Message Boards

Topic : 06/30 Inappropriate In-laws

Number of Replies: 248
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, April 25, 2008, 03:04:05 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 05/01/08) When couples tie the knot, they don't just marry each other; they get hitched to their spouse’s entire family. But what would you do if your in-laws were demanding, condescending and sometimes violent? Bambi hasn’t spoken to her daughter, Kendra, for two years, and she blames her son-in-law, Adam. Bambi says she and Adam got into a heated argument in which she not only slapped him, but also went looking for a gun to shoot him! Kendra says her mother was way out of line for physically assaulting Adam and doesn't know if she can change her controlling ways. Bambi says Kendra is dead to her — and even built a makeshift gravesite in her yard to symbolize her grief. The irascible in-law says she's desperate to reconcile with Kendra -- but not Adam. Will the couple accept her terms?  Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

June 30, 2008, 12:10 pm CDT

Crazy Grave Digging lunatic should have NO contact with children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The crazy mom who dug graves for her daughter and grandchild should never be allowed to have contact with that grandchild.  I fear she will be left alone with the child and will murder her for revenge for the paranoid fantasies that she has about her daughter and son-in-law.

 

She has delusional fantasies about killing, maiming and injuring her family and I would not trust her with any child (or adult for that matter).  All she talks about is hurting or killing people who she should be grateful to have in her life.  I think she needs serious help and i would have absolutely nothing to do with her if she was my mother...mainly for the sake of the grandchild who should not be subject to this obviously sick, evil and disturbed woman

 
June 30, 2008, 12:22 pm CDT

06/30 Inappropriate In-laws

I hope to God she never rally has to bury a child. I buried my Son (23) last year after he died in Afghanistan. I don't wish this on anybody  and hope she woke up and realised how crazy this is !!!
 
June 30, 2008, 12:39 pm CDT

Crazy Bambi

I am appalled and offended at the idea of Bambi putting gravestones in the yard.  From a mother who really did have to bury an 18-year-old daughter, she has NO idea what really losing Kendra and Annabelle is.  It's all about her.  She's nuts.She needs to let go and let them live their own lives.  It's obvious who has the sound minds and which one is psycho.  I think Adam is smart in not trusting her. 
 
June 30, 2008, 1:21 pm CDT

CAN YOU SAY HELP!!!!!

This young couple need to run run run this women needs HELP.............she has issues.....this poor guy does not have a chance to do right she is insane...... I wonder WHY she has been married 4 TIMES.

Kendra and Adam move again but this time leave no fowarding address take your  baby and run.

 

By the way your baby is a real doll. Enjoy her time flies by before you know it she will be off to college. Enjoy your family and do not let ANYONE ruin it.

 
June 30, 2008, 1:31 pm CDT

Inapproriate in-laws

Bible says that a man leaves his father and mother to cleave his self  a wife. The Mother is rude and need to forgive her daughter. Daughter has to take care of the baby and her husband. Her Mother should respect her. Her Daughter is old enough to make her own decisions.
 
June 30, 2008, 1:33 pm CDT

I'm watching parts of my life

This is a familar story to me.  I'm an only child and my mother would play the same games with me as Bambi does with her daughter. My mother passed away 5 years ago and I'm still coming to terms with what games she played just to keep me to herself.  When I moved in with my now husband she fought it so hard cops were involved and I had to just leave without taking many of my personal items that I know she sorted thru.  After that my mother and I didn't speak for months, but she would leave me horrible voice messages at my job, talk to other people and have them attempt to talk to me, had a letter from her lawyer mailed to me stating we couldn't be on her property or law enforcement would be called. 

After her death while I was sorting thru her belongings I've found so many things that only proved to me I was the love of her life - not her husband and my dad.  I'm in therapy trying to sort thru all of this and sometimes I get furious because I'm realizing her problems were not mine, but were projected onto me.   

 
June 30, 2008, 1:41 pm CDT

I AM SPEACHLESS

I just watched the show of inappropriate in-laws.  I thought i was the only daughter in the world with this extream of a problem between my mother and husband.  I have not had any contact with my mother  in 4yrs. It was the hardest thing i have ever had to do, but felt it was nessasary to keep my children safe from her emotional havoc and to save my marriage.  I watched with my eyes wide in the statements that were made by Bambi.  My mother has made the same remarks, everything is my husbands fault, she is never to blame and an innocent victim always.  At the same time she rails that she will "win" in the end, with him dead or in jail, and the children turning away from us.  I live in termoil everyday.  How can you love someone, but be unable to let them be a part of you life?  We are to have forgivness in our hearts.  I have forgiven her for the fact that she is mentally unstable and needs help to heal.  But is it true forgiveness if I cant let her in our lives? I also fear her.  I know what she is capable of and am afraid that she will in fact get to my children and "poison" them.  I also fear that she will do something someday to my husband.  My heart aches for Kendra.  I felt every bit of her pain as I watched her on the show.  She is a strong woman and I wish her all the best.  No matter what that may be.  Letting her mother back in or keeping her out.  The letter she wrote Bambi was so true and close to me that it felt as though I had wrote it myself. 
 
June 30, 2008, 2:28 pm CDT

why weren't some questions asked?

Dr. Phil

What did the son in law do to cause Bambi to hit him? (Not that it's okay to hit.) Apparently it was very serious and would have hurt the daughter. He never stood up for himself in that matter nor was he honest about his behavior.

 

I have a similar challenge in my relationship with my daughter. I recognize that she and her husband are adults and make their own choices. I have learned that since I do not contribute financially to them, that I am the 'low man on the totum pole'    I cannot afford to, nor do I believe we should pay our children's bills (they are over age 30 and employed).  As time has passed, my daughter does not like it that her in-laws pay for things thereby making them obligated to the in-laws.  Since my husband and I have offered to pay for career counseling for our son-in-law, we are all of a sudden more a part of their family.

 

In the past my daughter has treated me terribly when I have had some serious surgeries. Not even a phone call to see how I was doing. When I had neck surgery and discovered a couple of days before the surgery that I was not to be alone for ten days (I was single then) I asked if she could come and help me over the Thanksgiving holiday. She stated she was unable to make any changes to her holiday because she was cooking dinner for her in-laws. (They contribute greatly to their financial well being). She also treated her grandmother terribly while she was dying from cancer.

 

I have learned that I cannot count on her to be there, emotionally supporting family, if I was in serious trouble (ie..homeless, severly ill). We have developed what I would describe as a 'casual' relationship. If it is convenient to her schedule, or the in-laws schedule, she will take a little bit of time to be with me when I am in her home town. As a result, I have learned to live my life and love it. I am missing wonderful time with my grandchildren and they are missing some great people in their life, my husband and I.

 

Granted, I could have been a better mother, nothing serious, but I feel we all wish we were better parents. Life shows us what we could have done to make our past better, but oops! too late, but it's what we do in the future that counts. My prayers is that this 'thing' that seems to be generational doesn't continue any longer in my family. But that is up to my daughter to choose to be loving to everyone.

 

I talk to so many mothers that have similar situations. Why does this happen between women? Do we need to be a 'cave women, marking her territory' to be a good wife? Why do we have to hate someone we really love in order to leave? As mothers, what can we do to help our children leave and still love, respect and honor their parents?

 

 

 
June 30, 2008, 2:49 pm CDT

A CHILD SHALL SET YOU FREE

MY GRACIOUS PARENTS & GRANDPARENTS,

 

I AM A 61 YR OLD PARENT OF 3 LOVING CHILDREN (38, 30, 26) AND 3 WONDERFUL GRANDSONS (11, 6, 2). I HAVE EXPERIENCED MANY EPISODES OVER THE YEARS WITHIN MY FAMILY AND WITH MY PARENTS AND WITH MY WIFE'S PARENTS. NOTHING LIKE THAT PORTRAYED IN TODAY'S SHOW. KENDRA AND ADAM ARE THE HEROES HERE AND BELLE....WELL, IF YOU WATCHED THE SHOW, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO SAY.

 

THIS "BLESSING FROM GOD" CHANGED EVERYTHING--BROUGHT A WIDE SMILE AND TEARS OF "REGRET" (BEHAVIOR REGRET) TO BAMBI'S FACE AND A SMILE TO EVERY OTHER PERSON IN THE BUILDING!! INNOCENCE AND LOVE CHANGES ALL.

 

WE CAN LEARN MANY LESSONS FROM OUR CHILDREN-NO MATTER THEIR AGE!!

 

I HAVE WRITTEN A POEM (03-1996) ENTITLED "SMILES". I WISH TO SHARE THE LAST VERSE WITH ALL WHO CARE TO PRACTICE IT'S MEANING:

 

                                                                          SMILES (4TH VERSE)

 

                                                                    When anger gets our best

                                                                    Causing pain all the while,

                                                                    Let's talk out our problems,

                                                                    And solve them with a smile.

                                                                                    ewb 03/1996

 

BAMBI NEEDS TO "BURY" THE HATCHET AND  NOT THE IMAGE/THOUGHTS OF HER DAUGHTER AND GRANDCHILD. I PRAY THAT WHAT GOD DISPLAYS IN OUR YOUNG CHILDREN WILL REHABILLITATE BAMBI SO SHE CAN SEE THE NEGATIVISM OF HER THOUGHTS AND BEHAVIOR.

 

MY MOTHER EXHIBITS IDENTICAL BEHAVIOR AS BAMBI BUT, BEING 7 HRS AND A STATE AWAY, IT DOESN'T INTERFERE IN MY FAMLY'S LIFE.

 

IN MY "IDEAS, THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS", I HAVE WRITTEN THIS:  "The reach of a young child's love is only a SMILE away.      ewb  04/10/1997"

 

LET'S ALL LEARN TO SMILE AND SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS WITH A SMILE. AS DR. PHIL SAYS: "LIFE IS TOO SHORT!"

 

OUR CHILDREN SHALL SET US FREE!

 

THANX FOR LISTENING. GOD BLESS.

 

ED BASS/BOONE, IOWA

 
June 30, 2008, 2:51 pm CDT

When children disrespect their parents.

I'm watching the show. In many, many ways, I am relating to Bambi. I, too, had a beautiful relationship with my daughter until she became controlled and manipulated by her, now, husband. I believe he serves his father, the devil. I haven't had a relationship with my daughter for 3 years. I send her gifts for Christmas and her birthday, and if I am blessed, she manages to sneak me a text "thank-you" message. He forbids her to come and see her dad, brother, or me. So Bambi .... I know how your heart breaks for a "girlfriend" one-on-one relationship with your daughter. What you must do, is give the whole package over to God. "Revenge is Mine, says the Lord". You must resolve in your heart that you must totally let her go. Try to lift your own spirits by moving on. She has "made her bed, and she must lay in it". This is why it is soooo important to have a belief in God. Why? Because when this life, called a "vapor" in the bible, is over, and you believe and Kendra believes, God will restore your relationship with your daughter, in heaven, in it's beautiful, perfect, way it was intended.
 
First | Prev | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | Next | Last