Topic : 07/01 A Secret Inside: Extreme Hoarding

How dare this woman justify her living conditions by saying "no one should be slapped down over and over again". She brought every bit of that on herself; stealing drugs, losing her license. She endangers the other condo residents (connected building) with that filth, and resents them for trying to stop it. I can't even imagine what that unknown woman she "cared" for suffered before she was committed. How dare Nancy move in on someone's situation and bring that disgusting condition into it? What did that woman suffer? Nancy should have been jailed for abuse in that case, but she's complaining that she didn't get paid, and had to pay the estate back? She should have been charged for neglect and abuse.

Many people have been slapped over and over, through no fault of their own. They've lost children, and suffered accidents and attacks. Yet this creature is feeling so so sorry for herself. Do you know how many hungry people 7 freezers of wholesome food could feed? There are elderly women trying to boil water over a sterno can, and Nancy gets a new kitchen? She doesn't deserve it. I understand the psychological ramifications of the OCD and depression and so on, but this woman is self-pitying for everything she caused. Those children and pets should be taken away from her and her drunken boyfriend, and housed somewhere safe together, not have to wait until she makes a change and then gets a new kitchen. And in all that horror, she was obviously able to find the photos of herself in her glory days. She probably has no idea of where her children's baby pictures are, though.

People with OCD and hoarder problems are not bad people. They have a glitch in their thinking, which is obvious, but this case is something else. This woman has a vicious twist that would enable her to pretend to be a caregiver and subject an innocent woman with cancer to this filth. She should never be allowed a nursing license again. She's upset because of how the other parents treat her? Doesn't she think children talk and then talk to their parents? She doesn't have a moment to think about the humiliation her children must be suffering at school.

Go on, Nancy, Keep being proud of yourself and smiling when you talk about "being in charge of the estate" and "changing the towel in a couple of weeks" for the untrained dogs. Glad you have that amazing sense of smell. I hope that's a consolation when you are all alone and someone like you is taking care of you. Enjoy it.

I grew up with a mother who still continues to hoard.  She has actually become worse now that my father has passed and my sister and I do not live at home.  I have not been inside her house in 11 years.  My sister was last in about 4 or 5 years ago.  When I was growing up it was just "stuff" she collected, mail, piles of clothes, etc.  She rarely cleaned or washed dishes.  We ate almost every meal at my Grandparents house who lived 4 houses away.  I could never have friends over and when I did, it was at my Grandparents.  As we got older and had friends pick us up we would watch and run outside so that they didn't have to come to the door.  My sister tells me that my mother now has her kitchen packed with garbage-- empty pepsi and food containers.  We also know that the kitchen sink does not work, nor does the stove or refrigerator.  I think the bathroom sink is broken but the faucet still works and I believe there is something wrong with the toilet.  She did buy a small dorm size refrigerator but has no freezer.  Her car is packed full of stuff-- there is only space for her to sit.  I dread having to deal with that mess if and when something happens to her.  Thank God that her dog died about 5 years ago b/c I can't even imagine  what that poor dog dealt with.  She does get her grass cut b/c the neighbor does it for $20.  No one should have to live this way.  I now struggle b/c I feel like everything has to be spotless and germ-free.  It has taken me years to realize that I can relax and have a clean home without driving my self crazy thinking that I will end up like her.  And with a husband, 2 kids and a dog, I was completely worn out.  I do not know what my mother's problem is but she has always held down a decent job and has friends but this is ridiculous.  She has no idea what she has done to us not only b/c of the hoarding but I think she has other mental issues as well,  I am glad that people are starting to talk about this and I feel like I can start to deal with this.  I truly understand what these children are going through,  and it is just not right.       

I completely agree!!  The kids (a boy and a girl) have to sleep together on a small dirty couch....  That right there should be enough to warrant an investigation

I hear ya! I think when my parents die I am just going to burn down the house... its absolutely disgusting. Sometimes I wonder if they just don't know how to throw stuff away. I remember one time I cleaned the two-three foot tall mound of crap of off the coffe table and washed it and my mom blamed me for months because I threw away stuff she "needed," like the bills, even though I kept all of those.  I am forever at war with clutter in my own home, much like you are.  It isn't just about hording my mom has other problems too and it has been a struggle for me to get out from under them. I am glad to see someone else in here... good luck to you. I just try and remember to put one foot in front of the other and that I need to be patient with myself.

Your post really touched me. I'm also a youngest of three who tried to help my parent with hoarding and dementia. In my case it was my father. He would actually hit me for trying to throw things away -- things like used envelopes and filthy old rags covered with dog hair. I'm not sure that it was a case of loving the stuff more than he loved me, so much as an overwhelming fear of getting old and helpless and being without things. Even though my father had plenty of money, if he thought I had thrown out something he, "might need someday," he would tell me he, wasn't made of money! He was so afraid of getting old and losing control and, sadly, in the end he did have to leave his possessions and his dog, and go to a nursing home where he was miserable. I feel guilty for not letting him live out his final years with me but his anger at me and criticism of everything I did made me feel I just couldn't live with him full time.



I'm sorry this awful hoarding thing touched your life in such a sad way, and I'm also very sorry about your disease. Best of luck and prayers for healing,
Fluffyfat

in all honesty i dont think these posts will be seen by her nor her children, from what i saw thear aint a chance in hell of any one in that home finding the computer let alone being able to logg in on it.

wow its a good thing your not on dr phils staff he would have to fire you  thinking about him that way, i think dr phil did a wonderful thing, hell hes getting those children a clean house to live in, something i bet they havent seen in many years.