Topic : 07/18 The Cougar Craze

Did your family and friends say that your marriage wouldn't last because of the 5 year age difference? Even 32 years ago that wasn't that much age difference. (You were 35, he was 30)  I don't know what the exact age requirements are to be a cougar, but no, I don't think of you as a cougar. Maybe the times have changed, because I had an aunt who was married to a man only 2 years younger than her and she was ashamed of the age difference. I think when they married he was 18 and she was 20. This would have been in the 1930's.

   Well, I don't know what the exact stats are right now, but I recently heard that it was about 70% for both men and women. Yes, you are exactly right about the fact that women are cheating just as much as men. That is what the topic was on the news that I was watching, that women have now caught up with men. They mentioned the stats, and all I remember is that it was somewhere in the 70% range. Pretty bad huh? I believe in equal opportunity but, I wish the stats would have gone down for the men and the women didn't catch up. Infidelity has got to be one of the most painful experiences out there. I am going through this right now with a very close friend of mine and it destroyed her marriage. She is dealing with emotions such as hurt, lowered self esteem, (it really took a blow there) and anger, I should actually say "rage". I have been supportive for her for over 2 years now, and I think it's time that she see a professional for this. With all of my own problems and of course my health issues, it's very hard to spend over 2 hours every night on the phone with her and hearing the same stories over and over again. Don't get me wrong, I do want to be there for her, but at some point she needs to realize that there are worse things in the world that can happen to a person. She needs more help than I can give. Needless to say, she is also a very stubborn woman and it's hard to get her to budge on any issue. Anyway, I just don't understand why men can't keep their pants zipped and why women can't keep their skirts lowered. For such a brief amount of enjoyment, it is not worth the suffering that is causes to both parties involved.

   I giggled when I read your first sentence, yes I guess that is easier to understand! Glad that I could help you out there!

You don't have listen to what I say.  I am not God Almighty!    But you do have to listen to God Almighty or else you will be sorry.    For he is the one that is going to judge! As it is written in the Bible.

I am not saying to be afraid  of God.   I am saying that you should fear the hand of the Lord. Meaning you can have your cake here on earth, but you are going to answer to the Lord when the earth is done.  That is when you are going to fear the Lord because you have to stand in judgement of all the sins you have committed her on earth and if you have not repented by now or then you will be fearing the judgement you will receive from him for your sins.

As for writing the Bible:  God's Apostles wrote the Bible from what they lived and were taught by Jesus Christ.      If you think there is no hell then why don't you read the Bible.  A clear description of it is in Revelations. I think you better let your grandfather read it too.  

God is giving us all a chance here on earth. That is the reason he sent his only son Jesus Christ who suffered and died for our sins. 

So the choice is your's and others like you.   You can have your fun here on earth but you had better repent now before it's too late or get ready for the everlasting punishment for your sins.    May God Bless you!  I will say a prayer for you and all others that are not taking the Bible (word of the Lord) so literally.

I just finished watching the Oprah show and William Shatner was being interviewed. He proudly presented his fourth wife and nobody mentioned the age difference (27 years). Now had it been a woman being the older partner, that would have been pointed out. I have dated guys younger than me and I have never attempted to go after any of them. They have always been the one to ask me out.

Dr. Phil, you accused the beautiful 51 year old woman of not telling her boyfriend that she was 51 years old. Age is a very private thing that does not have to be divulged. It's like a woman telling someone how much she weighs or maybe a man pointing out how much or how little he is endowed. I would think that the man would want the woman to fall in love with him, not  his penis size.

So, when I go out with a guy younger than me, I choose not to say how old I am. If it ever became a serious relationship, perhaps I would, perhaps not. You said on the show that a woman will show the difference when she is in her 60s or 70s and he is in his 40s. There are plenty of beuatiful women out there in their 60s. Just look at Susan Lucci, Cher, Tina Turner. Shame on you Dr. Phil. I plan to get old maybe at 80!

I just saw the re-run of Cougar Craze.  I watched this episode over dinner with my husband who is 10 years my junior.  I have so many opinions about this subject. 

First of all, yes the odds are stacked against these types of relationships. Trust me, it is something I carefully considered before becoming seriously involved with my now husband.  We discussed it, and we are careful not to fall into the mothering trap. Granted, I am not oldest to be his mother, but, my life experiences and much more broad than his.  We can't ignore this.  I think anyone who is thinking of getting involved in a relationship with a considerable age differential, think twice!! Don't get wrapped up in the romance and adventure or the great sex... Eventually things even out and you and your partner are with each other.  Make sure that person is someone you respect and one who's shortcomings are one you can live with.  Someone who you can build a life together. Neither person should scarfice themselves. In any relationship if you are losing who you are, you should beware.

With all this being said, I am very annoyed with the stigma we come across by men and women in our personal and business lives. Stop judging us!! Our relationship works for us. It may not work for you, we may not work for you, but, we work for us and we work together.  I have often wanted to lie about our ages just so that I would have to see the shock look on the faces of those who feel entitled to judge us.  I don't judge you- save your opinions and comments. We have a healthy, productive relationship, do you?

Ladies, gentlemen, look before you leap- with every relationship there is risk.  An older man can leave you for a younger women just as quickly as a younger man can... If the relationship is on track with common interests, goal and values, regardless of age, you are on the right track. Nothing ventured, nothing gained! To Each His/Her Own!

  I think your beliefs are yours.My point is I don't think of sex as cake and I can guarantee being abused is not fun. You are the one quoting your version of the bible. Before you try to force your point of view on people, I only suggest you think before you speak. You don't know everyone's situation and I intend to pray for you also. My grandfather is in Heaven and I can assure you, his good points outway his bad. How are you so sure the Apostles wrote the Bible? Probably some record MAN recorded???? Also, one of the Apostles was Judas. I can assure you I'm far from a Jezzabell or a whore from Babylon.I do believe Jesus died for our sins and was a good person. Perhaps He might be a judge, but I beleive he was more focused on kindness and forgiveness. If you take the Bible literally, you would probably want to get rid of gays,Jewish people,Muslims,Budhists and look down on people you don't really know. Good & Evil are not that clear cut. If you do have a prejudice against these groups,would you appreciate me linking your views to a well known historical fiqure? Adolph Hitler comes to mind.So keep fearing God, I'll keep loving Him along with gay people,Jewish people and Muslims. So just remember Red and Yellow, Black and White-They are precious in his sight. Open your mind a bit and start living in this century and may God Bless You also.