Topic : 07/22 Male Egos Out of Control

That is something I  touched on in my last message, although I labeled these guys narcissists.  Both related problems, both personality disorders.  I would guess that most women have had a bad experience with one of the above types. After all, they do exist in the general population at about 1-2%.  The title of this show was Male Egos, but I would have liked a different wrap up that could possibly save at least one woman from this kind of life experience with either a narcissist or a sociopath. 

I would have liked to have seen information on warning signs, how to deal with these personalities, how they tend to brainwash unsuspecting victims, etc.  I just see these types of personalities so frequentlly on the show (i.e. the compulsive liar on the previous day) and I think they need to be labeled for the dangerous personalities they are, that they do not respond to help or treatment, that they present themselves are charming for awhile and in certain situations, but are ultimately the most abusive and life denying  types of personalities that can suck the life out of, and make normal people doubt themselves.  They can also stalk and have other additions.  Be sure of that. 

Why play up their charm on the Dr. Phil show that is so dedicated to high priniciples and has helped so many people?  These types are afraid of closeness and ultimately abuse the people who are in their life but because they are so schooled in presenting their veneer, half the people in their life make the abused one feel like they are crazy because he/she does not show this side to everyone.  They live in fantasy land as well. They have no real friends, just contacts, and feeders for their narcissistic needs.  They are really sicker than just about any of the victimized people one would ever see on the Dr. Phil show but for whatever reason, the media plays into their self-adoration. 

Women are really catching on to an understanding of this narcissist/sociopath problem, especially with all the information and activity readily available on the internet.  A woman really, really needs to educate herself, and men too, because there are women with these personalities too.  I have educated myself, I spot the red flags just like that, and I get rid of people like this in my life if I can because no good can ever come of this.  If tone has been victims of these charmers, and do not understand the dynamics, it can waste years of these lives in self-doubt, poor self-esteem, lost dreams, make excuses for their behavior, think it is their fault, etc.  Understanding is absolutely crucial for self-preservation.  They do not operate in any way with the mind set that you and I operate with and it is pointless to try to figure out their motivations, because they are really living in a different world. 

Do, if you think any of these guys are anyone you  want to spend time with because they are sparking your chemisty or you think you can "fix" them , think again, educate yourself on the sociopathic and narcissistc personality disorder.  It will save you years of hearache, self-doubt, and lost dreams, and you can never fix them. 

The guys on the show suffer from an extreme lack of self-awareness and maturity for their age. They need to get real within themselves, be authentic before they will ever find "the One". How can you find the person that's right when you're not even being yourself? All the "game" playing, head games, "strategies" and unrealistic "philosophies" of women are doing nothing but make them look ridiculous.

They seem to be the type of guys who have always focused all their attention on themselves instead of getting to know other people, especially people of the opposite sex. All this macho muscle man stuff impresses guys not girls. Most women find guys like that to be self-absorbed meatheads. Their are always exceptions though. I'd suggest mingling with women body builders.

And for the 32 year old, I thought he was like 24 with the way he acted. He was all proud that he got the attention of a superficial girl talking on her phone? That takes nothing, girls like that's "game" is all about getting the attention of men. Remember like attracts like, and becareful what you with for!

Can't blame the guys.  They have a natural instinct to conquer females.  Of course, there are different

behavior ways of doing it.  There are what you call the mating games - finding your mate.   And there are

the ones who uses women for recreation --- for pleasure and sex.  And there are ones that needs it all

the time --- addicted to women for attention and sex.  Something went wrong between Mother and son

during childhood I'm sure.   And not to mention the EVIL ones that preys on woman and kills them.  

Guess what,  there are women likes these guys, too.  Don't think its all men.  There are a lot of sick people out there.  Why do you think there are over 60% of marriages ending up in divorce?  It can't be fix.  It's too late.  Thank God there are still some good and decent ones out there.  Some time in the future,  if you can't win them over to the good side --- the saying goes ---- if you can't win 'em  join 'em.

I thoroughly enjoyed the show yesterday...but a very prominent thought kept going through my head, and I am surprised that Dr. Phil didn't delve deeper into these guys and why they are doing this.  Especially the "World's Worst Person."  He had to have everything twisted his way...no exceptions.  He was very narrow-minded and only chose to see it from one perspective.  Do you ever think that they might want to find out what the problem is (I know they don't perceive they have any)?  Or are they too egotistical to find out?   

I suspect that somewhere back when these guys were young, they were rejected by a mother, a sister, or a lover and were jilted pretty badly.  Now they feel they must over-compensate for everything and only accept girls in "their class."  It is like a very bad domineering game.  They want these girls to know that they are powerful and superior in every way.  Look, these guys are definitely not perfect, and who really wants "perfection." it is boring.  They think they are...and in like kind they they want as close to "perfection" in a girl that they can get.  I think it is the chase that matters to these guys, their superiority; once they get women into bed, it seems like it is such a letdown for them when they see all the imperfections in full view.  Sad.  And sad for the women who fall for it. 

Just when I thought I'd heard it all...your show on pigs.  And I don't mean the bacon kind.  I am speachless at the way those two boys behaved.  I am sure their respective mothers are DYING right now.  When I see people acting that outrageously, it makes me think surely it's just a put on for their 15 minutes of fame.  But would I like to be a fly on the wall when, if those two ever get it together, find a partner and procreate, for them to watch their own little daughter's treated in like manner by some younger, finer, better-game pig in her future!

My only disappointment is that someone needed to stand up and tell them both that they aren't that hot.  Especially Mr. Atlanta...he'll be at the Hair Club for Men soon!  ANd PS to Atlanta...a hundred grand a year is really not that much to be boasting so loudly about!

John and Paul are not any different than the same kind of men that grew up in the 60's. We used to call them the, "Slam, bam, thank you, Mame," date. Word got around and the wholesome girls stayed away. The ones who were out for adventure, depressed, or just plain loose women were the ones who knowingly played with these men. Both John and Paul are sociopathic narcissists. The narcissist is totally self-absorbed; the sociopath has no feeling. It is so sad these guys are such a waste to mankind. I wonder if either of them encountered a transvestite? I wonder how many spreadsheets they are on? And, what the heck are they going to do when they are 50? What is missing in their brains that they think that what they are doing is a good thing? Psychologically, they are rapist and murder the innocence of women who never wanted to meet someone of their caliber in the first place. Anyone can become a master manipulator; but not everyone can become a sociopathic narcissist. These guys are sick!

And, I agree with you! Actually, we could get an idea now of the future. What Dr. Phil should do is get an artist (or do it on the computer) to do an age-progression on these two guys. I think that would be an eye-opener for both of them. Do you agree? I would really like to see how they age. 

I personally didn't think John was in the least bit attractive even before he opened his mouth! Once he started talking, the lack of attraction turned into total disgust!!! He is most definitely NOT all that and a bag of chips! He thinks he's so wonderful based on his accomplishments, but a woman of quality would care what's in his heart and what else he has to talk about besides himself. I think if he got a date there most likely would never be a second--he's a pompous ass.

As for Paul, I did not find him nearly as offensive. I was that way too when I was single, I just didn't keep stats. As long as there is no pretense that the situation is anything other than what it is, and it's between consenting adults I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as you're careful. The fact  that he is capable of monogamy tells me that this is just a choice to enjoy being single and sow some oats while he can. Hopefully he gets it out of his system before his looks go!

How exactly is it consenting adults when one is secretly drinking soda while plying the other with drinks?

Does he tell the woman of the moment...'oh, by the way, I'm getting you loaded so you'll be easier to manipulate back to my apartment'?  I don't think so.   They both suck.  And I agree with another writer, their mothers must feel sick at what they've raised.  They are both sad, sick little men.  And in the light of day, when no one's around, they know it too.  They need their ego stoked because they are hollow inside.