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Topic : 08/06 Nuptial Nightmares

Number of Replies: 224
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, May 16, 2008, 02:19:56 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 05/19/08) Many little girls dream of the perfect wedding day with a fairytale gown, beautiful flowers and their handsome groom, but Dr. Phil's guests say their wedding bells hit a sour note. Amy says the day she and Steve tied the knot turned into a disaster. The sun scorched the guests, then there was a downpour, the wedding arch fell and hit the pastor, and the cake crumbled as they were cutting it. She says it was a huge dream shattered, and she can't move past it. Steve says he had a blast, and Amy needs to lighten up. What does Dr. Phil think? Then, shortly after Mandy and her husband, Kris, said "I do," a three-story deck collapsed, and they and 30 of their family and friends were seriously injured.  Mandy says she left her wedding strapped to a stretcher, and she and Kris spent their wedding night in the emergency room. Although this took place over two years ago, the couple thinks about it every day. How can they overcome their guilt? And, Kurt and Brandi recently renewed their vows because they say they wanted a fresh start to their seven-year marriage. Just months after their ceremony, Kurt filed for divorce when he found out a secret Brandi had been keeping. Will the results of polygraph tests inspire this couple to make their marriage work or end it for good? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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May 17, 2008, 9:48 pm CDT

ITA!!!!

Quote From: mlcrf4

If couples would put as much emphasis on planning the marriage as they do the wedding, there would be fewer divorces.  The wedding is one very expensive day, and if it's the high point of your life, you're in trouble. 

When people go into debt to plan that wedding, it bodes ill indeed.

 

And if the have the money and use it for the wedding instead of towards the down payment of a home, it doesn't look too good either.

 
May 17, 2008, 9:58 pm CDT

05/19 Nuptial Nightmares

Quote From: vscole

'Sounds to me like too much emphasis on the "event" rather than the marriage. My husband and I were married 38  years ago and it rained all day. Get real! The bad weather had no bearing on the success or failure of our marriage. Young people today seem so spoiled and used to having Mommy or Daddy make everything "perfect" throughout their lives, that they have often  not had to face a disappointment or a challenge.

PS:  The idea of young people having "trial marriages" etc. is disturbing to me. If both parties don't go into a marriage with commitment and the determination to work through problems and issues, it's doomed from the beginning.

My daughter and son-in-law were married almost 4 years ago.  Their wedding included flowers 2 hours late, the cake 1 1/2 hours late and the wrong one, the wedding was in Portland on the hottest day of the year with no air conditioning, the grooms mother came drunk and pulled her beautiful dress out of the same bag it was put into a month before the wedding when we all went shopping together, the flower girls mother allowed the flower girl to "romp" under the trees (pine trees) and ripped the bottom of her dress (netting), then the flower girls mother gave the flower girl taco bell before the wedding which she accidently spilled the orange meaty sauce all down the front of her, the groomsmen took the ring bearer to ice cream before the wedding in his white tux, right after the wedding was over the photographer took a few pictures and then announced he was leaving - not staying for the reception, the person in charge of the food put her back out during the reception, the top of the cake (which was not ours in the first place) fell off the top of the cake, and the lady who did our flowers suggested putting the cake on a bar-height table so that everyone could see it and I didn't think and asked my sister-in-laws, who are all under 5 feet tall, to cut the cake.  And if that doesn't get you, after the reception we were required to be out of the reception hall within two hours from the end of the reception and my mother-in-law insisted that we all stop cleaning up and go to mass!  I had to provide dinner for everyone who was from out of town and ended up sick and had to be sent to bed from the heat.  (Thank God for Kentucky Fried Chicken!)   And I won't even BEGIN to talk about the fangs that my daughter grew two weeks before the big day! Three days later I lay in the hospital with my blood pressure at 200 over 135.  Why?  Because I tried hard to keep things from "getting" to my daughter.  I wanted them to start off on the right foot.  Would it have been OK for them to know what was going on during that day?  Of course.  It was my choice to do it the way I did.

 

Even though all of this happened, my daughter and her husband don't remember any of it.  I did tell them about everything a week after the wedding (OK, when I was in the hospital) and they got very mad at me for not allowing them to know before then.  All they remember now, is how beautiful the day was, that the ring bearer took his job of guarding the rings VERY seriously, and the the guy who caught the garter and the girl who caught the bouquet used to date a long time ago and hated each other.    Even when we look at the pictures, they talk only about the positive things. 

 

Yes, things happen at weddings that can cause serious "baggage."  But that does not mean anything more than what it is.  Things are supposed to go wrong at a wedding.  Serious things like fatalities, illnesses, accidents can leave strong feelings.  But those strong feelings can be dealt with by the couple (working on it together), counseling, therapy, and time.  It does not mean the marriage is going to go bad.  If the marriage is affected by the "Nuptual Nightmares" then it is probably possible that things between the bride and groom were not strong enough fo rmarriage to begin with, or that the couple did not have much in the way of family or friends support. 

 
May 17, 2008, 10:00 pm CDT

wedding day blues

i got married on a saturday july 28  and instead of going away for a honeymoon.

    we had  to move, so we didn't have the money for honeymoon,but im ok my new husband is wonderful

   and for the frist time in my life i can say i am truely happy because he loves me for me

         so i think as long as couples have trust,love and each other then i say move on life will get better

          and always be positive  love can do anything  if you let it

                             always keep these words in your life and marrage 

                                                         god , hope,faith,trust,and love in each other

                                                                   and you will find things better each and everyday

                                                                                                         

                                                                                                                                  always hopefull

                                                                                                                                                  rosedale,in

 
May 17, 2008, 10:06 pm CDT

.....one more thing

I am sitting here, right now, looking at the love of my life.  We have been married almost 33 years.  And I guarantee you all, I would have married him standing in a heap of garbage with cutoffs and a t-shirt on in the snow!  Yes, I had a dream of what kind of wedding I wanted as a young girl.  But, when I fell in love with my husband, I didn't care what happened.  The life-long commitment to each other and the pronouncing of man and wife are what counts, here.  NOT the "stuff" and the people around you.
 
May 18, 2008, 4:13 pm CDT

05/19 Nuptial Nightmares

I am sick and tired of watching shows with people bitchin' and moanin' about how thier wedding day was ruined. Enough already! I ain't plannin' on watchin' this show.
 
May 18, 2008, 6:14 pm CDT

05/19 Nuptial Nightmares

Quote From: vscole

'Sounds to me like too much emphasis on the "event" rather than the marriage. My husband and I were married 38  years ago and it rained all day. Get real! The bad weather had no bearing on the success or failure of our marriage. Young people today seem so spoiled and used to having Mommy or Daddy make everything "perfect" throughout their lives, that they have often  not had to face a disappointment or a challenge.

PS:  The idea of young people having "trial marriages" etc. is disturbing to me. If both parties don't go into a marriage with commitment and the determination to work through problems and issues, it's doomed from the beginning.

It's easy to say to someone, "Lighten up."  I see it as a moment to remember (with a little humor); these things do happen.  But people need to respect where she's coming from.  Not everyone takes things lightly and she really felt it wasn't her Dream Wedding. 
 
May 18, 2008, 6:29 pm CDT

Nuptial nightmares

I think the bride shoudl lighten up, it was a long time ago!!!  What wonderful memories and did any one get hurt?  I'm sure that the immediate family and guest won't  forget your big day.  The groom has a sense of humor and I like that in a man. 

 

I'm happily married and this August will be 21 years.  Now, I realize that everyone girl wants to be a princess for the day and she dreams of the perfect day.  But in reality something is going to wrong.  All you can do is laugh, try to fix the problem and go on!!  It amazes me that this couple made it this long.  I think she should be more open and communicate with her spouse her true feelings.  What is marriage?  It is for better or for worse, till death do us apart..  It seems like she has some baggage that she's been carrying.  Now I think is the time for this couple to be real honest withthemselves.  Ask themselves where do they see themselves 5, 10 20, 50 or 70 years from now?  What goals do they want to achieve as a couple?  I agree with all of those couples who've made it past the 10 year annivesary, it gets better.  I also believe that it takes work, commitment, honesty and the truth to make any marriage a successful and happy one.

 
May 18, 2008, 6:32 pm CDT

05/19 Nuptial Nightmares

Quote From: housewife52

I am sick and tired of watching shows with people bitchin' and moanin' about how thier wedding day was ruined. Enough already! I ain't plannin' on watchin' this show.
Everyone has the right to watch whatever they like. I personally think you should still watch the show.  You may or may not agree, but you may learn something.  Think about your own marriage, does it need some work?  Are you happy where you are at?  You may or may not find the answers, but you can start with yourself and make yourself happy. 
 
May 18, 2008, 6:32 pm CDT

I agree

Quote From: housewife52

I am sick and tired of watching shows with people bitchin' and moanin' about how thier wedding day was ruined. Enough already! I ain't plannin' on watchin' this show.

Get over yourselves. S**t happens. Your wedding day is ONE day out of your married life. If you are going to dwell over the what could have been, what is the rest of your life going to be like?

 

Life is a series of good day's and not so good day's. It's just the way it is. Just be happy about being with the person you married.

 

Like my husband always says to me........think of it as an adventure and part of the story of your life, and smile when you tell the story. Life is a journey, embrace it!

 

God I love that man!

 
May 18, 2008, 6:35 pm CDT

05/19 Nuptial Nightmares

Quote From: coxiesgirl1

i got married on a saturday july 28  and instead of going away for a honeymoon.

    we had  to move, so we didn't have the money for honeymoon,but im ok my new husband is wonderful

   and for the frist time in my life i can say i am truely happy because he loves me for me

         so i think as long as couples have trust,love and each other then i say move on life will get better

          and always be positive  love can do anything  if you let it

                             always keep these words in your life and marrage 

                                                         god , hope,faith,trust,and love in each other

                                                                   and you will find things better each and everyday

                                                                                                         

                                                                                                                                  always hopefull

                                                                                                                                                  rosedale,in

Congratulations!  Did you get married this year, July 28, 2008?  Hopefully someday, maybe your first wedding anniversary you can go on your honeymoon. 

 

I agree, keep these words in your life and marriage God, hope, faith, trust and love in each other. 

 
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