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Topic : 06/30 Inappropriate In-laws

Number of Replies: 248
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Created on : Friday, April 25, 2008, 03:04:05 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 05/01/08) When couples tie the knot, they don't just marry each other; they get hitched to their spouse’s entire family. But what would you do if your in-laws were demanding, condescending and sometimes violent? Bambi hasn’t spoken to her daughter, Kendra, for two years, and she blames her son-in-law, Adam. Bambi says she and Adam got into a heated argument in which she not only slapped him, but also went looking for a gun to shoot him! Kendra says her mother was way out of line for physically assaulting Adam and doesn't know if she can change her controlling ways. Bambi says Kendra is dead to her — and even built a makeshift gravesite in her yard to symbolize her grief. The irascible in-law says she's desperate to reconcile with Kendra -- but not Adam. Will the couple accept her terms?  Join the discussion.

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June 30, 2008, 2:54 pm CDT

Let your daughter be free.

You  had no  right to  slap your son -in-law.  Did you really think he could of prevented a medical condition?
Your feeling pure abandonment, and going to all lenghts  to  hang on to your daughter.  Almost desperation.  Let her go. She is 21. I have a son the same  age, and trust me , he did plenty to hurt me when he was with his first love.  But I  let him grow. I did'nt guilt him,  it  took a few years to hurt inside, but it worked out in the end.  my love for him, was more than  my  sadness it happened. That is what loving someone unconditionally, your child is.
 
June 30, 2008, 2:57 pm CDT

MOTHERS PLACE

Quote From: ramair

The Bible says, in the book of Genesis, that a man is to leave his mother and father and cleave unto his wife. I interpret that to mean that the wife also leave her parents to cleave unto her husband. Of course, God isn't telling husbands and wives to have nothing to do with their parents, and in-laws. But, when a man and a woman get married, their marriage becomes their primary relationship. Which doesn't preclude their already established family relationships. Or, forming new relationships with their in-laws. But, boundaries need to be set. To keep parents and in-laws intruding too much into their marriage. And, under extreme circumstances, the couple might have to avoid any contact with a parent, or in-law. Bambi's behavior, physically assaulting her son-in-law and looking for a gun with which to shoot him, suggests that she's a danger to him. And, not only declaring her daughter dead, but putting a fake grave in her own yard? Sheeesh! That's creepy. Sounds like Bambi's one super-sicko nut-job.  I'll bet her daughter got married just to get away from her.
THE MOTHER NEED TO APOLOGIZE AND TRY HARDER JUST TO BE NICE TO THEM HER OPINIONS SHOULD OLNY BE TOLD TO THEM IF ASK. NEVER GIVE UP YOUR FAMILY FOR A SPOUSE  KEEP CLOSE AND NEAR AND JUST LEARN TO GIVE HER HUGS
 
June 30, 2008, 3:05 pm CDT

I could totally relate to the show today

I want to thank Dr.Phil for having this show on today.

 

My husband and I sat and watched this MIL in awe.! She is just like my mother ! 

We have gone through what Adam and Kendra are going through. My mother and I stopped speaking and she cut me out of her life for similar reasons.It was always about her. I wrote letters just like that to my mom.

It drove me crazy that she would just pick out things in the letter and go into "poor me mode". She never saw the effort I was putting into keeping the relationship going. I always sat there biting my tongue because I didn't know how to respond to her comments anymore and still be level headed and rational. I could totally relate to Kendra.

 

 My daughter is 10 now and I am very angry at my mother for being so selfish. My mothers behavior was so toxic that we decided to let sleeping dogs lie and not try to fix the relationship anymore. Life is so much more peaceful without all the drama and selfish behavior. But I feel extremely empty without a mother in my life.

 

We tried therapy but it didn't work. The therapist talked to me alone one day and suggested that we not have a relationship. She suggested a book called "stop walking on eggshells". After reading the book we ended up moving 1200 miles away.

 

I tried for 15 years to have a normal relationship with my mother. We haven't spoken at this point since 2004. Over those 15 years there were times when she would hang up on me and not speak for 1-2 years at a time because she couldn't handle me making choices in my life or loving and supporting my husband. Those 15 years were hell. It took me 15 years to stand up to my mother and set boundries with her childish behavior.

 

I wish at this point I never gave her another chance. She has some serious mental issues and refused to take any resposibility for her behavior.

 

 I feel so bad for this couple that they are giving this woman another chance!  I wish I could be an extreme optimist like Dr.Phil but some people are just too selfish. This woman doesn't deserve to be a "grandmother" to this beautiful child. This sociopath attempted to murder her husband!!!!! Why is she getting another chance? What if she did get the gun and was successful???What is wrong with you DR.Phil!!!!!!!

 

 I found after a while when my daughter would start seeing her she started becoming controlling over her and how I was raising her. (I asked her not to smoke around her and she did.) I had to take her to the hospital twice for stitches when she was in her care- but yet the falls were not her fault.

 

I hope that things do work out for this family. Maybe Dr.Phil sees something that I don't. This MIL needs serious therapy- I hope she gets it.

 
June 30, 2008, 3:19 pm CDT

Mind Your Own Business

The mother is mean and disrespectful of her child and son-in-law. Young people have a hard enough time transitioning into adulthood with loving and supportive parents, let alone spirit crushing parents. This mother should be ashamed of herself.   

 
June 30, 2008, 3:23 pm CDT

The first Guest

She is an absolut Criminal and poisonous to the healt, welfare, and safety of her daughter and her grandchildren.  If I were the son in law in this matter, I would have had her arrested, charged, and convicted of assault, for the slap, and for uttering threats to cause bodily harm and death.  She should be in jail, not gaining publicity for her mental diseases on TV
 
June 30, 2008, 3:30 pm CDT

She isn't right in the head

I can't believe she has the  nerve to come on the show........they seem to be a very happy family.....what is her problem.  She needs to let her daughter have her own life.  We can see why she has been married and divorced four times......or at least I can.
 
June 30, 2008, 3:32 pm CDT

agree

Quote From: nemer1983

You  had no  right to  slap your son -in-law.  Did you really think he could of prevented a medical condition?
Your feeling pure abandonment, and going to all lenghts  to  hang on to your daughter.  Almost desperation.  Let her go. She is 21. I have a son the same  age, and trust me , he did plenty to hurt me when he was with his first love.  But I  let him grow. I did'nt guilt him,  it  took a few years to hurt inside, but it worked out in the end.  my love for him, was more than  my  sadness it happened. That is what loving someone unconditionally, your child is.
I agree with u so much.  have a son who is 21 and he has his own life to live.  mom lived hers otherwise she would not have the amazing daughter and grand daughter.
 
June 30, 2008, 3:46 pm CDT

What a shame

Poor Bambi,  She has no idea as to the full impact of this choice she has made.

It goes without saying, and I'm sure I'm not alone here, but this poor woman seriously needs some in depth psychological counselling.

 

She has lost years, with her daughter, and grand child that can never be recovered., all to substantiate her delusions that she somehow has been wronged. ( Not to mention, the possible relationship that could have been developed with her son in law, if her view on life wasn't so selfishly orientated.)

She believes that she is a victim, yet isn't willing to resolve the issues at all.              

 

She has so many of the true treasures that life has to offer right at her finger tips, yet doesn't have the courage to reach out.

She would rather believe that she is right and be bitter in that belief , than to make any resolutions to effect a positive change.

 

It really is a shame.

Buck777

 
June 30, 2008, 4:16 pm CDT

Bambi is NUTS!!

I can't beleive how nice Dr. Phil was to Kendra's crazy mother!! Bambi is a total neurotic--the type that isn't happy unless she's stirring up extreme drama. At least she showed some appropriate feeling in the end. Who wouldn't smile at, and be moved by, that incredible baby? The parents are obvioulsy doing an excellent job raising her, she was just a joy to behold, but if I were them, I would be very leery of letting someone like Bambi anywhere near her. Children don't need that kind of influence in their lives.
 
June 30, 2008, 4:21 pm CDT

06/30 Inappropriate In-laws

This women is sick and needs some mental help.
 
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