Quote From: jewelsfYour married activities are very similar to what ours are. I was talking about when 2 people first meet and watching a DVD is their first date. When my husband and I were dating we spent many nights just riding around out in the country and getting to know each other. A lot of dinners, sometimes I even cooked for him. Many of the same activities that you mentioned are the same that we did also. Granted I also never asked a man out but it wasn't because I didn't believe in it, I just didn't have to. I don't believe in a woman bleeding a guy dry just to date her, in fact I think it's downright wrong, but I do think that dates should be more than spending evenings on the sofa watching a movie. I'm talking about every date, not just the first one. I know women who have put up with this and I think it's not right. A woman should expect more effort on the mans end then to just rent a movie. I also believe that women should be proactive also and put their best effort into it too. It's a two way street. But I guess I'm really thinking about the fact that if a man can't put the effort into taking a woman to dinner, for a walk, out for coffee or whatever then I don't think he's a man that is worth a woman's time. We all deserve better than that. I would like to make another point, this one is for the men's side. I dated an Attorney, he was my boyfriend for 2 years, and he felt used by women who would order the most expensive item on the menu and then not eat it. He didn't mind AT ALL if that was what she really wanted, money wasn't a factor to him, he definitely wasn't cheap, but to see all that expensive food thrown in the trash would make his blood boil. He knew why these women did it, he was an attorney and they knew he had money. I totally agreed with him. He just wanted a woman to enjoy herself but he didn't want to be used. I know that I got off track but I admit that my mind goes about a millions miles a minute. So please excuse my rambling. Anyway, I still don't think it's the correct way to date a woman when they stay in her house every time he comes to see her. Personally I think the guy is too cheap to spring for anything more than a $3.00 movie. I know that I'm worth more than that. I like you and I truly hope that you understand my point. Sincerely, jewels
Hi Jewelsf!!
Interesting that you brought up the girls that order expensive dinners just because they know a guy has money. I was never like that but I have a friend from back in High School who used guys in a similar way until she finally grew up a little. She once commented to me that she dated more guys than I did. (Why she would even make a comment like that could fill up pages but I'm sure it was some kind of insecurity in her) She probably DID go out with more guys than I did but guess why? It wasn't because they were not interested. I had my fair share of guys that asked me for dates. But I did not think it was fair to go out with someone and have him spend money on me if I knew that I wasn't interested. in him. But my friend would date everyone who asked her out and when I asked her why she would go out with people she didn't care about, she commented that she was getting a "free movie or free dinner " out of it. Ouch!!
I once dated a guy who had lots of money but was extremely cheap with me. Keep in mind that this was back in the old days when guys paid for the dates. He would arrange to meet me where we were supposed to go for our date-I would end up having to pay my own admission. Finally one time when he "met" me at a school dance I told him I was not going to hang around with him. I had paid my own admission so he was not my date, and therefore I was going to hang around with my friends AND dance with whoever I wanted to. There were alot of other things wrong with that relationship which I've talked about on other boards. When I met my husband I realized pretty quickly that he was kind and genuine, smart, fun to be with. He was generous as well, but I never took advantage of him. I would suggest activities that were not costly. We were very young but I was able to recognize a great guy, and I guess I knew what I was doing because we are still together. Some things in dating may have changed over the years but traits like consideration, kindness, intelligence, loyalty, sense of humor etc are timeless!!!
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