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Topic : 04/10 Marriage Dilemmas

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Created on : Friday, April 04, 2008, 02:12:40 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Have you ever had the nagging feeling that something wasn’t right with your relationship? Dr. Phil’s guests say they saw several red flags before they walked down the aisle, but they looked the other way and still said, “I do.” Randall and Shawn were happily married until Shawn discovered men’s magazines in her husband’s bag. Now Randall is out of the closet as a gay man, and he’s struggling to keep his family together. Shawn wants to know if they should stay married for their two pre-teen children or get a divorce. How are their kids handling the news that their father is gay? And, Natalie says she’s leaving if her husband, Robert, doesn’t change his lazy ways. She says he hasn’t worked in a year and watches TV all day while she works, cooks, cleans and pays bills. Robert says he’s pursuing his dream of writing a novel, but Natalie says the book is an excuse to sit on his butt all day. Is Robert a talented undiscovered writer or a freeloading husband? Share your thoughts here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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missyr81

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April 10, 2008, 2:54 pm PDT

dr. phil is dead wrong!

to tell this man that he's been denying who he is- was dead wrong - this man and anyone else who's gay CHOOSES it.he even made the remark that this is what he WANTS. Anyone who says that they're born this way, is trying to justify it. Dr. Phil- how can you claim to be a christian and encourage a man to go against the laws of God?

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mdcclc

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April 10, 2008, 2:55 pm PDT

natalie and robert

let me just start by saying robert is LAZY!!!!! Right now i am working 2 jobs so that my husband can get his bachelors degree. He ALSO works a part time job to help with the bills. She needs to get rid of him. If he is in the house he is contributing to the mess and he should help clean it up REGARDLESS!!. He is just plain LAZY!!

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murphy87

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April 10, 2008, 2:57 pm PDT

04/10 Marriage Dilemmas

Quote From: thatnatalie

Well...just to give you a little update...

I left Robert three months later and as of last month we are now, finally, divorced!!! He is still unemployed ...he managed to find a new girl to sponge from while he "Writes his book"

For me, I am in a fantastic relationship with someone who is kind and loving...and guess what? He has a job! I was so unhappy in that relationship and getting out was the best thing I could have ever done.

Take care and best wished to all of you in your relationships!

Natalie

Way to go girl!!!!!

They don't change unless their lives become uncomfortable. Maybe he'll change now- if so maybe you can eventually have a future. If not, you've moved on.

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afreelunch

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April 10, 2008, 2:59 pm PDT

Dr. Phil should stick to what he knows

And Dr. Phil does not know about writing fiction.

He may have written non-fiction bestsellers, which must be pitched with proposals, but a novel cannot go to an agent or editor unless it is complete. MAYBE an established author like Stephen King can get a contract with an outline, but a writer like the one on the show needs to finish his zombie book before he can sell it.

So Dr. Phil cannot hold himself up as a paragon of a writer and tell a novelist--even a neophyte--that he should go out and get a job and think that he will thrive in the marketplace. Fiction writers struggle to move in and out of the realities they create, and I dare say that Dr. Phil would not know the first thing about writing fiction. So he should not set himself up as an example.

I'm not saying the man on the show was right, but I am saying Dr. Phil was wrong.

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mrigsby

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surprised

April 10, 2008, 3:00 pm PDT

hard wired into homsexuality

I watch you , Dr Phil, almost everyday.I value your opinions and counsul. Your program is extremely helpful to me as a viewer. I watched today , April 10th,as you spoke with couple who were living in a marriage in which the man was gay. I heard you say that the man was living a life that he didn't choose , because he was HARD WIRED into the gay lifestlye. I just can't line that up with what the word of God says concerning homosexuality. I have heard your wife and you testifying to your Christian faith, and I'm so concerned that your comment on your program will confuse people of faith about the issue of homosexuality, and where you stand. I wish you could take the time to express your belief about this, it's a VERY important issue to alot of your viewers.

Thank you for your time,

Mrs. Merrilee Rigsby

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fromthesquare

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April 10, 2008, 3:01 pm PDT

Did He Say That?

Quote From: poppyseed454

Randal why would you do this to your WIFE?

SHAM SHAM SHAM!!!!!

How could you do this to your kids?

And what about AIDS???????????????

I would be so upset to think that my hubby was sleeping with a norther dam man.

And think about him putting his hands on me or even kissing me and thinking he had

some one other than me on his dam lips!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How sick and I would kick him out.

I am sorry it is a sin and and god will get you for this.

I have a brother that is gay and it still makes me ANGRY!!

POOR KIDS!

I would be upset ! it was bad when my real dad

was all ways sleeping with other women and he went to bed with a man.

I could never forgive him for that.

my mom did divorce him.

I hope that the kids will be OK but it really is not OK.

And Dr Phil and what are you thinking of?

THE KIDS ARE BEING HURT NOT THE PARENTS!

Kitty 3

I think that he admitted to being gay after magazines were found in his car. The show was not about his infidelity. It did not say that he had a lover or was cheating on his wife. Or did I miss that?

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fromthesquare

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April 10, 2008, 3:07 pm PDT

OUCH!!!

Quote From: jonesy385

There is no such thing as "people who used to be Gay" - People are BORN GAY, and if they go to that sicko church where the guy claims to "cure" people from being Gay (as if it's an illness!) -- THOSE PEOPLE ARE STILL GAY, but they are LIVING A CHARADE, and everyone who is not buried in the shroud of religious DENIAL sees that. Just as I could see the second that man opened his mouth on the TV, that he was GAY. AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG OR UNNATURAL ABOUT BEING GAY, BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE BORN THAT WAY, JUST LIKE YOU WERE BORN STRAIGHT. And when it comes to bi-sexual -- there is NOTHING wrong with that either, and actually, everyone who is born is bisexual. We all have someone, somewhere of the same sex that we would sleep with (YES YOU WOULD, IF YOU WERE NOT SO REGIMENTED AND INHIBITTED, AND AFRAID OF GOING TO HELL, AND ALL THOSE OTHER FAIRY TAILS YOU BIBLE THUMPERS ARE AFRAID OF, LIKE SOME KIDS ARE AFRAID OF THE BOOGY MAN HIDING UNDER THE BED, WHO MIGHT GRAB THEIR FEET IF THEY HAND THEM OVER THE SIDE). I slept with women when I was younger, but I wasn't Gay and I never considered myself "bi-sexual" -- I don't believe in LABELS. Just like I don't believe in the label "SINNER." Even today, whether I met a man I found attractive and interesting and sexy, or if I met a woman that I felt that way about -- It's about THE PERSON -- Not about what is between their legs.

You are as subtle as a sledge hammer. Can't you make your point with a little more tact? You talk about christians, fat people, or anyone who doesn't agree with your perspective very negatively. Most of us are interested in your opinion not your judgement.

"IF YOU WERE NOT SO REGIMENTED AND INHIBITTED, AND AFRAID OF GOING TO HELL, AND ALL THOSE OTHER FAIRY TAILS YOU BIBLE THUMPERS ARE AFRAID OF, LIKE SOME KIDS ARE AFRAID OF THE BOOGY MAN HIDING UNDER THE BED..." Jonsey385

OUCH!!!

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poppyseed454

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April 10, 2008, 3:08 pm PDT

SHAWNE YOU NEED HELP BAD

Sleeping Kitty On Monitor I AM SORRY BUT YOU NO WHAT IF YOU NEW SHAM ON YOU !!!!!!!

STILL YOU NEW AND YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER PUT YOUR CHILDREN IN THAT KIND OF HELL!!!~

SO SHAM ONE YOU.

SO YOU NEED HELP BAD.

YOU SHOULD NEVER GOTTEN MARRIED TO THE MAN AS HIS WIFE BE FOR YOU LEFT

WHAT DIDN'T YOU UNDERSTAND????

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fromthesquare

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April 10, 2008, 3:18 pm PDT

She Didn't Teach You Enough

Quote From: jonesy385

Are you NUTS??? "Living the homosexual lifestyle"??? THE MAN IS GAY. And the thing that hurt you the most is that he lied to you about taking it up the you know what? And then you get all Bible on us... No wonder your son is suffering so much. If you were not so ultra Bible, and all about the "sinners" your son would not view being Gay as anything wrong...But then again...If your husband didn't grow up in a closeted Bible thumping house, he probably would not have been in the closet and gotten married to you, and had kids and messed up so many people, including himself, just so that he could TRY to hide the fact that the Bible types would view him as a SINNER. OOooohhhh...I am SO GLAD sometimes, that I grew up in Greenwich Village, here, right by the Stonewall, where the Gay Rights movement started when I was about 10 years old. When I was a kid, I saw men walking down the street holding hands and kissing in the 60's, and I saw women doing that to eachother too, and my parents told me there was nothing unusual or wrong with that. My mother told me, when I was maybe 4 years old, "sometimes men love men, and sometimes women love women, and sometimes men love women, and it's all the same...It's just LOVE." And my family was not into all that repressive Bible "SIN" stuff. Nothing is a "sin" if it makes you feel happy and good. The SIN comes when you have to HIDE YOUR REAL SELF to live up to some IMAGE and end up hurting people, just so they won't call you a SINNER.

It is great that your mother taught you to respect gays and lesbians. How about some respect for those who disagree with you? Being hateful toward someone because they are christian is no different than being hateful because they are gay. It is still hateful.

This woman was married to a man who lied to her and left her for another man. Who are you to judge her pain? How do you know what she has been through?

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julie1418

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April 10, 2008, 3:21 pm PDT

04/10 Marriage Dilemmas

Quote From: slftracey

I have met so many people who claim to be bi-sexual but only sleep with members of the opposite sex when they are drunk. I am in recovery from alcoholism so these are people I know from my past. They said they would never do anything sexual with same sex gender when sober? How do you explain that? Are they still born with the desire but with a disclaimer of being drunk?

YES! The "drunk" is an excuse for acting out on their natural desires because society is so judgmental and cruel to people who do not fit into a narrow definition of "Christian" or "normal". People can thump their Bibles all they want...I have yet to find one Bible thumper willing to live their own lives by the same strict interpretation of the Bible to which they hold others.

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