Message Boards

Topic : 04/10 Marriage Dilemmas

Number of Replies: 263
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, April 04, 2008, 02:12:40 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Have you ever had the nagging feeling that something wasn’t right with your relationship? Dr. Phil’s guests say they saw several red flags before they walked down the aisle, but they looked the other way and still said, “I do.” Randall and Shawn were happily married until Shawn discovered men’s magazines in her husband’s bag. Now Randall is out of the closet as a gay man, and he’s struggling to keep his family together. Shawn wants to know if they should stay married for their two pre-teen children or get a divorce. How are their kids handling the news that their father is gay? And, Natalie says she’s leaving if her husband, Robert, doesn’t change his lazy ways. She says he hasn’t worked in a year and watches TV all day while she works, cooks, cleans and pays bills. Robert says he’s pursuing his dream of writing a novel, but Natalie says the book is an excuse to sit on his butt all day. Is Robert a talented undiscovered writer or a freeloading husband? Share your thoughts here.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

April 9, 2008, 6:17 pm CDT

That was nice...

Quote From: fromthesquare

My son's best friend has a gay father.  He got married and fathered this wonderful boy then left his wife for another man.  It shook her to the core when he and his lover started to show up at the son's baseball games together.  It was a terrible divorce.  Then he got HIV.  Now they couldn't be closer.  They are still divorced, he is still gay but they have decided to love each other for their son.  He stays at her place and cares for her when she is sick- she has battled cancer.  She takes care of him when he is sick.  They raised this child together.  What I think of the gay lifestyle is not important.  What I think of their son is.  He is a sensitive, wonderful teenager who does not get into trouble, loves his parents and respects his elders.  I love him as one of my own. 

 

That was a sweet story...and healthy people in the same situation take it for granted that they'll be around to be good parents to their children.  I'm glad they modeled a loving relationship because they only have one chance to be good parents, maybe getting sick and thinking about not being around for their son brought them closer.   The guests on the show should ask themselves, if I die tomorrow or get sick, will my child remember all the fighting, or that Mom and Dad treated each other well?

 
April 9, 2008, 6:39 pm CDT

04/10 Marriage Dilemmas

      This show hasn't aired yet. I think the husband kept the fact that he was gay as a secret from his wife because he thought she would not go through with the marriage. I guess its bad to lie or not be honest about something like that in the beginning. Now that there married the truth comes up. I don't get how you can be married and not know that. Lets see what Dr. Phil says, and see if this husband has anything else hiding
 
April 9, 2008, 7:10 pm CDT

Check that out

 

Dont Worry Be HAPPY

 

happyhappyhappyhappyhappy

 
April 9, 2008, 9:29 pm CDT

Judgement

Maybe people should watch the show before they start throwing stones.  I am the wife.  Tomorrow after the show airs I'll update you on the status of our lives since we taped the show. 

Also, nobody has the right to place judgement on anybody when they don't even know the entire story. There is only one who has the right to judge. That would be God.

Tune in tomorrow...

Shawne
 
April 10, 2008, 1:43 am CDT

04/10 Marriage Dilemmas

Quote From: shawneos1

Maybe people should watch the show before they start throwing stones.  I am the wife.  Tomorrow after the show airs I'll update you on the status of our lives since we taped the show. 

Also, nobody has the right to place judgement on anybody when they don't even know the entire story. There is only one who has the right to judge. That would be God.

Tune in tomorrow...

Shawne

Shawne --

 

In a way, I undertand your situation.

 

I know a woman who married (some 30 years) ago in an attempt to "straighten herself out."

 

The marriage lasted a decade, but in the meantime she had three kids and only succeeded in making herself, her husbanc and her kids miserable.

 

I hope that one of the outcomes of societal acceptance of gays is that nobody will get into a life, and bring others into a life, that they don't want.

 

Best,

Marian

 

PS -- I have nothing to say about people who talk about praying oneself straight and out of sin. We have them here too, and have learned that even on smaller issues, there is no point arguing with someone who thinks their knowledge comes from their God.

 
April 10, 2008, 7:40 am CDT

I've lived this myself

I was married for 19 years and I found out that the man I married was living a homosexual lifestyle.  He had been living this lifestyle before we got married.  What hurt so deeply was that he deceived me and lied to me for so long.  More than what it did to me it hurt our 16 yr old son.  We have been divorced for 3 years, eventhough my son and I have both suffered, I think my son is the one who has suffered the most.  I am glad to see that Shawn and her husband are putting thier daughters feelings first in this situation.  This is something that has made it hard for me to trust anyone.

 

If a man lies with a male as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination.  They shall surely be put to death.  Their blood shall be upon them.  Leviticus 20:13


 
April 10, 2008, 9:37 am CDT

04/10 Marriage Dilemmas

In the case of Shawne and Randall: Shawne is NOT a victim...she says this. She knew Randall was gay before they married so she can't whine now. A person is what they are and I believe that you are born that way. My objection is in bringing children into this sham of a marriage so that they wind up paying the price for your poor choice in marrying a gay person, knowing that person can't change.

 

Regarding homosexuality itself and the verses in the Bible: here's my question: God does NOT make mistakes! Therefore, if you are born gay, and God doesn't make mistakes, how can you be damned for being what you were born to be?? To me, that's like damning someone for being born with a birth defect. (and, no, I'm NOT equating being gay with a birth defect...it is just an example.)

 

I also have a serious problem with gay people lying so they can marry straight people to hide behind, and then having kids whose lives will be torn up on down the road when the person finally comes out! It is one of the most selfish things they can do!

 

I keep saying this: know someone BEFORE you take that long walk down the aisle! There's a good article on www.grammytree.blogspot.com called "Before You Say I Do" in the Feb posts.

 

Natalie and Robert: Wow! How can a man expect his wife to have any respect for him when he acts like a rebellious, lazy teenager who wants to play all day? He needs a J.O.B.! It's amazing how people want to demand respect, but haven't a clue about how to earn it.

I wonder what he will do when his inheritance is all gone.

 

Who knows...he may succeed in getting his book published...I'm all for following your passion...but, meanwhile, he needs to stay rooted in reality and bring some income into the home! You CAN do both!

 

I also am a writer and have had things published. I'm an artist and a photographer who has sold many of my pieces. I've driven race cars and have done lots of fun things.....all the while raising three kids alone, and often working THREE jobs at the same time. Tired? Oh yeah...but these things invigorated me and I always found time for them. It's a matter of prioritizing.

 
April 10, 2008, 10:18 am CDT

This Is Not the Only Sin!

Quote From: joyfulagrl

I was married for 19 years and I found out that the man I married was living a homosexual lifestyle.  He had been living this lifestyle before we got married.  What hurt so deeply was that he deceived me and lied to me for so long.  More than what it did to me it hurt our 16 yr old son.  We have been divorced for 3 years, eventhough my son and I have both suffered, I think my son is the one who has suffered the most.  I am glad to see that Shawn and her husband are putting thier daughters feelings first in this situation.  This is something that has made it hard for me to trust anyone.

 

If a man lies with a male as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination.  They shall surely be put to death.  Their blood shall be upon them.  Leviticus 20:13


Yes the bible says these things.  It also says that we should not  fornicate, commit adultery, steal, disrespect our parents...  I could go on.  Leviticus is about all types of sin.  Homosexuals did not corner the market on this.  Why are they so easy to cast stones at?  Maybe we don't like to look at the ways that we offend God.
 
April 10, 2008, 10:40 am CDT

This isn't the first time

"I know something about publishing because in my family, we published nine New York Times best-sellers."

This is a direct quote made by Dr. Phil on today's show. Now, I'm sure it's important to him that he drives his points home with his guests, but this isn't the first time my respect for the man has been thrown due to his arrogance. I realize having your own show would create the perfect platform to promote your work, but it's starting to get old. Everytime I turn the show on these days, there's Dr. Phil, using himself in yet another example of how we should all live our lives. It would be pretty cool if once in awhile, he could take a more humble approach and talk about families out there in the real world. Maybe even bring some on the show who are model citizens who do great things in their communities and who your guests could possibly relate with. Hearing about how great you are all day really gets old. And come on - you're a smat guy and we'd all hope that you have realized by now that your lifestyle doesn't come close to matching the average joe's. Maybe it did long ago, but if we have to hear about your first beat-up car one more time, you might start losing viewers. You're not special because you had an old car, many of us still drive those old cars!  

Dr. Phil, I come from a classy family and attended good schools. Here's one of the coolest lessons I ever learned, from a soft-spoken, wise old professor during my undergraduate degree:

"Watch out for those people who need to feel important. You'll know them right away by the way they only use themselves in examples about anything having to do with anything. They'll never hear you or anyone else because they're to busy thinking about the next thing THEY want to say." 

 
April 10, 2008, 11:28 am CDT

04/10 Marriage Dilemmas

Quote From: joyfulagrl

I was married for 19 years and I found out that the man I married was living a homosexual lifestyle.  He had been living this lifestyle before we got married.  What hurt so deeply was that he deceived me and lied to me for so long.  More than what it did to me it hurt our 16 yr old son.  We have been divorced for 3 years, eventhough my son and I have both suffered, I think my son is the one who has suffered the most.  I am glad to see that Shawn and her husband are putting thier daughters feelings first in this situation.  This is something that has made it hard for me to trust anyone.

 

If a man lies with a male as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination.  They shall surely be put to death.  Their blood shall be upon them.  Leviticus 20:13


Your husband isn't living a gay lifestyle.....your husband is GAY.

 

If a man lies with a male as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination.  They shall surely be put to death.  Their blood shall be upon them.  Leviticus 20:13

 

Are you waiting for someone to put him to death? After all....if that is what the Bible says......

 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Next | Last