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Topic : 08/04 Daddy Drama

Number of Replies: 1404
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Created on : Friday, April 25, 2008, 03:00:17 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/29/08) Christina, 21, and her younger sister, Carlie, 13, say they had a close relationship with their father, Michael, until two years ago when he decided to transition to a female. Michael was a police officer, soldier and loving parent who lived his life as a male for 40 years. Now, he wants his daughters to call him Mom, because he says Dad is gone, but they refuse. Michael, who prefers to be called Kayla, says she wants to explain to her daughters why she's living as a woman, but they've never given her the chance. The last time Christina saw her father was two years ago when he showed up at her work in lace and blue jeans to break the news that he's transgendered. When she sees Kayla onstage, does she greet her with open arms? Next, Carlie joins her sister and father. She says she wants her old dad back, but will she feel the same after seeing Kayla? Can the father-daughter bond be turned into a mother-daughter one? Be prepared for an emotional journey as two daughters  struggle to understand how someone they say loved so much could hurt them so badly. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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April 29, 2008, 7:13 am CDT

Why?

 I have always wondered why people have such a problem with issues such as this? The children act as if she did this to them, to punish them for something.....did anyone else get that, or is it just me?  This is her life, and if she is happy, and not ACTUALLY hurting anyone else, than let her be!! If that were my father, who had a sex change, I would love them no matter what....as I expect he would love me if I professed myself to be homosexual!! I can't fathom how hard this was, for Kayla (sp?) to come on national TV and basically out herself to anyone who didn't already know. Hopefully she is comfortable enough with herself in this matter? Do the children think of that? Of course not, it's all about them....I am a single parent of 3 wonderful children, ages 12 (f), 6 (m), and 8mo (f).....if any of them were to, later in life tell me they were going to go through this, I would be behind them 100%....no matter what, because that is what UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is all about!!
 
April 29, 2008, 7:19 am CDT

04/29 Daddy Dramas

Dr Phil if all mike has done at this point is take hormones, the surgeons will not have to do very much. he do look like a she, but i still find real women more attractive, guys if you run in to this one in a bar beware if she don't want to be hit on she looks like she could pop the top of a big can of whoop ass, lol i cant amagine how this hit his daughters most likely like a ton of bricks falling on you from 500 feet up.

 
April 29, 2008, 7:25 am CDT

So disgusted

My heart absolutely goes out to these girls. Their father said he has felt this way since he was 12! Then why get married and have children? How dare you do that to those girls.
 
April 29, 2008, 7:30 am CDT

They are all hurting and confused!

Quote From: housewife52

I don't think it's fair to call these children selfish. It is a lot to take in and accept that thier father is now living life as a woman. I have 2 grown children and they are very close to my husband. I have to believe that it would be very hard for them to accept if thier dad decided to become a woman. It would be something similiar to a death, except that, with these girls thier dad has died and come back as a woman. They need to have time to mourn the dad that they have lost. Perhaps with time and counseling they can come to accept this "death", so to speak, and learn to understand why their father needed to do this. This is not something that thier father can force them to accept. I think they have to do it on thier own terms. In the end they will either accept it or they won't.

 

 

 

I don't think the kids or the dad are bad people. They obviously love each other and that should be what counts! I'm sure it has to be a very confusing time for them all! They need counseling to help them through this...after all, they are still parent and children, regardless of the "shell" that the parent is in. If Dr. Phil was a "real psychologist" he would have focused on their love and went from there and not played the blame game!

 
April 29, 2008, 7:35 am CDT

He's NOT asking them to call him Mom!

Did some of you even watch this show?!

 

He is not asking them to call him Mom.  He told them that they can call him by his new name, they can call him "Aunt", they can call him whatever they are comfortable with.....except "Dad".

 

His children don't want to call him anything.  They want nothing to do with this man, who, by their OWN ADMISSION  was a good father, a role model, and their best friend! 

 

The 21y/o has serious issues, and definitely needs some therapy.  She should not be allowed around the younger daughter until she can keep her negative opinions to herself.  She can certainly choose to have her own opinions about her father, but for her to express them to an impressionable 13y/o is unacceptable.  In my view, the younger daughter needs her parent, and has an opportunity to renew her relationship with that parent, provided that no one is sabotaging that possibility with snarky comments and disdain.  All she's worried about is who's going to walk her down the aisle!  Why CAN'T it be her father, in his new form?  If she truly loves him, it shouldn't be a problem.  And if that's her biggest worry, she's years away from being mature enough to get married anyway.  Marriage doesn't allow it to be about ME ME ME....to make a marriage work, you have to be able to think about and provide for the needs of someone other than yourself.

 

The 13y/o needs help as well, with a qualified therapist who has dealt with some of these issues before.  She needs to understand the pain that her father suffered for so many years in order to give her the dad she needed.  She needs to understand that he can still be there for her in the same ways he was before. 

 

As I said in another post, this man did not handle the situation well.  But his older daughter is making things worse, and Dr Phil should have addressed that.  This man was being defensive because Dr Phil was attacking him because he didn't cry and was allowing him to be attacked by an adult child that he had raised, in front of an impressionable younger daughter!  How is THAT going to help anything?  They need positive intervention and guidance before this poor 13y/o loses any chance she may have had to have a reasonably good relationship with her second parent.

 
April 29, 2008, 7:45 am CDT

04/29 Daddy Dramas

Quote From: gammy58

In my eyes, "he" is a she. NO man can ever really get pregnant! "He" is having a baby because "he" was born a woman.  He is NOT a he. Yeah what a world we live in.......
you know what? if aliens ever come to this planet they will be more confused than i am  lol, i do not know what the hell to think about this world any longer, people are swapping parts like a auto junk yard, damn what a world we do live in,
 
April 29, 2008, 8:37 am CDT

Christina and Carlie

My heart goes out to these two young gals. They were honest and open with their feelings on their dilema with their father. They are in alot of pain, and I hope they will be helped with counseling. They are very mature for their young ages. It took alot of strength to face their father on the show today.

 

Michael should look in the mirror and see what he/she has become. Yes, you are selfish, stubborn and haven't an ounce of compassion. Your daughter's poem broke my heart and I don't even know her. You are so fortunate to have been given 2 beautiful daughters. You became their father and acted like their father for years. If you wanted to be a woman so damn bad then you never should have married. You only care about yourself and not your daughter's feelings. I only hope that you'll get the counselling you need before it's too late. Your daughter's deserve so much more then you are giving them right now.

 
April 29, 2008, 8:38 am CDT

Daddy?????

Dr. Phil,

I have to wonder how the dad would feel if he "lost" his father?These girls are so confused, which I think is what led to the anger and hurt they are feeling.

I think the dad should not have had children if he was feeling like this as a young man. It was very selfish of him to marry and become a dad if he had these feelings.I feel that was wrong to do to the women he married.And then to bring children into his confused state of mind,was very selfish of him! These children didn't ask to be born into his confusion.

 
April 29, 2008, 8:42 am CDT

04/29 Daddy Dramas

Instead of chasing skirts, he's now wearing one....

 

Well, regardless, it can't be easy being him. Since none of us can imagine what it's like unless we've walked that path, it would be wise to reserve judgment about how it feels to believe you've been born in the wrong body, and then go against society to change your gender.  Can you imagine how hard it must be to face your macho police and military buddies with make-up and a skirt on?? and to face your wife and children who now despise you?

 

It's NOT a choice for this man...he was born that way. His daughters will have to learn to understand this new situation and try to deal with it if they want any kind of relationship, hard though it may be.

 

Knowledge is always power: if it were my father (or mother) who wanted to change gender, I would read everything available on the subject so that I could THEN decide how I wanted to handle it, and hopefully find some peace about it.

 

I do believe it's wrong to marry and have children if you know you are in this situation....you have no right to mess up the lives of others....but, people make wrong choices all the time....some more wrong than others. Once it's a fact, you then have to deal with it as best as you can.

 

What other choice do you have? 

 

 

 
April 29, 2008, 8:45 am CDT

04/29 Daddy Dramas

Quote From: afraid

you know what? if aliens ever come to this planet they will be more confused than i am  lol, i do not know what the hell to think about this world any longer, people are swapping parts like a auto junk yard, damn what a world we do live in,
Haven't you figured out that the aliens are ALREADY here?! Take a good look around! 
 
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