Topic : 08/04 Daddy Drama

This is the first time have ever actually wanted to post a comment, regarding a Dr. Phil episode. I am in Australia and have only just seen the episode on Transgendered girl Kayla (ex Michael), and his two daughters (aired in the U.S. on 4/29/08?). I want to comment, as the topic is close to my heart, I am also transgendered.  

I am disappointed in Dr. Phil. Usually, I'm happy to see his shows, normally getting a good balance when more than one party is involved. A bit of insight, both professional and personal from Dr. Phil, assisting people to then make a reasonably educated judgement on things. Unfortunately, this time Dr. Phil failed the test. I was disgusted at the way he conducted this story. Absolutely no real understanding of true transgendered issues. A few years back, I saw a show of his on a similar topic, he was naive to the point of embarrassing. Over the last few years, when similar topics were being discussed, I noticed a trend in understanding from Dr. Phil. My thoughts along the way...it's about time people were made aware and be informed..thanks Dr. Phil. What happened with this episode??

When the Dr. Phil show, has one of the most unique means to convey information to 'the people', blows a topic such as transgenderism, it's dangerous. The world has had the blinkers on for too long on this one. Dr. Phil, as with Oprah, have the means to do right and educate...accurately. Oprah treats the transgender issues with far more respect. She will admit, 'hey, I don't know, but I want to..'. This way, she learns from the source, and her viewers learn the same. It is the way the transgender issue needs to be approached. NO-ONE can expect to know or understand these issues, unless they have the same running through their veins. Don't judge how someone did or didn't address the issue with family, or how they should or should not have lived, had children or not had children... It is a long, confusing existence, striving to suceed as the male, be a good parent etc. In an attempt to simply adhere to societies guidelines. The path to transition is not chosen, hell why would anyone want to put themselves,  their family or friends through this?

Do what you do best Dr. Phil.... get both sides so people can understand and learn from this. Don't sensationalise one aspect of this type story. Yes, it's very hard when children are involved. But, at least they know who they are as individuals. How do you think Kayla (and myself) felt, at the same age when we didn't know who the hell we were. Doesn't that rate a mention? Your show highlighted the very reason it was impossible for people like us, to come 'clean' with the issues we suffered as children. That entrenched naivety that people just don't seem want to get past. Dr. Phil, you are positioned with a unique means to assist in the removal of the 'blinkers'. Yes, the children are extremely important, but don't make it the only topic. Sometimes, in cases like this, when an individuals life literally may be hanging on it, it may have to be 'Family A Close Second'. Maybe you can write a book on this topic one day, really make people understand and accept it. Whether people like it or not, it's real! :-)

My "Father" decided that after years of crossdressing, in private, he was "supposed to be born a woman". Mind you this was just after my mother had died suddenly.

I've had no time to grieve my mother or the loss of my "father" either but he/she doesn't understand this.

After many years &  new baby I decided to make contact in a large shopping centre, so as if I was uncomfortable I could walk away. That was 2 years ago now, we now have a realtionship of sorts but its more of not thats he's my parent but more that I'm his protector.

I miss my "father" so much but this is all I have and my children need to now their grandparents, no matter what he/she is.

But don't anyone dare judge these girls unless you've walked in their shoes, they feel betrayed, disgusted, confused, grief the list goes on & it never stops.

I still to this day find it extremelly hard to let this person into my life and across the threshold of my front door everytime & I don't think this will ever change because of the betrayal I still feel hasn't been addressed by my "father"

Good luck girls with what ever you choose to do with this but its you choice, no one elses.

And believe me its hard work, if you let this be apart of your life.

I think it's awful for these young ladies, I can sincerely understand the way they are feeling. As a parent this man should be ashamed of himself, not because he chose to change his gender but because he should simpathize with his daughters. They already have there mother but need there father. I'm sure they can eventually accept the way he looks some day but want the dad they have always known. He may have changed what he looks like on the outside but doesn't have to change who he was on the inside with his daughters.

I saw this show when it first aired

These girls should be happy to still have this person in their lives whether he is a he or a she..The person who loved them and took care of them as children and whose blood still runs in their veins deserves to be able to live the life he or she chooses .....They will be so sorry when this person is really no longer there..Get a grip girls  take him as he is you might not have him for that much longer

If you are not a transsexual, then you have no idea what you are talking about.

It is hard to figure out, before you realize that you are one.

Before you admit that you want to go for the body adjustment, you always first think about the loved ones.

When you finally have the courage to come forward, it means that this is the last resort.

I know this, because I looked lik a woman first and now I feel and look like  aman.

It was the best thing I ever did.

Yes, I was a transseual from female to male.

if all you Christan do gooders believe god does not make mistakes ...Then how come baby's are born missing fingers and toes .. or sometimes with missing limbs and how about with facial deformities . i guess thats because there was sin in the parents life and god is punishing them .. after all god does not make mistakes . therefore he did that for a reason. and if you let the children get there surgery's so they can live a " normal " life in society then why can't those of us who were also born in to the wrong bodies .

god loves me just as i am .. after all god made me this way .

in my humble opinion everyone should stay out of the girls lives and let them deal with there dadymom. just for the record my children love and accept me just as i am . and they still call me DAD i don't care..

When people decide to have children, it is their choice, not that of the future child. Children do not just need parents until they leave school they need  them for life.

Adult children have problems too and often these problems are far worse than the problems they had as little children.  It is a wonderful feeling to know that one's parents still love one and still are there in the worst moments of their lives.

This father managed to live as a man for forty years.  What was so pressing that he had to turn his children's lives up side down at this point in his life?         I see it as the ultimate selfish act.  Could he not have done this discretely? He obviously does not live with them, or they would have seen this long ago.

I find it to be outrageous that he feels he can turn his back on them and ask them to treat him as someone completely different.  For what?  What is he trying to do?  What is he hoping for that they will love him how ever he behaves and looks?

He is the only father they have or will ever have, so he is robbing them of their father and expecting them to just be happy with his choice?  It is like expecting a child to come to terms with the death of their father.

It has been 26 yrs since my own father died.  I still miss him terribly and at the important times of my life and that of my children, I so would have wanted him to be there.

I think this father has not thought at all what this must be like for his daughters.  As their only father he had no right to rob them of their father and expect them to be pleased.  Will they come to terms with this?  Maybe!

But they will be robbed as I was of my father.  Something you learn to live with, over many years of grief.  But why do this to people you love?

Why put them through so much grief, if you have managed 40 years.  So he says he could not wait any longer, well at some point he accepted it, and he chose a macho job.  He could have worked as a hair dresser, and the idea of him changing could have come more slowly.  But to be a cop and then become a woman is really too much to expect them to take in.

His act will have a dramatic effect on what they see as the truth in life.  It will destroy their trust in anything.  They see one thing but what they see is not real.  How will they cope with this and come to terms with their whole life being made up of a lie. This could actually destroy them.  Has he even thought of this.  has he sought counseling to help him help them deal with this? I do not think so.

Lets say he stays on this path, and they go into the future with this amount of change and are unable to cope with their lives and relationships and they destroy any hope of happiness because they can not trust anyone or anything.  Will this desire of his to become a woman been worth it?

I can only put the blame on Kyla, for not sitting the girls down to explain to them how he as a father was changing. The worst he could have done was ask the kids to accept his going about as a woman when going out at nite until the girls got used to him cross dressing. I am trying to say that the dad could have took one step at a time. Now the problem is how do we get the girls to calm down? If they love their dad and want him around they will have to work out a deal like for instance ask dad to dress up nutrally infront of their friends and when going with to the grocery store for a start as well as councelling for the whole family.