Topic : 04/24 A Boy in Trouble

 My 10 yr old child came to me last month and told me my father (step father that adopted me when I was 2)  put his hand down the front of her pants and rubbed her privates. I had felt  uncomfortable about they're relationship for a while  but  always felt like he was my dad and had done a great job of making up for my "doner" who has never been present in my life.  I was sick and appauled when my daughter accused him. After she told me, it was like lightening hitting me. I think he molested me as well when I was younger and potentially into my teens as I drank a lot,  did drugs and don't have a lot of recollection of my nights. Mom told me many times I was lucky to be alive because dad heard me vomiting and came in my room to turn me so I wouldn't choke on my own vomit.  I woke up mant mornings in different clothes.. Why didn't Mom hear me??? None of my sisters (his bio kids) have ever said anything about him touching them and neither has my 16 yr old daughter, and I have asked her many times. I'm DEFINATELY not discounting my daughters claim. I am her mother and have to advocate for and trust her, but is there any possibility that I am making things up as it pertains to myself? My father of course denies the accusation. My first daughter passed away (his first grandchild) and he states he would never hurt me or my children that way.  I can never deny my child security. She will never be around him again.

The father gives me the creeps.  The mother gives me the creeps.  My mother was the same......in complete   denial, not there to protect me.  Recently she said to me," Why did you never tell me?"  I told her I was afraid of HIM (and I was afraid of her).  She said,"I was afraid of him too.  What was I supposed to do?  I had two other children.  I couldn't  do anything about him."  So for the sake of the other two children she said nothing...kept us all with the perpetrator so her life would stay status quo.

This man on the show...there is something mentally wrong with him, other than the obvious.  He claps when things are said against him, claps with the audience.  His eyes are blank, he's in denial that he's done anything wrong. He's smiling...that stupid fake, false, religious smile. Does he think because he "believes" in God that this cleanses what he did??? He thinks he's righteous because he believes!  The mother is ridiculous!  Granted her generation never spoke, did what they were told, didn't want the neighbors to know...my mother was the same.  But even now, that mother too has the innocent act on.  Sleeps with him but has no emotional connection???  Really???  Please.

I watch that woman as she struggles in her pain.  I'm angry for her and for me.  I have a rage I want to give her to help her explode at her father.    Her father sits there smiling at his daughter in pain.  The mother sits there oblivious. I watch the two parents and my stomach sinks into my feet and I feel numb and angry and sad and terrified.

I NEVER let my children around the perpetrator...never.  Never will.  I have stopped all communication with that family member. 

This life she has lived....changes EVERYTHING...how you live with yourself, how you deal with the rest of the family, your children, your husband.  EVERYTHING is shaded a different color, your perspective is changed forever.  This never leaves you.  I don't care how much help you get.  It is with you every day.

My opinion is that she is lying and I think it is all a show for her.  I am not saying she was not abused by him when she was 2 wks old but she is totally fine one moment and then crying uncontrollably the next.  I think it is all a put on for her.  The interviews she is not upset other than the way her son is acting.  The child needs help and someone to discipline him as far as pulling a knife on the principal etc.  If he was molested then they need to find out who it was and get him intense help for it.  In the beginning of her talking and off and on thru out she is not upset and doesnt seem to have done anything for all of his bad acts.  It should have been stopped a long time ago.  One thing they probably don't even check is does he have access to a computer with internet or adult channels even HBO,Cinemax, etc.  To me those things should not be where a child has access to it.  They need to have blocks on the computers and tv etc.  I can bet most of it came from that.  I think alot of it with her though is totally fake and why would the mother not doing anything about it.  My child wouldn't have to tell me but once and action would be taken.  My child would come first if something like that happened to him.