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Topic : 05/06 Moochers

Number of Replies: 97
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Created on : Friday, May 02, 2008, 01:20:38 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
They drain your finances and try to take you for all you’ve got. No, it’s not the IRS, but family freeloaders! First up, when Ryan appeared on the show two years ago, he proudly wore the title King of All Moochers. His mother, Adele, was desperate to get him off the couch and out of her house. After the show, Adele took Dr. Phil’s advice and didn’t give Ryan one penny. But just when she thought her son was getting on his feet, she says Ryan was back to his old ways. She says he’s not contributing to the baby he has with his ex-girlfriend and is about to marry Tanya, a woman with a 5-year-old son, who is now pregnant with his child! Now that Ryan and Tanya have another baby on the way, Ryan says he’s serious about changing his mooching ways. Will he step up to the plate and be a father, or is Tanya just another victim of Ryan’s  freeloading lifestyle? Then, Stacey says her 42-year-old brother, Mark, is bleeding her dry. He lives in her basement and hasn’t paid rent in three months. Mark says he’s not a moocher, and it’s not his fault he doesn’t have a job -- he’s just not a morning person. Stacey says her mother, Nell, is a big enabler when it comes to Mark, but is Stacey just as guilty? Will Mark hear the wake-up call before he finds himself on the streets? Tell us what you think.

Find out what happened on the show.



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May 6, 2008, 3:01 pm CDT

05/06 Moochers

Quote From: sharperk

If you don't like mornings get a night job, many companies have maintenance at night, security jobs, hospitals run 24/7; and refusing a $10.00 an hour job, a job where I live that pays at least $10.00 is fantastic to start! That would allow anyone in our area a great earning ability! I would have loved to earn that, our level of pay is much less and even being a single Mom I earned from my jobs, (This was about 20 years ago) & one full time job was $5.00, one part time; $7.25, and one was, if I remember another part time; $8.25; the $5.00 an hour was the full time employment, I was so good at that job I was the first and only person to ever be offered a paid vacation, Oh and none of these jobs had health insurance either, but I went back to college, still worked 1 job, cared for kids, and a family member in my home, with the help of siblings in my family to assist while I was away at work or school; the family member needed 24/7 care from severe stroke! Thank God we have a loving family, but I completed my degree, went on to University, and was able to obtain a better job with benefits etc..... work, work, work, just keep going, I am now 20+ years past all the turmoil; but, I can't figure financially how I did it, I now know that I didn't, I had a Wonderful Friend who helped me, He is and did provide! God Provides; and is the only way all of that could have been done He carried all I had to do,  and He sure came through for me, like I said nothing could have added up to be able to carry out all the jobs, education and caregiver at home!  Not to mention the emotional stress of it all! Amen
The men in the show you preach your story to, would not find your story of hard work and family incredible as most people would, I'm sure they look at all of us as stupid who work hard for what we have. 
 
May 6, 2008, 3:11 pm CDT

Losers

Good God.....just how dumb can these women be?   I didn't see the first half of the show, but I saw all of the discussion about the 42-yr old man living in his sister's basement.  And he "isn't a morning person".....well that's just too too bad isn't it? His sister and his mother are both enablers and have made him the looser he is.  They have nothing to complain about nor do I have any sympathy whatsoever for them....they've made him what he is.  What about the sister's husband?  Why doesn't HE kick the moocher out of his basement?  This guy is milking his mother & his sister for all their worth because of the self-induced guilt.  Get over it......guilt won't pay the bills and guilt won't make him grow up.  That's just a cop out for not making this bum grow up & be a man.  Face it, he's a lazy, good for nothing loser and unless both women in his life bite the bullet & make him get out on his own (even if he has to live in a homeless shelter) he'll be mooching off of them forever. 

 
May 6, 2008, 3:16 pm CDT

the enabling family

Quote From: ramair

Mark says it isn't his fault he doesn't have a job? That's a crock! And, he isn't a moring person? That's another crock. He could become a morning person by going to bed at a reasonable hour. And, who says he has to get a job that starts before noon? As long as he gets a job. I think he's just too sorry and lazy to work. Thanks to an enabling family who has never required anything of him.
 no matter what, it must be very hard for a family to just "throw" a son/brother, etc "out on the street," so to speak. i get what dr. phil means when he says that's selfish, that they're thinking about how they feel and not what's best for mark. but i think it's more than just about not wanting to worry -- it's the things they're worried about -- the image of him starving or sleeping in his car and being robbed, etc, the consequences that might occur if they cut him off. depending on where they live, these are very real possibilities, and saying "i was just trying to help him  get his life started" won't help much if he's found beaten up or worse.so i doubt they're just going to kick him out and "change the locks," just like that!

am i saying things should stay the way they are? no, of course not, but i think there has to be a definite plan for helping him get on his feet. maybe a job placement agency.and a deadline for him to get out of his sister's house. (if he's not out by that date, then she puts his tuff out on the sidewalk and changes her locks, etc.)

 
May 6, 2008, 3:20 pm CDT

ouch!

Quote From: manofgoods

What I think about this story that you're telling us; I think that he's taking advantage of everyone if he is not giving back to them. I also think that he's using them to satisfy his desires. What kind of "friend" is this person? Real friends don't take advantage of them. I seriously hope you moved on from him & found yourself a better person! I also hope he doesn't have any children. He will always continue to mooch off of others until one of them (or more) puts a stop to it. What will he do then?
You guys are describing my bf!!!
He can't pay for anything cause he has to pay for his car!!! Oh and, I love this one.... I make more money than him. The best one, he wants me to help pay for his car, cause I sit in the passenger seat!!!!
I know he's a moocher. I didn't know it when we met. and now that we've moved in together, his family tells me about all the times they helped him.

So, I know I have my problems, I'm not perfect...but I work hard and never have excuses. So the stupid question is: how do I pick up the nerve to get rid of him?
I'm a wooss, I worry about his girl. I know that its not my concern.
thanks alot guys, I'm talking my way through this
bye

 
May 6, 2008, 3:42 pm CDT

PIPSQUEAK!!!!

This is the only word I can think to describe this poor excuse for  a man. His fiance needs a serious wake up call and the mother of his child BETTER sue for child support. WHAT A JOKE!
 
May 6, 2008, 3:55 pm CDT

Question about the women in Ryan's life

At the risk of sounding like a jerk, I can't help but wonder ...  In this day and age of birth control, self-control (LOL), adoption, etc., how is it that all of these young women are getting pregnant so quickly with this kind of guy and then wondering why they're left as single moms?  (And how does a guy like that manage to get so many women, but I guess that's besides the point?!  Is love that blind, or is it really just insecurity / immaturity?)

Women have hundreds of methods of all kinds of birth control, and condoms, that previous generations of women would have killed to have the right to use.  Many generations ago, women used to be glorified breeding slaves, with no choice, no methods of birth control and no power.  Why aren't these grown, mature women using anything, or even 2 methods at once if they're unsure with just one method?  These weren't immature teenagers.  There are condoms which can be combined with all sorts of other methods.  There's a needle (depo provera) which turns off a woman's menstrual cycle for 3 months.  A woman only has to go in for a needle only once every 3 months, so no need to worry about accidentally forgetting to take a pill every day.  I'm just shaking my head and wondering why, in this day and age, that we have so much, birth control is even more convenient, and yet this is still happening more than ever, it seems.

I feel very badly for these children.  It's just another case of post-disaster clean-up and these women are left picking up the pieces and complaining that they're single mothers as though they were helpless from the start.   Maybe the modern-day version of "pro-life" should be viewed much differently, to mean "pro-right to stable, decent life with 2 stable, mature adults" rather than simply "pro-birth".  Yes, this man is a loser and chooses to be this way so long as he can get away with it, but what is wrong with all these women?  A mother's first duty to her child, before she even conceives, is to choose the right man to be the father of her child, not just to make sure she has a man, any man, in her life at all costs, because the cost of the wrong kind of man is just too great a bill for her future child to have to pay.
 
May 6, 2008, 4:06 pm CDT

Don't Understand

I have never understood people who "mooch" off others. Maybe because I always had a job, found a way to make ends meet. These people are just the leeches of society. 40 Years Old, living in sis's basement...oh my. He should thank his lucky stars he is able-bodied and of sound mind to have the chance TO WORK. The whole thing is just ridiculous. He is a "night owl" - ok, so work at night! A cab driver is an excellent choice for something like that.

What burns me more is people like mom and sister who won't say no. As long as they continue to give in and give him what he wants, they have no right to complain about his circumstance. Many peoples' childhoods are not ideal... but they get over it and move on and contribute to society.
 
May 6, 2008, 4:32 pm CDT

05/06 Moochers

Quote From: diamondhead

Let me tell you that I didn't even need to see this show today. I knew how it was going to come down. These people have no one to blame BUT THEMSELVES!!!!!!!!!!   These parents today have got to start to let their kids take care of themselves!! I hear it EVERYDAY from parents. It's unbelievable how parents raise their kids today. Then they wonder why they become MOOCHERS!!!  Give me a break. Part of parenting is to teach your kids to take care of themselves. And today ALOT of parents don't do that?? I don't understand it. These parents are paying for their cars, their insurance for the car, their CELL PHONES, their gas. Heck their even paying for their kids to get tanned in a tanning booth. Their paying for their make up, their dates, THEIR EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!  WHAT IS WRONG WITH PARENTS TODAY????  And THEN THEY WONDER WHY THEY DON'T WANT TO WORK??????????/  THEY DON'T HAVE TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    I know kids that are 19 or 20 still living at home having their mother still do their LAUNDRY???  COME ON!!!  YOUR NOT TEACHING THEM TO TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES!!!!!  WHY don't parents get this? kids appreciate things more when they work for the things they want. When someone else is paying for it, they don't care about the things they have, because they have nothing to LOSE!! they didn't pay for it!!!  UNBELIEVABLE!!!! 

like I said at the beginning of this letter. PARENTS DON'T HAVE ANYBODY TO BLAME>>BUT THEMSELVES!!!  These kids today really scare me. And their going to be in charge of this country one day. I'm glad I won't be around.    I have 2 grown boys. Are they perfect>> NO>>>  But everything they own and have they worked for. We didn't GIVE them anything. And believe me, I'm glad we did it that way. Ofcourse I help out when I have extra money, but most of the time I don't!!  They learned if they want something, they have to work for it.Thats all I have to say. I hope parents out there read this, and understand what I'm saying. And for the parents out there who made their kids work for what they have>>> You've done them a BIG favor!!!!                    

Great post!  I agree with you 100%. I never even once paid my kids car insurance. Why should I? I wasn't driving their car (and they paid for that too by working!) Now they are self-sufficient adults and I am sure they are as proud of themselves as we are of them. It seems the parents these days -a lot of them-are enablers and allow their kids to do this to them.
 
May 6, 2008, 4:50 pm CDT

oh come on........

 

 

      Both these two need too get off they're behinds and a get job! I'am a single mom have been for the better part of my adult life, my daughter is "speical needs" and depends on me ........ I work a part-time job and earn a very low income, I've always manage too put food on the table and roof over our heads!   there is nothing wrong with working a McDonalds, its  a honest pay check!   You do what you have too do in this world!!

 

  These two serisouly need too GROW UP!  both of them make me want too scream...... poor a$$ excuses that's all I heard!   suck it up and get a job!!!!!

 
May 6, 2008, 4:53 pm CDT

05/06 Moochers

Quote From: gammy58

Great post!  I agree with you 100%. I never even once paid my kids car insurance. Why should I? I wasn't driving their car (and they paid for that too by working!) Now they are self-sufficient adults and I am sure they are as proud of themselves as we are of them. It seems the parents these days -a lot of them-are enablers and allow their kids to do this to them.

"These parents are paying for their cars, their insurance for the car, their CELL PHONES, their gas"

 

Not only shouldn't parents do that, because it seems so disfunctional, but shouldn't kids be helping to pay some bills if they still live at home? 

 
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