Topic : 04/16 Drug Troubles

Hi Dawn,

I completely understand how exhausting the process can be and how brutal/judgmental (and completely unfounded and warped) some of the criticism can be on the message boards.

I am happy to see that your situation with your son has been turned around. It must have been an answer to your prayers to get him at the point where he would take the treatment and turn his life around. "With God all things are possible" and "All things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to his purposes" Romans 8:28

It is quite a risk to open your family, home, and personal lives up to public knowledge and scrutiny. Lots of people have written into the boards with similar problems with their teens. Prayers, hotlines, websites, books, methods of counseling or treatments, etc that have actually worked seem to be what they need.

www.family.org offers 1 free phone counseling session and good solid referrals, for instance. Beauty for Ashes by Joyce Meyers and Breaking Free by Beth Moore are also great resources for families dealing with abuse and addictions, whether past or present. If you have not read Breaking Free, it might be really enlightening, it would give your family the tools to make sure that these issues are truly not passed down to future generations.

Heather (a group of ladies that I work with connect people who are desperate to resources to help them and encourage them, would you be interested in helping others who are experiencing the problems that you had?)

You don't hear form the Alcoholic,saying hey its just alittle alcohol!! leave the kid alone, But we do hear from the pot heads out there tring to justify pot smoking for a 17 year old kid.

( THIS IS YOUR BRAIN, THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS ANY QUESTIONS)

To debate Marijuana should it be or not be legal, is one thing,  But to look over the problems the child had at the time and say it had nothing to do with it, points out that the drug did effect you brains, and it dosn't help your side of the debate.

Should Marijuana be legal, I think yes, but should a child use it NO!!!! and as long as people who smoke way to much of it debate for it, using there effect brains, and their brain damaged ideas, like the pot had nothing to do with this kids problems, it will never pass, and never be legal.

Pot a gateway drug? Are you kidding? Why do alot of drug addicts start out on pot? Do you really think it's a good idea to jump right into crack?  Most people aren't THAT dumb.  Let me just explain my opinion.  I'm not a professional in ANY way, but nothing you can say will make me think any different.

When kids are experimenting at a young age, they are more prone to be doing it to go along with the crowd and fit in.  Add to that possible problems at home that could be affecting the way a child grows emotionally, and could have negative effects on the self-esteem of the user.  Now that person uses a drug which will probably make them feel better.  The young person with the negative self-esteem will continue to use, and also to possibly move on to harder things that may or may not make them feel better.  As a result, school may or may not suffer, usually it does, and all the extreme negative things that could possibly happen, likely will happen.

Those kids who do make it through HS by the grace of God, then may or may not go on to lead underproductive, meaningless lives, it is true that smoking marijuana makes you somewhat lazy, but if you are already prone to laziness, that is when it really has the effects.  Those people who are hard workers, and know when and how to have their fun, can lead VERY successful lives.

I started smoking marijuana at 20, I experimented late, and I think that was a benefit because I have a high IQ (Dr.'s told me that, I'm not bragging), and I knew the side effects of being addicted to drugs, but I also am naturally curious, and I like to find things out by personal experience as well as 'book learnin', and so I moved beyond pot...and do you know what I realized?  My self esteem was too high to even want to do those hard drugs.  They had no appeal for me, as a matter of fact, I was able to realize the negative way the 'uppers' made me feel.  So I stopped.  Now I just smoke weed.  Very often, and the only reason I think I'm gonna quit when I move in 3 months is because I don't like the negative effects smoking has on my lungs.  Every situation is different, and I am sorry your son fell into the web of addiction, if you're worried about burying him at 22, then he must have started experimenting when he was young, and it was YOUR responsibility if he was a minor in your roof to make sure he didn't get caught up in the drug scene.  And I am not trying to be insensitive to what this woman is going through (To those of you who are gonna jump on me for being a horrible person) because let me just say that had I started experimenting whern I was a teen, I'd probably be dead or in need of rehab right now.  I just wasn't "cool" enough to hang with the people who did drugs when I was in school, and I thank God NOW that I was a loser in HS.

I will definitely watch this episode of Dr. Phil since it so closely resembles what I went through and am still going through with my middle son (I have 3 sons...each 2 years apart and now grown).

#2 son did all the things mentioned in the synopsis plus many more.  I am quite sure he did things that I never even knew about.  He has a juvenile record longer than both of my arms and legs and now, since he's an adult, his record is growing by leaps and bounds.  He is currently a guest of the Texas Dept of Criminal Justice (TDCJ) and will be until April 2009.  This visit to TDCJ is the result of domestic abuse of a family member.  He knocked out his girlfriend's 2 front teeth during a fight they were having.  Both of them were drunk and high on marijuana at the time.

He was up for parole last month (March 2008) and I requested an interview with the Parole Board.  I did a telephone interview with the lady in charge of the Parole Board.  The first thing she asked me was if I was advocating or protesting.  I immediately told her that I was protesting!!!  He is a danger to himself and to society and probably always will be.  At age 15 years, he broke my nose when I confronted him with his stash of marijuana.  Then when I picked up the phone to call 911, he grabbed it out of my hand and tried to knock me out with it.  I had to run to escape further injury.

There was a time not long after that when I told him it was time to come in the house since it was getting late.  His temper flared again and he came after me with a knife.  Fortunately, I was able to get into the house and lock the door before he could stab me.

Apparently giving this information to the Parole Board, as his birth mother, and telling them that I was in fear of my life should he be allowed parole carried some weight with them because he was denied parole.  He will now be an inmate until April 2009.  I intend to obtain a permanent restraining order against him prior to that date.  I realize that a piece of paper is not going to stop him so I have taken other measures to protect myself as well.

He was raised the same way as my other 2 sons and they're both "normal" (whatever that means).  He was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 5; however, I did everything I could to help him.  At the age he is now, 28 years old, I can no longer do anything to help him.  Now I just have to let it go and protect myself.

I guess 2 good ones out of 3 is all I can expect...

Hi Dawn,

I completely understand how exhausting the process can be and how brutal/judgmental (and completely unfounded and warped) some of the criticism can be on the message boards.

I am happy to see that your situation with your son has been turned around. It must have been an answer to your prayers to get him at the point where he would take the treatment and turn his life around. "With God all things are possible" and "All things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to his purposes" Romans 8:28

It is quite a risk to open your family, home, and personal lives up to public knowledge and scrutiny. Lots of people have written into the boards with similar problems with their teens. Prayers, hotlines, websites, books, methods of counseling or treatments, etc that have actually worked seem to be what they need.

www.family.org offers 1 free phone counseling session and good solid referrals, for instance. Beauty for Ashes by Joyce Meyers and Breaking Free by Beth Moore are also great resources for families dealing with abuse and addictions, whether past or present. If you have not read Breaking Free, it might be really enlightening, it would give your family the tools to make sure that these issues are truly not passed down to future generations.

Heather (a group of ladies that I work with connect people who are desperate to resources to help them and encourage them, would you be interested in helping others who are experiencing the problems that you had?)

When I watched this show I was doing other things and was just kind of listening along and it was amazing how this sounded like my life.  So, I sat down and watched the whole episode and other then the parents allowing Bradley to drink in the home and the father and he physically fighting, this could have been my story to a T.  I have a teenage son who is getting ready to turn 17 and is struggling with the use of marijuana.  He was a straight A student and he and I had such a close and loving relationship until about a year ago when he started "experimenting".  I get the same answer from him that this boy gave.  He says "everybody" does it and he can quit anytime.  He just likes the way it relaxes him.  He feels like treatment for marijuana is stupid.  His grades have fallen and his whole attitude has changed.  I feel for Bradley's parents, like them I am far from perfect and truly don't know any parent that is.  I feel like my husband and I have absolutely done everything we could for our son and raised him in a loving home.  But sometimes when kids grow up they start to make more decisions on their own and unfortunately the decisions that they make aren't always the right ones.  This show has really opened my eyes to some hard decisions that I have to make concerning my son.  I just want my son back and I feel like I have just completely lost him sometimes.  To Bradley's parents:  If you have any suggestions or advice for me, I am open to listening.  I feel like I am so alone in this sometimes and it is so hard knowing if I, as a parent, am making the right decisions when it comes to my son.