Topic : 04/14 The Dr. Phil House: House of Greed

 This isn't about the will at all.  This is about feeling love and acceptance from your mother.

From what I saw, Lisa tried to get her mother's love and attention through conventional means over the years, without sucess, so now she is going to get some attention another way - via money.   I'm not sure what went on in the mother's first marriage, but whatever it was - it wasn't Lisa's fault, and the mom seems to be blaming Lisa for it by shutting Lisa out of her heart and her life.  Then, to add insult to injury, the mom focuses her love and attention on Sara.  Give me a break.  That's like saying "I don't love you and I want you to suffer".

Hugs to you Lisa.  You deserve some.

I could not believe what was coming out of this Mom's mouth, the anger, the hatred, the me, me, me, me.

I so do not think this is about the will or money.  I think that is what Lisa focuses on because it is too painful to focus on the real issue of Mom's affections, or what serves as affection in this dysfunctional bunch, goes only to her younger daughter.

I think Lisa, over the years, has been so damaged by her mother that it is safer emotionally for her to say it is about the will or land than it is to face the real issue, mom is an emotional abuser.

I believe Lisa's family would be much better off to leave this property and move on and NOT leave a forwarding address.  Let mom die alone.  She has shamelessly emotionally driven a wedge between the sisters.

My mom lived in such a mess when she was growing up and believe me, they won't recover from this.  My mom is 85  years old and she always knew she was the least favorite of her mom who had 3 children.  It was evident to all the family.  Yet when it came dying time, my grandmother's other 2 children had died already, one (the favorite) by suicide.  So my mom stepped up and nursed her through her last illness with breast cancer.

I really can see no positive outcome from continuing a relationship with mom for Lisa.  Move.  Out of sight, out of mind.

• I am SO disgusted with Lisa! About 5 years ago my parents wrote up a will, living will, etc. They literally lined out everything in detail about what happens with everything from the money, to all their belongings, when they pass on. Those papers are still sitting unopened in my filing cabinet and they will remain that way until both my parents have passed on. Even then, I don't care! My siblings and I all feel the same way, we just don't care and it's not worth the fight! That is my parents money and they worked hard for it, I was just along for the ride and I am thankful just or having them! How can anyone assume that they have the right to things?  
• How can a daughter THINK that they have the right to their parents money or anything else when they pass on? I'm sorry, but I don't get that. Would it be a nice gesture? Well yeah,,, it would. But what is Lisa accomplishing by making such a HUGE deal over her own mothers will and ultimately her own mothers death???? It's sick! It's seems like Lisa is just waiting fort he mom to pass on.
• Lisa's attitude towards her own sister, sounded like my 7 yr old son! He can't understand why his 17 yr old sister can go hang out with her friends all the time and go to all the ball games, mall, etc and he can't! That's what Lisa sounded like! Her own jealousy is destroying her relationship with her sister!
• I do think that both Lisa and Sonja are putting the kids in the middle and that's sad! Lisa's daughter sounded just like Lisa! Sonja does need to let go of the bitterness. It's taking over her sense of reason. But if I was in her shoes with a kid like Lisa, I would probably be biter too!  

I have never seen such a disgusting, hateful family in my life. That mother is the mother from H-----. Mean and nasty. I felt it was quite clear that she enjoys the drama and manipulation she is in the middle of. Good luck with this family Dr Phil, I think this is going to be a challenge

Generally, I think Dr. Phil gets it right, but he came down hard on the mother in this case.  I know more is to come, so I hope he addresses the daughter's part in all of this.  The most telling moment on the show was not the dirt on the floor, but the granddaughter's interview.  The first thing she said was NOT "Grandma, I love you", or "Grandma, I miss you" or even "Grandma, I wish we spent more time together".  The first thing she said was "Grandma, I can't believe you're not leaving me anything in your will.".  Is this honestly what a 16 yr old thinks of or what she has heard at home?

I'm sure there are millions of families where the older generation has nothing of "value" to leave the younger generation.  What about fond memories, old pictures and cherished time spent with the loved one?  The older daughter seems to have a sense of entitlement (which the granddaughter now has too?).  Being first born does not mean you receive all of what your parent's have, or even ANY of what your parent's have.  Instead of counting the times "fence" was mentioned, count the times "will" was mentioned.  I'm not saying the mother is blameless by any means, but the older daughter appeared to me to have the "woe is me" syndrome.  She wanted to be the poor victim and not take any responsibility in what is obviously a huge mess.

I did not like seeing or hearing the sense of entitlement from her daughter Lisa.  A will is a private issue and what that person does with his or her money is their own business.  No one is owed anything from an estate.  How did the will become such a big issue with this family?  A will is a legacy though.  Giving should come from the heart.  I read where Lisa does have the mortgage for the land in her name because her mother does not qualify.  Then does this make her mother a renter on the land?  Then "the fence" was put up illegally and should be pulled down.  My concern was that the mothers house was papered with toilet paper and that there was property damage.  My other concern was there was clip where the mother said she was slapped.  I have huge issues with that and for her safety.   Yes, if that did happen, then yes, I can see where the mother is coming from.  From listening, the mother does have valid issues.  I would never question or even ask about someone elses will.   The mother is striking back with the will and using it as a weapon for what has happened to her.  It has made her a bitter person.  But, using profanity in talking with her daughter Lisa is uncalled for.  My mother never talked to me in that way.  I am appalled by that kind of behavior from a mother.  Ditto for the son-in-law for talking that way to his mother-in-law.  In conclusion, I feel with the toilet paper incidents and the slapping, that for the interest of safety for the parties involved that one of the families should move permanently off the property and that they get on with their lives.  There needs to be more space and distance.  By distance I mean not living in such close proximity to each other.  This might not be the best solution, but I am concerned about safety as the utmost priority.   I am not expecting a group hug out of this family or a happy ending.  If you can prove me wrong, Dr. Phil, more power to you!