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Topic : 08/04 Daddy Drama

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Created on : Friday, April 25, 2008, 03:00:17 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/29/08) Christina, 21, and her younger sister, Carlie, 13, say they had a close relationship with their father, Michael, until two years ago when he decided to transition to a female. Michael was a police officer, soldier and loving parent who lived his life as a male for 40 years. Now, he wants his daughters to call him Mom, because he says Dad is gone, but they refuse. Michael, who prefers to be called Kayla, says she wants to explain to her daughters why she's living as a woman, but they've never given her the chance. The last time Christina saw her father was two years ago when he showed up at her work in lace and blue jeans to break the news that he's transgendered. When she sees Kayla onstage, does she greet her with open arms? Next, Carlie joins her sister and father. She says she wants her old dad back, but will she feel the same after seeing Kayla? Can the father-daughter bond be turned into a mother-daughter one? Be prepared for an emotional journey as two daughters  struggle to understand how someone they say loved so much could hurt them so badly. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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August 4, 2008, 2:27 pm PDT

08/04 Daddy Drama

Quote From: PennyLane78

And what do you propose she do about it NOW?  Should we have the kids executed because she never should have had them in the first place?


Excellent point. This woman fought this urge for who knows how many years and is finally doing what she needs to do to identify with herself.


 
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August 4, 2008, 2:27 pm PDT

Kicked in the gut

Quote From: canada69

You really missed the boat with these kids and their mothers. The mothers are doing nothing to help their girls - just making the situation worse.

The 12 year old should be right out of this discussion, but the 21 year old needs to grow up.

All the statements she's made have just inflamed the situation. Maybe the father could have handled this differently, but with the angry nonsense spilling out of the kid's mouth - no wonder he doesn't know what to say.

All discussion of child support should not be talked about in front of the young one. Where are the brains of this mother?  Is it her that is so hurt that she has to inflict this attitude on her daughter?

There are lots of people in this world who have changed from one thing into another and the children have just learned to accept it.

He is still the same father that they always had if they would just open their minds and hearts to him, Possibly the mothers could help the girls understand the change he has gone through. Not for his sake but for the girls sanity and mental security.

 

This man effectively divorced his children just as he divorced his wives.  But this was NOT his only choice.  Did he seek counseling to determine how he could wait long enough to finish raising his daughters?  Well, that never came up.

 

But what he did is no different from choosing to move to another country and telling his children, "Sorry, I just don't want to be with you enough to stick around." 

 

Yes, a lot of people do that, and they leave emotional carnage in their wake.  Asking the children just to "accept" being abandoned, or blaming it on the mothers is ignorant.   He made a commitment to them the day he gave them life.  Not only does he want to abandon them, he also wants them to be happy about it.  And support him in totally rejecting their feelings about it.

 

You're right, though, about one thing.  A lot of people make changes that result in leaving the children to do all the suffering.  Just ask any child of an addict of any kind.  The level of selfishness in this man is the same.  He is willing to do what he wants no matter who it hurts or how much it hurts them, and he is cold enough to reject them if they can't be kicked in the gut and smile about it.

 

 

 

 
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August 4, 2008, 2:27 pm PDT

08/04 Daddy Drama

Quote From: jmbrannon

How can anyone pass judgement on this man?  He was miserable for years, playing a role to enable him to fit into society.  He just wants to be happy and you can't blame him for that.  Come on, get off the guy's back.  I realize this was a shock to the daughters, but I'd think they would want their father to be happy.
he sure as hell doesnt give a damn if his kids are miserable now does he????????????????
 
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August 4, 2008, 2:28 pm PDT

I'm with the daughters

My dad was also a policeman for 25 yrs.  He was a cross dresser and wanted me to help him "dress up", comb his wig etc.  when i was only 15.  Nope no way.   I would gag when he would dress up around me.   It was disgusting to see.  My father wanted to be my mother.  I cannot tell you how horrible this was for me.  I was 17 when he explained it to me but it didn't make any difference.  I still hated it.   He made my skin crawl when he did this. 

He gave no thought about how I might feel about it.   He was selfish, just like this guy.  I can't tell you the turmoil I was in.   He put me through hell with it and when he was discovered out of the house in drag he told everyone I knew about it for many years.   I was then crucified by family members for it.  Selfish jerk fed me to the wolves.  

Lily
 
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August 4, 2008, 2:29 pm PDT

08/04 Daddy Drama

Quote From: PennyLane78

And what do you propose she do about it NOW?  Should we have the kids executed because she never should have had them in the first place?


HUH What are you talking about? you dont even make any sense at all. stupid comment.
 
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August 4, 2008, 2:30 pm PDT

08/04 Daddy Drama

Quote From: mimaof2brats1

come on girls grow up let your father go on with his life with or without you its his choice

and dad how can you do this to your daughters ???? you were a police officer for crying out loud dont you have any self respect for yourself??? have you always been like this ???? why wait this long ?? why didnt you do this along time ago before you got married or had children why make them suffer

i think you took the cowards way out  shame on you

Dr. PhIl,

 

Don't foget to mention the clinical aspects of GID gender idnentity disorder its manifestation and representation in combination with underlying personality disorder. Don't blame the patients all the time.

 
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August 4, 2008, 2:31 pm PDT

Carlie

Carlie needs to grow up and understand that her father simply CAN'T change who he is...and he completely feels that he is meant to be a she. It is not his fault and in NO way did he do this to hurt her or her sister or her mother. I feel horrible for the father and I think that Carlie needs to grow up and be half-way understanding. She is incredibly stubborn.
 
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August 4, 2008, 2:34 pm PDT

08/04 Daddy Drama

Quote From: redrosie30

I can't believe that Dr. Phil, a person who is chosing his rooads  in life is not being more supportive of Kayla.  He should know that is has been proven that people can be born physically one sex but mentally another.  If Kayla is doing it wrong maybe there should be more offers of help in teaching him better ways to cope and to help his children cope but I don't see any of that. Those girls are hurt, understandably but one of them is 21.  Shouldn't she be a little more mature than to snipe at her parent?  Those girls are disrespectful and lathough they are hurting they should still be held to a standard of being respectful, I would not allow my children to speak to anyone like that.  How about educating the children on transexuality?  Many children live happily with their parents choice after they accept it and learn about it.  I think those children are being selfish to ask their father to be something he is not.  He made those children adn married in the past to try to "do the right thing" according to society, when does Kayla get to teach the world tolerance or acceptance.  This is a very real issue and needs to be approached with care and understanding not judgments and accusations.
i COMPLETELY agree. I am completely disappointed in Dr Phil and I feel HORRIBLE for Kayla.
 
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frustrated
August 4, 2008, 2:36 pm PDT

Communication is two-way street

I hate when grown men tell their teen or young adult children that communication is a two-way street.  The young lady is correct he's the father in the situation and should reach out to her not the other way around.  My ex did the same thing and all this does is alienate your children - they won't reach out to YOU now and possibly ever!
 
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August 4, 2008, 2:42 pm PDT

08/04 Daddy Drama

Quote From: jillejo

     I suppose we all need to learn from others. This whole thing is an eye opener. The father is doing a disservice to his family, he looks terrible, and his daughters will be forever scarred by this.

you are such a closed-minded person for saying that!  You have absolutely NO idea what it is like to have to live in the wrong body.  He took so long to transition because he was trying to make everyone happy and live his life the way PEOPLE LIKE YOU expect "men" to live their life.  Don't you understand that if he never transitioned he could've possibly committed suicide.  What kind of person are you?  You need to open your eyes and realize that you are living in the real world, and it obviously doesn't revolve around you or your beliefs!

 
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