I have never written in, but was at the computer and thought I had to speak up. I am so very disappointed at the missed opportunity Dr Phil and this entire family, and audience had. Transgender folks are real, they are a part of our society, they are people we love, work with, socialize with, and as time goes on, you will come to know moreand more.
People TALK of how tolerant they are. How they are Not prejudice. How they raise their children to respect and treat all others equally....Oh, but apparently that only stands true if the person is Not someone who will directly effect their life...People are ranting on here about the fathers' distance and lack of emotion... Try this: Sit in a quiet room, close your eyes, spend 10 minutes truly imagining being there, in that position with this situation, under the microscope, being judged, and then told by your own children that they dispise the sight of you. After likely years of agonizing, never feeling able to be your true self, he comes out and has all fears confirmed and is truly and totally rejected. Worse than that he is now accused of being nothing more than a selfish scum who cared nothing of his family. How do you think you would react?..well, considering I'm sure you wouldn't even give up 10 minutes to try the exercise I'm sure you can't come up with an honest answer...Well, I'll tell you, that is NOT what I saw. I saw a man who was trying desperately not to lose ground. He most likely has been working hard on learning to accept himself...and dare I say even to be proud of who he really is. working thru therapy, support groups, anyone who will help. Don't you always hear people tell others "you should Never be ashamed of who you are!" "Being different is what makes the world great!" and the like.. Well in just this 1 hour, all of this progress, work, learning to accept and move forward with true identity was now all being threatened. And not just by ignorant strangers, but by his own children, And Dr Phil..Not to mention the audience who cheered at every dig.
I Certainly understand the childrens confusion, anger, and needing to move THROUGH the grieving process. However, validating that their unwillingness to accept him now, does nothing more than vindicate their feelings of prejudice.
Is it easier to have a non transgender parent?..sure. Can they wish it was 'Someone else's parent?...sure. But THEN after all that wishing, they need to move thru it all, to where they can reach Acceptance. This can be, and Has been done before with many families. They have come thru to the other side better off than they started at times. More families will go thru this again and again as time goes on with more folks 'coming out'...
Just becasue a situation is very different from the 'norms' that one is used to and grown comfortable with, it doesn't give everyone license to preach judgement. Rather in Needs to be an opportunity to look inward at how we Ourselves respond to differences and what each of our own responsibilities are to aid bridging the gaps. By encouraging these children to look at their own father with disdain and disgust because he doesn't look like their old dad or like many other dad's...you yourself have become part of the problem.
Realize that mistakes a transgender parent makes in parenting may simply be Parenting Mistakes...it's even possible that the person isn't a good parent.. (altho I am not saying that in any way, its only for a point) It is much more likely that the mistakes are related to poor parenting skills..the same ones that all of us run the risk of failing at one time or another with our kids...The mistakes aren't caused by transgenderism.
And no I am not transgendered. I just hope to Truly teach my children tolerance. I hope you can say the same.
(Original Air Date: 04/29/08) Christina, 21, and her younger sister, Carlie, 13, say they had a close relationship with their father, Michael, until two years ago when he decided to transition to a female. Michael was a police officer, soldier and loving parent who lived his life as a male for 40 years. Now, he wants his daughters to call him Mom, because he says Dad is gone, but they refuse. Michael, who prefers to be called Kayla, says she wants to explain to her daughters why she's living as a woman, but they've never given her the chance. The last time Christina saw her father was two years ago when he showed up at her work in lace and blue jeans to break the news that he's transgendered. When she sees Kayla onstage, does she greet her with open arms? Next, Carlie joins her sister and father. She says she wants her old dad back, but will she feel the same after seeing Kayla? Can the father-daughter bond be turned into a mother-daughter one? Be prepared for an emotional journey as two daughters struggle to understand how someone they say loved so much could hurt them so badly. Talk about the show here.
