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Topic : 04/24 A Boy in Trouble

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Created on : Friday, April 18, 2008, 03:25:01 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
What if you found out that your own child was molesting other children? Sherie-Lynn says her 12-year-old son, Parker, has been acting out sexually since he was 4 years old. She always suspected that he had been molested, and now that he’s been expelled from school for violent behavior and inappropriate sexual conduct with another student, she’s confronting her family’s dirty secret. Could Sherie-Lynn’s father, Al, whom she claims molested her as a child, have violated her son? And what does Sherie-Lynn’s mother, Elaine, say she witnessed? As Sherie-Lynn faces her painful past, will her father give her the answers she’s looking for? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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April 21, 2008, 10:39 pm CDT

i can't imagine

 Without a doubt this has to be one of the most difficult ordeals for a parent.  The mother probably blames herself  for not protecting her child and she may responsible for his harming other children.

I know firsthand the longterm effects of childhood sexual abuse. I have done everything I could think of to protect my children.  They are never pressured to kiss or hug adults.  They have rarely spent a night away from me and I have not allowed them to spend many nights away from me.

My heart goes out to the parents of this young boy.  They will need patience and wisdom to help them get through this trying time.  They will also need the ability to discern between their emotions and what  they must do to help their son heal.  He has been a victim and he needs help understanding that what happened  was not his fault and he did not cause what happened. He needs to know that what happened to him was wrong.  He needs to see his perpetrator punished.  He will have to face consequences for his action as well.

This subject causes a lot of emotion because of just how outrageous it is.  Any decent human being feels that children are to be loved and protected when we hear that they are being exploited it causes rational people to think of barbaric ways t seek "justice"

I pray the young boy is able to find peace and heals from his hurtful past so that he does not continue on the path that he has been started.  I hope that other parents watch this show and learn signs that will help them notice if their own children are being hurt.

 
April 22, 2008, 12:21 am CDT

answer to your question

Quote From: usa_2425

Hi Sherie Lynn,

I am not hear to judge you or your family. I that is good that you are confronting your family's dirty secret. I have one qestion for you. If your father molest you as a young child why would you want your son around him ?

Thank you for your kind response and question.  As I previously mentioned in my first post, I had no recollection of my own abuse until 6 years ago.......at which time I cut the ties with my father.  Neither myself or my son have any relationship or communication with my father and I certainly do not want my child around him.

 

SL

 
April 22, 2008, 1:16 am CDT

Have you walked a mile in their shoes?!?!

Quote From: PennyLane78

The women who let these men do this ARE monsters themselves. I totally agree that these "mothers" should go to jail too.
   When I began to writing this I never intended for it to be so long winded. I guess I felt as though it was important for me to make these points. I am somewhat of an expert on the subject because i am a victim & a survivor. It is a topic that I feel very strongly about. I am happy that finally sexual abuse is a more frequently discussed topic and people will be informed & believe how wide spread it is. I hope that at least one person reads this and takes something with them. There are several things I have touched on i felt were important for people to know or help them to understand. It may be long but maybe it help someone. I pray so.

 Let me first say kudos for Dr. Phil & others for
approaching  a topic that for centuries was taboo. Sexual abuse of our children has been going on since the beginning of time. A dirty secret that was just that A SECRET! And it is still a very big secret. Not only is it a secret but a very shameful secret of everyone involved.
    Those of you who feel the need to call these moms monsters do not have the slightest clue to make these cruel accusations!! I say this because i DO have some clue. I am that survivor or victim depending on the day. I was in second grade the first time my uncle decided to show his favorite niece just how much he loved her. There were a handful of times after that. Honestly the actual act itself was not nearly as emotionally painful as the other events that came with it. Such as my uncle bragging to his best friend what had happened the previous night. His friend thought it was so great that he pinned me to the bed insisting that I admit it, while horrified I adamantly denied his claims until I surrendered. all the while my uncle sat there laughing.  How about when 10 years later  I confessed to my brother. It wasn't even so much that he didn't believe me, but he brought my uncle to a place where I hung out with all my friends and screamed as loud as he could " You are a lying bitch & he never F*@#ed you!!!" while my uncle smiled.
    I told no one for a very long time. Ask me WHY!! I have no simple answers. To begin with I loved my uncle very much. My mother & I were very close so it wasn't that I couldn't bring myself to tell her. I knew without a doubt she would of have killed him. I told her when I was 13 after my best friend told me she could not spend the night because her mom was sending to her sister's since she walked in on her husband having sex with my best friend. HYSTERICAL I called my mom at work and told her everything. Did we call the authorities? NO. It was my choice not to because I did not want my grandma to know. What if she didn't believe me?? I DID NOT want my father to know. Same reason as before but the biggest reason i did not tell my Dad what his brother did to me was to protect my mom. My Dad was very bitter that my Mom divorced him & for YEARS it was totally impossible for my Dad to have a conversation with me without critically criticizing my Mom. So there was no doubt in my mind that he would blame my Mom, if he believed me at all. I told my Dad when I was 27 years old. Yes, he believed me but couldn't understand WHY I waited so long. It was a very healing conversation for both us. Were there signs to be recognized? From my own recollection I don't believe there was anything that would of slapped one in the face. Although it wasn't my father that hurt me that way, I never trusted him after I was molested. Just a hug from my Dad made me tense up. It made it hard for me to differentiate affection  & sexual affection from any adult man.
  As for my friend- her mom was that monster! In her initial shock she had called the police. Then later told my friend to drop the charges because if her father went to jail they would have to move to the ghetto & go to a very dangerous school. So my friend did not press any charges. Come to find out he had molested her older sister also. Years later my best friend's daughter was friends with a little girl across the street. Her father did assault this child & this time he was convicted. He was only given probation. Do I think that her Mom was a monster? HELL YES!!!  I can say this because I knew her parents & the details. After walking in on the actual act in progress there could be no DOUBT OR DENIAL in her mind. Especially once it was known that it happened to the oldest daughter. She was a MONSTER!! OK, so what about the older sister, She was an adult when this took place, isn't she also a monster for not protecting her sister from not only her father but her mother as well?? I don't know her reasons or the torment she wakes with every morning. Therefore I could not  make a judgment with a clear conscience. I have not walked a mile in her shoes.
    Unless you have been personally smack dab in the middle of a similar situation DO NOT be so quick to judge these people & their actions. There is SO MUCH MORE to core of the problem that unless you have actually lived through it personally, you CAN NOT truly know all that is involved. It is just not that simple!!!!!
    For you "know-it-alls", don't be so naive to think that  just because you have  "talked"  with your  kids about  inappropriate  touching that  it  protects  them or  if  it did happen  they  would  run straight to  you or  the police.  SORRY! it  doesn't  work that  way!!!  1.Most children  know or have a sense of what is  inappropriate touching.  And  have a sense  of shame when  touched in their  no-no  spots.  Kids don't play doctor with one another in the living room in front of family and friends. no, that exploration is done in private. 2. To protect your children you need to have an understanding that MOST of the time it is a family member that the child loves or a close family friend. Lets say it is the father. The child loves her father and would be hesitant to get her father in trouble. Nor does she want her father or her mom to be mad at her. I would imagine that it would be very difficult for a woman to believe that the man she loved & married would be capable of such a horrific act. The majority of predators don't behave like undesirable heathens. They are everyday folks in your everyday life. Children for the most part are by nature people pleaser's. They would rather keep their huge secret than to be disbelieved or create turmoil in their families. They feel, or at least I did, it is their burden to bare for the sake of the ones they love. Plus you have to consider what their predator has told them: " I won't love you anymore" or "if your mom found out she won't love you". To such extremes as " I will kill you, your family, your pet". The best thing you can do is KNOW your child. If for some reason your child starts behaving differently in the presence of an individual. Such as reluctant to be alone with this person when before they were eager to be with them. Avoids having physical contact with that person when in the past they sought  physical contact. The behaviors maybe very subtle.3. Most victims of sexual abuse come from broken homes or parents that are emotionally absent. Children that don't think much of them selves and crave the attention of an adult. Most predators pick the kids that are attention starved. First they welcome the attention of an adult that seems to take a true interest them. these children are slowly seduced. Children that spend good quality time with their folks have no need to seek adult attention else where. Predators know that an emotionally secure child is not going to welcome the intense interest of a creepy adult. Plus they are more likely to tell. Take a very active interest in knowing your child. 4. BEWARE OF ADULTS that want to spend a lot of unnecessary time with your kid, whether that be your a teacher, pastor, family friend, the guy next door, especially if they don't have kids of their own. If they are going up and beyond for your child be wary. Of course a lot of these people are not predators, but a lot are. All I'm trying to say is PAY ATTENTION!!!! Don't be so grateful you have this help you so dearly needed that you get complacent. Keep watch.4. I felt very ashamed and embarrassed about what happened to me.As a child It is hard to tell anyone no matter how close you feel to a person. Even when you know it is wrong and it wasn't your fault. Sadly shame is the only word I can think of to describe how I felt as a child because the word shame does not even begin to explain how truly horrible it made me feel. It was hard enough admitting to myself much less to another.There is another aspect of this, although I have heard it mentioned, it is rarely discussed in an open forum. Children are humans that do feel sexual pleasure. It is hard for me to admit that I did feel pleasure. There were times when I was feeling the need for attention that I would seek out my uncle. And with that said, it only increased my feelings of shame and made me feel ..... I can't even put into words. I guess thats why we feel we are to blame and responsible for the acts that were done to us. Even though we know that it was not our fault. I guess knowing something and feeling it can be two different things especially when you are a child.
     I could go on about all the aspects of my life that this man warped. They are wide and far spreading. But I did not write this for my own therapeutic reasons. I just want others to be more supportive of the families that are going through this horrific journey. It's easy to sit on one's pedestal and scrutinize the actions of another. It is not fair to judge how a person handles a crisis like this without ever having lived through it yourself, much less not having any details of that particular case. Because you have no understanding of what hell they are enduring.
     May I suggest that you should take that venom you are spewing to your legislator so they will toughen the laws on pedophiles. No more slaps on the wrist!!!! I believe the laws should be just as tough on pedophiles and rapist as it is on murder. Make laws that hold the mother responsible if she refuses to take action after seeing undeniable truth. Such as my friends  mom when she saw it with her own two eyes. It is a hard situation. I know that there are men that are falsely accused and convicted because of bitter vengeful women and confused hurt girls. And the ones who make false allegations do not have an inkling of how much harder they have made it for those of us that are victims.
    
Thanks to Dr. Phil & Oprah for continuing to tell these stories on a regular basis. By doing this they are educating the public to how widespread sexual abuse is in our society, no longer can it be ignored!! Also educating people to the signs and how to prevent it. Thank you to all of you brave enough to share your stories. I KNOW their stories are very difficult to tell. I have a story of my own. And all though I share it, it is only a general account of what took place, Not the detailed description of events. even after 30 years I remember the smallest of details like it  only happened a moment ago!

 
April 22, 2008, 2:57 pm CDT

04/24 A Boy in Trouble

Quote From: kryzty

   When I began to writing this I never intended for it to be so long winded. I guess I felt as though it was important for me to make these points. I am somewhat of an expert on the subject because i am a victim & a survivor. It is a topic that I feel very strongly about. I am happy that finally sexual abuse is a more frequently discussed topic and people will be informed & believe how wide spread it is. I hope that at least one person reads this and takes something with them. There are several things I have touched on i felt were important for people to know or help them to understand. It may be long but maybe it help someone. I pray so.

 Let me first say kudos for Dr. Phil & others for
approaching  a topic that for centuries was taboo. Sexual abuse of our children has been going on since the beginning of time. A dirty secret that was just that A SECRET! And it is still a very big secret. Not only is it a secret but a very shameful secret of everyone involved.
    Those of you who feel the need to call these moms monsters do not have the slightest clue to make these cruel accusations!! I say this because i DO have some clue. I am that survivor or victim depending on the day. I was in second grade the first time my uncle decided to show his favorite niece just how much he loved her. There were a handful of times after that. Honestly the actual act itself was not nearly as emotionally painful as the other events that came with it. Such as my uncle bragging to his best friend what had happened the previous night. His friend thought it was so great that he pinned me to the bed insisting that I admit it, while horrified I adamantly denied his claims until I surrendered. all the while my uncle sat there laughing.  How about when 10 years later  I confessed to my brother. It wasn't even so much that he didn't believe me, but he brought my uncle to a place where I hung out with all my friends and screamed as loud as he could " You are a lying bitch & he never F*@#ed you!!!" while my uncle smiled.
    I told no one for a very long time. Ask me WHY!! I have no simple answers. To begin with I loved my uncle very much. My mother & I were very close so it wasn't that I couldn't bring myself to tell her. I knew without a doubt she would of have killed him. I told her when I was 13 after my best friend told me she could not spend the night because her mom was sending to her sister's since she walked in on her husband having sex with my best friend. HYSTERICAL I called my mom at work and told her everything. Did we call the authorities? NO. It was my choice not to because I did not want my grandma to know. What if she didn't believe me?? I DID NOT want my father to know. Same reason as before but the biggest reason i did not tell my Dad what his brother did to me was to protect my mom. My Dad was very bitter that my Mom divorced him & for YEARS it was totally impossible for my Dad to have a conversation with me without critically criticizing my Mom. So there was no doubt in my mind that he would blame my Mom, if he believed me at all. I told my Dad when I was 27 years old. Yes, he believed me but couldn't understand WHY I waited so long. It was a very healing conversation for both us. Were there signs to be recognized? From my own recollection I don't believe there was anything that would of slapped one in the face. Although it wasn't my father that hurt me that way, I never trusted him after I was molested. Just a hug from my Dad made me tense up. It made it hard for me to differentiate affection  & sexual affection from any adult man.
  As for my friend- her mom was that monster! In her initial shock she had called the police. Then later told my friend to drop the charges because if her father went to jail they would have to move to the ghetto & go to a very dangerous school. So my friend did not press any charges. Come to find out he had molested her older sister also. Years later my best friend's daughter was friends with a little girl across the street. Her father did assault this child & this time he was convicted. He was only given probation. Do I think that her Mom was a monster? HELL YES!!!  I can say this because I knew her parents & the details. After walking in on the actual act in progress there could be no DOUBT OR DENIAL in her mind. Especially once it was known that it happened to the oldest daughter. She was a MONSTER!! OK, so what about the older sister, She was an adult when this took place, isn't she also a monster for not protecting her sister from not only her father but her mother as well?? I don't know her reasons or the torment she wakes with every morning. Therefore I could not  make a judgment with a clear conscience. I have not walked a mile in her shoes.
    Unless you have been personally smack dab in the middle of a similar situation DO NOT be so quick to judge these people & their actions. There is SO MUCH MORE to core of the problem that unless you have actually lived through it personally, you CAN NOT truly know all that is involved. It is just not that simple!!!!!
    For you "know-it-alls", don't be so naive to think that  just because you have  "talked"  with your  kids about  inappropriate  touching that  it  protects  them or  if  it did happen  they  would  run straight to  you or  the police.  SORRY! it  doesn't  work that  way!!!  1.Most children  know or have a sense of what is  inappropriate touching.  And  have a sense  of shame when  touched in their  no-no  spots.  Kids don't play doctor with one another in the living room in front of family and friends. no, that exploration is done in private. 2. To protect your children you need to have an understanding that MOST of the time it is a family member that the child loves or a close family friend. Lets say it is the father. The child loves her father and would be hesitant to get her father in trouble. Nor does she want her father or her mom to be mad at her. I would imagine that it would be very difficult for a woman to believe that the man she loved & married would be capable of such a horrific act. The majority of predators don't behave like undesirable heathens. They are everyday folks in your everyday life. Children for the most part are by nature people pleaser's. They would rather keep their huge secret than to be disbelieved or create turmoil in their families. They feel, or at least I did, it is their burden to bare for the sake of the ones they love. Plus you have to consider what their predator has told them: " I won't love you anymore" or "if your mom found out she won't love you". To such extremes as " I will kill you, your family, your pet". The best thing you can do is KNOW your child. If for some reason your child starts behaving differently in the presence of an individual. Such as reluctant to be alone with this person when before they were eager to be with them. Avoids having physical contact with that person when in the past they sought  physical contact. The behaviors maybe very subtle.3. Most victims of sexual abuse come from broken homes or parents that are emotionally absent. Children that don't think much of them selves and crave the attention of an adult. Most predators pick the kids that are attention starved. First they welcome the attention of an adult that seems to take a true interest them. these children are slowly seduced. Children that spend good quality time with their folks have no need to seek adult attention else where. Predators know that an emotionally secure child is not going to welcome the intense interest of a creepy adult. Plus they are more likely to tell. Take a very active interest in knowing your child. 4. BEWARE OF ADULTS that want to spend a lot of unnecessary time with your kid, whether that be your a teacher, pastor, family friend, the guy next door, especially if they don't have kids of their own. If they are going up and beyond for your child be wary. Of course a lot of these people are not predators, but a lot are. All I'm trying to say is PAY ATTENTION!!!! Don't be so grateful you have this help you so dearly needed that you get complacent. Keep watch.4. I felt very ashamed and embarrassed about what happened to me.As a child It is hard to tell anyone no matter how close you feel to a person. Even when you know it is wrong and it wasn't your fault. Sadly shame is the only word I can think of to describe how I felt as a child because the word shame does not even begin to explain how truly horrible it made me feel. It was hard enough admitting to myself much less to another.There is another aspect of this, although I have heard it mentioned, it is rarely discussed in an open forum. Children are humans that do feel sexual pleasure. It is hard for me to admit that I did feel pleasure. There were times when I was feeling the need for attention that I would seek out my uncle. And with that said, it only increased my feelings of shame and made me feel ..... I can't even put into words. I guess thats why we feel we are to blame and responsible for the acts that were done to us. Even though we know that it was not our fault. I guess knowing something and feeling it can be two different things especially when you are a child.
     I could go on about all the aspects of my life that this man warped. They are wide and far spreading. But I did not write this for my own therapeutic reasons. I just want others to be more supportive of the families that are going through this horrific journey. It's easy to sit on one's pedestal and scrutinize the actions of another. It is not fair to judge how a person handles a crisis like this without ever having lived through it yourself, much less not having any details of that particular case. Because you have no understanding of what hell they are enduring.
     May I suggest that you should take that venom you are spewing to your legislator so they will toughen the laws on pedophiles. No more slaps on the wrist!!!! I believe the laws should be just as tough on pedophiles and rapist as it is on murder. Make laws that hold the mother responsible if she refuses to take action after seeing undeniable truth. Such as my friends  mom when she saw it with her own two eyes. It is a hard situation. I know that there are men that are falsely accused and convicted because of bitter vengeful women and confused hurt girls. And the ones who make false allegations do not have an inkling of how much harder they have made it for those of us that are victims.
    
Thanks to Dr. Phil & Oprah for continuing to tell these stories on a regular basis. By doing this they are educating the public to how widespread sexual abuse is in our society, no longer can it be ignored!! Also educating people to the signs and how to prevent it. Thank you to all of you brave enough to share your stories. I KNOW their stories are very difficult to tell. I have a story of my own. And all though I share it, it is only a general account of what took place, Not the detailed description of events. even after 30 years I remember the smallest of details like it  only happened a moment ago!

I only have one simple thing to say...if these women knew and were aware of sexual abuse then they should be charged for it. Period. Some of these "mothers" are vicitims, some are not...
 
April 22, 2008, 4:16 pm CDT

I Don't Get it

Quote From: sahmto2girls

It's amazing at some of the posts I'm reading on this subject and the rude remarks about this mother whose life was ruined when she was just a small baby! Unless you have been molested, you will never know what we sexual abuse survivors deal with each day. It doesn't matter if you get counceling or what, you will still live with knowing you were sexually abused. I was abused by my step-mom's father. I didn't tell anyone until 4 years into the sexual abuse...but I do know that today I wouldn't let my children around that man. However, he is a good guy despite what he did to me as a child/teenager and I have forgiven him.. but I still wouldn't let him around my daughters unless I was right there with them. We don't know the circumstances of what went on here UNTIL we have seen the show.. so until then, maybe you shouldn't be judging this mother. She's been through enough!

 

 

In response to your message I find it unbelievable that if this was a pit bull who injured a child it would get put down with out a blink of an eye. Why is it we think of humans any less when they do some thing so bad that traumatizes an individual's mind,body and spirit!! I too was sexually abused as a teen. My family immediately took action and has contiuned to fight this epidemic .Yes I live with it and have healed from the trauma but there would be no way I would ever think that someone who hurts anyone never this less a child is "a good guy" he is SICK and needs to be away from where he can not hurt anyone. Part of the healing is knowing you are doing some thing to keep this man and those like him off the street so no one else suffers!! That should be a goal you work towards daily. Even more so because you are a mom. Did you actually read what you wrote prior to posting? Your excusing the horrible behavior ,how ever happened, it did  happened,  whether I saw the show or not!!!!!

 
April 22, 2008, 4:45 pm CDT

Confronting Pediphiles

I was a molested child for at least five years that I can remember, by my father.  When I was 12 my best friends father frenched kissed me.   I did not confront my father or speak a word of it until my early thirties and only then first realized that he molested my older sister also.  My children were never exposed to my father because I always knew (somehow) that he would do it again.  Several years later, discussing wth two of my sister-in-laws that they felt as though he was molesting one of the grandchildren . I warned them to keep their children away from him but to no avail they decided to ignore what I had told them.  One of their children was also molested by my father. I'm not sure how many of us (seven of his children) that he molested.  People do not want to believe that a family member could actually be that evil.  Even though they knew he was a pervert, they still took the chance of exposing their children to him.  Fear of maybe being wrong or fear of confronting a family member/friend and then what comes with that. ie: children being taken away, court hearings and investigations.  They know but they don't want to face it for what it really is.  I did finally confront my father when a neice came to me and told me what he did to her.  I felt like exploding inside. It was all I could do to keep my sanity long enough to confront him.  What happened next was everything I expected from my mother and many family members. Total denial and turmoil.  I didn't care.  All I cared about was that it couldn't go on ever again in my family. My father passed away roughly within a year. He did admit what he did about three days after being confronted.  My family didn't speak to me for about fifteen years and my mother (ON HER DEATH BED) stated she was sorry--she didn't know. It would have been nice to hear that before she was on her death bed.  I also, say if you suspect anything at all, protect your children, neighbors children or anyone you might know or come into contact with who has been/is being abused.  They need you to take them away from the abuser and believe in them.  Fear is  very powerful.   The positive thing is that my brothers and sister are reunited after fifteen years and trying to make sense of our childhood.  The years that we missed in each other's lives have had a painful effect on all our lives BUt, we are finally working through it.  It's great to reconnect .     
 
April 22, 2008, 6:45 pm CDT

A Boy in Trouble

      It seems grandpa may need some special help. One thing with Sexual abusers is that once they act it  out once and they get away with it. They will do it again and again.  They get into a cycle. It wont matter if a family member or whoever. They isolate them in order to victimize them. It don't take much for a bigger stronger adult to victimize a child. The adult is bigger stronger leaving the child helpless.......

    I think parker is acting out the abuse that has already been done to him. He takes the way he has been treated (which is sexually abused) and does that to other kids. I guess he got it from grandpa. If grandpa has been doing sexual acts to a four year old child, its probably not the first time with other children or family members.

     This show not aired yet but I'm sure will be an eye opener..............

 
April 22, 2008, 6:47 pm CDT

04/24 A Boy in Trouble

Quote From: happyml

 

 

In response to your message I find it unbelievable that if this was a pit bull who injured a child it would get put down with out a blink of an eye. Why is it we think of humans any less when they do some thing so bad that traumatizes an individual's mind,body and spirit!! I too was sexually abused as a teen. My family immediately took action and has contiuned to fight this epidemic .Yes I live with it and have healed from the trauma but there would be no way I would ever think that someone who hurts anyone never this less a child is "a good guy" he is SICK and needs to be away from where he can not hurt anyone. Part of the healing is knowing you are doing some thing to keep this man and those like him off the street so no one else suffers!! That should be a goal you work towards daily. Even more so because you are a mom. Did you actually read what you wrote prior to posting? Your excusing the horrible behavior ,how ever happened, it did  happened,  whether I saw the show or not!!!!!

I DID read the prior messages.. and after I posted mine and stated that he is a "good guy" I wanted to go back and delete it because I didn't mean it that he is a GOOD guy.. I don't really know how to put it.......NO, I would NOT let my kids around him, EVER.. and I am NOT excusing anyones behavior when they hurt or touch a child in any unapproved way.. it's sickening and those type of people shouldn't be alowed to step foot outside of a jail cell. The guy who molested me was, at the time, my dad's wife's father.. I was so scared of tearing that family apart so I didn't turn him in.. HOWEVER, I did tell his wife who is now retired from the FBI and I told my stepmom (this was 7 years ago)....they gave ME the option of turning him in to police. I was 13 years old.. WHY would they put that upon a child? I was too afraid to turn  him in because AT the TIME, I thought he was a good guy. I say good guy because he went to church, he read the bible every night and he was a family man.

So with that being said, don't sit there and say that I am pretty much saying it's ok for child abusers to walk the streets because no, it's not ok. I think they are pathetic pigs.

 
April 23, 2008, 8:27 am CDT

04/24 A Boy in Trouble

Quote From: wlk4fun647

If the mother had been molested by her father when she was young... and her own mother didn't do anything to help her... and now she "suspects" that her own son has been molested by this same monster? This poor boy is acting out... What else could you expect him to do???

Children don't just decide to begin acting out... it is a response to the horror that they were made to endure, and a cry for help!!!

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that this boy needs help, understanding and love!!!

Does everyone have to stick their head in the sand, until he does something tragic to someone else, or he's made to suffer in silence for several more years, and ruined his life in the meantime???

What is his mother thinking???  What's wrong with his teacher and the school??? Aren't they trained to spot child abuse and get help for the victim???

It's was unknown years ago, but in this day and time, EVERYONE knows about child abuse... and they shouldn't have/raise/teach if they can't protect our precious little ones!

I blame the grandmother for not protecting her daughter, the daughter for not speaking out sooner and getting help for herself... BEFORE she brought an innocent child into her family... they ALL need HELP!!!

 

 

I would like to know how many of you know what its like to be raped. Well I do. I was repeatedly raped from the age of 7 until i was 12 by my grand fother on my dad's side. I showed no signs of being abused my grades stayed the same i didn't act out in any way. Why didn't i tell he thretened to kill me even showed me what he what he would do it with. All 3 women in my family have been raped 2 of us repeatedly. So please think before you just say some thing or judge some one.

 
April 23, 2008, 10:13 am CDT

04/24 A Boy in Trouble

I see alot of people who haven't experienced sexual abuse in the family think the reaction to this sort of violation is simple: educate children about abuse, confront the abuser, throw him/her/them in jail etc. But it is not this simple and only people who have experienced incest in the family know this.

 

I was educated about sexual abuse by my parents, yet I didn't report the abuse that was going on. I dissociated almost everything and concerning the things I did remember, I was ashamed, felt guilty and was afraid. And I was loyal to my family, yes, to my abuser.

 

My parents thought everything was fine, but my older brother abused my younger brother in the meantime. My younger brother only told my parents and me of the abuse when he was in his 20's. He was frightened, felt guilty and ashamed.

 

My grandfather (now deceased) abused my two aunts (his daughters), and although my parents knew this, they let me sleep there anyhow. Why? They thought my grandmother would keep her eyes open, they thought he was old, they didn't know the mind of an incest perp.

 

You think it's easy to throw the perps in jail? No way! It's very traumatic for your child to say everything about the abuse (s)he experienced, hear the abuser and his/her lawyer say that it didn't happen and finally to hear the perp being let free because of lack of evidence. 

 

Please, don't judge so quickly!

 
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