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Topic : 05/09 Mama Drama

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Created on : Friday, May 02, 2008, 01:33:02 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
We've all got a mom, and they all come with different personalities, and in different shapes and sizes. While some are more traditional, like June Cleaver, others are controlling drama queens. First meet Jessica. She says that becoming a mom was one of the happiest moments in her life, but it has taken a huge toll on her marriage. She gained over 50 pounds having her children, and now her husband says she looks like the Pillsbury Doughboy. He even points to pigs and says to his kids, 'Look, there's Mommy.' What does Dr. Phil say this couple must do to restore their relationship? Next, Kathleen calls her mom, Grace, the biggest drama queen. She says she's so controlling, she will throw tantrums if things don’t go her way. Grace says she's just a concerned, caring mother who likes to state her opinion. Will Grace admit her behavior is over the top, and is she ready to make a change? Then, 14-year-old Sheri claims she has the most embarrassing mom in the world! She says her mom, Monique, will break into song and dance anywhere at anytime. But will she at the Dr. Phil show? And, you won't want to miss Robin's favorite Mother’s Day present ideas. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.


 
cndrlla
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May 10, 2008, 9:55 am PDT

05/09 Mama Drama

Quote From: peapiepam2

i am so glad you decided to write and let us all know how angry and bitter you are....even after losing your weight, it apparently had no effect on your happiness what so ever. thanks for absolutly no insight, and you apparenlty watched the wrong channel because i've never seen dr.phil coddle. he's a straight shooter.
Got THAT right!
 
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jessi1128
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May 10, 2008, 9:55 am PDT

Thank you

Quote From: Pleasance

Jessica, I'm deeply sorry that your husband is a difficult bully.

 

In the field  its called abuse,  emotional and verbal abuse.

 

I didn't think his actions, his choices and behavior towards you was anything but.

 

I had deep concern that this 'weight issue' of his was not the only area he justified his abusive behavior.

 

And the way he used the kids and involved them, against you.  I'm so sorry.

 

I applaud you for your weight loss, because this is what you want ...  I'm sure you're working hard at it.  Do it for yourself as its what YOU want, do it for your health.

 

Please , sweet gal , do NOT allow your husband 's abuse to drag you down or prevent you from taking good care of YOU. 

 

YOU can't change him, NOTHING you do will ever change him.

 

HE NEEDS TO MAKE CHANGES IN HIS BEHAVIOR AND CHOICES.  Most abusers, don't. Sorry to say.

 

I do hope when you do a follow-up with Dr. Phil....or as you work with Dr. Phil.......I do hope you bring up his continuance of the abuse.

 

Is Dr. Phil....providing a counselor for you, so as to get " a spine implant "  so you can stand up to any and all of this nonsense? 

 

There was certainly more than a weight issue happening here.

 

Did you know that love is not about hurt?

 

Your husband has  lots of homework to do...on himself.

 

You stay strong.

 

 

 

Take care.

 

 

 

 

Thank you so much for that!! It made me feel really good. He helped to get the trainner and nutritionist like he promised but also we do need counsuling and that wasn't provided but if and when we go back I am going to ask for that! Again thank you!!
 
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gumintwrkr
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May 10, 2008, 10:09 am PDT

05/09 Mama Drama

Quote From: gwarrior6

More fat abusers? How depressing! Society has been grooming this abuse for some time- skinny is chic, skinny is healthy, heroin addict is the 'ideal look'. You can't even have a natural pair ofC-cups (male or female) anymore without being labeled a 'fatty'. We got the message, carrying around extra weight isn't healthy/aesthetic, quit hammering the indoctrination of fat-hate into the general public. The importance of beauty is just the symptom of a fallen society.

Jessica's husband is the pig here, not her. It's hard to lose weight after having a baby, maybe HE should gain 30 lbs and take some estrogen pills and see how hot HE looks! It's hard even when you excercise, eat right, and breast feed. If appearance is the only reason that he married her, then no wonder he's so disappointed,because that's all the relationship was based on. If he's that worried aboutit, why doesn't he PAY for the plastic surgery? Until then, he needs to shuthis mouth andget HIMSELF in shape.

Yah, I agree Jessica's husband is the pig.  Donuts to dollars he was one of those 'pretty boys' in high school who lots of girls worshipped, but the girls with any sense saw through his facade.

 

I do have to wonder, though, if he didn't pick on her before they even got married.  A bullying, self centered ***** is going to be a jerk about a lot of things.  I agree with Dr. Phil...Jessica needs to grow a backbone and stop allowing this kind of behavior from him.

 

If he had any shame and compassion, he wouldn't be doing this to her.  It gives me the willies to even think even touching someone like him.

 

 

 

 
 
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princessgina
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May 10, 2008, 10:55 am PDT

Hey girl

Quote From: jessi1128

THanks but I had tried to lose weight I went to the gym and worked out and Ido eat healthy but nothing would work. Finally with Dr Phil's help and his book and a trainner I have lost 20 lbs and he is still an asshole so trying to lose weight doesn't change anything. But thanks for your input.
I saw you on the show and i felt so bad for you. He has no right to treat you like that. Congrates on 20 pounds gone keep it up! Then once you feel good about you then to heck with him.
 
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mitzisweets
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May 10, 2008, 11:25 am PDT

Mama Drama - Jessica

I find it disgusting that her husband treats Jessica the way he is for being fat. Calling her names is definitely not making her feel good and she may eat because of it.  She is his   wife and the mother of his children. Have some respect, hombre!

 

I hope he changes his ways, otherwise she would be better  off without him. It looks as if he wants a sex object not a life companion. She must make an effort to lose weight though for her own good health.

Dr Phil can help.

 

Wishing you all the best Jessica.

 

mitzisweets
 
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mitzisweets
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May 10, 2008, 11:31 am PDT

Reply to Melissa

Quote From: tribsaint

First off let me tell you a little bit about my background. I am a 37 year old mother of two beautiful children.

I lost my husband in November of 2006 when he flipped a cement mixer he was driving. My husband died the day before our son turned 2 months old.

 

Both of my children have health problems. My 3 year old daughter has Epilepsy. Scary experience when she goes into seizures. My 20 month old son has Multi-Cystic Kidney Disease, and has already had one of his kidneys removed.

 

In spite of all the trials I have been through in the last year and a half I continue to love and raise my children. They are a blessing to my given to my by God. He chose me to raise these two beautiful children on my own for a reason. I am not sure what that reason is but I do not resent my children for that.

 

I have went back to school to get a degree so that I can find a well paying job that has good insurance benefits. I do not want to have to depend on Medicaid for their medical care. Working at a job that pays anywhere from $7.00-9.00 doesn't make it because one of my daughter's medications is over $7,000.00 for 15 doses.

 

Despite those hardships mentioned above I survive and provide for my children the best that I can. My children are a blessing to me. I love them without condition and they love me. I know there will be more tough times ahead as they grow older, but with the help from God and my love they will live to lead productive lives and raise happy healthy families of their own.

 

To all the mothers out there I wish them a very happy Mother's Day.

 

Melissa

 

 

Melissa you are a wonder. God bless you. I am not religious but if there is a god who has inspired you he is definitely a powerful one.

 

Happy Mother's Day!

 

mitzisweets
 
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gumintwrkr
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May 10, 2008, 2:05 pm PDT

05/09 Mama Drama

Quote From: mimiskb

I totally agree with you.  Dr. Phil's question put the blame for her weight gain on the husband, not on the person putting the food in their mouth.  The husband can't help whether he is attracted to a heavy woman or not, although he doesn't have to be so ugly about it.   She has 2 choices: lose the weight or lose the husband, neither loss sounds like a bad deal.
I think Dr. Phil was trying to point out that she didn't get pregnant on her own. Jared (is that his name?) acted like she got pregnant and fat to spite him, or something.

 

If Jared "didn't think" that having two babies that close in succession was going to have an impact on her body, then that just proves he's one of many who go about life entirely too ignorant and unlearned.  I don't know about her mindset, but he needed to wait until he was more mature before he produced offspring.

 

I agree Jessica needs to lose weight, although it is highly unlikely she'll ever go back to being 110 pounds.  Additionally, if Jared thinks Jessica's stretched abdomen and breasts are going to turn back to the way the were, he has another think coming.  If she agrees to have, and if he agrees to pay for painful, possibly dangerous plastic surgery, then maybe she can become his idea of a "dream girl". 

 

I think she should lose the weight AND Jared, unless, of course, he goes through some kind of major personality metamorphosis.
 
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Pleasance

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May 10, 2008, 2:43 pm PDT

Ok, then........

Quote From: jessi1128

Thank you so much for that!! It made me feel really good. He helped to get the trainner and nutritionist like he promised but also we do need counsuling and that wasn't provided but if and when we go back I am going to ask for that! Again thank you!!

Ok, then.....  perhaps you could contact Dr. Phil or  one of his people.

 

Be honest with them about circumstances and ask for some counseling for YOU.  Individual counseling for YOU.  A way for you to collect yourself, find yourself again...without judgment from husband.  A way to get your self esteem back and hold on to it, as Dr. Phil put it ...a spine implant. 

 

 

 

As I mentioned before you can't change husband.  And HE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS OWN STUFF!

 

You are responsible for YOU and of course your children also.  Wouldn't things be easier if you had some help to get things back on track?

 

Wishing you continued success in YOUR goals.

 

Take care.

 

PS

There is an abuse message board for posting here on Dr. Phil's site. In case you'd like reality checks from time to time or just to vent. 

 

If you ever stop by...its listed under RELATIONSHIPS/SEX .... then MARRIAGE....then ABUSE.

 

 Take care.

 

 
 
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jessi1128
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May 10, 2008, 4:50 pm PDT

THank you

Quote From: paradis44

I was the singing mom from mama drama.  I feel the need to stick up for Jessica and all these post about her.  A big thing with any weight gain is stress.  When the person you are in love with and desperately need support from and reassurance that you are beautiful constantly puts you down it makes it very hard to lose that weight.  I'm sure everyone who has had children had someone encouraging them.  Sometimes it is very hard to loose weight after pregnancy and even harder when the pregnancies are back to back.  Jessica I am so proud that you have already lost 20 pounds good for you.  I'm sorry he's still being difficult.  It's hard when there is no support but you have to continue.  You are beautiful and don't listen to him.  Maybe you should try counseling.  Seems to me that he may need some professional help.  Don't let his words and actions take away what you have been working hard for. 
Thank you so much for that!!
 
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getrealtime
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May 11, 2008, 6:15 am PDT

05/09 Mama Drama

Quote From: jessi1128

THanks but I had tried to lose weight I went to the gym and worked out and Ido eat healthy but nothing would work. Finally with Dr Phil's help and his book and a trainner I have lost 20 lbs and he is still an asshole so trying to lose weight doesn't change anything. But thanks for your input.

Jess, you are not that much over weight, They say the average size for women is 14!!! What I didn't like about the show, was you where never asked, If it wasn't for your Ahole of a hubby would you be worried about your weight ?

 

I'm glad that you are losing, if it makes you happy!! but your hubby, WOW,  I never heard a man complain about any womens breast getting bigger!! So its not about your weight, he is just a little man suffering from the little man syndrom. They like to pretent that they are better, and build a false wall around themselfs, Like when he said he comes from money, well that is his mom and dads money not his, so he used their success and attached to himself, because he lacks success of his own,

You when you where thinner, made him feel as if he was a ladys man, with the hot chick at his sided, because, someone else said it best on the board he looks like pee wee, and most women wouldn''t give him a second look, and when he was with you pre. child weight, he got second looks but it was you who got the looks and not him. he just injoyed it.

 

you today could go out and find a better looking, more successful, loveing, mature man, who will take you as you are, and who you want to be. cut pee wee off, before he turns your children like him.

 
 
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