Topic : 08/06 Nuptial Nightmares

I felt so sorry for the couple that had all their family on that balcony... what a tragic event!

As for that big ole baby on the first segment, come on now. Get over it!!  Can you say boo hoo??  I hope after seeing that second couple you can see that your "tragedy" isnt quite what you thought it was!    Focus on the marriage with as much passsion and you will have a chance at surviving!!

The day I got married my future in laws refused to allow their son to have the day off to get ready for the wedding that evening. He came home an hour before we were schedualed to get married. We had no pictures, no wedding dress, (I was ten days from delivering our son) no cake no reception. My parents were not there. No wedding gifts. I used my mother in laws engagement and wedding ring for the ceremony. I had to give it back when I reached the door to leave the wedding chapel. The justice of the peace was drunk. After the ceremony was over my mother in law asked what we had planned for the rest of the evening? Since we had spent the last fifty eight dollars we had till payday we had no plans. My husbands best friend and his wife who stood up for us decided at the last minute to take us to dinner.

That was twenty five years ago April 30 2008. We planed to renew our vows this year but instead the money we had saved to plan the wedding we never had we gave to our son, (yes the child I was carrying the day we said our vows) so he could plan the wedding he and his fiance want. You see Dr. Phil my husband and I broke the cardinal rule of finance. We invested in our children and not in ourselves. So I am still waiting for that dream wedding every little girl dreams of. I still dream about it even though I don't hold much hope it will ever happen. I am very glad my son will have a beautiful wedding this September and thats what really matters. And my marriage has seen it's ups and downs through the years but we are still together and feel just as we did the day we exchanged vows.

While watching the show today, I was wondering if the bride who thought her wedding was

"jinxed" because of the bad luck has always had everything perfect in her life?   If so, the wedding is as good a time as ever to learn that there are many problems in this world - and she is probably going to face a whole lot more (not that I am wishing anything bad on her).  At least she is married to the man she loves and who loves her.  Just stop looking back and look ahead, girl!  My granddaughter's wedding cake was cut from the "bottom upwards", without taking off the bride and groom's cake on top - and that little layer went plunging head over onto the concrete floor (outdoor wedding), but the mother of the bride quickly grabbed it, brushed it off, and grabbed some icing off the side of the cake to put back on the top of this one.  It may have been a little gritty at first bite - on their first anniversary -  but I don't think the bride ever saw what happened.  The aunt of the bride was the one cutting the cake so nothing was said.  I know it sounds like a big deal to the bride but one day, after she has gone through many other "trials", she will look back and realize this was nothing!  

I posted about this topic once but something else just occurred to me.  Why would anyone have an outside wedding in July, August, or even September (down south at least).  A nice air-conditioned church would have made everyone comfortable and let the rain come down!   So - it was poor planning on the part of the bride (or whoever decided on an outside wedding in July) -  and absolutely nothing else!

I have spent several years as an event planner and always talk to brides about the fact that the wedding is just the means for arriving at the marriage. . .and THAT is what really matters.

I didn't find Mr. Right until I was 37-years-old.  Stan, a divorced father of three, proposed to me three months after our first date--on his 46th birthday.  Because he was a Bank Trust Officer, he agreed to any date but April 15th (tax day) for our wedding--so we planned a huge wedding for April 22, 1995.  Plans proceeded beautifully until his father had a heart attack on April 13, which was going to require extensive surgery that would prevent him from attending our wedding.  So on April 15, in the intensive care unit of our local hospital--and in the presence of 24 immediate family members (including Stan's eight-day-old grandson)--we got married.

We kept our marriage quiet and focused on Stan's father's health the following week; then on April 22, Stan escorted me down the aisle of our church (amidst the whispers of the 500+ guests) to hear our minister say "Dearly Beloved, you just think you know what we're gathered for!"

Immediately following our reception, we returned to his father's bedside (80 miles away) to see how he was recovering from the quintupal bypass surgery that he had endured the day before our "renewal of vows" at the church.  Stan and I agreed that choosing to get married at the hospital on April 15th was the best decision we ever made!

We enjoyed an incredible marriage that last 12+ years--until Stan declared his independence from a courageous battle with lung cancer on July 4, 2007.

I would endure any number of wedding mishaps in order to spend more time with my beloved husband.

I think this just goes to show that the emphasis seems to be on the wedding and not on the marriage. 

When we got married, my husband had just been in an accident where he broke his neck (C3 in 4 places).  We had to skip the honeymoon (trip to Aspen), but we were still able to be married and we had FUN!  We were with our family and friends who  helped us celebrate.  We have been married over 20 years, still haven't made it to Aspen, and I wouldn't trade my wedding day and the memories for anything.  Happy is what you make of it!