Topic : 04/14 The Dr. Phil House: House of Greed

I have a mother just like Sonja.  As an adult I finally had to come to the realization that my mother just does not and will never love me as I feel a mother should love a child.  After a lot of tears and years of my own mother's style of abuse I am happy to say that I no longer have any contact with her.  I no longer have to receive her hatefulness because I have made a conscience decisiong to be free of her.  It litterally is freeing...Lisa just needs to make a clean break and live and love her own family.  The only thing that I regret about not doing it sooner is that I missed wonderful things that my own children were doing because I was so hurt by things my own mother would do.  Rid yourself of that woman, and work every day to live and fully love your own family in the moment.  Lisa...You can be a better person without that costic woman in your life.  Even as I write this, and I think about the similiarities between Sonja and my own mother it makes me sick for Lisa.  I feel badly for her because I know how badly it hurts, but once you can free yourself of Sonja you will feel so much better. 

I realize that Dr. Phil is a relationship healer, but some relationships aren't worth it, and sometimes it's hard when the relationship that does not need to be fixed, repaired or healed is the one between a mother and a child.  Sonja will end up doing everything she has already done again!!!!

I was thinking the same thing about the NEW family. They didnt elaborate so I couldnt tell how long this has been going on. Other than the mom refused to let her see her baby sister. In which case the youngest daughter seems to be at least 12 or 13? Thats a LONG time.

Youve got it right Lisa is trying to salvage a bond that may have been broken with the new family. The only thing I can say Lisa is guilty of ....  is falling for her mothers tricks.  No matter what age it devistates to be denied from a mothers love. The mother had no valid complaints as to why she despised her daughter.

Look at the message boards no one thinks its about the money, land etc. Its Lisa trying to break down the walls mom is building against her.

it looks like Lisa has been trying to be what her mother wants and try to *earn her love* in doing things and it's just never right and her mother twists stuff.  Is Sarah the name of the younger sister?  And yes I agree that Sarah seems very young and I've known where there have been sisters in their 20's to new borns/toddlers etc.  And that would be the case here if the daughter was visiting mom on her own in the hospital when the girl was born.  So this younger sister is still in a place where she's dependent on mother and maybe there were financial issues and the mother & daughter moved "next door" so they could be supportive of each other etc.  

If Lisa had been trying to gain mothers respect and love for years this would have  seemed like a good way to create a bond.  "I came in to help when you needed it".  It's just gone terribly wrong though huh?  LOL  I really feel for her.  more than likely these girls will never be right.  and the mother will always cast a "bad" light on the older daughter ie. "she's just jealous," or "she had the nerve to" or "she just wants my money when I'm dead".  Sounds horrible when in reality that "will" has been something that's been used all this time to say "You're not family anymore"  and that fence going up was also a "splitting" or a blocking Lisa from their lives.    It's very sad. 

Ithink you have a point, but lets just say, It was Lisa, who just keeped asking for $ and when mommy said no it was thrown in her face that she loves her new family more because, mommy won't give no more money, wouldn't that get old, It seems to me that Lisa needs to grow up, buy thing on her own and stop asking mommy to prove her love with a doller bill.

You would buy a younger child living in your home more then you would a 40 year woman with her own family, for Lisa to think that mommy should treat them the same is childish

If the mother buys the younger child school cloths, should she go and buy a 40 year old some too,

if she buys a car for the younger girl, should she buy the married daughter one too?

you can't treat them the same one looks like she 17 and in HS. and one looks 40 and is married with kids.