Message Boards

Topic : 06/30 Inappropriate In-laws

Number of Replies: 248
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, April 25, 2008, 03:04:05 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 05/01/08) When couples tie the knot, they don't just marry each other; they get hitched to their spouse’s entire family. But what would you do if your in-laws were demanding, condescending and sometimes violent? Bambi hasn’t spoken to her daughter, Kendra, for two years, and she blames her son-in-law, Adam. Bambi says she and Adam got into a heated argument in which she not only slapped him, but also went looking for a gun to shoot him! Kendra says her mother was way out of line for physically assaulting Adam and doesn't know if she can change her controlling ways. Bambi says Kendra is dead to her — and even built a makeshift gravesite in her yard to symbolize her grief. The irascible in-law says she's desperate to reconcile with Kendra -- but not Adam. Will the couple accept her terms?  Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

May 1, 2008, 2:33 pm CDT

05/01 Inappropriate In-laws

I also do not understand. Where there any valid reasons as to how the husband hurt Kendra? The reasons that Bambi gave were unreasonable and questionable. 

I know that Bambi is obviously scared of losing Kendra but it was time for Kendra to grow up and experience the world through her own eyes. However, that does not mean that Kendra should be totally by herself. There is a fine line between helping and hindering growth, and Bambi crossed it without a second thought as to how that might affect her daughter. 

 

 
May 1, 2008, 2:34 pm CDT

I understand

Quote From: crysta555

 My son of 26 is planning to marry next January to the most controlling, selfish, self centered, gold digger I have ever seen.  I don't get the fact that he hasn't.  They have a baby together which I feel was a trick on her part to get him.  See they both met with each just ending another relationship that caused them to only feel sorry for each other.  Her previous relationship consist of ending with her having an abortion. She litterally moved in my son's place with just a backpack.  This was 2 years ago.  No Job, NO drivers license, No vehicle!  He has supported everything!  He complained back in December and wanted out!  That's when I got involved and told him I saw it from the start and gave him advice. Well he ended up going to his dad (who I've been divorced from 8 yrs) and heard a different advice.  That he should take her back and continue to give her support and help that she needs.  See my ex is the same...selfish, self centered, AND VERY controlling.  Now because they are back together I'm the devil and that I caused them to break up. So SHE won't let him bring my grandson to visit me and my husband.  I say he doesn't have the guts to stand up to her and just do it!  Well my son just bought a house and announced the wedding plans through email to us.  I know Jan.2009 is far away and a lot can happen between now and then.  But what my son isn't seeing is "The Big Picture" of the future!  He has worked hard for what he has and is a good man.

I'm afraid of what she can do after the marriage!  So I have this email on my draft writing him giving him more sugguested and including how not just less then 4 months ago he text me "I want out, but don't know how" .  I believe the excitement with getting the house has blurred his vision and mind of what she is all about!  She is talking crap, her house her this her that!  Anyway I really want to send this email but can't seem to click the "send" button.  Any suggestions?  

OH MOM>>>Listen carefully>>> I understand how you feel>>REALLY I do. I was going through a similar problem with my son. Not quite the same story, but my son met this girl after dating another girl he was seeing for 3 years. I LOVED HER!! I thought she was the best thing for him. Anyway, to make a long story short, they broke up and he met this girl now that he's with. She has a 3 year old son. She was VERY quiet when ever she came around. I spoke to my son about it. She was the opposite of his other girlfriend. ANYWAY, my son thought he would have his girlfriend and the kid to stay at my house every weekend because this girl didn't drive. I told him NO  I wasn't dealing with that. A argument pursude and we were mad at each other for awhile. He ended up telling me that he really loves this girl. That he knoes that I liked the other one but he didn't!! And he claimed I wasn't too happy with her having a child. I told him that I was just concerned about his future. he's 23!! I thought he was jumping into FAMILY LIFE a little too soon. To make a long story short>>> I HAD TO LEARN TO MIND MY OWN BUISNESS. I don't mean that she could stay at my house now, I just mean that I had to mind my own buisness in the choices he was making on choosing girlfriends. Now they moved in together. My son is like yours. Very hard working and a devoted person. Look it, I KNOW IT'S HARD!!! We want too protect them as much as possible. BUT no matter how much we may not like their decisions, IT'S STILL THEIR DECISION!!!  If things start to fall apart, all we can do is be there to lend a helping hand. Sometimes it's good for them to make mistakes because if they learn something from it, they'll be more careful the next time. How many fruitloops did we pick up on the way??? LOL  Anyway, now me and the girlfriend get along fine. And I do like her little boy. Not that I didn't like him before. I DID. He's a KID. He's the innocent one. BUT things are working out for them, so why should I ruin it for them. PLEASE>>> AGAIN>>> I know it's hard to shut up about how you feel. But if you want a relationship with your son, your going to have to. Watch what you say about the girl if he ends up not being with her or being with her. If you need to vent>>.then find a close friend or someone that won't mind you venting and talk to them. I really hope everything works out for you. BUT try and get along for you and your sons sake.

                                 GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish you and your son well.

 
May 1, 2008, 2:45 pm CDT

Inappropriate In-laws

I THINK BAMBI NEEDS MENTAL HEATH HELP FOR HER HOLE FAMILY & SO BAMBI CAN BE A GRANDMA THAT BABY TO
 
May 1, 2008, 2:46 pm CDT

Well said.

Quote From: kwilson55

Bambi,

 

To simulate burying your daughter is a move that is shameful.  Life is so fragile.  You could lose her at any minute (for real).  My daughter died in an auto accident a week after her 30th birthday.  I'll never stop missing her.  I find your attitude incomprehensible.  You should be thanking god for the daughter you have and cherishing every minute with her.  You're SICK and need help.  By the way, your're version of the delivery room is rediculous.  I am an RN and have witnesses many births, I have also had several epidural injections for surgical purposes myself, they DO NOT STAB the patient in the back.  It sounds like you will use any stupid excuse you can dream up to attack your son in law.  The more you talk, the more rediculous you sound.

 

You are the poorest excuse for a mother that I have seen in a long time!!!!  I hope you never have to suffer the grief I have, and learn to love your daughter and respect her choices for HER life.  If I was your daughter, I would withhold the truth from you too.  I would not trust you to know the truth.

 

You have your daughter and a beautiful grandaughter and choose to reject them.  Get real before something really happens and you have to learn what real grief is about.  She is a person, not somthing you own.  Support her and be there for her.

I certainly hope that Bambi reads this response and rethinks her position.

 

Life is just too short.

 
May 1, 2008, 2:50 pm CDT

Agreed

Quote From: gammy2x

Hopefully, by the end of the show this lady Bambi will get the help she really needs. Her emotions are just not normal.

My husband and I really felt bad for Bambi in the way that she is so ill and really needs the help.  It can't feel good to have all this resentment, anger and hurt that she is carrying around. 

 

Bambi--please see a mental health professional.  They can help you feel better.

 
May 1, 2008, 2:55 pm CDT

UNREAL!!!!!!

I am not a health professional but I don't need a doctorate to know that this woman is a major psycho!!

I don't know how Kendra turned out the way she did, was her mother always like this? Kendras husband is a Saint!  Bambi is in serious need of professional help. I would not allow my child to be alone with her.

What exactly did Kendra do to have her mom treat her that way. That baby is beautiful!!!!!!!

I feel bad for the whole family !!!

Wendy in DE

 
May 1, 2008, 2:58 pm CDT

05/01 Inappropriate In-laws

I did not read all the other messages ye, t but my children married decent people, but  even if they didn't there is no way I would "bury my daughter" or NOT see my grandkids. If I didn't like who they married, it's really not up to me as I don't live with them. I will never cause aggravation for my children -that would prevent me from seeing my grandchildren :-(
 
May 1, 2008, 2:59 pm CDT

INAPPROPIATE IN LAWS

HOW COULD THIS SO CALL MOTHER GRANDMOTHER BE LIKE THIS??

  DR PHIL THIS DAUGHTER AND GRAND DAUGHTER IS BETTER OFF NOT HAVING HER IN THE LIFE.

I SURE WOULD MY MOTHER TO DO WHAT THIS MOTHER DID TO HER DAUGHTER.

   DR PHIL I CANT UNDERSTAND WHY SOME ONE THAT SHE SAYS SHE LOVES COULD DO THIS.

              DR PHIL TELL THE COUPLE NOT TO KEEP GETTING HURT BY THIS MOTHER!!

THIS MOTHER WILL DO THIS AGAIN AND AGAIN IF SHE DID IT SHE WILL DO IT ONCE MORE.

                                                                                               May Day 

 
May 1, 2008, 3:01 pm CDT

calm down mom!!

This mother in law needs to calm down, she should be very happy that her daughter found a young man that provides for his family, doesn't beat her daughter, doesn't sell drugs. Not all daughters are that lucky.
 
May 1, 2008, 3:03 pm CDT

love your kids while you have them

I only saw part of the show but was heartbroken and disgusted with the mother. I am the mother of a young mother trying to find her way in life.  We would often but heads and have very difficult times. We have both said and done things that we did not mean. It never seemed like the right time to apologize. After the argument is over why bring it up and who wants to apologize during a fight. But today I would give anything to be able to talk to her. You see I don't have mock grave stones in my yard I have a real one at the cemetary. Last June We lost our daughter in a car accident. Now all those arguments seem so silly. most of them were over selfishness and wanting to be right. None of that seems to matter anymore. Bambi, What I wouln't give to be where you are now.
 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Next | Last