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Topic : 05/06 Moochers

Number of Replies: 97
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Created on : Friday, May 02, 2008, 01:20:38 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
They drain your finances and try to take you for all you’ve got. No, it’s not the IRS, but family freeloaders! First up, when Ryan appeared on the show two years ago, he proudly wore the title King of All Moochers. His mother, Adele, was desperate to get him off the couch and out of her house. After the show, Adele took Dr. Phil’s advice and didn’t give Ryan one penny. But just when she thought her son was getting on his feet, she says Ryan was back to his old ways. She says he’s not contributing to the baby he has with his ex-girlfriend and is about to marry Tanya, a woman with a 5-year-old son, who is now pregnant with his child! Now that Ryan and Tanya have another baby on the way, Ryan says he’s serious about changing his mooching ways. Will he step up to the plate and be a father, or is Tanya just another victim of Ryan’s  freeloading lifestyle? Then, Stacey says her 42-year-old brother, Mark, is bleeding her dry. He lives in her basement and hasn’t paid rent in three months. Mark says he’s not a moocher, and it’s not his fault he doesn’t have a job -- he’s just not a morning person. Stacey says her mother, Nell, is a big enabler when it comes to Mark, but is Stacey just as guilty? Will Mark hear the wake-up call before he finds himself on the streets? Tell us what you think.

Find out what happened on the show.



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May 6, 2008, 5:00 pm CDT

Tanya, dump the fool and marry me!

OK maybe now **I'm** the one rushing things, lol.

 

Seriously, though - you are a beautiful, intelligent, articulate, dedicated and sweet woman. There are millions of guys out there (I'm just one) who would love to know you better. You don't have to settle for anyone. I'm sure you feel vulnerable right now having a baby on the way, and may be rationalizing that Ryan could be a father figure to your 5-year old; perhaps thinking that it's too much "baggage" to be able to find a better guy. Let me tell ya honey, it's not.

 
May 6, 2008, 5:19 pm CDT

Ridiculus

Today's show was enlightening for a lot of women in that same situation as the first lady with Ryan.I have one question? How do guys feel that paying child support is just bringing over some Pamper's or some milk over if the mother calls them. That doesn't fly in court! Child support not only is for diapers and milk. It is also for the lights,rent and other expenses......etc.Softball fees, school fees clothes or whatever is needed for the household.The young lady definitely should not marry Ryan. If he has a child all ready, and one on the way, how is he going to be a provider for his fiancee?She already said she makes way more than he does.And he's not even paying consistent child support. When Ryan said he didn't know about the court hearing until the day before, he is lying. Because where I live that notice you get to go to court comes at least a month and a half before the court date. I know because I pay faithfully.My daughter is half of me too. I don't care for my daughter's mom. But I pay my child support. You have to know how to separate the two. And the second guy Mark leaves me speechless! Enough said!
 
May 6, 2008, 6:50 pm CDT

SPERM donor!!!!!!!!

When I saw the topic of this evenings show I seriously wanted to call my sperm donors mother.. Wow did you hit the nail on the head.  My daughters father is 30 years old and bounces from his mothers house to his dads house ---rent free.  If someone expects him to do something...he moves!

I recently took him to court for 2 years back child support...I of course, wasn't expecting much of anything except to get the ball rolling (a.k.a. make him get a JOB!). That was until I found out his car accident settlement that he got ( oops did I mention he never told me he was getting one?) was $24,000!!!! Not only did I not get the 2 years back child support from that settlement,,,,my daughter didn't even get a Christmas present.  Of course now I was PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!! The judge gave him 2 hours to come up with $1,000 or he was going to jail... here is where your show comes in.. Guess who comes in to bail little sperm donor out--------MOMMY!!!!!!!  Long story short mommy THEN is angry at ME for "attacking her financially".......She and I don't really speak now after I have been "taking from them and then was willing to put my daughters father in jail".  Mind you he has been in and out of her life and kicked my daughter to the curb once I took him to court.   Mommy tells me that I am keeping my daughter from establishing a relationship with her father....

There are moochers everywhere... mine is 30 and has a mommy that never cut the cord but then gets angry at me when she has to bail him from another financial hole.....

 

 
May 6, 2008, 7:06 pm CDT

Stop enabling moochers

I have been there and done that , as Dr. Phil says, so well...you teach people how to treat you. These moochers absolutely will never get out to find a job or be responsible, for WHY would they?? After all

they have everything given to them!!!! Once the FREE GRAVY TRAIN ends then & ONLY then will they get into the survival mode, because they have to eat!!! HELLO!!!! Believe me it is simple.....they will not go hungry. Even if they are forced to sleep on the street, it teaches them to either make a go of it, or they

suffer the consquences. Don't complain about moochers.....give them 30 days to have a job with money coming in, or they are OUT!!!!! It doesn't matter whether or not  they have umteen excuses, it

is vital to their self esteem and confidence that they form good habits, and that will never happen as long as someone is there to hold up their BUTT. I've gone through these more times than I can tell you

and I now have a son that is finally in a rehab program at a Mission, downtown L.A. and is doing well.

Yes, I kicked him out and it was the BEST decision that I've ever made. We have a very good and close

relationship now. They WILL SURVIVE without your help....BELIEVE ME!!! Take your hands OFF of the

situation and allow God to take over. Dr. Phil is dead on with this one.

 

 
May 6, 2008, 7:55 pm CDT

05/06 Moochers

Quote From: thally

At the risk of sounding like a jerk, I can't help but wonder ...  In this day and age of birth control, self-control (LOL), adoption, etc., how is it that all of these young women are getting pregnant so quickly with this kind of guy and then wondering why they're left as single moms?  (And how does a guy like that manage to get so many women, but I guess that's besides the point?!  Is love that blind, or is it really just insecurity / immaturity?)

Women have hundreds of methods of all kinds of birth control, and condoms, that previous generations of women would have killed to have the right to use.  Many generations ago, women used to be glorified breeding slaves, with no choice, no methods of birth control and no power.  Why aren't these grown, mature women using anything, or even 2 methods at once if they're unsure with just one method?  These weren't immature teenagers.  There are condoms which can be combined with all sorts of other methods.  There's a needle (depo provera) which turns off a woman's menstrual cycle for 3 months.  A woman only has to go in for a needle only once every 3 months, so no need to worry about accidentally forgetting to take a pill every day.  I'm just shaking my head and wondering why, in this day and age, that we have so much, birth control is even more convenient, and yet this is still happening more than ever, it seems.

I feel very badly for these children.  It's just another case of post-disaster clean-up and these women are left picking up the pieces and complaining that they're single mothers as though they were helpless from the start.   Maybe the modern-day version of "pro-life" should be viewed much differently, to mean "pro-right to stable, decent life with 2 stable, mature adults" rather than simply "pro-birth".  Yes, this man is a loser and chooses to be this way so long as he can get away with it, but what is wrong with all these women?  A mother's first duty to her child, before she even conceives, is to choose the right man to be the father of her child, not just to make sure she has a man, any man, in her life at all costs, because the cost of the wrong kind of man is just too great a bill for her future child to have to pay.

You don't sound like a "jerk" at all!! I've been puzzled by the stupidity of women who get pregnant so carelessly for longer than I can say.

 

It boggles my mind why, like you said, with all the methods of birth control available these days, teen pregnancy, as well as other unplanned pregnancies by women old enough to know better, are on the rise these past couple of years...and these dummies are picking the dregs of society with which to breed. I just don't get it!

 

Why would any woman with a brain want to bring a child into the world, (which is already tough enough in the best of circumstances) into such a bad environment??........oh wait...I think I answered my own question.

 
May 6, 2008, 8:01 pm CDT

05/06 Moochers

Quote From: leeloub

You guys are describing my bf!!!
He can't pay for anything cause he has to pay for his car!!! Oh and, I love this one.... I make more money than him. The best one, he wants me to help pay for his car, cause I sit in the passenger seat!!!!
I know he's a moocher. I didn't know it when we met. and now that we've moved in together, his family tells me about all the times they helped him.

So, I know I have my problems, I'm not perfect...but I work hard and never have excuses. So the stupid question is: how do I pick up the nerve to get rid of him?
I'm a wooss, I worry about his girl. I know that its not my concern.
thanks alot guys, I'm talking my way through this
bye

And you didn't know all this BEFORE you moved in with him?? You had to have........sooooo, why are you continuing to bang your head against a wall?

 

Get out NOW before you have a bunch of kids dragging you down further into this pit.....just put one foot in front of the other until you are out the door. Every day you waste with this loser is one day less you have to meet someone you can really respect and be happy with....what are you waiting for?

 
May 6, 2008, 8:27 pm CDT

05/06 Moochers

Quote From: lynlovel

 no matter what, it must be very hard for a family to just "throw" a son/brother, etc "out on the street," so to speak. i get what dr. phil means when he says that's selfish, that they're thinking about how they feel and not what's best for mark. but i think it's more than just about not wanting to worry -- it's the things they're worried about -- the image of him starving or sleeping in his car and being robbed, etc, the consequences that might occur if they cut him off. depending on where they live, these are very real possibilities, and saying "i was just trying to help him  get his life started" won't help much if he's found beaten up or worse.so i doubt they're just going to kick him out and "change the locks," just like that!

am i saying things should stay the way they are? no, of course not, but i think there has to be a definite plan for helping him get on his feet. maybe a job placement agency.and a deadline for him to get out of his sister's house. (if he's not out by that date, then she puts his tuff out on the sidewalk and changes her locks, etc.)

I know you mean well, but it's your kind of thinking that keeps these losers perpetual babies!

 

Believe me, these people are survivors, and they WILL survive if they are tossed out on their ear. They won't starve.  They are incredibly adept at finding one sucker after another.....don't be one of them!

Giving them deadlines only works if the person giving the deadline sticks to it....and, even then they don't believe that person because they've been enabled all their lives and just can't believe it's actually coming to an end so they will push it until the very minute they are thrown out.

 

And, by the way, it is NOT the responsibility of anyone else to spend their time "making a plan for helping him get on his feet"! Those plans are never followed up on by the moocher anyway. 

 

It's sad that so many parents, grandparents, other relatives and girls they manage to bamboozle into supporting them are just so plentiful!

 

 
May 6, 2008, 8:34 pm CDT

05/06 Moochers

Quote From: phatkatt

Buy your son some condoms!! Please...
Unfortunately, I don't think he'd use them....too lazy. Mommy would not only have to buy them, but would have to put them on him too!
 
May 7, 2008, 5:28 am CDT

Teehee....

Quote From: cndrlla

Unfortunately, I don't think he'd use them....too lazy. Mommy would not only have to buy them, but would have to put them on him too!

 

Good one!  The boy is 27 years old, how could anyone NOT wear a condom at his age if they don't want a baby?  Which leads me to guess that Ryan needs a baby mama to mooch on- a foothold to manipulate and leech, like a parasite.  He doesn't need grandma/pa to cover for him being a deadbeat, he needs to be cut off financially from everyone and grow the hell up.  What kind of man does this to women or his children for that matter? 

 

On the other hand Tanya needs to run...fast.  I don't care if she's pregnant with his kid.  She COULD have the baby and use it as leverage and say, "If you want any contact with me and your kid, you're going to have to be a provider", beat him at his own game.  Then she'd be free, because you KNOW he'd dump Tanya and find another mark like he did when Stephanie apparantly wised up. 

 
May 7, 2008, 6:24 am CDT

05/06 Moochers

Quote From: lynlovel

 no matter what, it must be very hard for a family to just "throw" a son/brother, etc "out on the street," so to speak. i get what dr. phil means when he says that's selfish, that they're thinking about how they feel and not what's best for mark. but i think it's more than just about not wanting to worry -- it's the things they're worried about -- the image of him starving or sleeping in his car and being robbed, etc, the consequences that might occur if they cut him off. depending on where they live, these are very real possibilities, and saying "i was just trying to help him  get his life started" won't help much if he's found beaten up or worse.so i doubt they're just going to kick him out and "change the locks," just like that!

am i saying things should stay the way they are? no, of course not, but i think there has to be a definite plan for helping him get on his feet. maybe a job placement agency.and a deadline for him to get out of his sister's house. (if he's not out by that date, then she puts his tuff out on the sidewalk and changes her locks, etc.)

We all make choices in are lifes, you don't think he thought that one day the sister, or her husband was going to kick his butt to the curb???? he is 42 years old, and he lives off the kindness of others,

you could give him a month, and he would have a good excuse for you not to kick him out, so at the end of that month you are back in the same place, feeling guilty about kicking him out and him living in his car, she has waited long enough for her brother to grow up, time to start thinking of her family first and their needs, I bet her husband thinks of her brother still sleeping in his house and eating his food he paid for, every time he walks out the door to go to work.and the anger of that is going to give him a heart attack. it would any man.

 
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