Topic : 08/04 Daddy Drama

if you are referring to me [michael],i have no idea what your talkin about,i am not jaded,if your referring to the lady then nevermind! 

If Kayla wants understanding and respect from the children, than she has to be willing to give it back. Its a two way street. You can't expect these children to try and understand her point of view, if she's not willing to understand theirs. The children need to understand that this is a feeling that has been supressed since childhood, and should take the challenge to learn about being trans-gendered. Kayla needs to take the time to understand the impact his/her transition has had on the children, why it affects them, and understand that it may not be comfortable for them to think of her as anything but dad. Instead of being angry and defensive, education, empathy, listening, and compassion would help this family emensley.

Thank you very much for your care and concern.  You are one of the few people on this message board that understands the impact that a decision like this has on the children.  As for Michael working hard to support his children?? Hah !!  Christina and her little brother are in college.  He hasn't been supportive in that area either.  I believe he needs therapy in a big way.

When you have kids your life is about making them happy, no matter what you have to give up.  You owe that much to then after you brought them into a life they did not ask for.  I cant believe how cold and disconnected he seemed it is hard to imagine he was ever a good FATHER!

What a teribble cold and heartless father.   He is tossing his beautiful daughters away, so he can find his true self.  He will always be a man who dresses like a woman no matter what.  Surgery and switching from penis to vagina will not satisfy him.

 

He was as emotionless as a rock..everything is about hIM.  He has abandoned and destroyed his daughters hopes and dreams.

 

Who wouldn't be proud to walk those beautiful girls down the isle?  As a father not as a man dressed like a woman.

or maybe we are all just computer generated people and a alien hacked her fathers account and has taken over , the alien must be a woman and wants to make his body match.

Are you living on Planet Earth? Men are absolutely socialized to not cry in public... it is seen as a sign of weakness. In order to not cry in public... which is more frightening to a man than anything... he needs to convince himself to not care.

At best however, some do a wonderful job pretending that they care. It is obvious to me that you have never been married.

So the oldest daughter said she missed her dad and he/she asked her what it was she missed and what she wanted from him as a dad and her answeres were:  fun, funny, and a whole bunch of other adjectives...so why the heck can't she be all that but also be a female?  I realise that these girls have been through a great shock but grow up and stop being so selfish.  They don't have their dad in their lives because they CHOSE to throw her out of their lives.  I just hate how she felt she had to explain herself for not crying!!!!  Gimme a break. 

 I am very sad for these girls. I have two neices that have gone through this with their "dad". It has been hard on them. It has been hard on the whole family! My "brother-in-law" did this at age 54. I am sure his reasoning is the same as Mcheals. He still says his daughters are FINE. beleive me they are not. He got married to a woman a year before he had the surgery and the daughters were a mess. He complains about paying for therapy for his girls! My mother and father in law are in their eighties and are having an extremely hard time with this. I can say if it makes him/her feel "right" fine but to expect everyone to be OK with it is denial. My husband shares a business with him so we don't have a choice in taking some time out to deal it is in our faces daily. My husband is dealing with it as best as he can. He has to support our large family, but it has hurt our marriage and family, like a big pink elephant in the middle of the living room and so hard to ignore but even harded to talk about. To say it is more main stream please, it is not. I wonder how Micheal can have surgery if he hasn't done therapy. Doctors are not supposed to do the surgery unless he is evaluated! I am sure he can fly somewhere else and have it like my family member did without living a whole year dressing and living as a woman in all aspects of his life. The doctor did it anyway. I am sure he lied. I have to tell some of my older children soon and believe me I wish I didn't. The world is hard enough. Thank you Dr. Phil for giving a voice to the others in pain in the family when this happens. Most shows that touch on this only give the good side and paint pictures like everyone is ok with it and it was not painful. There is a better way to go about dealing with this then Micheal did or my brotherinlaw did. They might change genders but if they were selfish before that does not change and is magnified at least in my family it has.

 

If she was able to see that life isn't roses and can be downright crummy, she wouldn't be rejecting her father and making the problem worse.  And you wonder why Kayla isn't emotionally invested in someone who is going to reject who she is?  The poem is just more ammunition to distance herself from Kayla.  Should she have wrote it, sure, but it just

 

She's a 21 yo ADULT.  She's an adult, and needs to learn some emotional maturity (they all do, but especially the girls).  They should decide to stop being a byproduct of their biological mom's bitterness (which I highly suspect is the case) and decide that they want a relationship with their father before they lose that chance.  They don't have to agree with it, but they'll regret not salvaging the relationship with Kayla later.

 

Kayla shouldn't need her daughter's approval to the point that the relationship is determined on that basis alone.  She should have been straightforward about it in the first place, and showing up at someone's workplace to tell them about it wasn't the right venue for that.  She could have been the bigger person and let herself be vulnerable to rejection.  There's a lack of emotional maturity in that on both sides, and the way she handled it, was kind of tacky, IMO.

 

At 21, I was more of a realist than her, I was more of a realist at 16, so it's hard for me to see why she can't deal when there are far worse things in life than "dad wants to be a woman".  If she doesn't come to that realization soon, she could very well end up losing that relationship.  Maybe being "scorched by the world" would be good for her, it would give her an iota of compassion.