Topic : 07/22 Male Egos Out of Control

I do completely agree that women need to take responsibility and not get themselves involved with these kinds of guys.  And, I, for one, always thought I was the most responsible kind of woman.  However, because of lack of knowledge and unresolved stuff from my past, I got involved with more than one of these narcissistic sociopathic types of guys.  Yes, intellectually, I always knew this was stupid, but my emotions were running rampant over my unresolved issues, and the reason I got into these types of relationships was because I subconsciously wanted some kind of positive outcome with them, which I never got in my childhood.   I am simplifiying something very complex here.

But, yes, enough was enough, and the last involvement was an absolute disaster, so I did every possible thing I could think of to heal this stuff, get it right finally, and I had the time and energy to do this.  It was a freeing but painful experience to look at all of this.  I had to do this, because these patterns were ruining my life.   And, I did heal this. 

Now that I can see the red flags real easily and I know the best relationship is no contact with these folks. and even a few female forms of them have been in my life in a friendship/work context.  They are not going to change so it seems silly to even think they would.  They are satisifed with who they are.  Although I am currently single, I have to say that it is wonderful to be around people who do not have these personality disorders and addictions. 

I am kind of sensitized to the fact that these are a lot of narcissists and sociolpaths getting a lot of attention in this society and people often smile, make excuses, worship them, etc.  And, of course the double standard exists.   It just seems that that media seems to often glorify these disorders and probably would barely exist without these personalities making up a large part of news and the popular crime shows on televsion.  I think this sends the wrong message to vulnerable children, adolescents, and adults when are not healthy enough to know this is not an appropriate way to be in this world. 

It just seems that a little of that was happening on the show when the guy wanted to take lessons on how to pick up girls and went so far as to have a microphone on him to get directions from one of the guests.   Why, on earth, would a nice guy like that (the kind of guy I would want in my life) feel he is so lacking that he wants to be trained by such a sick individua?  But, thinking about that question makes one think about how the media plays up these narcissists and sociolpaths and seem to send a subtle message that if you want to get what you want in life and be heard, then start acting like someone who is either a narcissist or sociopath.  Yes, its only the media, but its tough to completely avoid the media, and it really is a reflection of what people want. 

I agree with what you've said here. It's not always a woman being irrisponsible about spotting a jerk like the guys on this show. We must consider the fact that, even though these men are without doubt, womanizing jerks that have no real respect for women, they are smooth-talkers. They can make themselves look like the greatest people in the world, Mr. Right, the man of their dreams, and that's what a lot of women want. By the time the opposite is revealed, it's too late and the damage has already been done. Most of the time, the damage is done to the woman's self esteem. It's not fair. Some women do end up falling victem to men like this because they've recently been hurt, they are looking for someone who will care about them. I fell victem to someone like that once. I didn't sleep with him (thank Buddha) but I was treated like nothing but a piece of arm candy. Had I known that he was really like that, I would have avoided him, but I had just gotten out of a relationship in which someone had really hurt me, and I was vulnerable, and it clouded my judgement.

This way of picking up women that Paul has may work, it may get him a lot of what he wants (sex) but just because it works, doesn't make it ok. Khemotherapy works on Cancer, but it's terrible for your body. Just because something is effective, doesn't mean it's good. Especially when someone's self-esteem and sense of self-worth is damaged in order to build the ego of someone else.

Also, the women on the internet dating site that turned down the first guy got a verbal and mental bashing just because she said they weren't a personality match. She didn't do anything wrong. He told her about himself, and she just wasn't interested. No crime commited here. But he still exploded at her, called her fat, insulted her and her intelligence, and shoved more things about himself down her throat. Perhaps some women get pulled into the traps of men like this because they fear what kind of reaction will come should they refuse.

Personally, I think this guy is just downright dunderheadedly stupid. He was named the worst person in the world, the audience ate him alive, and he STILL acts like everyone should love him. It's like there are bright, neon-green signs all around him saying "YOUR EGO IS TOOOO DAMN BIG FOR YOUR HEAD!!!!" and he's wearing blinders. That's just sad.

I agree... It is time we get back to morals and not be willing to subject ourselves to men like these.  I am so glad I am not looking at the dating scene anymore with losers like these two out there. 

Something I have been wanting to post but have been watching my granddaughter and haven't been able to be on here much is this.  The guy who said his drivers license was from when he was a teenager and was a fake ID... How did he get his updated picture on it?  He certainly couldn't take a fake drivers license in and pass it off as a real one with his name on it to update it, certainly they would know the difference in the DMV.

   Don't get me wrong, I have great respect for feisty and don't want to take any credit away from her but, have you not read any of my posts? I'm just a little offended when you said "Finally a woman who understands women need to take responsibility for their own actions". I have made this exact same point several times. I was just wondering if you have never noticed?

   Feisty? You should know how much that I respect you and how often we agree on so many topics. So please, take no offense over this, sometimes I feel like people only notice certain things that I say and then take it out of context and then I get jumped on because of it. And then I can make a point that someone else will also make and that comment is completely ignored. Do you know what I'm talking about? I hope that I'm not going in circles here, I can be good at that too! LOL!!! Anyway, have a great day!

With Respect,

Jewels

I used to act like these men do. Some say that woman don't have to try hard to get a man to sleep with them, but they are wrong. Not all woman have it so easy. Well my point is that I can't be pissed at guys that act like this and have a 100 one night stands. Women should not expect a relationship if she sleeps with a man on the first date. Its that simple. So yes the guys are jerks but the women who sleep with them and expect something more than just sex are stupid.

Well sometimes these women are duped. Not everyone's situation is the same. I'm sure some men like this would lie and say whatever the woman would want to hear just do he can get some action. Some men are slimey like that. They will promise a woman the world if he can get her into bed with it.

But you do have a point. Sleeping with someone on the first date isn't a good idea. It runs the risk of that kind of thing happening. Personally, I don't see a point in one night stands. There's so much at risk with that.