Message Boards

Topic : 05/06 Moochers

Number of Replies: 97
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, May 02, 2008, 01:20:38 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
They drain your finances and try to take you for all you’ve got. No, it’s not the IRS, but family freeloaders! First up, when Ryan appeared on the show two years ago, he proudly wore the title King of All Moochers. His mother, Adele, was desperate to get him off the couch and out of her house. After the show, Adele took Dr. Phil’s advice and didn’t give Ryan one penny. But just when she thought her son was getting on his feet, she says Ryan was back to his old ways. She says he’s not contributing to the baby he has with his ex-girlfriend and is about to marry Tanya, a woman with a 5-year-old son, who is now pregnant with his child! Now that Ryan and Tanya have another baby on the way, Ryan says he’s serious about changing his mooching ways. Will he step up to the plate and be a father, or is Tanya just another victim of Ryan’s  freeloading lifestyle? Then, Stacey says her 42-year-old brother, Mark, is bleeding her dry. He lives in her basement and hasn’t paid rent in three months. Mark says he’s not a moocher, and it’s not his fault he doesn’t have a job -- he’s just not a morning person. Stacey says her mother, Nell, is a big enabler when it comes to Mark, but is Stacey just as guilty? Will Mark hear the wake-up call before he finds himself on the streets? Tell us what you think.

Find out what happened on the show.



Do you have an adult child still living at home? Share your story here: Adult Children Living at Home

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

May 7, 2008, 7:57 am CDT

Dr Phils idea of child support

I was watching the show and had to really think about it.  He may not be giving physical money to tthe mom of his daughter, but formula and diapers really adds up.  A can of basic formula is about $15 and diapers are $10 a jumbo, that can be $300-400 a month, providing he actaully gives it.  Dr. Phil thinks that child support is physically handing $$ over and its not.  I would be estatic if the father of my baby was to contribute diapers and formula.  Yea its prob not enough of a contribution, but something is better than nothing, and it is a step in the right direction.  Rethink your philosphy Dr. Phil
 
May 7, 2008, 9:10 am CDT

not as easy as it seems

No matter what anyone says it is not as easy as you think to just kick someone out of your house.

I dont just let my moochers stay with me because it makes me feel good. I hate that they are there. I let them stay because there is nowhere else for them to go. I cant just throw my daughter out onto the streets, she has 3 little boys and they have deadbeat dads who are currently running from state to state to keep from paying child support.  She also has a lot of medical problems.  I have 3 grown adults mooching off me yet I have no idea how to stop it.  I support 6 other people besides myself on one measly check. It is hard to stand up for yourself when you have been treated like dirt all your life.

 

Besides I have never had a backbone and have never been able to stand up for myself. I have always been a doormat.

 
May 7, 2008, 9:54 am CDT

WAKE UP TANYA!

   AFTER WATCHING YESTERDAYS SHOW ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS THE DENIAL  ON TANYA'S FACE, I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FACE THE POSSIBILITY OF RAISING 2 KIDS ON YOUR OWN BUT IF SHE STAYS WITH HIM IT WILL BE 3 KIDS TO RAISE! TANYA WANTS SO BADLY TO PROVE EVERYONE WRONG AND BE THE ONE TO CHANGE HIM OR THAT HIS LOVE IS SO MUCH MORE POWERFUL FOR HER, THAN IT HAS BEEN FOR ANYONE ELSE! THAT THERE IS NO WAY HE WOULD DO THOSE THINGS TO YOU BECAUSE IT WAS OTHER PEOPLE AT FAULT NOT HIM NOT YOUR ROMEO!

TANYA DIDN'T EVEN GET THAT DR PHIL CAUGHT HIM IN A BALD FACED LIE ON AIR ! SHE EXCUSED IT!

IT IS SO HARD TO ADMIT YOU'VE MADE A MISTAKE, BUT TANYA WAKE UP, AND DONT COMPOUND IT BY MOVING TO FAST INTO A MORE PERMANENT SITUATION THAT WILL BE HARDER ,ON YOU AND THE CHILDREN IN THE FUTURE  A FATHER IS SO MUCH MORE THAN A BREADWINNER, HE SACRIFICES ALL TO BE WITH HIS KIDS, PUKE DOESNT PHASE HIM ,HE RIDES TO THEIR RESCUE ,HE GOES WITHOUT TO ENSURE HIS KIDS HAVE WHAT THEY NEED AND HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT THOSE NEEDS ARE! HE DRIVES AN OLD JUNK CAR TO MAKE THEIR LIVES BETTER IF THATS WHAT IT TAKES, HE SEES TO IT THAT THEIR MEDICAL NEEDS ARE PAID FOR ,THAT IF MOM IS SICK HE STEPS UP AND FIXES DINNER AND FEEDS, BATHES AND PUTS THE  KIDS TO BED, AND SEES TO MOMS NEEDS AS WELL. AND FOR SOME ODD REASON THIS FELLA DOES NOT SEEM LIKE THAT KINDA GUY, DON'T SETTLE FOR LESS THAN YOU DESERVE WHICH MAY BE PART OF THE PROBLEM, YOUR SELF WORTH IS SO LOW THAT YOU REALLY THINK HE'S BETTER THAN HAVING NO ONE AT ALL? I KNOW IN YOUR HEART AND MIND YOU THINK YOU REALLY DO LOVE HIM BUT HOW ABOUT THIS ,LOVE YOURSELF MORE!

 
May 7, 2008, 10:16 am CDT

05/06 Moochers

Quote From: uglyiest

No matter what anyone says it is not as easy as you think to just kick someone out of your house.

I dont just let my moochers stay with me because it makes me feel good. I hate that they are there. I let them stay because there is nowhere else for them to go. I cant just throw my daughter out onto the streets, she has 3 little boys and they have deadbeat dads who are currently running from state to state to keep from paying child support.  She also has a lot of medical problems.  I have 3 grown adults mooching off me yet I have no idea how to stop it.  I support 6 other people besides myself on one measly check. It is hard to stand up for yourself when you have been treated like dirt all your life.

 

Besides I have never had a backbone and have never been able to stand up for myself. I have always been a doormat.

hate to hear you speak so unkind about yourself, Doormates get wore out and you need to replace them, so when you get wore out, you should start throwing things out , start with one of the three moochers  kick them out, and your backbone will start to grow, and pride in yourself as well. and with each moocher you remove you will get stronger and easier. but you have to make the first step, don't worry the others moochers will support you in removing the first moocher, more for them. they just wouldn't  realize that you will be growing a backbone to kick them to the curb too.

 

                                                        

good luck

 
May 7, 2008, 10:20 am CDT

Mark, not a morning person

Mark you have more excuses than a balking chicken.  Balk Balk Balk.

 

I know that's not nice to say but your excuses are sad.  Did you try to get a job at Walmart?  They always need night stockers in their stores.  You get a salary, a yearly bonus, benefits and a 10% discount (not on food though).

 

Living in New Jersey is expensive, Mark.  However, there are programs, like affordable housing if you need it.  What if you got sick?  Who would pay the hospital bill?  I think you have a lot of nerve doing this to your family. 

 

Now... the guy that got this new lady pregnant.  She can't see past her nose.  She feels everyone is wrong about Ryan.  When she runs out of resources, he'll run out on her & impregnate another woman.  He pays no child support but claims he gives the baby what he needs.  Dr. Phil, its stories like these that make me think you're too nice.  LOL, they need a dose of Judge Judy.  I love when Judge Judy says "...you know 10 million people are watching this." 

 
May 7, 2008, 11:09 am CDT

THANK YOU

Quote From: gammy58

Great post!  I agree with you 100%. I never even once paid my kids car insurance. Why should I? I wasn't driving their car (and they paid for that too by working!) Now they are self-sufficient adults and I am sure they are as proud of themselves as we are of them. It seems the parents these days -a lot of them-are enablers and allow their kids to do this to them.

Thank you for your nice words. But it's true. You've raised your kids the right way I'm sure. Don't you remember going without when you were a kid? Whats wrong with going without? These kids today ACT LIKE THEY HAVE TO HAVE IT??? Then the parents FEEL BAD???? I don't get it?? Well I'm glad you agree with me. Not too many parents do I'm sure. Because if they agreed with me, they might have to accept that the reason why their kids are moochers is because they  SPOILED THEM ROTTEN!!!!!!!!  They don't want to acknowledge that??  But anyway, I'm sure your kids will do great in life. Just like I know mine will.

      Thanks again

 
May 7, 2008, 5:21 pm CDT

05/06 Moochers

If Tanya left the show with her hands in the air, I can't blame her.  I smacked my forehead at the illogic of telling Tanya not to expose her 5 year old to more potential losses by marrying Ryan.  The horse is already out of the barn!! He's already living in the apartment with the 5 year old!  A baby is already on the way!

 

Having said that, why are two women in one year pregnant by this guy?  Doesn't anyone date and then get married and then maybe have children?  I don't get it.

 
May 7, 2008, 6:06 pm CDT

about those perpetual babies

Quote From: cndrlla

I know you mean well, but it's your kind of thinking that keeps these losers perpetual babies!

 

Believe me, these people are survivors, and they WILL survive if they are tossed out on their ear. They won't starve.  They are incredibly adept at finding one sucker after another.....don't be one of them!

Giving them deadlines only works if the person giving the deadline sticks to it....and, even then they don't believe that person because they've been enabled all their lives and just can't believe it's actually coming to an end so they will push it until the very minute they are thrown out.

 

And, by the way, it is NOT the responsibility of anyone else to spend their time "making a plan for helping him get on his feet"! Those plans are never followed up on by the moocher anyway. 

 

It's sad that so many parents, grandparents, other relatives and girls they manage to bamboozle into supporting them are just so plentiful!

 

 yes, they are adept at finding new "suckers." that's why i'm not sure kicking them out of one's life will end their perpetual babiehood.

i know you're not saying thtat it will -- you're just saying don't be one of the suckers. but  i think most parents, garandparents, etc want more than to get the moocher out of their lives - they want to get him/her started on a better path.

i agree that it'sa shame that the victims of these moochers are so plentiful. but i think that's because they want to do more than just get rid of the moocher.

that's why i said things about deadlines and plans, etc. i imagine it would ease the enablers conscince if they knew they made this effort before saying, "ok, now out!" of course it means sticking to it,but if the enabler is still not strong enough he/she will never be strong enough to just do it right away, either... sigh...
 
May 7, 2008, 6:23 pm CDT

one more point about enablers

Quote From: cndrlla

I know you mean well, but it's your kind of thinking that keeps these losers perpetual babies!

 

Believe me, these people are survivors, and they WILL survive if they are tossed out on their ear. They won't starve.  They are incredibly adept at finding one sucker after another.....don't be one of them!

Giving them deadlines only works if the person giving the deadline sticks to it....and, even then they don't believe that person because they've been enabled all their lives and just can't believe it's actually coming to an end so they will push it until the very minute they are thrown out.

 

And, by the way, it is NOT the responsibility of anyone else to spend their time "making a plan for helping him get on his feet"! Those plans are never followed up on by the moocher anyway. 

 

It's sad that so many parents, grandparents, other relatives and girls they manage to bamboozle into supporting them are just so plentiful!

 

 one of the reasons these enabling parents, etc are so concerned about the moochers is that they are just that -- parents and so on. they love these people! i know "tough love" may be more valuable for these characters, but how many parents are strong enough for that? there's a lot of tough talk on these messageboards, but how many "tough talkers' would live up to it if the moochers were their kids, siblings, etc. (i'm not saying that you wouldn't.maybe you would. i'm just saying that  there are some who might sing a different tune if they were the parents, etc.) and yes, i know there are people who have ditched a mooching relative or friend, usually after doing some enabling for a while. but my point here is that a lot of the critics don't really know what they would do in the situation.
 
May 7, 2008, 6:40 pm CDT

05/06 Moochers

Quote From: nasale

 This girl is so self-serving and immature its not funny. She's a perfect match for someone like Ryan. Any girl who KNOWS that a man who has a  kid that he does not contribute emotionally or financially, then turns right around and gets pregnant by him, needs a reality check.  She is more interested in what Tanya can get out of it. GROW UP, Tanya!  IT's got nothing to do with Ryan's ex-clean up your own mess!
I ABSOLUTELY agree.  Tanya is self-centered just like Ryan is.  She didn't care a rip that he spent all that money on her ring instead of taking care of his child.....regardless of whether he really did or not, she believes he did.  getting herself pregnant was also self-centered.  She knows how that happens, apparently, since she already has one child.  What a mess for all 3 of those kids.  Very sad.
 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Next | Last