Quote From: goldiloxI can kind of relate to today's show in a way. I don't think Sonja's way of handling the situation is right but I also believe that all the older daughter is interested in is the the mom's money. I mean really? Why would you even want to talk about your mom's will before she's dead? It's like your sitting and waiting to see how much you'll get.......that's sad. I want my parents to live forever and don't even want to think about their will. If I'm having to think about their will, then that means they're not here!!! HELLLLOOOO! I've had this same conversation with my sister in law, (my brother's wife) keep in mind, she married into my family. She has been to my parents home before and said right in front of me, my brother and my parents that she wanted this or that left to her in their will. It was antique furniture or something of that nature that she had always admired. It was all I could do not to slap the dust out of her right then and there. How dare she even entertain the thought of my parents being dead and what she's going to get. That thought had never entered my mind!! Now my brother is starting to act just like his wife. I love them both to death but I won't hear talk about a will or anything else that has to do with 'after my parents are dead'. What they have is theirs (my parents) and they need to live life to the fullest while they're here and not care what they are going to leave anyone. My brother even gets mad if my dad sells a piece of land! Because in his mind, that's less he'll be getting one day when they're dead. OMG! I told my mom and dad to sell it all and live it up and never worry about leaving me anything because they owe me nothing. If anything, I'll owe them the rest of my life and could never repay them. I can see the same thing happening to my family. My dad is a stubborn person that is always right and does things his way, and I got a feeling he would do the same thing to my brother that Sonja did to Lisa. Honestly, I think Lisa is alot like my brother, (and his wife) she can't stop talking about 'the will", I know Dr. Phil mentioned how much they talked about 'the fence' but 'the fence' wouldn't be there if it weren't for 'the will'. It doesn't sound like Lisa is interested in her relationship with her mom nor her sister, it's all about what she's going to get in 'the will'. Lisa made the statement that she wants what she's entitled to. Guess what? She's not entitled to a dang thing! That's just it, she's so greedy she can't see past her nose. That's her mom's money, land etc. and it's completely up to her what she does with it. That might be wrong on the mom's part but it's her money and her choice. Not Lisa's. The younger sister seemed to have the most sense of any of them and she's a teenager for crying out loud! What does that say about the family??? Did they ever say who mentioned the will first? I don't remember hearing how it all got started. I remember hearing listen mention buying land in conjunction w/her mom but I never knew if the mom or Lisa mentioned 'the will' first. If someone knows, please let me know. Thanks!
It was actually Sonja that kept mentioning "the will" and I think every time she says "I'm not leaving anything to you your sister is getting it all" it's the mothers way of saying "your sister is the favorite, she's loved more, she's better than you and we're cutting you from the family" I think the will is used as a symbol of this mother cutting her oldest daught from her life. I think this mother had a lot of issues and when her daughter was talking about how she created a rift between her and her 1/2 sister was very telling. The daughter (is her name Lisa?) she had commented that her mother didn't want her at the hospital when her 1/2 sister was born and that she was hurt. and the mother Sonja off camera said "well she never even called to say she was coming what did she think we were going to do?" and I thought "what the hell?" If I went to the hospital to see someones new baby I don't think I'd be calling first I'd be going during visiting hours when visitors are expected & I'd think that WHOEVER I'm going to see would be excited about their new baby and to share that with me". Sonja said her daughter showed up unannounced and "What did she thing we were going to do?" I'm sorry but it just seemed out there and unreasonable. I think these were things that caused pain long ago and it sounded like the daughter had tried to let the things go even though they *hurt her*. Forgiving a loved one is easy but forgetting is a different thing and I think the example of the hospital is an example of what Lisa is trying to say about the mother driving a wedge between her & her sister.
That said I think Lisa has allowed the pain caused by her mother to in a lot of ways take it out on her sister. It really isn't her sisters fault that her mother does the things she's done. Even if she has been spoiled then that's just the way she was raised. If her mother had a preference of her younger daughter or showed favortism of the younger daughter and that caused her older daughter pain that is still not her 1/2 sisters fault. Calling her sister a "spoiled brat' etc. is just going to create more hard feelings. And frankly as much as the younger daughter has been "spoiled" if she had been her mother has denied this younger daughter a close relationship with her older sistr because of the frictions she creates between them. While Lisa is a daughter too she's certainly no child!!!! I think at this point she should be able to figure this part out and in some ways it's something she and her 1/2 sister have in common and that is the dysfunction their mother has created in both of their lives! This young woman has no control over her mother and what her mother does. That she names the younger daughter the sole person in her will is something meant to hurt her older daughter but the younger daughter can't make her stop that.
I think the point of the grand daughter being hurt by not being named in the will is another misunderstood point. The girl said she didn't care what is left to her but that she wanted something from her grand mother. Again I think the being named in a will is something that's been made a symbol of "I love you & you're accepted" by the grand mother and so even the grand daughter is looking for something that says I love you by grandma. I DO understand this and the idea of something specific from a person that has personal meaning. I personally have a "thing for clocks" and my mother has a clock that belonged to my father who is passed and so I'd never just say to her "I want daddy's clock" but as something to remember him by that is something that would have special meaning to me. It's not the monetary gain.
The original idea of "I'm bequething all my worldly goods to _______________ because they were such a wonderful person and good to me" has gotten confused by people greedy for the out come of "all those worldly goods". And so when the person is there waiting to hear "because you meant so much to me" as the reason their in the will and they hear instead "I'm cutting you from my will" it's a symbol of "you're don't mean anything to me." It's like a cutting from ones life.
The land that belongs to the mother? I thought they purchased the land together and that was the original reason for the arguement because they needed to divide the lot and the mother put up the huge fence without any entrance even for emergency vehicles if they're needed.
The thing I didn't understand from the daugher Lisa is her vandalizing her mothers house with TP and flour and such. that was out there I thought, but then I don't think that emotional intellect is something that was demonstrated for Lisa during her life. She is after all her mothers daughter. :) they say it's those that are the same that don't get along. :)
You've heard the sayings, "Money can't buy happiness," and "Money is the root of all evil," and the newest family to move into The Dr. Phil House lives up to both of these adages! They’re engaged in a vicious war of finger-pointing and accusations over money, land and Mom's will. One daughter is slated to inherit everything while the other won’t get one red cent. How did a piece of land two family members purchased together become a royal battle ground? Family therapist Dr. Tara Fields, brings this family face to face for an emotional encounter. But will they participate? When sisters Lisa and Sara face off, who calls whom lazy and worthless, and will the siblings decide to put their grievances aside? Then, Dr. Phil makes a house call. Why is he fed up with this family? And, when Sonja's granddaughter makes a surprise visit with an emotional plea, you won't believe how Sonja responds. Can Dr. Phil get this family to focus on reuniting instead of dividing their land? Talk about the show here.
