Quote From: melissa0859What a stunning display of ignorance. As she said, "Do you think I just woke up one day and decided this would be fun?" If her decision was the cowards way out, then tell me, what were the other options? For many with GID, the only other option is to not live. Would that have been more noble to you? Kayla obviously loves her children. Trans people often wait this long BECAUSE of their children. The other reasons include fear, denial, or lack of courage to be who they know they are. As a male to female transexual, I can tell you that our friends and family are ALL we think about, most of the time. Do you really think we don't think about all of this? That we don't agonise over it? Don't cry our hearts out? Don't postpone because of the hurt we know will result? Do you??? People do get hurt when someone transitions. It is for the most part, unavoidable. And for the most part, as I watch this program, I don't think too many in the audience, and certainly not her daughters or the host, are really listening to her. 3 times, the host has made a clever comment, leading to audience applause. This issue is more complicated than that. She is hurting, and would love to have her daughters back.
I do not agree with Kayla's decision to go ahead at the expense of the financial upkeep of her family. In order to transition, your financial obligations must be addressed first. Not every TS is perfect and makes the right decisions. But if you look at the applause lines in this show, it isnt about that. It's about marginalizing this person, and making every part of her decision look selfish, not just her questionable financial priorities. I understand the daughter's hurt, the younger one especially. But the older one has made it clear that despite her age and intelligence level, she is NEVER going to try to understand what has happened. Every time one of these girls makes a quip about not wanting a "chick" for a father, and the audience breaks out in applause, I cringe. This is an effectively subtle way of putting this person constantly on the defensive. I realise there is a gender expert there, albeit one I have never heard of, but where is Kayla's therapist? Was she/he invited? Not one thing Kayla has said durring this show has been met with any positivity or compassion.
Dr. Phil's assumption that he can read her every emotion is troubling. What is she to do? break down crying? beg? Perhaps she has, and cannot do it again, and be rebuffed. There is a history here that we will never know every detail of. I am not saying this person has handled every problem and hurt feeling well, I suspect that she has not, at times. But all I'm hearing from her daughters, is "you should not have done this. you need to be a man again". Absolutely no attempt to understand this issue. And again, whenever they say this, the audience cheers.
As transexuals, most of us have travelled a long and rocky road to get where we are. It is not our intent to make anyone uncomfortable, or to hurt our loved ones. That breaks our hearts. I know as I go forward, the prospect of hurting some loved ones, and losing some friends is breaking mine to pieces. To transition, and be me is not a choice I have. How I handle it is certainly within my power, and I hope I find the strength and sensitivity to move forward responsibley. But in my opinion, we are still viewed as selfish jerks and borderline freaks for needing to be who we are. The way this show was handled, for the most part, confirms that for me. Kayla has made some mistakes, but didnt deserve to be on the wrong end of every assumption durring this hour. We still have a long way to go, obviously.
I was wondering why Kayla wasn't asked about or didn't mention, a therapist. Surely she has one. Maybe that's why everything is off kilter, maybe she doesn't have the best therapist that she should have. This is kind of a stand-off at this point. The daughters' side is very important and needs to be recognized and addressed. Kayla's side is very important and needs to be recognized and addressed. DrP DID tell Kayla that he had resources he could offer but he didn't go further to say exactly what they are and ask her if she would take the help. And I agree, Kayla should make more of an effort to at least pay the child support.
How and where can they start to heal this? I can understand how the girls feel. They just simply don't want thier dad to be a woman. Can they get past this, and if so, what can be done to help them get past it? I feel that it is as if thier dad has died or is dying of a terminal illness, in thier eyes. Will they need to go through a mourning process, as we have to do in the event of an actual death? What can Kayla do to mend the fence and try to get them to understand how she feels? They cannot be forced to accept this, they have to come to an understanding on thier own by some means.
Kayla IMO came off as wanting a relationship with her daughters , but only her HER terms and I don't think that's going to work, do you?
(Original Air Date: 04/29/08) Christina, 21, and her younger sister, Carlie, 13, say they had a close relationship with their father, Michael, until two years ago when he decided to transition to a female. Michael was a police officer, soldier and loving parent who lived his life as a male for 40 years. Now, he wants his daughters to call him Mom, because he says Dad is gone, but they refuse. Michael, who prefers to be called Kayla, says she wants to explain to her daughters why she's living as a woman, but they've never given her the chance. The last time Christina saw her father was two years ago when he showed up at her work in lace and blue jeans to break the news that he's transgendered. When she sees Kayla onstage, does she greet her with open arms? Next, Carlie joins her sister and father. She says she wants her old dad back, but will she feel the same after seeing Kayla? Can the father-daughter bond be turned into a mother-daughter one? Be prepared for an emotional journey as two daughters struggle to understand how someone they say loved so much could hurt them so badly. Talk about the show here.
