Topic : 08/04 Daddy Drama

Dr. Phil said he saw a lot of sniping going on, and absolutely no show of emotion on Kayla's face.

From where I was sitting, in front of my TV set, the only sniping I saw was from the daughters, and I certainly saw a lot of anxiety on Kayla's face, plus an amazing lot of control.  The daughters appeared to me to be two bad actresses.  Just my opinion.   

I can only imagine what Kayla is going through, and even then that wouldn't be doing her justice, because I can't really understand how these things happen, and if they are real or what.

Michael didn't seem to have any female traits in the physical sense, but said she felt feminine in her head.  I guess I would have to study psychology to understand how that could happen, and study Michael as a personal case,  and even then I would have questions.  We seem to be more accepting today of a lot more things, as long as nobody has to die for it.   

I was thinking that maybe he shouldn't have gotten married and had children, if he wasn't sure of who he was, or even if he ever thought that eventually he would go through these changes.  He probably also broke the news to them in the wrong way.  If it was me, I certainly wouldn't want my parent to show up at my job as he did.  Sometimes it might take years to adjust to news like that.  Maybe some people never adjust.   

Okay I have been pretty quiet to just sit back and read the boards but with how close to home this topic is I feel the need to chime back in. I just have a few things to say so please bear with me and at least hear me out.

1. It's a huge shock to everyone, not just the daughters to have a parent go through this. Being transgender is just as hard on the person going through it as it is those around them. Trust me I know this. I have lost my family, my marriage, jobs, and friends. It is a very tough and painful process to have to go through.

2. Being transgender is not a decision that one makes. It is more or less knowledge that something is not right. The best way I have heard it put into words is this, "When you wake up in the morning how do you know who you are? Before you look in the mirror, and before you move a muscle.... during that first concious thought.... how do you know you are YOU? You just do, right? You dont need to be told, you dont need to look in the mirror, and you dont need to even open your eyes.... you just KNOW that you are you." "Being transgender feels no different. When I arouse from sleep every morning, before I even roll over to mash the snooze button I just KNOW that I am a woman. I just know it.

3. With number 2 being said I would like to wish Mikayla a safe journey on her path to happiness. This is not a path that is easy to travel or completley understood. We are still forging this path every day!!! So my hopes are that Mikayla is involved very closely with a liscensed therapist at the very least, is monitoring her health and is surrounded by supportive friends.

Keep your head up and Mikayla and remember that it can get better.... dont sit around and wait for it to fix itself though. You have to make it happen.

P.S. - Next time you come out to people especially family try not to do it in a public place, like their job. IMHO that is.

Thanks for that Penny, as I said it was more or less a platform to show something

You make a really awesome point as well. Most people simply don't realize that there are more trans people integrated into society than they are aware. I've often read comments about how we "don't fool anyone" and we stand right out or the worst the preverbial "Man in a dress" description Chances are if you are dealing with a Transsexual woman we aren't wearing dresses. This doesn't mean that some don't but the majority of us just live normal lives. I'm more of a T-shirt and Jeans girl for instance.

One of the scariest parts of transition for any trans person is the fear of not passing or not fitting in. We live with that fear because of the way closeminded people view us and honestly, we don't look to be spectacles.

Lastly,

I feel bad for these girls to some degree. I think that this whole issue was handled poorly and things were said that has left pain on both sides. I for one have never requested that my daughter call me mom, I am her dad and she refers to me as such. I refuse to take that away from her. By the same token we also have an understanding that in public she can't yell Dad from across the mall because it really confuses people and makes muncomfortable.

For those that think 12 is too young too undertand something like this. You're very naive and in fact 12 year olds have more of a grasp on reality than you expect. If brought up open honest and loving this subject is a non issue for most. It becomes an issue because some parents choose to make it an issue.  Children have more acceptance and compassion than most adults. Transition is an issues that cam be worked with successfully.

For those that have the idea you only live for your children, you've missed the boat of life. If I had that mentality I would already be dead. I was a parent (by accident) at 19. I chose to be repsonsible and her mother and I raised her. If I were to follow your roadmap for life then it would have been over for me without ever having a chance to live.

I love my daughter to death and would give her the world but it is unhealthy to not take care of my need

and that of my wife. Kids are important but they do not always come first, that's a dynamic issue.

The bottom line is that I hope Kayla finds enough balance to support her children and get them help if they need. It is however selfish to assume Kayla should go back to living in inner hell to plaease other people.

To all who are falling all over themself and patting themself on the back and who is  trying to be so politically correct,  You are so transparent, and willing to make excuses for  this person wrong actions as a father who truely drop the ball here.

So when you are done patting yourself and making yourself feel good for your deed, and jump off the high horse. Look at this person as a = and not someone who is helpless, and judge them for their action only.

he/she  broke every rule to being a parent and every rule there is about coming out to their familys and his action are the reason for the children reaction.

No reason to march on this one or lock arms, he made this bed with his children and  he needs to find a way to fix it, and be the parent .