Topic : 07/01 A Secret Inside: Extreme Hoarding

I just want to say that some people may not deserve what they have or get in life but they have or get it none the less so if other hoarders could some how possibly learn how much their disease effects everyone around them then maybe they can see how selfish they have been. I think diseases like this are selfish and we are all selfish but part of being a good person is realising when your selfish habits are hurting other people. We all have an urge to have people feel sorry for us and our problems but some people dwell on that while others realise they need to move on. OCD is a disease but like all things in life I do believe it is something that can be overcome.

This woman is very lucky that Dr. Phil has given her help for her problem and I hope she now realises how lucky she is to have what she has. People in this world want more than they need...we can all live without all the bells and whistles but we can't live without love, food, water, and compassion.

Dear Dr. Phil,

My brother, 56 was and probably is still a hoarder.

My 60 year old sister, Mary Loughney, who suffered with MS was unable to escape a fire 2 weeks ago. June 18, 2008 at 4pm in Enfield Conn. she died in her bed because the fire rescuers could not get to her in time. She lay talking with my brother on an intercom as the fire reached her room.  The trash, NOT CLUTTER, was blocking their entrance and stair passage. The fumes of burning trash and toxic gas accumulation caused the rescuers to be called out of the house for their safety. If this was a public place I suppose the law suits would be flying.

     Last week I lamented, if my sister was a child the social services would have intervened. If my sister was a senior she would have had safety nets, but your show today proved my theory or hope wrong.

    These people, including my brother are allowed to be unsafe care givers under the guise of mental illness. Something needs to be done because what my brother did was criminal. He survived, probably just as he planned, for his room was on the first floor and my disabled sister was on the second.

By the way, his hoarding included space heaters, hot plates and 12 gallons of kerosene, 8 years of plastic containers and trash bags. Tons of debris "too precious" to be thrown out. My younger sister cleaned all that stuff out 8 years ago and it just came back in a vain attempt to fill an ever increasing, endless void in my brothers, soul.

Unfortunately, like Oprah's coverage on this hoarding matter, Dr. Phil, you let people off too lightly. This is a crime. Those children are in great peril.

kathie fleming

My mother was a pack rack, but she was very insistent that our environment be clean. Even though we always lived in an apartment, and boxes of stuff would be stacked in a corner, everything else would be cleaned as needed and thoroughly cleaned every Saturday.

As a single mother of three children, we lived in a cluttered, pack-rat environment. I allowed my children to clutter their rooms "because at least they did well in school and school was more important than them having to deal with cleaning their rooms" (I rationalized). I was fairly successful in keeping the common areas only cluttered, but not filthy. Two of my children tend to be 'clutter bugs'. I sense a feeling of frustration from one of my children, and three of my grandchildren, which seems related to clutter.

I am finally a recovering pack-rat and mild hoarder. When I would actively hoard, the old adage of "Waste not, want not" would come  to my mind. So I would keep pens, pieces of paper, home office supplies, etc. I used to keep magazines, newspapers, and articles 'because I may need to refer to them later'.

Also, the side effect of three years of depression after the death of my stepson resulted in several straight immobilized days. Many times during those years, I sat on a sofa for hours. I didn't get up to eat, drink, or bathe. So, I certainly didn't have the emotional or physical energy to deal with the environmental accumulation.

I stated all this to indicate that I have an idea of events that can lead to hoarding.

Thank God that I am on the path to try to de-clutter, and simplify our co-existence with "stuff", while trying to maintain a healthy desire for having a spacious, pleasant environment.

We are currently shopping for a replacement mattress set in order to rest better, and replacement living room furniture for a more pleasant, comfortable area in which to relax. I am trying to decide whether to have a garage sale or give away the rest of the "hoarded" items that are usable.

The decision is to weigh the time/effort it takes to have a garage sale against the immediate result of de-cluttering the accumulation. Considering that I am temporarily disabled and the current economic environment, which choice to make is difficult. But, I plan to make the decision within a couple of weeks and follow through with with fervor!

I feel that a person's unsecured debt could become a problem as the result of a person becoming a hoarder. 

Suggestions that I have related to the segment are (1) Rather than going through the extreme costly detoxification of the houses and storage places, that they be disposed of and replaced--there is most certainly rampant mold and mildew. Also, replacement of the belongings seems advisable so that mold will not contaminate the 'new' spaces. (2) that the children be placed apart from the "hoarders" until the time that counseling/behavior modification has been enacted by the adults. By doing this, it can give the children a reprieve from being in the middle of the toxic adults.  (3) The animals do not seem to be a priority. If they are truly unwanted--give them to a no-kill shelter for adoption. If the animals are wanted, an outside sheltered area should be constructed for them, considering that they are not house-trained. The current housing situation isn't even good for animals.

I know that the healing and modifications can take a lot of time, but it will be well worth it in so many ways! Go forward as you look to a more rewarding existence.

Wow....you may not have meant to sound condescending....but you sure did! "People in the projects are cleaner than that"? What does that mean? Are you saying that people who live in the projects are dirty, but they are cleaner than that?

And why would you assume that because they live in the projects they are less clean than those who don't?

Think about what you say before you say it.

Dear Dr. Phil,

I'm a sporatic watcher, not a consistent one.  When I heard the topic of todays' show I resolved to watch the full program.  It was hard to watch.  Am I a hoarder?  Yes, to some degree but I couldn't touch the depth of todays lady.  I do admit to considerable clutter though none of it is food.  Mostly books, magazines and unfinished projects.

I haven't always agreed with some of your solutions but do feel you care about your guests and a productive, successful outcome.  For nearly 20 years I was a renter in a property owned by my brother.  He stopped by one day without calling and the house was not up to muster.  His first comment was, you need to get this place cleaned up.  I did start working on it with the help of my daughter and one of my sister-in-laws but it wasn't going fast enough for him.  Approximately a week later he stopped by again and announced that the following Saturday I was to find somewhere else to be because he was recruiting my other siblings (I'm one of eight) and having a dumpster delivered and they would be clearing out the apartment.  It's amazing what was missing when I returned to my apartment.  Come to find out he had a deadline because he was putting the house up for sale.  No I was not told there was a deadline or about the sale.  I really went into a slump after that.

I have been a high school business teacher now for over 25 years.  Currently 58.  No excuses here just information, in 1998 I had the my second of two strokes.  I had a very poor doctor at the time and ended up retreating into a depression I was never warned about.  I was admitted to the hospital on a Monday, stayed four days, discharged Friday and returned to work on the following Monday.  I had asked when I could return to work and was told "When you feel up to it." 

Feeling up to working had no part in it; I was brought up with a very strong work ethic.  You have a responsibility to be at work and if not you better be on your death bed.  No other reason to miss work.

Needless to say, I experienced considerable difficulty upon my return to work.  Three weeks later I made an appointment to sit down with the neurologist that attended me while in the hospital.  I conveyed my difficulties:  (1) memory loss (2) physical and emotional exhaustion (3) constant and increasing anxiety and stress levels (4) considerable confusion.  I was too tired when I got home to do housework and was literally sleeping all weekend just so I could make it through the next week.  When I asked him what I could do about it his response was, "Get over it!"  I think back now and wish I still had some of my youth brass.

My parents, God bless them, have both passed and where children of the depression years. . . nothing was ever thrown out if there was a slight chance it would be useful later.  BUT the house was always neat and organized so how did I end up like this?

I believe I can attribute my clutter to my extended levels of anxiety and depresssion and health issues (as noted above plus Type II diabetic, severe sleep apnea (awake 43 times per hour average) now have a CPap to use and am on 90 mg Cymbalta daily.  What do you think?  I have no interest in becoming a show participant but would welcome a brief response if you can find the time.

I'm currently on summer vacation and will check periodically to see if you have any words of wisdom for me.

Chris

This woman is clearly incompetent.  She thinks she is the only person bad things have happened to and she wants extreme sympathy.  She is sick and needs to be treated as an inpatient.  She doesn't have normal life skills to be able to deal with anything bad.  EVERYONE - everyone has HORRIBLE stuff happen to them - many much worse than this woman.  She is tooooooo full of excuses.  She needs help.

Everything - absolutely everything except for maybe pictures, should be cleared out and thrown away from that home with a backhoe.  The kids should be sent to relatives or something, they have to get out of this.  It is abnormal and she is being so very weak and pathetic and has sunk to a level of self pity that is out of this world. 

I cannot believe they are not all diseased.  So pitiful for all of them.  But she needs help and they all probably need therapy, they have to take these kids from her - please tell me they did...

:(

Leslie

Kathie,

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I so agree that these people are let off easily.  Let's hope officials in this woman's town have these children removed and this woman condemned.  She is pathetic and full of excuses.  I have no doubt she is mentally ill, but I don't buy it as an excuse for her loathesome self-pity.  She is much more worried about how she is portrayed than she is about getting help or being a decent mother. Pathetic.

I hope your heart heals in time and that you have many good memories.

Leslie

Is someone going to check the clean up progress?  There needs to be several unscheduled checks over a long period of time.  These children should not have to live in that mess!