Message Boards

Topic : 07/25 "It's My Baby Too!"

Number of Replies: 1870
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, April 25, 2008, 03:02:03 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/30/08) Attention men: If you have a child on the way, or dream of being a father some day, you don’t want to miss this show! A little-known law could keep you from having any rights to your child. Bryce and Esther dated for one month before Esther became pregnant. Bryce says he wanted to marry Esther and raise their child together, but Esther says she wasn’t ready to be a mother. When they broke up, Esther decided to place the baby for adoption without informing Bryce. When Bryce finally learned his daughter was born, she was already seven days old and placed with another family. Now Bryce is fighting to get his child back, but because of an obscure law in his state, he has lost his rights as a father. What law did Bryce fail to comply with that even the lawyers in this case weren’t previously aware of? Is he unfit as a father, or is this law unconstitutional? Bryce and Esther’s lawyers give their opinion. Plus, the grandparents at odds over Esther’s decision face off. Don’t miss this heated discussion and learn more about the Putative Father Registry! Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

August 13, 2008, 1:08 pm CDT

07/25 "It's My Baby Too!"

Quote From: PennyLane78

Then child support from unwed fathers should be abolished. If they get no rights they shouldn't have to pay. PERIOD.
I agree! No rights, no child support!
 
August 20, 2008, 1:05 pm CDT

Selfishness

Esther: I think that you are very selfish.  You could have given the parents of Bryce the choice to adopt her.  I also wonder if this is because of the money that you will get from the adoption.  It is impossible for you could have get pregnant on your own so the father have the right and the first choice to adopt his child.  How convenient is that....and they are trying to keep the baby's FATHER away from the baby because of a law nobody knows about.   You have the right to see the child as much as you want to and still you choose to visit the child only ones or twice a month (want kind of mother are you). I can’t have children of my own but I will never take someone else’s child without the consent of the FATHER AND THE MOTHER.

 
August 23, 2008, 9:42 pm CDT

That is easier said than done!

Quote From: cyncritter

These tugs-of-war only hurt people, and can also damage the child at the center.

If he wants to raise a child, why doesn't he find a woman, settle down, get married, and have one together? This kind of custody battle can drag on for a long, long time, keeping everyone in limbo, including the baby. The baby needs to be the FIRST in consideration. If the family with whom the baby is placed is a good family, then that should be enough to make everyone happy.

Emotions affect babies. When everything is in chaos around the child's custody, if affects all the signals that child is getting from her would-be parents. This is not an It's-mine-and-I-have-a-right-to-have-you situation. This should be about what's the very best for the child.

I cannot believe that this comment came out of someone's mouth. 

 

Let's see you have a child and it pass away and than have someone say just go have another. You obviously do not have a child or you would have never said just go find someone else and have another child.  If someone kidnapped my child I would be furious to have someone tell me

"FORGET OUT THAT CHILD JUST GO HAVE ANOTHER"  ARE YOU SERIUOS?

 
August 31, 2008, 11:41 pm CDT

07/25 "It's My Baby Too!"

Quote From: PennyLane78

"Why wouldn't he instead of breaking an adoption not negotiate with the adoptive parents for visitation instead of ruining her life and theirs by being selfish."

SELFISH!?! Wanting to raise his OWN DAUGHTER makes him SELFISH?! No, he's not perfect. But the fact of the matter is...that is HIS daughter and he should have a say in what happens with her.

If men are going to be stripped of parental rights at the whim of the mother then there should be NO such thing as child support. I consider myself pretty damn feminist, but my feminism doesn't make me STUPID. I get sick of women have all the rights when it comes to reproduction and children. This woman made as many mistakes as this man in creating this child. WHY should she have all the rights and he have none?

If she chose to keep the baby, he'd be forced to pay child support. If she chose to abort he'd have no say. She doesn't want to raise the baby herself...so she give it to adoptive parents...and he gets NO SAY in it.

It's RIDICULOUS.

No parent is perfect. NO PARENT has a flawless past. If we start taking away parental rights based on past transgressions, based on single parenthood, based on dangling genitals then watch out court system...if you think our courts are over loaded NOW with people's private B.S. Just you wait!
AMEN!

First I have to say that in no way do I condone his being with this woman 1 month and conceiving a child. BUT, it happened. He didn't use protection, and neither did she.

If this guy is stepping up to the plate to take responsibility for this child, why should anyone stand in his way. On one hand the world wants to rid the earth of dead-beat dads, and then on the other, if any one of them tries to be a father, (unless they've REGISTERED!...ugh!) they're slapped aside. It seems the only thing men can be good for according to some feminists is to get you pregnant, and then if you want us in your life, all is good, but if you don't we either pay child-support or allow you to abort/adopt our child.

Pathetic what this world is coming to. I'm fortunate enough to have a wife with a sensible mind and wonderful mothering skills of my 2 soon to be 3 children, and respects and values every bit of parenting I give our kids and partnering i give her.

Also, don't get me wrong, if a man walks out on his kid, I think he's pathetic and worthless, but how can you tell a man that is trying to be a father to his children that he doesn't have the right to. I didn't know that every child that is born is fist owned by the government, then by the mother, and then... oh wait, IF THE FATHER REGISTERS< then by the father.
 
September 1, 2008, 12:04 am CDT

3 jobs

Quote From: getrealtime

I'm tring to see what you see, but i'm sorry I can't just say sence there are other crappy parents out there, let give another child to another crappy parent to be fair. Why? you always here if we could just know who the crappy parents are and help the children, but here they want to throw the child at him when he himself said he can't raise her.

 

what has he done to get her back? if I was him I would be working 3 jobs setting up a home to bring her to, taking classes  on parenthood I would be doing all those thing to show the court i'm serious about wanting my child back, and I'm sure his lawyer has told him this, because without it he is not going to win, but he does none of those thing, Why?

 

If he is not willing to do those thing now to get her back, what is he not going to do when no one is  watching, think of the child first,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you even think about what the heck you are saying? If he's going to work three jobs, then what does he want his daughter for? He would be working 24/7 and then paying a babysitter 24/7, the child may as well stay with the adoptive parents.

I think its sad that you would even insinuate that he has to prove that he wants his child, hes on the show on national television saying he wanted the baby. Shes the one who acts like most of the deadbeat men out there, not taking responsibility for what she created.

And I don't want to hear the whats best for the baby crap, she didn't even TRY to raise the baby well, so how can anyone say that its the best interest of the baby? There have been young people to have children and to provide everything the child needed.

Ugh, I think I should stop reading on this subject, it infuriates me!
 
September 1, 2008, 12:07 am CDT

07/25 "It's My Baby Too!"

Quote From: mcglone80

I don't know where to start...

I certainly don't want the baby uprooted out of the house and family where she is at now, but then the father should have just as much right as the mother.  So I feel even though its totally not fair to the father in this whole situation but give him visitation.  I know it probably sucks for the adaption parents but you can't tell me they didn't know the situation before they enter and offered to adapt the baby.  All the parent envoled, apadative, real, etc. need to have the baby's interestes at heart.

I feel this law is only going to cause more problems then it well solve.  I am not quite sure what need to happen in place of it but, this not going to help the situtation with single mothers and have father want to be a part of the childs life with laws out there like that for women, to use where ever it suits them.

Infants are very resilient, I doubt there would be any harm to the infant with being placed back with the biological father, bonds would be made, after all, infants are adopted at all ages, and respond quite well to the adopted parents although they may have made bonds with original parents, foster parents, and orphin parents....
 
September 1, 2008, 12:08 am CDT

UGH!

I can't beleive that you must REGISTER to be a father. How insane. Why do you have to take any sort of initiatve on a registry to show that you are interested in the parenting of your child? I would think that your DNA would obligate your parental right. It should be 100% assumable that if you have a child, you want to be its father. It would be more appropriate to register if you you did NOT want to be a father. I am so offended that anyone would question my right to my child, or even tell me that I would have to register to have legal right to my child. The child has my DNA, it came from me, I created it, and I have to register for it????

Look, I realize there are a lot of dead beat dads out there. I know there are a lot of men that are not fit to be parents, but how dare you take that information and nail it to the forehead of every father out there and just automatically assume that if you are not a dead beat dad you will register as so. Wouldn't be easier to make a registry where if you did not want any obligation as a father, you could register and relinquish your rights.

I"m sorry, I'm going over and over the same thing, but how dare anyone assume that because I didn't register, I don't want my child. Not to mention a little known registry. Who would assume that they could create a life and not have rights to it.

I guess I'm not even writing and ranting so much about this particular situation, I'm ranting about what could happen to me. My wife and I are young. I'm 22 and shes 21. We have been married 3 years and have a 2 year old and a 9 month old. We have a wonderful marriage and think it very unlikely that we would divorce as we have different values than many of our peers (and this is not to speak of anyone who does have the same values, or that we don't acknowledge that the rate of divorce is very high and very few young couples make it through, we recognize the challenges, we are just determined to respect the value of it)... that aside, I can't imagine the idea in the unlikely even that we divorced, anyone would question my legal right to my children based on whether or not I registered to be their father!!!

Maybe I need someone to further explain this to me. I commend this guy for fighting so hard for his parental right. I don't think he abused his parental right.

Then again, I disagree with the comment that a single guy shouldn't have to be responsible for finding out whether or not the person he slept with is pregnant. While I disagree with premarital sex, I also understand that the world values are much different, not rightfully so, but that isn't going to change the way the world does things. So, if a single man is going to have unprotected sex, then I think it is just as much his responsibility to follow up with the woman to find out if she has become pregnant. On the same token, I don't understand how a woman could secretley abort a pregnancy without the permission of the father. i understand its her body, but in my mind, the woman (who understands that unprotected sex can lead to a pregnancy) who says its okay to have unprotected sex (and the same to the man) says its okay if she becomes pregnant, and therefore the right for control over her body in the realm of pregnancy. I just can't understand how she can say I want your sperm but don't want you to have anything to do with what I decide to do with it. If she wants the sperm inside her, then she shouldn't have a problem with the baby inside her, because it kind of goes hand in hand...

I'm sure I just started something, and didn't mean to...

All in all, I'm just greatly offended that someone would place a blind assumption on me based on some other person dead beatness. Just because someone else doesn't respect or value parenthood doesn't mean that I don't and no one should be allowed to assume that I dont.

In my opinion, having a child should obligate you to parenthood... Legally. You should be legally obligated and if they wanted a loop whole, why not make the registry for those who don't want to be parentally obligated!!!!!!!!!

SOrry for the rant.. I would fight to the death for my kids. They said this guy freaked out at people he thought was trying to adopt his baby. I can't beleive someone would be comfortable adopting a baby when they knew the parent wanted their baby, there are so many kids out there where neither parent gives... adopt a child that needs to be adopted.
 
November 19, 2008, 11:43 am CST

I am so sad for you Bryce

Hello,

 

This show aired today in Holland (thats where I live) and I am totally flabbergasted by what has been done to this poor father! If he is an unfit parent the judge should have ruled on that, not the grandpa! I am a woman myself but I dont understand why laws in your country see a woman as a goddes simply because she has an uteris. If a DNA test proves you are a father, you are a father. A FATHER. No law could ever change that! If a father wants to raise his child, why not.  I have a bad past too (addictions) but I am totally sober now so I believe people can change. It is not up to them to judge about you Bryce! I dont know you but I totally believe it is possible to become sober and do the right thing. Why need a piece of paper to get parental rights when all you need is a freakin DNA test to prove  you are the father.

 

Sometimes i feel ashamed to be a woman. Watching todays drphil was one of these moments. A woman never has to sign any paper, and if a woman gives birth to a baby no way in hell a law would allow the father to take the child from her, and adopt it to someone else without consoling mummy dearest. Why doesnt a woman have to sign a paper declaring she wants to be a mother? Because she has the child in her belly? Come on!!!!

 

And why on earth is it ok for a judge to get child support from a biological father that didnt sign? Its sick and twisted. If I trick a guy into getting me pregnant by saying Im on birth control when in fact I am not, or if i pinch a tiny hole into a condom, I can persue this poor guy for child support while I can deny acces to the child at the same time! OMG! Why doesnt anyone see that women can be manipulative devious creatures sometimes? They are treated as being weak and in need of protection by such ridiculous laws. Fathers speak out! You guys need to fight to end these kind of laws.

 

Bryce if you read the messageboards too, big hug to you and I hope you can see your daughter soon! I also hope you find the strenght to remail sober. you can do it!!!

 
December 13, 2008, 10:51 pm CST

07/25 "It's My Baby Too!"

Quote From: meryl1983

Hello,

 

This show aired today in Holland (thats where I live) and I am totally flabbergasted by what has been done to this poor father! If he is an unfit parent the judge should have ruled on that, not the grandpa! I am a woman myself but I dont understand why laws in your country see a woman as a goddes simply because she has an uteris. If a DNA test proves you are a father, you are a father. A FATHER. No law could ever change that! If a father wants to raise his child, why not.  I have a bad past too (addictions) but I am totally sober now so I believe people can change. It is not up to them to judge about you Bryce! I dont know you but I totally believe it is possible to become sober and do the right thing. Why need a piece of paper to get parental rights when all you need is a freakin DNA test to prove  you are the father.

 

Sometimes i feel ashamed to be a woman. Watching todays drphil was one of these moments. A woman never has to sign any paper, and if a woman gives birth to a baby no way in hell a law would allow the father to take the child from her, and adopt it to someone else without consoling mummy dearest. Why doesnt a woman have to sign a paper declaring she wants to be a mother? Because she has the child in her belly? Come on!!!!

 

And why on earth is it ok for a judge to get child support from a biological father that didnt sign? Its sick and twisted. If I trick a guy into getting me pregnant by saying Im on birth control when in fact I am not, or if i pinch a tiny hole into a condom, I can persue this poor guy for child support while I can deny acces to the child at the same time! OMG! Why doesnt anyone see that women can be manipulative devious creatures sometimes? They are treated as being weak and in need of protection by such ridiculous laws. Fathers speak out! You guys need to fight to end these kind of laws.

 

Bryce if you read the messageboards too, big hug to you and I hope you can see your daughter soon! I also hope you find the strenght to remail sober. you can do it!!!

Sadly more people in America need to think like you!!  You are so right on alot of things and it is truly a shame good luck in satying sober!!  A father in America
 
June 10, 2009, 10:12 pm CDT

planning

This story definitely shows how it's best to someone your own age and know someone a while before you have sex! Esther and Bryce are idiots because of the 15 year age gap and how young she was.
 
First | Prev | 182 | 183 | 184 | 185 | 186 | 187 | Next Page | Last Page