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Topic : 05/09 Mama Drama

Number of Replies: 117
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, May 02, 2008, 01:33:02 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
We've all got a mom, and they all come with different personalities, and in different shapes and sizes. While some are more traditional, like June Cleaver, others are controlling drama queens. First meet Jessica. She says that becoming a mom was one of the happiest moments in her life, but it has taken a huge toll on her marriage. She gained over 50 pounds having her children, and now her husband says she looks like the Pillsbury Doughboy. He even points to pigs and says to his kids, 'Look, there's Mommy.' What does Dr. Phil say this couple must do to restore their relationship? Next, Kathleen calls her mom, Grace, the biggest drama queen. She says she's so controlling, she will throw tantrums if things don’t go her way. Grace says she's just a concerned, caring mother who likes to state her opinion. Will Grace admit her behavior is over the top, and is she ready to make a change? Then, 14-year-old Sheri claims she has the most embarrassing mom in the world! She says her mom, Monique, will break into song and dance anywhere at anytime. But will she at the Dr. Phil show? And, you won't want to miss Robin's favorite Mother’s Day present ideas. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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May 9, 2008, 7:39 am CDT

Understanding

 I would just like to say that I feel for that lady. I have had a complete hysterectomy and for years didn't gain any weight. In the last year I have gained at least 20 pounds and am not comfortable with the way I look. My husband I don't think means it in a mean way but will sometimes say "good gosh honey that bellies handing out there," It does hurt my feelings and I do want to lose some weight but I can't afford a gym membership at our local YMCA, I have been there as a guest and loved it. I wish that people and our families could and would Love us for who we are and not for what we look like. Encouragement goes a long way!
 
May 9, 2008, 7:51 am CDT

Please....

Quote From: minister4him

Well, I am weighing in here before seeing the actual program, but I would like to make two statements.  One is in response to this message.  I don't know what type of man Jessica's husband is.  He may very well be a pig for not being more understanding of her situation/condition.  But at the same time for you to say that he is a pig because he wants his wife to loose weight is also wrong.  We are going from end of the spectrum to the other.  You saying that because she has gotten pregnant and gained weight that its alright.  Everyone woman is different, but having children is not an excuse for being overweight.  My wife has had two children is now 40 years old and she is in better shape than the day we got married.  Could Jessica's husband speak to her in a more loving way while conveying his dissatisfaction, I positive he could.

 

The next point that I would like to state would be directed toward a comment that Dr. Phil made during one the previews for this show.  He asked Jessica if she gained this weight after getting pregnant?  To which her response was "yes".  Dr. Phil proceeded to ask who got her pregnant, at which point she looks at her husband.  There so many places I could go here.  Did he provide the sperm, yeah.  Did she provide the egg, well yeah.  Are we now to blame the husband fo the weight that our wives gain while being pregnant?  If so, why stop there?  We should be charged for every crime that any woman has committed from having Post Pardom Depression, and I could go on.  C'mon, let's keep the blame where it needs to be.  Jessica is responsible for her own body.  What she needs to do is be satisfied with her own body.  If this is the weight she is satisfied and being at, then so be it.  It is also up to her to loose weight for her husband if she thinks that will please him, but she also needs to do because she wants to.  Also, Jessica's husband need to come to grips that this may be the weight that Jessica will be.  Did he marry her strictly for her looks?  I am not a counselor, but I bet that if they are having problems in their marriage, even if Jessica looses the weight, something else is going to be the problem.  I have more to say, but I will stop there.

 

First, I never said he was a "pig".  He married this woman, he committed before God and/or the court to be with this woman through "sickness and in health".  He therefore has the problem- being shallow.  Attraction extends beyond the physical, and if he wasn't attracted to anything but her body, then he shouldn't have made the commitment to be with a woman he had nothing in common with and wasn't attracted enough to her personality to LOVE her.  He has to take accountability for walking down that aisle and signing that marriage license, because he has no one to blame but himself.

 

Second, just because she's big doesn't give him THE RIGHT TO ABUSE HER!  This is ABUSE.  Psychological and verbal ABUSE.  Why is THAT okay?  If you think it's okay to belittle someone to manipulate them into doing what you want them to, then I feel sorry for your wife and kids.

 

Third, I never said it was alright to carry a bunch of weight around.  IF he truly loved his wife, he wouldn't  ABUSE her, so maybe your theory about him being a pig was dead on.  Has it occurred to you that maybe she has a health problem that keeps her from losing the weight?  Hypothyroidism, depression, Cushing's Disease, PPD, Diabetes, and so on keep people from losing weight.  You seem uneducated about this, but it's either extremely cruel or extremely ignorant to assume that 1) abuse is an efficient means to control your spouse in a slavery type situation and 2) The health of the woman doesn't matter or come into play.

 

Fourth, I have no doubt in my mind that Jessica is dissatisfied with her weight.  Do you think she WANTS to be unhealthy?  Do you think she WANTS her husband to call her names, worsen the abuse and cause her to eat MORE?  This isn't an issue of man-hating, as she would be the pig if the roles were reversed.

The crux of the issue here is the man's self esteem being so low that he has to "level" things to keep his wife down, a tactic used by trashy people.

 
May 9, 2008, 8:10 am CDT

No blame here...

Quote From: minister4him

Well, I am weighing in here before seeing the actual program, but I would like to make two statements.  One is in response to this message.  I don't know what type of man Jessica's husband is.  He may very well be a pig for not being more understanding of her situation/condition.  But at the same time for you to say that he is a pig because he wants his wife to loose weight is also wrong.  We are going from end of the spectrum to the other.  You saying that because she has gotten pregnant and gained weight that its alright.  Everyone woman is different, but having children is not an excuse for being overweight.  My wife has had two children is now 40 years old and she is in better shape than the day we got married.  Could Jessica's husband speak to her in a more loving way while conveying his dissatisfaction, I positive he could.

 

The next point that I would like to state would be directed toward a comment that Dr. Phil made during one the previews for this show.  He asked Jessica if she gained this weight after getting pregnant?  To which her response was "yes".  Dr. Phil proceeded to ask who got her pregnant, at which point she looks at her husband.  There so many places I could go here.  Did he provide the sperm, yeah.  Did she provide the egg, well yeah.  Are we now to blame the husband fo the weight that our wives gain while being pregnant?  If so, why stop there?  We should be charged for every crime that any woman has committed from having Post Pardom Depression, and I could go on.  C'mon, let's keep the blame where it needs to be.  Jessica is responsible for her own body.  What she needs to do is be satisfied with her own body.  If this is the weight she is satisfied and being at, then so be it.  It is also up to her to loose weight for her husband if she thinks that will please him, but she also needs to do because she wants to.  Also, Jessica's husband need to come to grips that this may be the weight that Jessica will be.  Did he marry her strictly for her looks?  I am not a counselor, but I bet that if they are having problems in their marriage, even if Jessica looses the weight, something else is going to be the problem.  I have more to say, but I will stop there.

I wasn't blaming anyone, where did you get that?

 

The fact is, this is abuse, and this is NOT okay.  He's a pig because he's abusing her and thinks leveling is an okay outlet.  Losing weight after a baby isn't impossible, but it takes time (9months to put it on, 9 months to take it off), and even more time if you have physical problems (Hypothyroidism) or psychological (PPD). 

 

Jessica isn't satisfied with the extra weight, she needs to get a physical to rule out he possible problems. If the shoe were on the other foot, the board would be littered with men (and women) denouncing her as the "b".  And then other posters blaming him for being de-balled and taking it.  So it comes down to blaming the victim of verbal abuse, which is probably a contributing factor to WHY she is overweight. 

 
May 9, 2008, 8:14 am CDT

Robin's give away

Was watching Dr. Phil as it is a show my 77 year old mother loves watching. Robin was giving all mothers a give away gift. Than it was said go online to Dr Phil's web page to enter for the gifts that are giving away. I went on the web page and couldn't find anything except for the 20% off for flowers.
 
May 9, 2008, 8:49 am CDT

Re: GIFT GIVE AWAY

Quote From: dianemary

Was watching Dr. Phil as it is a show my 77 year old mother loves watching. Robin was giving all mothers a give away gift. Than it was said go online to Dr Phil's web page to enter for the gifts that are giving away. I went on the web page and couldn't find anything except for the 20% off for flowers.
There is a link on the right hand side of  the show page for todays show. 

This is the link to the entry information. 

http://www.drphil.com/plugger/respond/?plugID=12165
 
May 9, 2008, 10:44 am CDT

What's with these guys!?

I don't undertsnad how these guys can call their wives fat when they are the ones getting them pregnant in the first place! I was a skinny gal before i got pregnant. My wieght has always been an issue with me so i try to lose all the time. My husband never got mad cause I had wieght after the baby. Now I am a lot smaller then before but it's hard for a woman to get back after the baby. Now 12 years later my husband still thinks i look good. These guys must have issues with themselves which is why they pick on their wives. Grow up boys or the wives and kids will go bye bye.
 
May 9, 2008, 11:09 am CDT

wake up

Quote From: gwarrior6

 

More fat abusers?  How depressing!  Society has been grooming this abuse for some time- skinny is chic, skinny is healthy, heroin addict is the "ideal look".  You can't even have a natural pair of C-cups (male or female) anymore without being labeled a "fatty".  We got the message, carrying around extra weight isn't healthy/aesthetic, quit hammering the indoctrination of fat-hate into the general public.  The importance of beauty is just the symptom of a fallen society.

 

Jessica's husband is the pig here, not her.  It's hard to lose weight after having a baby, maybe HE should gain 30 lbs and take some estrogen pills and see how hot HE looks!  It's hard even when you excercise, eat right, and breast feed.  If appearance is the only reason that he married her, then no wonder he's so disappointed, because that's all the relationship was based on.  If he's that worried about it, why doesn't he PAY for the plastic surgery?   Until then, he needs to shut his mouth and get HIMSELF in shape. 

wake up to that pretty girl, please dont have an accident or start getting wrinkles, because he really doesnt love her . love has no looks, no size, love is completely pure from the heart. and i feel bad for their girls lord forbid they grow up chubby.what? then daddy makes fun of you ,and doesnt love you and will leave you. and she is teaching them disrespect for women is ok because she tollerates this ,so lets see what men they choose. just sad to me.
 
May 9, 2008, 12:13 pm CDT

05/09 Mama Drama

OMG...the show is on now.  and.................I was RIGHT.  that hubby isn't exactly the image of 'beauty' himself..either.  what's up with that?!!!!!!!  

 

Dear Dr. Phil...again..a show idea....'OH MY, Dr. Phil.....I woke up and my hubby didn't morph into Brad Pitt. what shoud I do????'  

 

LOL!!!!!!!!!

 

today...Dr. Phil........I'm sorta loving you.  :) 

 

to women out there........lose weight for YOU. NOT some stupid man.  high..five...

 
May 9, 2008, 12:47 pm CDT

ummm ok

Quote From: mimiskb

I totally agree with you.  Dr. Phil's question put the blame for her weight gain on the husband, not on the person putting the food in their mouth.  The husband can't help whether he is attracted to a heavy woman or not, although he doesn't have to be so ugly about it.   She has 2 choices: lose the weight or lose the husband, neither loss sounds like a bad deal.

1st off I don't eat and eat and eat. 2nd I had been on a diet and I had been working out. It was the fact that I was getting depressed by the way he spoke to me. Maybe you should ask the person before you assume!!!

 
May 9, 2008, 12:53 pm CDT

05/09 Mama Drama

Quote From: mimiskb

I totally agree with you.  Dr. Phil's question put the blame for her weight gain on the husband, not on the person putting the food in their mouth.  The husband can't help whether he is attracted to a heavy woman or not, although he doesn't have to be so ugly about it.   She has 2 choices: lose the weight or lose the husband, neither loss sounds like a bad deal.
I agree with you. Jared's calling Jessica names and making fun of her is ugly, counter-productive behavior, and Dr Phil was right to call him out for this. But, asking Jared who got Jessica pregnant implied that Dr Phil blamed him for her weight gain. While Jared did get Jessica pregnant, he didn't tie her down and force-feed her.
 
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