Quote From: desertlillyI knew just about all my neighbors on my street except one. She was not the kind of person who would get out of her car when she came home from work, turn to us to smile and wave. She was a nurse at a local, well known hospital, in San Bernardino county CA.
She had recently become divorced, and I noticed that she was no longer taking the meticulous care of her lawn like she used to. We all just chided it on. She worked long hours, and on occasion we would catch her coming home, always with some kind of fast food, and a 12 pack of beer, or a gallon of cheap wine.
A few years went by. We were accustomed to seeing a gardener weed whack her mess a couple of times a year. We figured correctly that she was in violation of city code, and was being forced to deal with her weeds.
Around this time, we started to get roof rats in our garage, and my neighbor across the street, who lived next door to this woman was having to deal with cockroaches. It was then that I began to really watch what was going on across the street. This woman never set her trash out, yet, she was always taking stuff INTO her house. I took my kids trick or treating there, and the woman had her foot behind her door, keeping it somewhat closed, but I saw a huge mess behind her. I called the city and told them about our rat problem (and I was freaked out by them.) and the cockroaches that we never had before, and told them about the woman across the street. I was told that the city had looked into the matter, and the woman was fine, a nice lady, so let sleeping dogs lie.
I was a bit perturbed. I did not want rats or bugs in my space. I had 4 small kids and I babysat as well. I did not want any of them to get sick.
Several months later, the lady was led out of her house by the police! Right afterward, a crew came to clean her house. They set a huge dumpster on her driveway, and filled it to the brim. My neighbor had enough insight to take his camera over to the house, and take pictures. My neighbor gave the pictures to me. Her entire home was covered a good four foot high or more, with pizza cartons, McDonald's bags, old newspaper. There was a kitchen in this house at one time, but it disappeared under a stinking mass of trash. She had a waterbed with no water in it, just piled high with old wine bottles. Same for her bathroom. There were two bedrooms. Oddly, one of the bedrooms had nothing in it. No furniture, no bed, nothing, EXCEPT there were cracks in the wall and the plants from outside were growing inside.
I don't know why the police took her away, someone said she was physicotic. She defiantly had a drinking problem, if nothing else. It's sad to think that someone could suffer such a mental breakdown, and in this case, it must have been brought on by her divorce. To think that maybe she did something at work, a slip up with a patient? It's speculation for sure.
My Uncle was not quite as bad, but he never cleaned, even though his personal habits, hygiene, were impeccable. He would never let any of the family in "his" house after my Great Grandmother died, and we were not surprised that he was selling her house (she died intestate, but that is another story) and it was to be sold as a tear down. The house was HORRID. The wonderful people who bought the home (it was built in 1905) decided that this grand old lady of a home was not to be demolished, but brought back to her turn of the century slender. I was blessed that this family let me in the house to show me the work they put into it. It was the highlight of my trip back to my native Chicago a few years ago. BTW, the house had pigeons in the attic, and a family of raccoons in the chimney! Several windows were also broken. It amazes me that my Uncle did not freeze to death in the bitter cold Chicago winters.
Same with the lady that used to live across the street (I moved from that area years ago). Her house was cleaned, fixed up and sold to a nice family with two little girls.
In a way, I feel badly that I did not reach out to this woman, Maybe all she needed was a shoulder to cry on. I had a very full plate in front of me. A bad abusive marriage, four kids under 7, babysat and cleaned houses so I could feed my kids, and a number of illnesses, so reaching out, for me, was not an option.
Same with my Uncle. In his case, he sent all my letters back to me unopened, and he never answered his telephone, so after a while, the family just quit trying to make contact.
She may have needed a shoulder to cry on or maybe not. There could be many reasons that would have led your neighbour into this kind of lifestyle.
There is no need to justify yourself for not offering a shoulder to cry on. I found it really odd that you did though. Do you feel guilt?
(Original Air Date: 04/28/08) Imagine being forced to dwell in a space that is so cluttered with junk, food and trash, you can barely walk. Nancy and her boyfriend, Bob, live this nightmare every day. In their two homes, flies and plastic containers fill the kitchen, moldy food is stuffed in four refrigerators, and boxes and plastic bags litter the house. The two youngest children sleep on the same couch in the living room, because one's bedroom is cluttered, and the other child doesn't even have a bedroom! Nancy, a former nurse, admits to being an extreme hoarder, but how did she and Bob, a former corporate attorney, allow their lives to degenerate to this chaotic clutter? Their home is trashed, and they're in debt $100,000. Could other issues be contributing to the chaos in the house as well? Hear from the three children, 16, 11 and 9, who are trapped in this mess. Are Nancy and Bob finally ready to rescue their family from the rubble before the kids' lives are ruined forever? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.
