Quote From: oldcowgirl Yes I agree with you that we are all God's children and we all need spiritual uplifting. Scripture says that we will individually be judged by his Word, not by what man perceives to be right or wrong. When reading the bible it is clear to me that God's love toward us was expressed through the the sacrifice of his Son so that we could be reconciled to him once again. He put a plan in place, a way for us to be one with him again. From what I've read it is made clear that we are to put aside certain things and obey his instructions in all things. We won't be perfect, and we can be forgiven, but it we aren't supposed to willingly continue in sin. Not everyone lives thier lives according to scriptures however. I realize this and every person has the right to live their life as they choose as long as they aren't hurting others. Again, I don't understand why people want to call themselves Christains if they don't want to follow the teachings of the Christian faith, instead they try to change the teachings to fit their life choices.
I had a very dear friend who was gay. He never really discussed it much, but I knew it, and I loved him, our whole family loved him and he spent a great deal of time with us especially during the holidays. He passed away from AIDS back in the 80's. His sexual orientation did not interfere with us loving him. He was a wonderful person and I am proud I could be a part of his life.
I also have a dear female friend. Her children and mine attended school together. Her husband, their father announced he was gay when their last child was in his senior year of high school It was absolutely devastating for the entire family. I can not tell you the pain this family experienced. My friend and her children felt as if their entire life had been one big lie. The embarrassment in our small community was horrendous for them. It is not fair for a gay man to deceive a woman in this way and hurt so many people.
"It is not fair for a gay man to deceive a woman in this way and hurt so many people". I agree. But you know what else isn't fair? It is not fair for a church to deceive a man by telling him that his sexual orientation is "just a stage", that it will go away, or that he can change it if he prays hard enough, so that the man marries a woman in total faith that his homosexuality will disappear. That also isn't fair. I would wager that most gay men entering marriages are entering them based on THAT lie that they have heard in the pews of their church. I know I sure did. And from that mindset, it wasn't a big leap for me to think that my wife doesn't need to be hurt by the knowledge that I am 'tempted' by homosexuality...after all, straight men aren't expected to confess to their wives that the hot women who go by get their blood boiling.
And so we find ourselves, 5, 10, 20, maybe more years down the road still as gay as we ever were. We've prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed for God to "heal" us, to take away this sin as he promised he would. And after that we prayed some more. We thought, "maybe if I just don't think about it it will go away", and then in surfaces in our dreams while we sleep. We come to realize that this just is not going to go away. We further come to realize that either God doesn't exist to hear our prayers, or he is not listening to them, or he is listening to them but simply doesn't see our sexual orientation as something that requires changing.
If churches stopped telling gay men that they were so horrible...if they stopped telling us all sorts of lies about the "gay lifestyle" (as if there is only one way that gay people live)...if they stopped telling us that we could pray it away...imagine how many families would NOT be torn apart by this, since the men would not have gotten married in the first place. I bet if anyone bothered to check, they'd find that well over 90-some percent of mixed orientation marriages exist because of the influence of religion.
And once a gay man knows that he truly is gay and that this isn't going away like his church (and in his mind, his God) promised that it would, what is he to do? By then he has a family he loves and a life he has built with them. What then? Does he keep lying about who he is? Does he keep pretending he is straight (which means continuing to lie)? Or does he start telling the truth from this point forward and try to make the best out of a painful and devastating situation? And does he try to start modelling integrity and authenticity from this point forward?
Have you ever had the nagging feeling that something wasn’t right with your relationship? Dr. Phil’s guests say they saw several red flags before they walked down the aisle, but they looked the other way and still said, “I do.” Randall and Shawn were happily married until Shawn discovered men’s magazines in her husband’s bag. Now Randall is out of the closet as a gay man, and he’s struggling to keep his family together. Shawn wants to know if they should stay married for their two pre-teen children or get a divorce. How are their kids handling the news that their father is gay? And, Natalie says she’s leaving if her husband, Robert, doesn’t change his lazy ways. She says he hasn’t worked in a year and watches TV all day while she works, cooks, cleans and pays bills. Robert says he’s pursuing his dream of writing a novel, but Natalie says the book is an excuse to sit on his butt all day. Is Robert a talented undiscovered writer or a freeloading husband? Share your thoughts here.
