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Topic : 04/17 "You're a Liar!"

Number of Replies: 109
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Created on : Friday, April 11, 2008, 08:22:29 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Everyone has fibbed at one time in their life, but what happens when those white lies turn into dark deceptions? Parents and siblings face off with loved ones to say, "You're a liar, and we're sick of it!" Annie says her younger sister, Abby, lies so much that no one in their family believes a word she says. They say she has lied about doing drugs, stripping for a living and being the victim of parental abuse. When Dr. Phil surprises Abby with a drug test, will she pass it? Then, Abby says her sister and parents are the ones telling untruths. When she accuses her father of abusing her as a child, what does he have to say? And, why does Abby say she's always felt unwanted? Then, Mary Ann says her 28-year-old son, Jon, has been a chronic liar since he was a child. She says he fabricates everything from grades to money, and his irresponsible ways have put her and her husband in financial ruin. What's Jon's reason for not telling the truth? And, see what happens when he gets a surprise visit onstage from his brother! Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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April 17, 2008, 8:57 am CDT

REPORT HARASSMENT AND ABUSE BY LAW-ENFORCEMENT

 While most officers are hardworking professionals, far too many are downright abusive. Knowing your rights is an important first line of defense against harassment and abuse by law-enforcement. As an advocate for civil rights and police accountability, it is quite disturbing to know that such gross misconduct still comes easily to some officers. To protect yourself and your constitutional rights, it is very important to know your rights and make smart choices in tough situations. Some of my favorite resources dealing with harassment and abuse by law-enforcement:

 


Submit a Law Enforcement Abuse Complaint Form:

www.policeabuse.com


Just Say "NO" to Police Searches:

www.FlexYourRights.org


Justice and Science: Trials and Triumphs of DNA Evidence by George Woody Clarke


DNA Test Kits: www.dnatesting.com

 


The Police Complaint Center documents and investigates alleged incidents of police abuse.  The staff consists of students, researchers, attorneys, former police officers and licensed private investigators.  The organization believes that many police organizations have done a poor job of protecting the public from abusive officers. Their primary service is assisting victims of police misconduct with reporting complaints to appropriate enforcement agencies.  They also investigate police and sheriffs deputies that are accused of abusive behaviors.

 

Hope it helps!


 

 
April 17, 2008, 9:04 am CDT

and that's the truth...

Quote From: blondieagn

Dr. Phil, maybe you never had to live with a habitual liar but I have and you do get "cold" about it.  It just gets old and you get tired of hearing the same excuses.  I think this family feels like that.  When they are not lying, they are exaggerating.   It is sad and you do get immune to their theatrics!  Watching this girl crying reminded me of my sister and how she could really cry when she was confronted with her lies.  Good luck to this family but the best action is to let her go and if you get a call in the middle of the night, you know you did your best but there is no hope for a habitual liar.   My sister died alone with her 3 boys (all illegitimate) scattered among family.   I see this girls future written unless she gets a wake-up call.  Coddling a liar does not help them.  Thanks

I understand what you're saying. It's tiresome and wearing to deal with the constant stress and disappointment of a liar. You eventually do have to turn your back out of self-defense.

 

 

 
April 17, 2008, 9:06 am CDT

04/17 "You're a Liar!"

Quote From: princessgina

I got a brother who is a liar and has been his whole life. No one believes anything he says now. These people who lie need to undertsand that if you lie people will stop listening to you. Then when the rare time comes when you do tell the truth no one will believe you.
I think everyone has heard the story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf"............this is a prime example.
 
April 17, 2008, 9:18 am CDT

blackmail?

I have to wonder whether this girl in NY that Jon is sending money to has something on him.....he seems absolutely desperate to send her money at any cost to himself or his parents...so, you have to question why. And the fact that he refused to explain why he's sending her money makes it even more likely. He probably ran a con on her and she's threatening to turn him over to the police if he doesn't pay her back for money he stole from her......

 

I truly hope these parents are going to finally close the bank so Jon can learn how to become a real man and pay his own darn bills!!

 

When you enable your grown children like that, you are crippling them; not helping them....and remember..teaching them to become self-sufficient starts when they are little!

 
April 17, 2008, 9:27 am CDT

Yup

Quote From: cndrlla

I think everyone has heard the story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf"............this is a prime example.
Yup we all got read that story at some point in our lives. We have even read this story to our daughter and she knows why it's important to tell the truth. Sometimes the truth can be painful but truth is always better.
 
April 17, 2008, 9:27 am CDT

WITHOUT CONSCIENCE - RECOGNIZING THE REMORSELESS

How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them.  They’re more spontaneous, more intense, more complex or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced.  Some of my favorite books that provide a great introduction and insight are: 

 


Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward AND Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss


Treating Personality Disorders in Children and Adolescents:  A Relational Approach by Efrain Bleiberg OR The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout OR Without Conscience:  The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us by Robert Hare


What Parents Need to Know About Sibling Abuse: Breaking the Cycle of Violence by Vernon Wiehe OR Understanding Family Violence: Treating and Preventing Partner, Child, Sibling and Elder Abuse by Vernon Wiehe


How to Journal for Therapy:

http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm 


Healing Anxiety and Depression (7 types of anxiety and depression) by Daniel Amen and Lisa Routh OR Getting Help:  The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Self-Assessment and Treatment of Mental Health Problems by Jeffrey Wood


 

Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show fake emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others’ suffering.  They live to dominate and thrive for the thrill to win.  We all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already.

 

Hope it helps! 

 

 

 
April 17, 2008, 9:30 am CDT

Tough Love....

Quote From: shenlunch

 I have a 27 year old son, he's married, father of two and luckily he works full time. He lies to everyone, except his kids! I love him to death, but he is tearing my heart out with the lies.

 

Nine years ago he was in a serious car accident and I have always believed that, that was when the problem started. He and his wife owe us thousands of dollars. I know we will never see it. My husband on the other hand, hopes that we will get it back. Every month we are told, "after the checks clear", "when I get my money from bowling" etc.  they have now taken money from another family member who needs it.

 

The big problem that I see is that they don't realize that they are doing it. The word come out so easily and they can look you right in the eye and you will believe them, but deep down I know that they are lying.

 

I love these two with all my heart, will do anything for them. But they are causing such heartache.

As long as you and your husband continue to enable and support your son and daughter-in-law they will continue to hold their hand out....why not? It's working for them!! and YES, they DO realize what they're doing......do you think they black out while you're handing them money and then suddenly come to wondering how that money got into their hands?

 

And please don't allow them to use their children as a tool for extorting money from you......if you shut down the bank, your son and his wife WILL find a way to survive on their own and it's the biggest favor you can do for them, and the best way to show that you love them.

 

The greatest gift we can give our children is the gift of independence! 

 

Stop being fools.

 
April 17, 2008, 10:21 am CDT

Liars

I think the subject of this show should have been Child Abuse, rather than Liars.  I think it's outrageous that her father got away with beating that girl, and I hope Dr. Phil will speak out in the future about parents who beat their children and attempt to minimize the abuse by calling it "spanking."  

 

Spanking consists of an occasional swat on the bottom, not hitting hard enough to leave marks or with the use of sticks, canes, etc. 

 
April 17, 2008, 11:08 am CDT

04/17 "You're a Liar!"

Its interesting how a nonrelated person can lie about someone else in America and find them self in a hefty civil lawsuit because of slander and WIN a settlement whereas if someone lies about a relative its just ok and they should just accept it.  Is it wrong to lie or not?  Should it be corrected or not when the lies hurt or damage someone else?  Thats the road Abby's on.
 
April 17, 2008, 11:32 am CDT

04/17 "You're a Liar!"

Quote From: fdering1935

I think the subject of this show should have been Child Abuse, rather than Liars.  I think it's outrageous that her father got away with beating that girl, and I hope Dr. Phil will speak out in the future about parents who beat their children and attempt to minimize the abuse by calling it "spanking."  

 

Spanking consists of an occasional swat on the bottom, not hitting hard enough to leave marks or with the use of sticks, canes, etc. 

The purpose of spanking is to teach right from wrong.  It is to associate a little pain with negative behavior.  I disagree that this Dad abused his daughter.  HELLO thats what this show is all about her lies vs. her parents and sisters side of the story.  I think it would benefit you to do some reading on the subject. of spanking.  As previously mentioned I do not think spanking is effective with teenagers, but other discipline methods. 

 

I think our society is EXTREMELY CONFUSED and on OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE SPECTRUM on the subject of child discipline.  And I think there is both success and failure using all discipline methods for whatever reason.

 

I think our society is also HYPOCRITICAL in that some parts of the US who frown on spanking and say: "Darling, Sweetheart I am going to put you in time out for 10 minutes for playing in the gun cabinet baby doll."  Which in my opinion ENCOURAGES them to do it again....  Whereas the whole purpose of discipline of any kind should be to GET THE NEGATIVE BEHAVIOR OUT OF YOUR CHILD'S HABITS because it is hurting them and their future....  Whereas if they associate this SWEET VOICE with misbehavior and then get in trouble with the LAW for something and thrown in DH or Jail they are cussed at, and beat up by other prisoners as the prison guard looks away.... and the same person who criticizes spanking is glad they are being paid back in jail....?????  How do ya figure???  In my city I would say parents are 50-50 on the subject and some use both...  I personally think Name calling is a worse form of discipline because it wrecks how a child feels about themself and damages their self esteem.

 

Oh the challenges of parenting today and raising good kids...

 
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