Topic : 07/01 A Secret Inside: Extreme Hoarding

 i never saw a drug addicts house look like this womans house looked like, a drug addict cant afford all the stuff to trash thear house with like that.

I am a foster parent, too, and I was thinking along the same lines.  I felt so bad for those poor kids! I'm sure that Dr. Phil would have alerted the local authorities and they would have made certain that those kids would not have spent one more night in that vile house!  Just the thought of the unnecessary illnesses those children could have contracted from breathing the mold and animal feces and nasty garbage that has been rotting in that house ~ it's horrible! I wonder if those kids have had a lot of sick days from school? 

 

Even if Dr. Phil had sent in a team of people to clean out that house, if the mom does not get well, she would probably trash the place in very little time, just like she did to the home of her friend who had cancer.  And, it sounds like it's going to take her some time to 'persuade' her to part with her rotting food and clutter!  Those kids need a clean, safe living environment in the meantime! 

 

Not to mention the fact that this woman was drinking on the show!  If you have to drink to cope with the fact that you can no longer abuse pain pills, you probably have a drinking problem!

 

 

 Lets see,
animals urinating and defecating at will all over the house
No bed to sleep in
Fridges and freezers filled with ROTTING FOOD
Fruit flies taking over the home (not to mention the other critters probably not mentioned )
Alcholic Mother who is more than willing to endanger their lives by drinking and driving.
Does it sound bad yet ?
You know what, a child who is BEATEN will defend their parents, why, because we are Hardwired to be dependant on these people until we are adults.
They are NOT, ARE NOT REPONSIBLE for their Mother or her choices in this life, as the adult, Mom is RESPOSIBLE for providing a healthy SAFE environment for her children, I'm not suggesting making Martha Stewart Jealous, not many of could live up to that, but my God, if the house ever caught fire, it might be nice for the kids to have a way out.
Do you realize what can live in dog and cat waste ? And those animals didn't look very healthy, I hope the Humane Society removes them, and CPS removes those kids UNTIL Mom decides she NEEDS help, if she hasn't hit bottom, then maybe Bottom need to be created.

I noticed that woman really glommed onto that euphemism too.  She kept talking about the filth and the accumulating piles disgusting trash in terms of 'hoarding.'  She'd say, "Well, that was when the hoarding started..."

 

At least that word allowed Dr. Phil to get some straight answers out of her as to when she started to let her house go. ;)

My husband had a similar situation with his ex and her home.   We live in a different state. This all came to light when one of the girls went to school smelling like cat urine and looking very unkempt.  The teacher notified the authorities and an investigation was launched.  Long story short is the children were taken into custody and then after proceedings, came to live here with us.  There were over 50 cats living there.  The hoarding was not as bad but the filth was.  The Humane Society was notified and they came out and took all the cats.

 

This was several years ago.  They have chosen to move back there with her.  They are now at the age of majority and can choose for themselves.  I guess it is what you know and are comfortable with.  There are no rules there and they can do just as they please. 

 

I am surprised that the teachers have not noticed any odors.

Yes, they are very intelligent and sympathetic children, and certainly their mother should get some credit for that. However the cops have been called to their house thirty times!!!  Both Nancy and her significant other drink to excess which means those kids live with their parent figures in a drunken, inaccessible haze ~ how lonely must that be?  Dr. Phil hit the nail on the head when he said that their environment is toxic both physically and emotionally.

 

Even if their mom didn't get sick and scream horrible, abusive things at her kids, things that will scar their psyches, I would say that home was unfit.  It is piled so high with trash that those kids don't even have their own rooms, even though their is plenty of space.  Nancy spends all kinds of money, so clearly she could buy those kids furniture for their rooms and curtains and bedspreads but she just doesn't.  There are bugs and animal feces. Probably the only reason there are no mice is because the cats get them.  Those kids open any one of the seven refrigeration units looking for food and they have no idea what is spoiled and what is safe.  Not to mention the fact that Mom is likely to go off on them for taking a clean glass out of the cupboard. Their home is too disgusting to invite friends over. 

Why has there been no comment re: child protective services made by Dr. Phil or his staff??  In my jurisdiction, those children would have been apprehended immediately, given the concerns identified:  FILTHY living conditions which present a health and safety concern (neglect); ongoing drug/alcohol abuse by one or both of the adults in the home; exposure to domestic violence; failure to provide the necessities of life. 

 

The children would not have been returned to that home until it was cleaned up completely (verified by a caseworker), and both adults had at least started counselling and shown some form of progress.  Both adults need substance abuse counselling, and counselling re: domestic violence.

 

Children who witness domestic violence are victims of child abuse.  The mother admitted that she has been held in a choke hold, with a hammer held to her head by her intoxicated partner.  Mother states that police have been to the home over 30 times.  GIVE ME A BREAK!  Mother can choose to live in this situation, but she CANNOT make that choice for her children. 

 

If Dr. Phil and have staff have not reported this to child protection, and provided them with a tape of the show, they are being grossly negligent of their responsibility to report child abuse. 

 

So,....what is it?  Have the authorities been notified or not??

 

Waiting for a reply.

 

I think that it's great that shows are there to help people with their problems and hoarding is a problem that often goes unrecognized.  However, I have a REAL PET PEEVE!!  I hate that these shows go into peoples junk, garbage, urine and feces filled homes and offer them makeovers!!!  What about the people who take care of what they have regardless to how old it may be??  I clean my small house on a daily basis, it's outdated and has orange old carpeting, but I still shampoo it and vacuum it because it is what we have.  Our bathroom has a 70's harvest gold tub, but I still clean it...  We are not a wealthy family and have three children.  I teach my children to respect their belongings and then they see shows that offer makeovers to people who refuse to clean their homes and live in squalor...  it gives them a mixed message.  In this episode, obviously these people were not in NEED of new appliances or a home makeover, they have a $350,000 home PLUS a condo...  Once they got the therapy needed, they would be able to afford their own home makeover.  It hurts to see that the people who live in filth are so easily rewarded with new belongings and homes that they can ruin and those of us who take pride in what we have (regardless to how old or ugly it may be) are left with annoyance. 

 

  I agree w/ everyone here that says this woman is not your classic hoarder, she just chooses to live in filth -there's a big difference.

 

  I've been over to many hoarder homes, and they're not dirty, they don't stink of rotting food and animal urine/feces.  People who went through the Great Depression hoarded and continued to do so into their lives, but the ones I visited, their homes were organized piles of stuff (lots of stuff but it wasn't just thrown all over the place), and their homes were functional and not a health hazzard.  Its insulting to people like my spouse's grandmother (who hoardes lots of stuff), she manages to host every Thanksgiving & Christmas, but there are organized piles of books, mags, clothes, canned foods, sewing stuff/material, etc, etc.  -its insulting to classify her w/ that lady from the show.

 

  I also agree that the woman on the show has an addict personality, she was wound so tight, she admits to drinking daily, and if she admits to that, you know that's just the tip of the ice berg.  I thought she probably takes a lot of speed, she was awfuly jumpy; and the fact that she caused a yelling scene at the hotel speaks plenty that she's on more than alcohol.

 

  I wonder if her boyfriend stays w/ her cause he feels bad for the kids?  Most men would not keep a GF like that, and if she's driving him batty and spending tons of his money, something isn't right, why does he stay, I mean she probably fuels his drinking problem, shes toxic.

 

  I can't shake this feeling that this woman is no different than your average con artist, she's a taker, a constant consumer who won't throw away rotting food but has threatened to throw away her kids -doesn't that just tell all? 

I can just see her thinking about how she'll enjoy whinning to a Dr Phil paid professional about how awful her life was cause x, y, and z happened.  Then I see her thinking about how she struck gold (like those people on Oprah who get a whole new re-modeled kitchen or entire home), it just represent more "stuff" in her mind and that's always her goal cause she is addicted to having more.  Hopefully, what Lowes provides is not uber fancy, just a basic upgrade that isn't designed to knock your socks off when you see it.  The people who get those total home makeovers (whether it be just the kitchen or more) are a whole hell of a lot more deserving than this woman who merely chooses to live in a dirty home. 

 

Theres a lady in my neighborhood who's just like this lady.  Her name is Sherry, and she always lived on the messy side, but after her husband left her, she let the place go to real pot (the yard is a hot mess, she has unorganized piles of crap piled so high, you can see them through her windows (which she tries to cover w/ bed sheets not curtains), her garage is stuffed w/ everything you can imagine as well as garbage and animal feces. 

After her divorce, she told everyone that she now gets migranes,  so she doesn't work anymore and she lives off what her elderly dad gives her every month.  She also has 3 kids (all minors).

People have tried to offer free help to clean her place up w/ her guidance (since its her house), but she turns everyone down, blaming her headaches as why.

I think Sherry would go on Dr Phil in a second if she thought she'd be in for free stuff from Lowes, and of course a professional to talk about how she's not over her divorce, how she gets migranes and cannot function like everyone else who manages to work w/ a migrane problem, and how she can't control her unruly kids, etc. 

 

People like the woman on the show exist everywhere, and they have kids who suffer, but tough love is needed not a new renovated home or even just a kitchen from Lowes.  As soon as this lady gets her home improvements, she'll continue to live messy and not care like she should; she can plan strategies w/ a counselor all day long, but she won't change until she's successfully undergone addiction & substance abuse counseling; and even then, its an uphill battle where she'll have to clean up her life (instead of waiting for life to clean her up -her home is a mirror of who she is inside).  She needs to stick to a job and re-learn how to parent those kids; but after watching her story & bodylanguage, I feel like she's not gonna change for the better until she's stripped of all the things she has (no more home, no more boyfriend, kids taken from her, her junk taken from her, etc).  When she's forced to make her own way w/out the boyfriend's money crutch she'll be better off.  As phil says neccessity is the mother of invention.

 

How dare this woman justify her living conditions by saying "no one should be slapped down over and over again". She brought every bit of that on herself; stealing drugs, losing her license. She endangers the other condo residents (connected building) with that filth, and resents them for trying to stop it. I can't even imagine what that unknown woman she "cared" for suffered before she was committed. How dare Nancy move in on someone's situation and bring that disgusting condition into it? What did that woman suffer? Nancy should have been jailed for abuse in that case, but she's complaining that she didn't get paid, and had to pay the estate back? She should have been charged for neglect and abuse.

Many people have been slapped over and over, through no fault of their own. They've lost children, and suffered accidents and attacks. Yet this creature is feeling so so sorry for herself. Do you know how many hungry people 7 freezers of wholesome food could feed? There are elderly women trying to boil water over a sterno can, and Nancy gets a new kitchen? She doesn't deserve it. I understand the psychological ramifications of the OCD and depression and so on, but this woman is self-pitying for everything she caused. Those children and pets should be taken away from her and her drunken boyfriend, and housed somewhere safe together, not have to wait until she makes a change and then gets a new kitchen. And in all that horror, she was obviously able to find the photos of herself in her glory days. She probably has no idea of where her children's baby pictures are, though.

People with OCD and hoarder problems are not bad people. They have a glitch in their thinking, which is obvious, but this case is something else. This woman has a vicious twist that would enable her to pretend to be a caregiver and subject an innocent woman with cancer to this filth. She should never be allowed a nursing license again. She's upset because of how the other parents treat her? Doesn't she think children talk and then talk to their parents? She doesn't have a moment to think about the humiliation her children must be suffering at school.

Go on, Nancy, Keep being proud of yourself and smiling when you talk about "being in charge of the estate" and "changing the towel in a couple of weeks" for the untrained dogs. Glad you have that amazing sense of smell. I hope that's a consolation when you are all alone and someone like you is taking care of you. Enjoy it.