Quote From: searching4meDear Dr. Phil,
I'm a sporatic watcher, not a consistent one. When I heard the topic of todays' show I resolved to watch the full program. It was hard to watch. Am I a hoarder? Yes, to some degree but I couldn't touch the depth of todays lady. I do admit to considerable clutter though none of it is food. Mostly books, magazines and unfinished projects.
I haven't always agreed with some of your solutions but do feel you care about your guests and a productive, successful outcome. For nearly 20 years I was a renter in a property owned by my brother. He stopped by one day without calling and the house was not up to muster. His first comment was, you need to get this place cleaned up. I did start working on it with the help of my daughter and one of my sister-in-laws but it wasn't going fast enough for him. Approximately a week later he stopped by again and announced that the following Saturday I was to find somewhere else to be because he was recruiting my other siblings (I'm one of eight) and having a dumpster delivered and they would be clearing out the apartment. It's amazing what was missing when I returned to my apartment. Come to find out he had a deadline because he was putting the house up for sale. No I was not told there was a deadline or about the sale. I really went into a slump after that.
I have been a high school business teacher now for over 25 years. Currently 58. No excuses here just information, in 1998 I had the my second of two strokes. I had a very poor doctor at the time and ended up retreating into a depression I was never warned about. I was admitted to the hospital on a Monday, stayed four days, discharged Friday and returned to work on the following Monday. I had asked when I could return to work and was told "When you feel up to it."
Feeling up to working had no part in it; I was brought up with a very strong work ethic. You have a responsibility to be at work and if not you better be on your death bed. No other reason to miss work.
Needless to say, I experienced considerable difficulty upon my return to work. Three weeks later I made an appointment to sit down with the neurologist that attended me while in the hospital. I conveyed my difficulties: (1) memory loss (2) physical and emotional exhaustion (3) constant and increasing anxiety and stress levels (4) considerable confusion. I was too tired when I got home to do housework and was literally sleeping all weekend just so I could make it through the next week. When I asked him what I could do about it his response was, "Get over it!" I think back now and wish I still had some of my youth brass.
My parents, God bless them, have both passed and where children of the depression years. . . nothing was ever thrown out if there was a slight chance it would be useful later. BUT the house was always neat and organized so how did I end up like this?
I believe I can attribute my clutter to my extended levels of anxiety and depresssion and health issues (as noted above plus Type II diabetic, severe sleep apnea (awake 43 times per hour average) now have a CPap to use and am on 90 mg Cymbalta daily. What do you think? I have no interest in becoming a show participant but would welcome a brief response if you can find the time.
I'm currently on summer vacation and will check periodically to see if you have any words of wisdom for me.
Chris
In response to Chris: About three months after radiation treatments for Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma were completed, I had an extreme anxiety attack at work. I really thought that I was going to die because I had so much trouble breathing. I had no history of anxiety attacks; therefore, I did not know what was happening. Medical professionals failed to tell me that I had dealt with the physical part of the cancer, but not the emotional part of it. It's unfortunate that your doctor was uncompassionate with you. I was working in a demanding, high-profile job and felt as if I couldn't take anymore time off. In hindsite, I found out that taking a little more time off could have helped a lot, if it would have been in conjunction with counselling. After a long process, my philosophy has become that I can't change what happened before, I can only go forward from this minute on--I can only influence the future.
My conclusion about my hoarding issues is that it stemmed from several decades of criticism for a whole spectrum of decisions. The criticism would typically come from those who confessed to care and/or love me--which, of course, impacted my phsyche. I would basically become immobilized to 'cleanse' my environment, in order to avoid criticism that would definitely follow.
There has been many devastations in the United States. I began to think about the chance of something happening to my "things". So, I am now on a mission to de-clutter to the point of enjoying a more spacious living environment, along with the "things" that are most precious to me, such as family photos.
De-cluttering and putting a stop to hoarding starts with a mental process that we are capable of doing, with the help of other resources, i.e. books, Internet, friends, family.
Don't give up--get the emotional support you need and de-clutter your life. You will be glad that you did!
justmyangle.
(Original Air Date: 04/28/08) Imagine being forced to dwell in a space that is so cluttered with junk, food and trash, you can barely walk. Nancy and her boyfriend, Bob, live this nightmare every day. In their two homes, flies and plastic containers fill the kitchen, moldy food is stuffed in four refrigerators, and boxes and plastic bags litter the house. The two youngest children sleep on the same couch in the living room, because one's bedroom is cluttered, and the other child doesn't even have a bedroom! Nancy, a former nurse, admits to being an extreme hoarder, but how did she and Bob, a former corporate attorney, allow their lives to degenerate to this chaotic clutter? Their home is trashed, and they're in debt $100,000. Could other issues be contributing to the chaos in the house as well? Hear from the three children, 16, 11 and 9, who are trapped in this mess. Are Nancy and Bob finally ready to rescue their family from the rubble before the kids' lives are ruined forever? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.
