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Topic : 04/11 Women Beware!

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Created on : Friday, April 04, 2008, 02:15:24 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Women beware: Men are on the prowl! Some guys win your heart and dupe you for thousands of dollars, while other men learn the slick techniques of pick-up artists so they can get you in the sack! Go inside a classroom where single men are being taught The Mystery Method -- a step-by-step technique on how to meet, attract and date beautiful women. The instructors say this method teaches guys to be more confident. When the students hit the bars, will The Mystery Method help them land a lady? What do the women think of their techniques? Then, meet Ross Jeffries, the self-proclaimed "Father of Seduction." He says he’s taught thousands of men to seduce women through language. Now he fears that he’s created monsters, because many of his followers are seducing woman through deception, and he says that’s exactly what The Mystery Method is all about. A heated debate ensues between Ross and The Mystery Method instructors, Nick and Scott. Is Ross’ technique actually as benign as he claims? And, Victoria says she fell in love for the first time with a guy whom who she thought was the perfect man, until he she says he ended up scamming her out of $100,000. Did Victoria miss the warning signs? How can she pick up the pieces of her broken heart and move on? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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PennyLane78

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April 11, 2008, 3:53 pm PDT

04/11 Women Beware!

Quote From: hyphup

Well, apparently most women's idea of general self-improvement is telling someone like Canada_88 to "Just Be Yourself". Which will not work for someone like him, period.

Someone who does not know what "Just Be Yourself" actually means will not be able to do it just because you told him 3 words.

Being natural around people -- being social, and fun, and emotionally open, and if you are a man who wants a woman; or a woman who wants a man, that also means being sexy; -- cannot be communicated in 3 words, nor really in this sentence. It takes active development, which is what seduction & dating coaches provide. Some of them coach both men and women, in fact.

I just said, if someone has that much trouble with social situations maybe they should get a little therapy to work on social issues. There is no shame in that.

But this "Mystery Method" isn't about helping people who have social anxiety or who are socially awkward...sorry, it's a manipulation, it won't help with those things, it will only help in learning how to manipulate people.

Dating/Seduction coaches aren't trying to help the WHOLE person...they are trying to teach a person tricks.

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PennyLane78

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April 11, 2008, 3:57 pm PDT

04/11 Women Beware!

Quote From: lizzyp

I think that everyone who watched today's show (April 11/2008 it was aired in Canada) should read or buy the book "The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists" by Neil Strauss, on their way home from work before you can post an opinion on this topic.

Just to clarify to the world: I'm a chick!

And I'm reading this book right now. Solely because my brothers thought it was hilarious and I had to see what was so funny. You need to understand that a lot of PUA's (Pickup Artists) didn't start out to lie and deceive women. 99.9% of all PUA's started trying out patterns to better a single part of their lives. Not necessarily to sleep with the most women that they could; but to improve social/communication skills, general confidence or social acceptance. You can't say that you have never wanted to improve one of these things about yourself at one point in time. So, this whole thing is not necessarily a negative one right from the hop.

What happens to these men is that they can become so good at what they do, they become cocky about it. And Ladies, we know what that looks like, don't we? Ross Jeffries is one of these men. Speed Seduction and/or hypnotism are wrong. He is what gives other PUA's a bad wrap. Eventually, most PUA's realize that this lifestyle is draining and unfulfilling. These men will eventually quit the game. And, if you don't think so, would you really think that a 70 year old man has a chance with you this weekend? There is a very limited time frame for this type of game.

I think that I would be lucky to have a PUA try to catch me at a bar. It's refreshing to get hit on in a different way than usual. ANYWAY, I just wanted to put out there that PUA's are not the evil spawn that they are perceived to be. They are just men trying to be accepted.

"99.9% of all PUA's started trying out patterns to better a single part of their lives. "

Exactly!!! They aren't dealing with trying to better their whole person.

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elizalexus

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April 11, 2008, 3:57 pm PDT

Women Protect Yourselves

Quote From: jeanjohnso

Why can't women or men go to the police dept and request a back ground check on people they are worried about or get a gut feeling things are not quite right. This should be public records.

14 years ago, I was involved with a guy in Oregon for 9 mos who told me he wanted a monogamous relationship and wanted to marry and have kids with me. Then I found out the entire time he was having unprotected sex with many women and telling them all the same lies. He was partially paralized as a teenager and used his innocent victim persona to seduce women. finally admitted to me that he was a sex addict and had "unrepentant" sex with hundreds of women and I was a prude. I connected with several of the other women and they told me all the lies he had told them. I even had one of his outraged female furniture store customers call and say he had come into her house when she was in the shower! What a creep!!!

(I found the trail of women after hitting redial on the phone after he had a secretive conversation with someone, who turned out to be involved with him.)

He has since married some fool who probably has no idea what he is really about and doing behind her back.

So, I began going to the courthouse and checking out every guy I dated, since my trust was shot thanks to this guy. What an eye opener!

Four guys I was thinking about dating were checked out: one was still married; another was arrested many times for theft and shoplifting, another for stalking and abuse, and the fourth, his family was trying to have him legally put away in a psychiatric facility. Every one of these guys was a clean cut 40-50 year old professional who appeared normal on the surface. I finally found one that checked out clean--we have been happily married for 13 years and he is totally normal and trustworthy.

So ladies, the morale is, don't give up hope, but don't trust anyone until you have fully checked them out.

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taaheatea

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April 11, 2008, 4:02 pm PDT

Agree

Quote From: jewelsf

It's pretty bad when men have to lower themselves to pay to take a class on how to score with women! Talk about no confidence, horny lowlife's, little boys. You certainly can't call them men! There is nothing wrong with a man learning how to develop confidence within himself but that is a whole different animal then what this is. I prefer a man who doesn't play games, I have never been a game player myself. I'm so happy that I am married and not in the dating world, YUCK! Also, I happen to know from watching other women and past friends of mine many years ago that if they wouldn't allow themselves to be picked up in bars so easily for a one night stand than men wouldn't expect it to happen. I'm not trying to bash women but I have in fact seen it with my own eyes and heard the gory details after. What does a woman expect when she goes home with a man a couple of hours after they met?. Nowadays with the date rape drugs so rampant women really need to stick together and watch out for each other, I feel that these are the exact type of guys that would slip one into your drink when your not looking and his lines aren't getting him anywhere with you. My best advice for women who go to clubs (which I used to do and think there is nothing wrong with girls out having fun) is to not be taken in by a guys lines, watch your drink carefully, and have more respect for yourself than to sleep with a guy that you don't even know. If he is really interested in you he will take you on dates first, get to know you and then let nature take its course. If he's trying to get into your pants the same night that he meets you how much respect does he have for you and how can you build a relationship from there?. Good luck ladies, I know it's hard to find a prince among all of those frogs.

You hit the nail on the head. My 21 year old daughter just was slipped a date rape drug in a 4 star hotel and restaurant in our N. Idaho community. Fortunately she was with friends and her older sister came to pick her up and she was barely breathing. I found out later b/c I live about 80 miles away. I had no idea this was so serious and is getting worse. My daughter is okay, and was not raped. It helps to have family in law enforcement and my husband is a prosecutor. He didn't know who he was messing with. He'll get his! My daughter learned a hard lesson. She wasn't even drinking alcohol.

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lizzyp

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April 11, 2008, 4:11 pm PDT

04/11 Women Beware!

Quote From: PennyLane78

"99.9% of all PUA's started trying out patterns to better a single part of their lives. "

Exactly!!! They aren't dealing with trying to better their whole person.

Trying to fix one thing about yourself at a time is not a bad thing. If you try to swallow an apple whole, you are going to have some issues, but if you eat it one bite at a time it's not that hard.

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PennyLane78

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April 11, 2008, 4:19 pm PDT

04/11 Women Beware!

Quote From: lizzyp

Trying to fix one thing about yourself at a time is not a bad thing. If you try to swallow an apple whole, you are going to have some issues, but if you eat it one bite at a time it's not that hard.

I'm not talking about trying to fix one thing about yourself at a time.

I am talking about trying to mask an issue with a superficial fix. Learning how to manipulate and seduce women isn't "one bite" of the issue...it's avoiding the REAL issue and trying to mask it.

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suni222

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April 11, 2008, 4:25 pm PDT

Ross Jeffries

Now here is a guy who creeps me out. I do not know any women in my circle who would give this guy a second look. They would run. Nothing he said could ever even come close to seduces me. He is mostly a BS artist. The end!!

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hyphup

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April 11, 2008, 4:36 pm PDT

04/11 Women Beware!

Quote From: PennyLane78

I just said, if someone has that much trouble with social situations maybe they should get a little therapy to work on social issues. There is no shame in that.

But this "Mystery Method" isn't about helping people who have social anxiety or who are socially awkward...sorry, it's a manipulation, it won't help with those things, it will only help in learning how to manipulate people.

Dating/Seduction coaches aren't trying to help the WHOLE person...they are trying to teach a person tricks.

Therapy will not teach him how to date and act around women. And yes, "Mystery Method" and other methods, are about helping people with social anxiety and bad social strategies. It's not manipulation.

Look at books like "Love Tactics", which are for both men and women. Some tactics sound manipulative, but they are really just what often happens accidentally when people find eachother attractive.

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hyphup

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April 11, 2008, 4:39 pm PDT

04/11 Women Beware!

Quote From: taaheatea

You hit the nail on the head. My 21 year old daughter just was slipped a date rape drug in a 4 star hotel and restaurant in our N. Idaho community. Fortunately she was with friends and her older sister came to pick her up and she was barely breathing. I found out later b/c I live about 80 miles away. I had no idea this was so serious and is getting worse. My daughter is okay, and was not raped. It helps to have family in law enforcement and my husband is a prosecutor. He didn't know who he was messing with. He'll get his! My daughter learned a hard lesson. She wasn't even drinking alcohol.

Truly manipulative tactics, like date rape drugs, are extremely discourgaged and ridiculed by seduction and dating coaches.

Why would you need to give a girl a date rape drug if you can get her to come home with you actively wanting sex with you?

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lizzyp

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April 11, 2008, 4:47 pm PDT

04/11 Women Beware!

Quote From: PennyLane78

I'm not talking about trying to fix one thing about yourself at a time.

I am talking about trying to mask an issue with a superficial fix. Learning how to manipulate and seduce women isn't "one bite" of the issue...it's avoiding the REAL issue and trying to mask it.

Who doesn't try to fix things with superficial things? If that works for them right now, who cares? Good for them!

I agree that manipulation of another person is negative but seduction is a two person game. One person has to initiate the seduction and the other has to succumb to it. We can all pretend that we are always the good person and the other person is always the bad person, but I'm sorry that is not true.

I'm trying to make a blanket statement that things are not always as they seem. If the issue is that they are learning how to manipulate another person, then yes, I agree that that is negative. BUT, my point is that you have to be naive enough to let yourself be manipulated for it to work.

Be a stronger person and open your eyes. Try to figure out what that person is really trying to say to you when they are running a pattern. If you are intuitive, you can pick it up. If you pick it up, don't react in the way that they are expecting. If you do not make the response that they want, they will leave. A PUA will not bundle you into the back room and rape you. That is not what they do. Consent is KEY.

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