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Topic : 08/04 Daddy Drama

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Created on : Friday, April 25, 2008, 03:00:17 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/29/08) Christina, 21, and her younger sister, Carlie, 13, say they had a close relationship with their father, Michael, until two years ago when he decided to transition to a female. Michael was a police officer, soldier and loving parent who lived his life as a male for 40 years. Now, he wants his daughters to call him Mom, because he says Dad is gone, but they refuse. Michael, who prefers to be called Kayla, says she wants to explain to her daughters why she's living as a woman, but they've never given her the chance. The last time Christina saw her father was two years ago when he showed up at her work in lace and blue jeans to break the news that he's transgendered. When she sees Kayla onstage, does she greet her with open arms? Next, Carlie joins her sister and father. She says she wants her old dad back, but will she feel the same after seeing Kayla? Can the father-daughter bond be turned into a mother-daughter one? Be prepared for an emotional journey as two daughters  struggle to understand how someone they say loved so much could hurt them so badly. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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August 5, 2008, 1:46 pm PDT

08/04 Daddy Drama

Quote From: jewelsf

  I have repeatedly read how Dr. Phil has "dropped the ball" on this one. I am so sick of reading this that I could just puke! The "Father" dropped the ball in this situation and no one (except the sympathetic to girls supporters) wants to put the blame where it truly belongs. I am sick, sick, sick, of this!

  Go Dr. Phil! I support you along with the two girls on the show!

I don't think this father behaved perfectly...but these two girls aren't babies. The oldest one is an adult. I have much compassion for Kayla, she lived her life, trying her best to be something she wasn't. Did she make all the best decisions? Nope. Did she mean to harm anyone? Nope. She is doing what she needs to do to care for her self now...and hopefully she can do the same for her daughters.

I think this is just too complex to put blame on anyone.
 
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August 5, 2008, 2:11 pm PDT

Why must I repeat myslef?

Quote From: jfabian

Believe me, I don't agree of supporting his decision becoming a woman.  Come on people, accept the gender you were born.  You're a male stay a male, You're a female stay a female.  What is wrong with this society.  It's just sickening. 

 

When you become parents, stay as your role was meant to be. A Father needs to be Father and the Mother be a Mother.  Not the opposite.     

Jfabian -- Mikayla *was* born a female.... between her ears where gender lies. You're looking at the outer shell, my dear man... get over the fact that what you see isn't what lies within.
 
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August 5, 2008, 2:17 pm PDT

Facts are facts!

Quote From: pebblesb

we have our opinions and you have yours
I don't have an "opinion", pebbles... this is hard, scientific FACT. The minute you realize this, the better you'll be.
 
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August 5, 2008, 2:18 pm PDT

Very well said!!!!!!!!

Quote From: PennyLane78

You are mistaken if you think that gender issues only come about if a parent has gender issues.


Good response Penny !!!! You are soooo right in this statement of yours.

Take care.

Lady Tinou.
 
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August 5, 2008, 2:31 pm PDT

Missing the point

Quote From: marlenebom

Jfabian -- Mikayla *was* born a female.... between her ears where gender lies. You're looking at the outer shell, my dear man... get over the fact that what you see isn't what lies within.
This show was not about understanding why people change genders, it was about what its done to his children, how insensitively and incompetantly he handled this. 
 
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August 5, 2008, 2:43 pm PDT

08/04 Daddy Drama

Quote From: krafty_momma7

I'm sure Dr. Phil thought he was being objective in the way he handled this situation, but he wasn't. He was clearly there for the girls and made no effort to understand what a transy goes through. This person has tried to be a man all his life. I think he joined the military and later became a cop in order to overcompensate, which didn't work. He/she wants to be close to the daughters, but they have totally rejected, ridiculed, and humiliated him/her so far. Dr. Phil criticized Kayla for not hugging the daughters. I have to wonder how many times Kayla has tried to hug the girls only to be pushed away. Dr. Phil, the daughters are NOT babies. They could have reached out to hug Kayla; I didn't see them making any effort. All of their emotions toward Kayla were negative; I didn't see any love coming from them. I did see Kayla react with patience, maintaining as much dignity as possible, to the onslaught of negativity she received from the daughters and Dr. Phil. I am not criticizing Dr. Phil for this, but he is very masculine, almost to the point of being macho. Is it possible he can't relate to a transexual? Maybe he wasn't the best person to counsel this family. I felt some transy hatred on that stage. I mean, would anyone have been allowed to treat a homosexual like that? Kayla is Kayla. Accept her the way she is now. She still has love to give, but she can't go back to being a man. It's not fair to expect that.

It wounldn' t matter if he was gay or not, and it doesn't matter that he is a transgender his parenting skills are lacking big time. He doesn't get a pass because of his transgender.

 

No, its not fair to ask him to change  back, but its not fair of him or you to expect something from his kids he didn't bother to teach, just expected them to except, even though it took him 30+ years himself to over come and except. his kids should be allowed to go though this in their own time and express themselfs any way they need too , if its being angry, hurt, confussed.Thats their right.

They don't have a right to their feeling, but he does.

 
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August 5, 2008, 2:48 pm PDT

08/04 Daddy Drama

Quote From: jfabian

Believe me, I don't agree of supporting his decision becoming a woman.  Come on people, accept the gender you were born.  You're a male stay a male, You're a female stay a female.  What is wrong with this society.  It's just sickening. 

 

When you become parents, stay as your role was meant to be. A Father needs to be Father and the Mother be a Mother.  Not the opposite.     

Why is it sickening?
 
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August 5, 2008, 2:49 pm PDT

08/04 Daddy Drama

Quote From: sgshell

This show was not about understanding why people change genders, it was about what its done to his children, how insensitively and incompetantly he handled this. 
You are right, they wrote the show, its about them and their need of their father and how he forgot that he was one. The show was not about transgenders, the parent in question just happens to be one.
 
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August 5, 2008, 2:59 pm PDT

COME ON GIRL!

Quote From: magicrandi

I just wanted to say that there is no way we can understand the torment this man has been going through for 40 years.  This must of been a burden in his heart everyday.  I can understand the girls being "disgusted" and confused.  I really hope that doctor Phil, and the help that will follow, will really help them all to understand what each one is going through and why.  The main thing I hope the girls will realize, their Dad's heart and love for them is TOTALLY the same.  It may even be able to get stronger now because thier Dad feels better about himself.  It's hard to love others when you  don't love yourself.  I REALLY hope they can all move on and just concentrate on the love they have for eachother.  After all, that's REALLY all that matters in life.  Our love for others and a family's love is the  strongest and most supportive kind.  Please move forward and DON'T loose each other over this.
I AM TIRED OF ALL THE BLEEDING HEARTS OUT THERE TRYING TO JUSTIFY THE SELFISH ACTIONS OF THIS DELUSIONAL  SICK "MAN". THE DAUGHTERS  SHOULDN'T HAVE TO TRY TO LOVE SOME FREAK, THEY WANT THEIR DAD AS A MAN AND THAT IS WHAT THEY SHOULD HAVE.  THAT IS THE ONLY WAY THERE WILL BE RECONCILATION.  STEVE  **** P.S.  READ SOME OF THE RESPONSES FROM THOSE WHO PERSONALLY KNOW THE MAN/WOMAN.
 
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August 5, 2008, 3:07 pm PDT

to Tina

My dear, there's nothing I can say that can help the hurt you must feel, but you have to realize your father has had to dear with a hurt for over 40 years.

He was told his entire life that he was a man and men are supposed to act a certain way. Not to cry, not to show emotion, not to enjoy the pretty things you have your entire life.

You may think it selfish and petty now, but wouldn't you rather have a happy person in your life rather than someone miserable and sad all the time?

I knew what I was when I was before 9 year old, Tina... and I was able to reject all those messages from society many of my sisters and brothers couldn't. Maybe your dad's family had high hopes for him... maybe he did it to try and quiet those voices in his head that said "You're a girl!".

Just remeber that none of this is your fault, nor your sister's. It's the fault of a society that can't grow up and embrace it's gender varient children and adults, vainly trying to squeeze their round pegs into a square hole.

I'm begging you to contact your local chapter of PFLAG, Tina.... the more knowledge you and your sister have, the more understanding for the hell your father has had to deal with her entire life.
 
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