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Topic : 04/14 The Dr. Phil House: House of Greed

Number of Replies: 465
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Created on : Friday, April 11, 2008, 08:16:44 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
You've heard the sayings, "Money can't buy happiness," and "Money is the root of all evil," and the newest family to move into The Dr. Phil House lives up to both of these adages! They’re engaged in a vicious war of finger-pointing and accusations over money, land and Mom's will. One daughter is slated to inherit everything while the other won’t get one red cent. How did a piece of land two family members purchased together become a royal battle ground? Family therapist Dr. Tara Fields, brings this family face to face for an emotional encounter. But will they participate? When sisters Lisa and Sara face off, who calls whom lazy and worthless, and will the siblings decide to put their grievances aside? Then, Dr. Phil makes a house call. Why is he fed up with this family? And, when Sonja's granddaughter makes a surprise visit with an emotional plea, you won't believe how Sonja responds. Can Dr. Phil get this family to focus on reuniting instead of dividing their land? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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April 14, 2008, 8:22 am CDT

House Of Greed

I just watched this show and feel very sad for the daughters in this situation.  I am 66 years old and am having the same type of problems with my 89 year old father so I know the hurt that can be inflicted by a parent who feels that money and property are more important than loving feelings.  Over 30 years ago my husband and I bought a piece of property next to property owned by my parents with the intention of being close to them as they aged so we could help them if they needed help.  Neither of the properties were extemely large so a joint decision was made to have one driveway between the properties with most of the driveway being on our property.  My husband didn't think this would ever cause trouble because he didn't think a parent would ever do anything to harm an only child like me.  My husband passed away 14 years ago and my parents thought this gave them control over me again even though I have been an adult for many years - this didn't get extremely bad until 6 years ago when my mother passed away.  My father now wants to say who can and cannot come up the driveway, where they can park and how long they can stay.  He has called me terrible names because all I want is to be able to have the freedom to live my own life (at my age I certainly don't do anything wrong).  My father thinks that he owns the driveway outright because he paid to have it paved a few years ago even thought he would not have had a driveway if my husband and I hadn't made the initial investment in having it put in.  My father has threatened to change his will leaving me nothing (this doesn't bother me) - the worst part of this is that he has threatened my life if I don't do exactly what he wants.  I stay here because no matter how I am treated, I love my father and want to be here if he needs me. 

 

My advice to the couple who have purchased property with the parents is to get a lawyer and find the exact lines of your property and then sell your property and move away from your mother.  This needs to be done before you feel that you need to take care of her and this day will probably come no matter how hurt or mad you are at this point. Deep down we all love our parents and we do have to remember that they provided us with life and took care of us the best way they knew how as we were growing up and any money that they have at this point is still theirs to be used for retirement or to take care of them in their old age.  In the end there may not even be any money left to worry about.  Life is too short and precious to feel so much antimosity. 

 

I am not enjoying living the way I have to now but will continue to do so and try to remain as peaceful as possible not only for my dad but for me because I know I am doing the right thing and with God's help I can get through anything.

 

Good luck to the two sisters on the show - I hope they will someday be close because they will probably outlive their mother and need each other in the future.  In the end it doesn't matter what the will says if both sisters are in agreement and decide they each should share in anything that is left. 

 
April 14, 2008, 8:32 am CDT

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Quote From: keksews

 This woman is pure evil!!!  She is totally about controlling, dividing and ultimately destroying the relationships within her own family.   One day she will probably die an old, bitter woman ALONE!!!

Absolutely.

 

Sonja appears to be a crazy person.

 

She is insensitive, self centered, volatile, and manipulative. 

She thrives on causing drama and turmoil in family.

 

She twists everything around to be a personal insult and accepts no blame for anything she has done. 

 

It is likely Sonja person has a narcissistic personality disorder. 

These people create absolute chaos in their families.  But Doctor Phil has a blind spot in recognizing these people for what they are.  The closest he comes to recognizing them is to call them “right fighters”    And then misplaces blame to others in the family by stating “you deserve each other.”   The chaos created by these people is 100% the fault of the person with NPD.   Families will say things in response because they don’t understand what they are dealing with and still want to believe they are dealing with a normal person.  For the most part, any improper actions or statements by other family members are a reaction to a difficult situation. But they did not cause this situation. 

 

Using the will as a weapon - This is a tactic I am quite familiar with from a family member with this personality.  This attempt to control people with money is a symptom of the BPD.

 

I doubt that Dr Phil can fix this situation with family counseling. 

 

Allowing Sonja to eavesdrop on the conversation between the sisters was wrong.  It was a betrayal of trust to the daughter.   Under normal conditions, it would be illegal.  For a person with NPD (Sonja)  it will produce no understanding and only provide more issues and statements to use against the out-of-favor family member. 

 

 
April 14, 2008, 8:37 am CDT

04/14 The Dr. Phil House: House of Greed

Quote From: shadycat1

 Okay, after re reading the blurb, was it Mom and one of the daughter's who bought the land together ?  Is that maybe why the one inherits all the land ?

No, the mother and daughter own the land jointly. 

 

The legal remedy for this situation would be for the daughter to petition the court to partition the land.

 

Doing business with a friend or family member can be a minefield, especially when there is a disfunctional person like Sonja involved.  

 

 

 

 

 
April 14, 2008, 8:47 am CDT

Tragic greed

   I have just watched the DR Phil show House of Greed, it wasn't something I had planned to do, it wasn't something I usually do (although my husband and I do occasionally) and I registered to specificlly post this message. I read some of the other postings and surprized that most of those mention the will, and money!! I  don't bellieve that money or the will or the choice of what to do with belongings has any thing to do with this family's conflict at all! No more than a physical fence. 

   It is all about the fence the mother put between her and her oldest child when or maybe before the youngest daughter was born. What happened to this mother to make her so heartless and unloving? She has passed it on to her children and can't see it. They cried for thier own hurt feelings, but little tears were shed over the pain of the others. The beautiful granddaughter arrived and not one of the family greeted or comforted her, not even her own mother.

 
April 14, 2008, 8:57 am CDT

World's most miss quoted quote

Everyone leaves out the first three words of one of today's quotes it's "THE LOVE OF money is the root of all evil". Those three little words seem to make all the difference to me, atleast.. If more folks heard it may keep "loved ones" perspective in focus.  Just wanted to adress a pet peeve. Thank you. I'll catch the show this afternoon.

Thanks

Steve

 
April 14, 2008, 9:11 am CDT

That woman should be ashamed of herself!

If I was the older daughter, I would cut all ties w/ my evil manipulative mother and move! It's just not worth the energy! The mother IS not gonna change at this point. She's made her mind up and she's sticking to it! That woman made me sick to my stomach. I don't even believe she even LOVES her daughter. And, for the granddaughter, bless her heart. People can sense/ feel

 when they ARE not wanted. It's really sad :(

 
April 14, 2008, 9:18 am CDT

ITA!

Quote From: gwarrior6

 

The woman (Sonja?) should know that telling your kids about who gets what after she dies is probably a BAD idea.  It sounds almost like a mind game to manipulate her kids to do what she wants them to or to pit her kids against each other....maybe she likes the drama, IDK, boredom can be a motivator.   She could say, "If you don't do A, youre out of the will!".  And parents know their kids pretty well, so she knows what's going to happen next.  My dad's mom was just like that, it smells of "do as I say and you'll profit".  If that's the case, then it seems like the only way she can get a power-trip instead of enjoying her remaining years in peace.

 

I wouldn't let any of them cook for me, if I were her....LOL! 

ITA!

w/ everything u said

:)

 

(and, the cooking statement?,,,,,,,""""""""""snickering"""""""""")

 
April 14, 2008, 9:24 am CDT

I'm glad she isn't my mother, either!

Quote From: lm1969

Can you believe this family? I am shocked at how Sonya talks to and about her older daughter! She should be embarrassed that she is sooo shallow. I am glad she isn't my mother!

That favorite daughter of hers would be getting that Will Crap, sooner than later!

 

lol

J/K!

 
April 14, 2008, 9:56 am CDT

Something to think about?

After watching Dr Phil Today I could not help but feel so sad for this family and people that allow greed to control their thoughts words and actions. During the programme I was sitting beside my mum feeding her. My Mother is 85 she has late stage Parkinson disease and Alzheimer disease. I care for her in my home. The truth is people live longer if they have money much of it will go for health care before they die. Greed in the family prevents proper communication to ensure proper care and decisions in protecting money for anyone in the family. Chances are the youngest daughter will be the one faced with the care of her Mother as she ages. Consequently, everybody wants their say about who gets what and what is fair or unfair. When it comes to volunteering time and willingness to assist with care of their parents everybody has their own life to consider about. Nobody knows the future. I thank God my parents saved their money to pay for (Assisted Living and a Nursing Home when my Dad was alive ). My Father and Mother became less able to care for themselves at the same time. Nursing homes are getting overcrowded .Most have trouble finding enough staff I chose to care for my Mom at home to ensure she was well cared for. Reality is people live longer after living a full life we all deserve to die with respect and dignity and good care. Greed is truly such a waist of time especially when all is said and done their may be nothing left anyway. Nothing but broken heart Guilt loss and resentments . Walking my parents home to God has given me an opportunity to be a more positive example for my sons as well as piece of mind knowing I did the best I could. Most of all I have experienced the deepest form of love I believe God puts us on this earth to learn. I feel sad for those unwilling to open their hearts and minds to the reality that it is their parents money, and it is their to use for them .I would give anything to just have my Mom say my name, even if she was mad at me. This is mothers and daughters that still have time together. I would pay anything just to have my Mom able to move or speak. I feel blessed when she smiles. Think about this and don't waste any more time fighting and hurting each other.
 
April 14, 2008, 11:03 am CDT

From the previews

From the previews that I have seen on tv so far the whole family seems shallow. Greedy too al wanting the money. Money isn't everything you can't take it with you when you go.
 
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