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Topic : 04/25 Confronting Grandpa

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Created on : Friday, April 18, 2008, 03:26:20 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
A mother’s suspicion, a dirty secret from the past and shocking allegations continue as Sherie-Lynn and her husband, Todd, confront the man they suspect has molested Sherie-Lynn’s son, Parker. Did Sherie-Lynn’s own father, Al, whom she claims violated her as a child, turn his sick attentions to his own grandson? Is that why Parker, now 12, has been acting out sexually since he was 4 and has recently been expelled from school for violent behavior and inappropriate sexual conduct? Al admits he inappropriately touched Sherie-Lynn when she was just 2 weeks old, but says that was it, and says he never touched Parker. But as Dr. Phil digs deeper, he uncovers physical abuse and three other possible victims. Will a lie detector test settle the matter once and for all? Sherie-Lynn’s brother, Marty, doesn’t know what to believe. How will he feel about his father babysitting his own kids after the results of the polygraph test? And, what happens next for Parker? Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.
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babybecoat1
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May 7, 2008, 6:09 pm PDT

Unbelievable

I had just finished watching this show with alot of old scars and memories flooding me, and a news flash came across the tv that my uncle by marriage had been arrested for molesting a child and endangering the welfare of a child who was 12 years old. I immediately called my mother to tell her what I had just heard,I started shaking almost like tremors.As I was talking with my mother;my aunt who is married to this man beeps in on the phone. I click over and take her call she says to me, I just wanted to let you know before you hear it from the news or someone else that your uncle was arrested for touching a young girl (his own biological neice) she then proceeds to say that of course it's not true. I love this woman like a mother and she calls me support,but the next words out of my mouth was .....Aunt Judy I need you to sit down and what I am about to tell you is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done. He molested me as well. Dead Silence on the phone (in my mind i am thinking i am the worst person in the world she calls me for support and i suck more life out of her) I then proceed to tell her that I never told when I was little girl,because I figured my Father would have killed him,or they would have gotten divorced and she would hate me, or no one would believe me.I then proceeded to tell her that I did tell my parents when I was 30 years old (i am 40 now) I made them promise me they would never tell her I was hoping that maybe i was a isolated (sick as it was) case. I said to her I had told my 3 children when they were old enough to understand because even though I never left any of them there,I never wanted them to put themselves in a position where they were ever alone in the same room with him. You can hear her silence as she is taking all this in.I say to her don't you remember me wanting you to put my footy pj's on instead of a nightgown even though it was hot outside? That was because they zipped in the front and I figured if I slept on my belly he could not get to me.Well she hung up the phone with me and later called me back she said she wanted to know what exactly what he did to me.I proceeded to tell her and she said I asked him if he ever touched you,he told her not that he could remember maybe rolling over or something.I told her he knew exactly what he was doing,and it didn't happen just once or twice it happened over a period of 6 years.She then asked me if I wouldn't tell her daughters who are now both in their 20's and in the school teaching system.I didn't say anything. She was asking me about how the holidays would be now, and I was like thinking in my head and trembling WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?????Since that day,the court date came and went and was put off for a few weeks. His daughters are getting references from neighbors saying what a great guy he is. He always had little girls around him and I am sure he probably has touched someone. His one daughter even has told of a dream she has had alot of (she is sleeping and someone comes in her room and pulls down the blankets,she looks out in the hallway and she can see glowing eyes and she is scared) I wonder to myself if it is him he wears glasses and that is when he used to touch me when I was sleeping.That is also when he touched his own neice when she was sleeping.I made a promise to myself and to my parents if anyone ever came out and said something about him doing this to them,I would tell her.Her daughter the oldest one contacted me,she said she can't believe her father did this I told her it was true and that he had done this to me, I have not heard from her since. He supposedly tried to kill himself that next day after me telling her, but did not.I have not heard from any of them,I don't think they really believe it. THe victims still remain the victims looked down upon and nobody believes me or the other neice.
 
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nancij
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May 7, 2008, 9:39 pm PDT

Dr. Phil what are you thinking

I can not beleive Dr. Phil allowed this guy on his show, and did not have him arrested on his stage.

I can not get this off my mind that a father did this to a newborn baby and the mother watched.

If that was my husband he would have been finished a long time ago.

Dr. Phil please tell us what happened to him.
 
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imamosaic
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May 8, 2008, 9:59 am PDT

Did you call his niece?

Quote From: babybecoat1

I had just finished watching this show with alot of old scars and memories flooding me, and a news flash came across the tv that my uncle by marriage had been arrested for molesting a child and endangering the welfare of a child who was 12 years old. I immediately called my mother to tell her what I had just heard,I started shaking almost like tremors.As I was talking with my mother;my aunt who is married to this man beeps in on the phone. I click over and take her call she says to me, I just wanted to let you know before you hear it from the news or someone else that your uncle was arrested for touching a young girl (his own biological neice) she then proceeds to say that of course it's not true. I love this woman like a mother and she calls me support,but the next words out of my mouth was .....Aunt Judy I need you to sit down and what I am about to tell you is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done. He molested me as well. Dead Silence on the phone (in my mind i am thinking i am the worst person in the world she calls me for support and i suck more life out of her) I then proceed to tell her that I never told when I was little girl,because I figured my Father would have killed him,or they would have gotten divorced and she would hate me, or no one would believe me.I then proceeded to tell her that I did tell my parents when I was 30 years old (i am 40 now) I made them promise me they would never tell her I was hoping that maybe i was a isolated (sick as it was) case. I said to her I had told my 3 children when they were old enough to understand because even though I never left any of them there,I never wanted them to put themselves in a position where they were ever alone in the same room with him. You can hear her silence as she is taking all this in.I say to her don't you remember me wanting you to put my footy pj's on instead of a nightgown even though it was hot outside? That was because they zipped in the front and I figured if I slept on my belly he could not get to me.Well she hung up the phone with me and later called me back she said she wanted to know what exactly what he did to me.I proceeded to tell her and she said I asked him if he ever touched you,he told her not that he could remember maybe rolling over or something.I told her he knew exactly what he was doing,and it didn't happen just once or twice it happened over a period of 6 years.She then asked me if I wouldn't tell her daughters who are now both in their 20's and in the school teaching system.I didn't say anything. She was asking me about how the holidays would be now, and I was like thinking in my head and trembling WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?????Since that day,the court date came and went and was put off for a few weeks. His daughters are getting references from neighbors saying what a great guy he is. He always had little girls around him and I am sure he probably has touched someone. His one daughter even has told of a dream she has had alot of (she is sleeping and someone comes in her room and pulls down the blankets,she looks out in the hallway and she can see glowing eyes and she is scared) I wonder to myself if it is him he wears glasses and that is when he used to touch me when I was sleeping.That is also when he touched his own neice when she was sleeping.I made a promise to myself and to my parents if anyone ever came out and said something about him doing this to them,I would tell her.Her daughter the oldest one contacted me,she said she can't believe her father did this I told her it was true and that he had done this to me, I have not heard from her since. He supposedly tried to kill himself that next day after me telling her, but did not.I have not heard from any of them,I don't think they really believe it. THe victims still remain the victims looked down upon and nobody believes me or the other neice.

First I want to say that I believe you.  I was wondering if you had contacted his niece and told her that you had been molested by your uncle also?  I know, tough stuff, but of all the people she would appreciate your support the most.

 

Complicated situations.  Can you say that you have been molested and still love your extended family?  I for one do believe that you can tell the truth and love your family.  Those things are not mutually exclusive.  If they will understand that you love them and want to tell the truth is entirely up to them.  You have no control over what they will do with what you say.  Do they love you?  They may fear you, as this is going to court and that's understandable.

 

It's so hard.  Your uncle put the pain in motion, not you.  You may benefit from counseling as you watch his family dealing with their pain.  You didn't do anything wrong and yet before it is over you may be odd man out.  Unfortunately if you read this board, the molester is supported and the victims are shunned because otherwise what the victims are saying is true.  And that just can't be.  It can't be dealt with so they get rid of you and all is beautiful again.  A sad state of affairs.  Just ask Sherie-Lynn and many others on this board.

 

Good Luck to you- Sue
 
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stevesteve
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May 9, 2008, 7:30 am PDT

My original posting

Quote From: katduc

is THIS the orig. post you are refering to? You have written many replys so I am ONLY checking and would like to validate what you are saying. ONLY a simple question so I can LISTEN without judgement this time.

c

Yes. This is my original posting.
 
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babybecoat1
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May 9, 2008, 7:32 am PDT

04/25 Confronting Grandpa

Quote From: imamosaic

First I want to say that I believe you.  I was wondering if you had contacted his niece and told her that you had been molested by your uncle also?  I know, tough stuff, but of all the people she would appreciate your support the most.

 

Complicated situations.  Can you say that you have been molested and still love your extended family?  I for one do believe that you can tell the truth and love your family.  Those things are not mutually exclusive.  If they will understand that you love them and want to tell the truth is entirely up to them.  You have no control over what they will do with what you say.  Do they love you?  They may fear you, as this is going to court and that's understandable.

 

It's so hard.  Your uncle put the pain in motion, not you.  You may benefit from counseling as you watch his family dealing with their pain.  You didn't do anything wrong and yet before it is over you may be odd man out.  Unfortunately if you read this board, the molester is supported and the victims are shunned because otherwise what the victims are saying is true.  And that just can't be.  It can't be dealt with so they get rid of you and all is beautiful again.  A sad state of affairs.  Just ask Sherie-Lynn and many others on this board.

 

Good Luck to you- Sue

Sue-yes I did contact his neice,and I did go to the police and file a statement,but of course the statue of limitations will not allow my statement,but indeed will support hers.I have also told this young girl I am here for her always!

 

Thank you for your kind words,I have been to some counseling and yes I could love my aunt,and two cousins.

 

You spoke correctly they are afraid of me going to court and I am the odd man out.

 

Again, thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate them.

 

Crystal
 
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stevesteve
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May 9, 2008, 8:08 am PDT

What does it take to get through to you?

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The world is filled with children............one big Daycare Center.  I  am a very literate individual and fully understood  what you wrote.  What you wrote struck a nerve because you belittled the child's rights; then by what you wrote here......you feel I am not educated enough to understand what you wrote and you assume that just selected words out of what you wrote?  Stevesteve, my father was suppose to protect me - and he made me live in fear of him; my mother doing nothing because it would cause a riff between the two of them to the point that she hated me..................your offender was not your mother, father, or any relative -- I am thankful for that but am sorry you were molested --- at least you had a family to turn to in your time of need.  Those of us who were molested within our own family's were left to survive on our own, at least I know I had to.  Now maybe you might just understand what I meant and how one, or as I see many have taken offense to your post.

 Your own words show you don't understand much of what I am saying at all. In no way have I attempted to besmirch your intelligence. All I meant by  "read slowly" is a lot was happening within the forum and emotions were running high. All of us tend to rush through things under those circumstances and I was only saying if you read my postings completely you might better understand what I am trying to say. Apparently that is not the case. The phrase "loose in the daycare center" was only one way to say Al shouldn't be left alone around any children, anywhere. But, as is so often the case in this forum,  you took it wrong. This is illustrated moslty by your statement that I in someway "belittled the child's rights" You couldn't be more off base with this statement and this does cause me to wonder about your level of intelIigence. I have 4 kids of my own and would kill and or die in order to protect them.  I have nothing but sympathy for everyone who has ever been molested by anyone and I am particularly sorry for those of you who have had to face this situation alone. I will not apologize to anyone for the words I have written in this forum as none of them, if understood correctly, should be offensive to anyone except  a few vigilantes in the crowd. To those of you who, for what ever reason, failed to understand me I say, I am only sorry for getting involved in a forum full of so much emotion most participants aren't reading, responding or thinking with common sense and without bias. This is my last post as I do not wish to keep repeating myself to folks who are so wound up they simply can't grasp my meaning accurately. Goodby to all and God bless you.
 
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stevesteve
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May 9, 2008, 8:23 am PDT

Please read ALL of my posting, then decide

Quote From: katduc

is THIS the orig. post you are refering to? You have written many replys so I am ONLY checking and would like to validate what you are saying. ONLY a simple question so I can LISTEN without judgement this time.

c

Hey Katduc, If you read all of my postings and responses to others, I think you might get where I'm coming from. I hope anyway and thank you for at least trying. It seems no one here is grasping my meaning at all. It would be nice to see one of you getting it. By the way, I LOVE bowling!
 
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bryleerose1222
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May 9, 2008, 10:23 am PDT

Where is Sherie-Lynn's Accountability?

This topic has been in my thoughts since the shows aired back in April. As a survivor of 10 plus years of child abuse, (physical, emotional & sexual) I sat on the edge of my seat virtually screaming at my television asking the question: "Where is Sherie-Lynn's accountability/responsibility for the molestation of her own son, Parker?" Dr. Phil, it was never addressed! I was a victim of my step-father, and I guarantee you, there is no way on this earth that I would've ever allowed my precious children to have been left in his care for one moment! In fact, when my sister-in-law was contemplating allowing my Mom & step-father to tend their daughter(s), I immediately called her & explained to her what I had experienced as a child. To this day, she still thanks me for keeping her girls out of harm's way. Was Sherie-Lynn naive' enough to think that the abuse began & ended with her? What her father did to her & his own siblings was horrible, and he will one day be held accountable by a higher law, but what she did was like putting a Hershey bar in front of a chocoholic! I can only hope & pray that this entire family gets the therapy they so desperately need, grandma included! May God help us to protect those that can not protect themselves.....
 
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hamincold
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May 9, 2008, 4:45 pm PDT

Grandpa you disqust me!

I hope Dr. Phil exposes your evil deeds and that you lose the rest of your life to jail cell.

 

Dr. Phil, i really hope you read these message boards because there are alot of people who really do not understand how hard it is to be in a 'family' and have this happen to you. One reader wrote: where are all the support groups?' 20 years later after my sons were abused there is still no help out there. Rapeline was the place I called, and wonderfuly, they guided me all the way and even went and sat in court with me when my own husband would not show because it was his brother. People need more education about this and EVERYONE WANTS TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. Did Sheri-Lyn get him turned in and how is she doing? You can all say what you want, but until you have laid in these shoes, you have no idea what sexual abuse can do to you, or your children.

 

That dam grandpa is guilty and so is his wife for not stopping it and denying it. They both deserve jail. Sad thing is the courts won't convict him because the courts fail ALL THE VICTIMS.

 

Sheri Lyn you have my support and I hope you are strong enough to fight for your son and yourself. don't you ever stop being strong for yourself and your son. Your son is not to blame here, he needs help like every other victim.

 

Anyone who challenges your decision is ignorant because they don't understand what you have been thru. I do understand and lost my marriage for doing the right thing. OH fricking well, his family was enabling him to continue the behavior by turning the cheek and pretending he never would do it. Well he did. 20 years later and 120 admitted sexual assault victims, he finally sits in a mental hospital until he finds a way to get out of there and rape again a child.
 
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picalina
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May 10, 2008, 6:55 am PDT

confronting Grandpa

Quote From: starlett

Watching the preview for tomorrows episode gave me chills - obviously something bad comes about regarding the lie-detector.  When Sherie-Lynn screams "NOOOO"  The way she says it sent chills down my spine.   Did anyone catch the lie-detector thingy jump when the grandfather was asked did you molest your grandson Parker?   The thingy jumped big-time.   That tells me this dude has serious issues!

    

 

     Yes I did notice the lie detector jump...How dare he use the excuse that he doesn't remember.

 

I feel so sorry for his wife.  She even said the detector does not lie.

I am curious to know what the outcome is on this confrontation.  Did the wife continue to stay with him?

Did the daughter continue to stand by her convictions?

 

Did the law get involved?

 

Picalina
 
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