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Topic : 07/18 The Cougar Craze

Number of Replies: 584
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Created on : Friday, April 25, 2008, 03:06:03 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date 05/02/08) Demi Moore did it. So did Madonna and Halle Berry. This trend of older women dating younger men is called the Cougar Craze, and it’s sweeping the country. Recently, at a New York speed-dating event, Sugar Mamas and Boy Toys, good-looking 35-year-old men wooed women over 35 who made at least $500,000 a year. Jeremy organized the event and says he was just answering a demand from affluent ladies. Was he sincere in his matchmaking or just out to make a buck? Dr. Phil talks to two women who participated in the event -- Gail, 44, and Nancy, 50. Their experiences might surprise you. Then, 51-year-old Kat says she’s no cougar; she just likes to date younger guys because men her age are set in their ways. She says her 23-year-old ex-boyfriend, Ryon, was loving, passionate and had a much higher libido than older men. Her friend, Nancy, says Kat has a great head for business, but a bad one when it comes to the opposite sex. She says young men just see dollar signs when they see Kat. Is Kat dating down, or should Nancy just butt out? And, Bobbi had an 11-year relationship with a man who was 17 years her junior, but she says once she turned 50, he saw her as too old. She wants to be in a relationship again, but not with an older man. Her son, Nathan, says someone still wet behind the ears can’t appreciate all Bobbi has to offer. Does Nathan have the right to put his foot down with his mother? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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April 29, 2008, 5:04 pm CDT

Sort of a cougar

Okay - a little history on me first.  I am 37 with a 17 year old son.  My husband of 17, nearly 18, years left me last September to be with his mistress, a woman 5 years older who worked for him.  We divorced in February and they have since gotten married.  I worked for my brother for a short time and it was there that I met my boyfriend.  He will be 22 in May which means he is 15 years younger than me, 4 years older than my son.  One of the things that attracted him to me is the fact that I do not look my age.  I am told on a nearly daily basis that I look like I am in my early 20s.  So when my boyfriend and I go out, it does not look like a cougar/cub thing, it just looks normal.  I was very hesitant to even think about seeing him as anything other than a friend but the more we hung out, the more we realized we really liked each other.  He treats me better than any other man I have ever been with which I realize isn't saying much since I was married to one man much of my adult life but I do know that how he treats me is very special and something I want to hold on to.  I don't see his age, I just see him.  He is someone who has made me happier than I have been in years, he makes me feel cherished and protected.  Who knows how long it will last but I am going to enjoy every second while it does. 
 
April 30, 2008, 2:45 pm CDT

The Cougar Craze

Quote From: jillyb71

Okay - a little history on me first.  I am 37 with a 17 year old son.  My husband of 17, nearly 18, years left me last September to be with his mistress, a woman 5 years older who worked for him.  We divorced in February and they have since gotten married.  I worked for my brother for a short time and it was there that I met my boyfriend.  He will be 22 in May which means he is 15 years younger than me, 4 years older than my son.  One of the things that attracted him to me is the fact that I do not look my age.  I am told on a nearly daily basis that I look like I am in my early 20s.  So when my boyfriend and I go out, it does not look like a cougar/cub thing, it just looks normal.  I was very hesitant to even think about seeing him as anything other than a friend but the more we hung out, the more we realized we really liked each other.  He treats me better than any other man I have ever been with which I realize isn't saying much since I was married to one man much of my adult life but I do know that how he treats me is very special and something I want to hold on to.  I don't see his age, I just see him.  He is someone who has made me happier than I have been in years, he makes me feel cherished and protected.  Who knows how long it will last but I am going to enjoy every second while it does. 
     More power to you!  I doubt I would ever get involved with someone younger than me for the simple fact that I have already raised two boys (they are now in their 30s) and I'd be unwilling to raise another one. Face it, in many cases the younger person looks to the older one as a mother/father,protector,provider figure and if this is recognized and accepted by both, there is no problem. As far as the older person's motivation to choose a younger partner goes, it's an ego stroker, it brings a certain youthfulness to their lives and they relish the power they get from being in charge and in control.
 
May 1, 2008, 8:45 am CDT

so what?

Men having been chasing younger women for centuries. In the 21st century, women have as much money and prestige as men, so why not do the same thing?  Sexually, younger men and older women are much more compatible (as is the converse, older men and younger women) - so what is the problem. If it makes a couple of consenting ADULTS happy, what is the big deal?

 

I am 44 and had been on an internet dating site.  I was propositioned DAILY and REPEATEDLY by men from age 19 and on up.  I took some of them up on it - sometimes it was fun, sometimes it was tedious. I never wanted to be a sugar mommy, I just wanted some fun. So did they. If anything happened, so what - it would have only been MY business and HIS, and no one else's. For the record, I'm single, never been married, and have (and want) no kids.

 
May 1, 2008, 12:17 pm CDT

Married to a younger man

I am married to a man 12 years younger than I am. We have been happily married for 34 years. We have a 31 year old son together. I am 64 yrs. old. My husband is 52 yrs. old. We are each other's best friend. We have alot of respect for each other. We have learned so much from each other over the years. We are SO grateful for our love.
 
May 1, 2008, 2:07 pm CDT

money matters

If I am going to date an older woman she has to have a lot of money.  There has to be some reason to want to touch baggy and wrinkled skin.

 

I think guy's that date older women probably can't get a date with someone their own age (or the women have a lot of money.)

 
May 1, 2008, 2:24 pm CDT

Too serious?

Dr. Phil, I am a 50 yr old woman. I've always taken good care of myself so I, fortunately, don't look my age. I own a dance club that caters to a younger crowd. My son, of 28, is my manager. I'm often propositioned by the "boys" (as I call them). It boosts my ego, of course, but because I don't want to embarrass my son or hurt my business, I don't take them up on it. However, I am seeing a younger successful business man, 45. We're both very busy and don't plan to marry, so our "Friends with Benefits" relationship is perfect for us. Our only commitment to each other is sexual, which EVERYONE should be thinking about, no matter what their age. I hope your show has statistics on ST D's, especially AIDS. Because I, as well, believe that age doesn't matter, if you don't take it too seriously and get hurt or hurt someone else, physically or emotionally. 

 

 
May 1, 2008, 4:09 pm CDT

05/02 The Cougar Craze

you know i really dont see nothin wrong with women dateing younger men,im like this if a man sees a woman and he likes her enough to go home with her and have well you know what i mean, it should not really matter how old she may be, we all know woman do not like to tell NO  one their true age. as long as these guys are of legal age i say what the hell, go be happy till the ride comes to an end. but by all means protect your self both of you!!
 
May 1, 2008, 4:32 pm CDT

05/02 The Cougar Craze

Quote From: markvw

If I am going to date an older woman she has to have a lot of money.  There has to be some reason to want to touch baggy and wrinkled skin.

 

I think guy's that date older women probably can't get a date with someone their own age (or the women have a lot of money.)

You know what, you have no clue, but your message says a great deal about the type of person you are, aside from the fact that you're not interested in dating older women.
 
May 1, 2008, 8:28 pm CDT

05/02 The Cougar Craze

Quote From: rdcurt1

I don't think there is anything wrong with 2 mature adults dating, no matter what their age is. I do feel differantly if the man in question is just barely an adult. My son turned 18 last July and is involved with a 35 year old woman who has a son almost his age. I have been fighting the issue for months. She has lived her life and made her mistakes, and he is just starting out in life and shouldn't be thinking about taking on her responsibilities. This might be one episode I will pass on, the topic is just to close to home for me.

You may think you know  a lot about your son BUT I bet my bottem dollar he has done things you never imagined. Young people have gone through WAY more then we ever have. and trust me mom does NOT know all.

The more you push against him dating her the more he will fight you. He is over 18..he can vote, drive a car go to war. You raised him now it is time to let go or you will loose him.

 

My fiance soon to be husband and I been dating for over 3 years. He had experienced things I never had when I was that age and guess what we have a beautiful relationship. YES his mom had an issue but she got over it and said okay IT IS YOUR LIFE YOU ARE AN ADULT...and we are now good friends.

My son is 1 year older then him. My family accepts him and I am accepted by his family.

 

As long as he is loved respected and treated well YOU should be happy..because THAT is hard to find anymore. Be glad he is not stuck with someone who is abusive and fools around on him

 

Get over it mom and accpet your son as an adult and cut the emotional umbilical cord

 
May 1, 2008, 8:31 pm CDT

05/02 The Cougar Craze

Quote From: ramair

I've never been a believer in those "May-December" relationships, with 20+ year age differences, regardless of which gender is older. While the older man might consider himself a "stud" for getting himself a young gal, she's most likely using him as a "sugar-daddy". And, those older "cougar" women. How many of them are being used as "sugar-mommies"?

Until you walk in these shoes stop assuming. My fiance who is 21 years younger then me is a CHEF and makes more then I do...So no darling I am no sugar mama and I can tell you there are MANY younger men who are married and IN LOVE with older women...oh and FYI sure is not for the money

 

*rolls eyes* predjudice assumptions make me sick

 
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