Topic : 04/14 The Dr. Phil House: House of Greed

I haven't seen this yet.  From the promos it is everything I detest about wills.  A will is a private matter.  It should not be discussed among all of the family members.  That is so tacky and manipulative.  If a person does not act in accordance with the purse holder they get no inheritance? 

You can't take your money with you but you leave a legacy.  A legacy is far more important than money.  It is how you changed the world and those you touched.  It is how you treated those that you loved and the things that you taught them.  I hope this mother learns this before she dies. 

An inheritance will be gone in the blink of an eye-  A legacy lives down through the generations.

Doctor Greed House One Of Part Phil. Are you kidding me? This is Doctor House Phil Show. See you on--

Monday April 14th, 2008. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.------------------------------------------------------------

This very thing goes on all the time in families - I have heard it over and over and experienced it in my family. 

When I was a young adult my grandmother passed away.  My grandmother did not really have anything just a Good vacum cleaner and some personal items.  Well the battle was on over that vacum between two Aunts-OH MY GOD a used vacum - well my Aunt who was not my Grandm'a care giver got  the thing, because my other Aunt ( who had been the caregiver) decided it was not worth her self esteem.  And then again when my Mom died, a sister who had never done anything but take money from our parents decided she had squaters rights in Mom's house with the intention of staying in it.  My younger sister and brother in law, who were Mom's caregivers for years,had to call the police to remove her.  Mom had signed over the house to my sister and brother in law years before, knowing that they would be her caregivers.  I felt that they deseved the house - they had to do so much for Mom that they deserved it and more.

The type of feelings that these attitudes over property cause, never seem to go away and the families never seem to mend.  And what for - all we can really expect out of life is three hots and a cot - anything more is gravy. 

My husband and I are setting up a living trust so that our property is divided as we want it to be long before our end.  Our daughters tend to battle among themselves from time to time and we are going to do everything in our power to avoid issues with our estate.

 

Get it right, people.  Money is NOT the root of all evil; the LOVE of  money is the root of all evil.

 

BIG DIFFERENCE!!!!

To me a very important part of the money and root of all evil quote is that it is

THE LOVE of money is the root of all evil. 

It is misquoted all the time but I'm surprised that Dr. Phil's website has made this mistake.

 I spent 5 yrs. in court defending my wealthy "old maid" aunt's will and ultimately won the 3 lawsuits my brothers and mother brought against me.  My millionaire parents,  however,  disinherited me because they were selfish enough to think the will should have been thrown out and everything given to my mother.  (several hundred thousand wasn't enough).  They didn't need the money, nor did my brothers and sister, they just wanted control!  I was the oldest of 4 and my aunt and I had a special bond, unlike any of the others who were much younger and never really got to know me for who I am today.  It is no loss to them to cheat me out of an inheritance and a relationship with my mother now.  Dad died 4 yrs. ago and on his death bed told the pastor he regreted how he had treated me. 
I went to my dad's funeral but the day afterward, my siblings had Mom declared incompetent, took over her estate and won't let me see or talk to her.  She will have some very lonely last years because my sister died 2 yrs. ago.  My brothers care little about her now that they have total control of her assets. 
To the Mother:  think about what you are doing to your daughters emotionally.  They still have a life to live.  You are causing a wedge between your daughters and their families and a generation of hatred over what???  Things (land, jewelry, money)....you can't take any of that with you, can you?  Isn't it more important for the memories you leave behind to be good ones?  Hadn't you rather your daughters to know you and remember you as a kind and loving Mom and tell their kids  what a sweet and generous person you were?  Those are the memories I will leave my children. 
If I can forgive and forget all the pain and loss my family caused me, anyone can do it.  God has given me that ability and I am a different person for it.  I no longer have hatred but the scars are still there.  PLEASE think about what you are doing and  be the kind of parent you were intended to be.   Life now and in the hearafter will be much more wonderful. 

I can relate to your show coming up on Monday! I am in a second marriage, my husband has earned a lot of money over the years, he is now an alzheimer patient in a home. He has 4 children from his first marriage. He is 81 years old, I am 58 years old. Him and I had a great relationship except for his children.

 

After being married to him for a couple years I figured out why there was tension with his children while they came home for their once a year week visit with daddy! They did not want me there! They did everything in their power to destroy our relationship. When he became to ill for me to care for him any more, I placed him in a home. The greed really came out then. Over the years before I came along, he bought all four of his children 2 homes each @ $150,000, any time they needed money they called daddy, he bought all of them new cars when they needed them. The grandchildren also! None of these four children have jobs. I am his wife and I will no longer hand out money! Bank is closed. My husband earned this money and he deserves the best care that can be provided. These children have slammed doors in my face, accused me of things I have not done, extremely rude to me. I have never seen such awful children. I am in charge now!  Now they except me to be kind to them after all they have done to me! I don't think so. I have 2 married children of my own, they all have jobs and never asked me for money. They respect me and my husband!

 

I said to my husband a few times over the years would you please stand up for me? He cannot stand up to his kids, He told me it was just my imagination! All I asked for from his children were respect as a person. I have chosen to control my own life, I am a college student almost to the end of my degree as a therapist, I am not quiting until I earn my degree. The only way I could progress through this situation was to attend therapy every week. I will live my life and continue caring for my husband. Money is the root of all evil and it does not buy health. I know the day he passes on his children will have me in a court room.

You got my attention. I'll be watching Monday.

Dear Doctor Phil, If the mother chooses to give her stuff to one person than than person whose name is on the will is the one who gets it why, should there be a fight? Unless the people who aren't getting anything's hearts are not pure. If their hearts could handle the responsibility the moyher might have split it. However there could be many good reasons why the stuff only went to one person. If te family really loved eachother they wouldn't be fighting over stuff that doesn't matter in the end anyways. That saddens me about families now days people get divorces over a lot of stupid things or stupid things they did and they never think before they do it. Well hopefully this family will see the truth and wake up.

 we all know the phrase, don't get so caught up in the phrasing, that's not the point everyone is trying to make. The point is everyone loves money, there are only a few people in the world who can honestly say they don't care a bit about money. That's why when people get more money they find ways to spend it and need more.  This whole story is silly because no one cares about family anymore, it's all worldl things that occupy our minds and time and effort.  Everybody should work hard their whole lives and then when they can spend it all on whatever they've always dreamed of doing, that way their children learn they won't get it so don't plan for it, & the kids (knowing they wouldn't have mom/dad's stuff to live off of) will have learned to se self-reliant and take care of themselves and there won't be a fight over anything. I know, I see families already, without anyone dead or even near death, discussing who gets what, it's absurd.  I am so thankful my parents were poor and nothing to leave us kids except lots of pictures, we siblings just sat around asking "you want this one?" and we laughed and had a great time reliving old memories of our parents and all the special (or embarrasing) moments of our lives.  I wish everyone could see, yes you can't take it with you, so rather then worry over being fair or fighting over who gets what, just use what you've made with your own two hands and let the next generation do the same.  They will be able to take care of themselves, I promise.