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Topic : 08/08 Divorce that Daughter-in-Law!

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Created on : Friday, May 02, 2008, 01:14:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 05/05/08) Dr. Phil follows up on the story of Pierre, his wife, Amanda, and his meddling mom, Yolande. When they first appeared on the show, Amanda said her mother-in-law was controlling and never approved of her. Yolande said she hoped her son would be with a more educated woman, and she even criticized Amanda in French right in front of her! Pierre was torn between his mother's money and life with his wife. When he returned home, did he take Dr. Phil's advice and cut the purse strings? Pierre claims his mother is jealous and judgmental of the women he dates. She disagrees and says she's only recently become involved in his love life. Dr. Phil puts Yolande to the test. Then, Pierre asks Dr. Phil for help revealing a secret to his mom. And, Amanda and Yolande haven't spoken to each other in months. Sparks fly when they face off on Dr. Phil's stage. Will Pierre finally choose the road to independence? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.


Do you have in-law problems? Talk about it here: Getting Along with Your In-Laws
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anon_slc
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May 3, 2008, 9:37 am PDT

CRUELTY - MANIPULATIONS - HATRED - RAGE - REVENGE

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a psychological disorder characterized by pervasive instability in self-image, behavior, moods, and interpersonal relationships. This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity. 

 

While less known than schizophrenia or bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness), BPD is more common, affecting 2% of adults (1-33), mostly females.  Some of my favorite books that provide a great introduction and insight are:


 

Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward AND Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss


Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder by Rachel Reiland OR Girl Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen OR Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back...by Paul Mason and Randi Kreger

 

Understanding the Borderline (Parent) Mother:  Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson OR Surviving a Borderline Parent:  How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries and Self-Esteem by Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman OR Overcoming Passive-Aggression: How to Stop Hidden Anger from Spoiling Your Relationships...by Tim Murphy and Loriann Oberlin


High Conflict People in Legal Disputes by Bill Eddy OR Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive (Relative) Ex by Richard Warshak

 

How to Journal for Therapy:

http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm 


Healing Anxiety and Depression (7 types of anxiety and depression) by Daniel Amen and Lisa Routh OR Getting Help:  The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Self-Assessment and Treatment of Mental Health Problems by Jeffrey Wood

 


Though harder to spot, emotional abuse is easier to deny. But just as physical abuse has signposts to mark its presence, emotional abuse, being a systematic attack on one's sense of self, has common traits.  Physical abuse comes in degrees of severity - emotional abuse also runs the gamut of intensity and damage.

 

There are relationships, marriages and families that are so destructive the only option is for a person to get out.  Get out with the little bit of sanity you may have remaining. Make a promise to yourself to leave.  Leave so you can begin a life of healing and recovery.  Leave so you can learn to live a joyful, peaceful, trusting, supportive, and fulfilling life.


Hope it helps!


 
 
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hpmx59
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May 3, 2008, 9:43 am PDT

Doctor Phil Show

Daughter Divorce Doctor In Laws Phil That. I have never heard Divorce That In-Laws before. See you on---

Monday May 05th, 2008. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.-------------------------------------------------------------
 
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andredbr
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May 4, 2008, 2:26 am PDT

Independence

As i can't see the actual dr. Phil's shows in Holland on television, but i can read about everything on the website i have the following comment: 

 

About this topic i think that the son has to be growing up by taking distance from his mother and stand up for himself, start with his own live. This mother is dominating her kid with her money (blackmail i should say ) and..... he let her!? What is more rejectable he talks with his mother in French and in fact he says to his wife this is between me and my mother and you have nothing to do with it. (he has to stand up for his wife!!!)

 

Conclusion: Mother must focus on other things then only her son (Are there other children?) and dear son must change his live by standing up on his own feet!!! Less money perhaps, but more selfrespect etc. etc.

 

Andre de Bruijn

Spijkenisse

The Netherlands

 
 
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renschi
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May 4, 2008, 7:19 am PDT

Divorce that daughter-in-law

Quote From: andredbr

As i can't see the actual dr. Phil's shows in Holland on television, but i can read about everything on the website i have the following comment: 

 

About this topic i think that the son has to be growing up by taking distance from his mother and stand up for himself, start with his own live. This mother is dominating her kid with her money (blackmail i should say ) and..... he let her!? What is more rejectable he talks with his mother in French and in fact he says to his wife this is between me and my mother and you have nothing to do with it. (he has to stand up for his wife!!!)

 

Conclusion: Mother must focus on other things then only her son (Are there other children?) and dear son must change his live by standing up on his own feet!!! Less money perhaps, but more selfrespect etc. etc.

 

Andre de Bruijn

Spijkenisse

The Netherlands

 



Sometimes in life you have to be cruel to be kind.  You decided to take this person as your wife, of all the woman that you know,  hundreds? thousands?  to be the one you want to love, charish, to be with, etc..

In a mariage God is first, then you and your wife, and a lot of work, there is no space for someone else as well.  Love your mom, but stand up for your mariage, do the right thing, and be happy.
 
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kstinner
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May 4, 2008, 12:06 pm PDT

this sounds familiar

My oldest daughter (step) is still probably going through something like this.  His mom has always supported him and therefore used money to control him.  She had really worked hard with him to take his mom's checks and turn them down.  She didnt like his mother's critizisms of them, or how their house was decorated, etc.  you get the idea.  My advice as an observer is this.  'Its Mommy or Me' she should tell him.
 
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cottonpicker
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May 4, 2008, 4:02 pm PDT

Mama's boy

I don't think he has the guts or balls enough to divorce his Mother.  He is too much of a mama's boy.
 
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shadycat1
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May 4, 2008, 6:41 pm PDT

05/05 Divorce that Daughter-in-Law!

 LOL,
Wouldn't it have been HILARIOUS if she had learned enough French, to cut her MIL off at the pass, I mean PRIVATE lessons because I don't think Hubby would tell her the truth anyway.
I remember this from the first one, and I have to say she fits the stereotype of a Quebecois very nicely (I'm not speaking of the average French Canadian, but how they are stereotyped ), so her fellow Quebers should be thanking her for perpetuating the Myth of them all be rude and crude toward English speaking people, she's almost lucky her son married an American, because French is compulsary in many Canadian Schools, we learn enough often, she wouldn't even try.
Well I hope he made a decision he is happy with, one way or another.
 
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tayantbub3
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May 5, 2008, 6:05 am PDT

Re: parebt In laws

Parents need to realize that their children have grown up and are ready to leave the nest...even if the parents dont agree with the choices that their children makes as these ppl are no longer children and have time to make mistakes and make lives for themselves--i would be honoured to have a family that cared about mke ..which i dont as i have raised my self since i was 16---due to religious beliefs and the fact that mt parents were actuallay my grandparents.But as for listening to what my family had to say i would say no way go with what is in you heart.....if family doesnt l it so be it but it is one persons coice and that is ours alone..listen to you heart not what family think is good for you as they might not know you as well as you know your self take car!!
 
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pdriver
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May 5, 2008, 6:48 am PDT

What is going on?

Dr Phil, again I am so surprised at the approach taken with this mother in law.  All the blame seems to be directed toward the mother in law.  I dont understand.  Yes she does slander her own son but he in return takes and takes and takes and never seems to be able to support himself but lives with very fine objects.  He is bleeding her dry.  He is almost 40 and he now needs to provide for his own needs.  She most likely came from a depressed era as a child from WWII and we have no idea what she went through as a child and money is everything to her.  I am ashamed of your  behavior.  Your were rude!
 
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reecespieces
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May 5, 2008, 7:08 am PDT

05/05 Divorce that Daughter-in-Law!

I am totally on the Mother's side!!!  The ex daughter in law is very disrespectful.  I don't know-maybe she is a sweet girl...but she didn't show it.  The mother had every right to go through the things left behind by the ex daughter in law...

The son should stop taking advantage of his mother's money and the mom should stop giving it to him!
 
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