Quote From: dropitI twenty-one years old. I am a straight-A student. I'm a former Boy Scout. I spent two years of my life in unpaid charitable work. I don't believe in sex before marriage. I can't imagine cheating on my wife or scamming a woman for her money. I play the piano, am in great shape, and got a perfect 1600 on the SAT. I don't drink or smoke. I've never used drugs. I speak two foreign languages. I was an 8 on hotornot.com. I used to write comedy. I'm OK with committment. I have four younger siblings that I love dearly. I want to have a family, and I want to spend time with them. I am the guy you want your daughter to bring home.
In other words, my motives are pure and I am, on paper, a freaking catch. (I don't even swear---can I be more family-friendly?)
I used to open doors, buy flowers, and make wonderfully romantic gestures---like calling all a girl's friends, having them write something nice about her, and then binding it together into a book, for her Christmas present.
And, incidentally, I had no success with women. Whatsoever. Nada. I can't even count the number of times I was told, "You would be a GREAT boyfriend!" and then found out they were just words. My junior prom date started making out with another guy AT THE PROM.
I'm sure I'll be barraged with a bunch of replies saying that not all women are like that; they don't use guys for their money, they're looking for a "nice guy" with whom to settle down, etc. I agree with you. Nice women don't use guys they don't find attractive.
They don't even give them a chance in the first place.
See, girls care more about love than guys---therefore, all movies about love are oriented toward girls. Hence, the colloquial "chick flick." Chick flicks always have a female as a protagonist, and the audience sees through the protagonist's eyes . The protagonist sees whatever dreamy guy, who then proceeds to perform various romantic gestures for the girl, and everyone lives happily ever after. Girls then proceed to tell their guy friends to do these things, because it looked good in the movie.
Indeed, these romantic gestures are fantastic---IF---and this is a huge if---IF the girl already likes the guy.
What on earth is one to do if he's not that guy? He can't send a resume. I think most women would be impressed with the qualifications I listed above---but not attracted. He can't convince her to be attracted to him---attraction is not a choice. It's an emotion. Can people act contrary to their emotions? Certainly, but in this case, why should they?
What happens to this guy is that he has a lot of female friends---but no dates. He is a shoulder to cry on, but not a mouth to kiss. A friendly ear, but the conversation ends when her tears stop. Day after day, he hears sob stories from girls in love with jerks, and wonders what the heck is wrong with him. But in reality, NOTHING is wrong with him! He's an amazing guy! He can listen, think, communicate, sympathize---all of which women say they want. He's generous, easy-going, and never insults people. He's careful to avoid imposing his opinions on others.
The problem is that women just can't see it. Generosity and amiability are misinterpreted as weakness, respect for others is interpreted as lack of confidence, etc. Nothing is wrong with this guy; what's wrong is the lens through which women perceive him.
This same lens has other imperfections when it looks at guys typed as "jerks." Arrogance is seen as confidence. Rudeness is perceived as power. And a guy who can't hold an intelligent conversation is seen as "mysterious" when he doesn't talk.
The pickup community is about protecting women from themselves. It is about reaching the good guys and giving them the tools they need. It's about looking nice instead of looking like a doormat, looking caring instead of looking needy.
Given Dr. Phil's demographic, I estimate that most of the people reading this are women. I honestly couldn't care less about what you think about the PU community, because whether you know about it or not, it will work on you. You might have seen the show and thought, "How tacky!" but trust me, you saw a misrepresentation of the truth.
What I REALLY care about, however, are all the single guys in your lives that you might influence away from the community, ESPECIALLY the nice ones.
Here's an open letter on some other boards. I agree with it completely.
To Whom It May Concern:
As the seduction community becomes more open and in the mainstream, it
seems young men who are tying its techniques for the first few times
are been crucified by the media and a large number within society.
These guys who have never had success with women are being punished by
society for trying to improve their lives. They are working hard to
achieve a goal and the firs thing society does is turn around and say
STOP. If they were advancing ANYTHING other than their success with
women, we'd be all for it. If the community was a fashion community
women would think its adorable... yet the seduction community is
assumed to be full of tricksters.
I personally take offence with this view, I have never
intentionally misled a woman I care about enough to sleep with. Nor
shall I. Running routines is such a tiny part of what game is about, these guys have never talked to women before, how can they expect to "be themselves"
and be successful with women. Yet this is seen as tricking a woman into
bed, and something to watch out for. These guys have to learn somehow,
they are the guys that couldn't get a woman, and now someone gave them
tools THAT WORK, and we turn around and tell them they're wrong? This
absurd, unfair and hypocrisy of the must unjust nature.
There is a belief in society that "who you are" cannot be wrong. Your
opinions can be wrong, your beliefs can be but who you are is something
you have to stay true to. Who you are can be a neurotic mess, but you
should still "be yourself just not neurotic", this is clearly
absurdity. I am still me, I still feel the same emotions
I just know how to handle social situations better. This doesn't
invalidate my emotions at all. The fact that these men are using a
routine to pick someone up is the exact same as girls who make their
boyfriends do stupid magazine tests. It is meaningless fun designed to
show you a side of a guy you would ordinarily not look at.
Women have long complained that they keep going for the wrong guy. So
finally the guys who are right for them find a way to get the attention
of attractive women, and how does society respond? It doesn't like it
one bit! What are we not supposed to rise above our physical station?!
Not on my watch. These are the guys who haven't had women their whole
lives, these are the guys who can actually bring depth to a
relationship. They are the most deserving on the planet
they are TRYING HARD to overcome the crap YOU in society have forced
down their throat. They WILL become successful whether you like it or
not because this stuff WORKS. When they do, they will K-NOW that they
don't need routines ANYMORE because they have become someone who is
CONFIDENT with women.
They will be being themselves when they have LEARNED HOW TO. Many
people expect quiet and shy people to actually be like that deep down,
to not have any real personality. This to me is societys real crime.
This is something society should be ASHAMED of. It has been forcing these guys the wrong message for decades, and now it tries to blame us for helping them?
I don't accept it. How come it is ok to learn how to progress in your
career? It is ok to learn how to dress well? It is ok to learn how to
be good at sports? Yet suddenly when we learn how to be good with women
we become tricksters? This is pure hypocrisy
I will fight the corner of any guy who is the unfortunate recipient of
negative comment or abuse for their efforts to improve their social
life. I start with this letter.
To the Gents in the community just starting out. Do not let people who
discourage you get you down or stop you. They don't want you to be
successful with women; they don't believe its possible, but we know
different. You can learn to share the beauty of a woman as a person and
physically, and your life will be better for it.
Signed
Simon Taylor (Syren)
Dan Bell (Dropit)
First I want to address the chick flicks. The most successful chick flicks ever have been with a nice guy, not a handsome rogue. Think of Sleepless in Seattle with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks, Then how about When Harry Met Sally with Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal. These men are not hunks, they are really nice guys and that makes them adorable. Also I would like to add that I find arrogance, rudeness, and mysterious to be a huge turn off. The kind of women who prefer men like that are not the type you want to associate with in the first place. They will always be looking for the wrong guy that they see as exciting until they get their first black eye. I realize that you are somewhat soured on women but you are so young you don't have the capacity to realize that eventually a mature woman will appreciate you for exactly who you are. So please don't become bitter "which is how you sound" and keep being who you are, the right girl will come along who will appreciate romance and share the same values as you. Just a note from a woman married to a really nice guy for over 20 years.
Women beware: Men are on the prowl! Some guys win your heart and dupe you for thousands of dollars, while other men learn the slick techniques of pick-up artists so they can get you in the sack! Go inside a classroom where single men are being taught The Mystery Method -- a step-by-step technique on how to meet, attract and date beautiful women. The instructors say this method teaches guys to be more confident. When the students hit the bars, will The Mystery Method help them land a lady? What do the women think of their techniques? Then, meet Ross Jeffries, the self-proclaimed "Father of Seduction." He says he’s taught thousands of men to seduce women through language. Now he fears that he’s created monsters, because many of his followers are seducing woman through deception, and he says that’s exactly what The Mystery Method is all about. A heated debate ensues between Ross and The Mystery Method instructors, Nick and Scott. Is Ross’ technique actually as benign as he claims? And, Victoria says she fell in love for the first time with a guy whom who she thought was the perfect man, until he she says he ended up scamming her out of $100,000. Did Victoria miss the warning signs? How can she pick up the pieces of her broken heart and move on? Talk about the show here.
