Topic : 08/04 Daddy Drama

Number of Replies: 1406
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Created on : Friday, April 25, 2008, 03:00:17 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/29/08) Christina, 21, and her younger sister, Carlie, 13, say they had a close relationship with their father, Michael, until two years ago when he decided to transition to a female. Michael was a police officer, soldier and loving parent who lived his life as a male for 40 years. Now, he wants his daughters to call him Mom, because he says Dad is gone, but they refuse. Michael, who prefers to be called Kayla, says she wants to explain to her daughters why she's living as a woman, but they've never given her the chance. The last time Christina saw her father was two years ago when he showed up at her work in lace and blue jeans to break the news that he's transgendered. When she sees Kayla onstage, does she greet her with open arms? Next, Carlie joins her sister and father. She says she wants her old dad back, but will she feel the same after seeing Kayla? Can the father-daughter bond be turned into a mother-daughter one? Be prepared for an emotional journey as two daughters  struggle to understand how someone they say loved so much could hurt them so badly. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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August 4, 2008, 12:30 pm PDT

Too whiny

This is an extremely complicated situation at many levels and I don't pretend to understand it nor am I in a position to judge.  I can understand all the feelings of everyone involved BUT  I do have to say that the older daughter in particular is a whiny baby -- in a day in age when kids of this age have long been aware of gender issues it surprises me that she is not a little more understanding or at least willing to accept things - she may not like it but I think she is cold and callous.
 
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August 4, 2008, 12:33 pm PDT

Disappointing

I understand this issue to an extent, but since I don't have the disorder I can't say I can really get all of it.

I am disappointed that Dr. Phil hasn't stepped up to explain gender dysmorphia and side with the father more.  Any person is the psychological field worth his salt understands and can defend and explain this issue.

The girls have a point to a certain extent, but they seem like selfish little girls given their ages.  There is more to this issue that what they call the person who is their father.  They would rather have him dead as a man than alive and somewhat happier as a woman?!  That's the height of selfishness.  I wish Dr. Phil would dig into them and set them straight.

I hate to tell the older girl, but she has her father's last name, he doesn't have hers.  She's way too old to be as stupid and immature as she sounds on this show.

 

COM'ON DOCTOR PHIL!!  Address those girls and make them stop attacking their father for his disorder.  Are you just not able to do it?  You should help these people and you are just sitting there like a bump on a log.

 
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August 4, 2008, 12:40 pm PDT

08/04 Daddy Drama

The daughters are young, but at age 21 I think the older one could begin to have some empathy for her father's situation.  I hope they all get into therapy--separately and perhaps eventually together.  The father hasn't handled the situation well at all, but to think that he could go back to living as a man to make his daughters happy is crazy.  I also think Dr. Phil has a particularly snippy tone to his voice today as well.  The older daughter's anger is manifested in a very ugly self-centered sarcastic way.
 
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August 4, 2008, 12:41 pm PDT

08/04 Daddy Drama

Quote From: mimaof2brats1

come on girls grow up let your father go on with his life with or without you its his choice

and dad how can you do this to your daughters ???? you were a police officer for crying out loud dont you have any self respect for yourself??? have you always been like this ???? why wait this long ?? why didnt you do this along time ago before you got married or had children why make them suffer

i think you took the cowards way out  shame on you

I think this is absolutely ridiculous. I think that they should help this man. It must be very hard to come to this realization and everyone is being very insensative. These girls are being very selfish and no one is helping them understand. This is the same thing as saying, well girls i need you to dress and become a boy because i wanted a boy. OK He should be paying child support, and he should be availiable to spend time with them. The older daughter is so judgmental. She is slinging accusations and how is he supposed to respond. This intolerance is ridiculous. Would people understnad better if they were like stop being gay cause you need to be my father... you need to be a man's man. I understand they are hurting, and he needs to be paying child support, but everyone needs to be insensative. This is who he is. I just find it completely appauling how he is being attacked when he is asking for help. This is who he is and it is wrong to tell hiim to be someone other than himself.
 
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August 4, 2008, 12:43 pm PDT

08/04 Daddy Drama

Quote From: fabrat

You're not going to get any sympathy here and you know that. God made you who you were born as for a reason.
God made us more complex than that.  Who are you to think you know what God intended?
 
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August 4, 2008, 12:45 pm PDT

Not that it matters.............

   Not that it matters but this is my opinion on this matter. I feel that this particular father is wrong in what he has done. I feel that any father that does this is wrong. If you already know or suspect the feelings of being trans-gendered, then you should not marry and produce children. That is extremely unfair to them and they didn't sign on for this. They didn't ask to be born but yet, you made that decision for them. It was a conscious decision on your part. Look at the two girls here on the show today. Don't they look and sound like they are hurting? They are true victims in their fathers choices in life. They no longer have a father. And how dare he call himself a victim too? That is as selfish as it gets!

   As to the idea of men or women being trans-gendered? I have no problem with that and I feel that everyone should have a right to do what makes them happy as long as it doesn't hurt others. That's exactly why you should never have children, it hurts them deeply. If you want to do this, if you have no choice, then stay single until you decide what is right for you. Why is that so hard to do? I realize that this is not the same thing as being gay. But gay people shouldn't get married to the opposite sex either, just to try and hide their true feelings and desires. That destroys families also.

   It's fairly normal for a man or a woman to choose to not marry in todays society. So why bring this added burden into the mix. It has the potential to destroy other's lives and is not fair.Stay single, get a job, and save the money to do what you need to do, have the surgery. Then go ahead and get a job as the opposite sex. What is the big deal in that? As I said, I have no problem or judgments towards people in this situation at all. Whatever makes you happy is what counts. Just be sure and be responsible in your choices in life.

   And to the father on todays show. Not paying child support because he needs the money for his new look, medical bills, and future surgery, that is NO excuse! Shame on him! And concerning Dr. Phil's comments on the show, I feel that he was spot on and he has the exact same views that I do. He chose to have those two girls and his responsibility with child support and "paternal" duties did not end when he decided that it was now "his" time. And for this father to show up at his daughters job? Why did he have to humiliate her like that?

 

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August 4, 2008, 12:50 pm PDT

Moosh.

I Blame Society!

Maybe If People Were More Understanding About The Whole Change, Especially The Girls, They'd Still Have Their Father.

It Was The Label Of The Father They Probably Missed, Because If They Missed His/her's Personality, I doubt It's Changed.

..

 

Only If The World Was Blind, There'd Be less Superficiality.

Then Again, The World would Probably Be On Fire..

Ouch. :)

 
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August 4, 2008, 12:50 pm PDT

Give the guy a break?

Quote From: jmbrannon

Maybe this man didn't handle this in the best way, but what is the BEST WAY?  If he had informed his daughters beforehand, I doubt they would have been any more supportive.  Give the guy a break!  They've never walked in his shoes.
Are you kidding here? What was the best way to handle this? To not have children in the first place! Of course they shouldn't have to be supportive, they never asked for this and why is it so hard to understand that they actually might want a "normal" father like everyone else has! And yes, they have walked in his shoes, he's probably walked in theirs when they weren't looking. You expect empathy for this man, but where is the empathy for the girls here?
 
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August 4, 2008, 12:51 pm PDT

NO!

Quote From: jmbrannon

How can anyone pass judgement on this man?  He was miserable for years, playing a role to enable him to fit into society.  He just wants to be happy and you can't blame him for that.  Come on, get off the guy's back.  I realize this was a shock to the daughters, but I'd think they would want their father to be happy.
No, they want their father to be a man!
 
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August 4, 2008, 12:55 pm PDT

I am angry............

I am supportive to people who have problems such as this but good grief, have some empathy for the children here! I am really angry over the support that this man is getting and how everyone thinks they should get off of his back. His supporters have deep sympathy and empathy for him but feel nothing for his daughters. That is a very selfish attitude and it makes me sick!
 
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