Topic : 08/06 Nuptial Nightmares

This is quite fashionable now and very many brides are doing this. If I were to remarry at this point, I would skip the whole escort down the aisle. I would have liked to do that at my first, actually second wedding but I never even thought of it. Of course, that was 21 years ago. When I say first and second wedding, I have to explain this. My husband and I were married very spur of the moment at the courthouse out of town where he happened to working at the time. I had already bought a very expensive designer wedding dress, it was sooooo beautiful, and many other things for a regular wedding. I didn't want them to go to waste and I certainly wasn't about to sell "my" dress to someone else. It was also important to me for our vows to have been said by a minister and not just a judge. So, we threw a quickie wedding together in less than 2 weeks for one month after we were originally married. This also had to do with including my husbands3 children in our union. They were all in the wedding. It was very small and held in my mothers back yard. I still never really had a wedding night and we still never had a honeymoon. But what we DO have is 21 glorious years together that I wouldn't change for the world. It truly is not the wedding that matters, I can tell you that, it's what happens in the years after that counts.

So, back to my original point, this is your second marriage right? I think that it would actually be more appropriate to walk yourself down the aisle because you have already been given away once before. You really can't be given away twice. If you think about it, doesn't that make a lot of sense? After you have been traditionally given away once before, you are no longer the property of your parents, you are your own woman. If I were in your shoes, this is exactly what I would do. And it has nothing to do with your parents, if you explain to them the way that I explained it, etiquette and all, I think this would be most appropriate and both of your parents should understand. Look for an etiquette book that has this in it or find the advice on the web, there are plenty of wedding etiquette websites to choose from. Find one, and show it to your parents.

I could not agree more!  These days brides are getting too wrapped up in playing the princess on their wedding day and aren't concerned enough with what comes after the wedding -- the marriage!  I think it's ridiculous that grown women wear tiaras on their wedding day!  You're not a princess - get over it! Your wedding day should be about the joining together of two people and two lives.  It should be about unconditional love and commitment - NOT playing the princess in the final frame of some fairytale that really doesn't exist.  True, we women all dream about this day as little girls and I loved watching Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty as well, but come on - grow up!

I DO, however, believe in a reasonably priced wedding that celebrates two people who are in love and ready to make a life-long commitment.  I believe that that deserves to be celebrated!  However, too many brides and grooms today are going into major debt trying to plan a "perfect" wedding.  There is no such thing - just like there is no such thing as a "perfect" marriage.  I'm 29, just bought a new house with my husband in April and we got married July 7th of 2007 and my advice to young couples wanting to get married today is to spend a moderate amount of money on the wedding and save your money for a much more important investment - your house!  As my parents taught me - moderation in everything! (including weddings)

Hopefully these women will stop idealizing and obsessing about the details of their wedding day and start working on the long-range commitment of their MARRIAGE.  It is easy to plan a perfect wedding. It is a far more difficult task to maintain, nurture and grow a marriage that will last for decades to come.

While I'm sure that having your wedding day befouled with bad weather is tragic. That first woman was a little overboard with the drama. The most profound thing I heard Dr. Phil say was that this woman was not "cursed" and that she should think more positively or she will set herself up for bad things to happen. I am just having difficulty with the amount of energy this woman is spending on something like this. I am a single mother of 5. I worked feverishly to support myself and the kids, and I eventually became very independent and self sufficient. My dream car was a BMW. I was finally able to afford it. Last year, a rain storm came, and in a freak flash flood, I lost the car. It was parked in front of my condo! I had no idea the condo was in a flood plain. I had been dating a surgeon for several years. A month after I lost the car, the boyfriend dumped me. A few weeks later, I decided to focus my energy elsewhere, so I drove from Maryland to North Carolina and bought my 7 year old twins a tea cup chihauhau. Little did I know, that this adorable puppy had a genetic defect, and despite $5,000 in vet bills and 24 hour nursing care, she died. I was standing in the lunchroom at work talking with the CEO about this course of events. He looked at me much like Dr. Phil looked at that woman with the rainy wedding, and said "Count your blessings. You have 5 healthy children, a nice place to live,  and a great job." A month later, my little girl was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. She had never been sick a day in her life. Due to the devastating side efftects of chemotherapy, and the secondary things that occur with cancer, she requires 24 hour care. I gave up my job to care for her. Consequently, I lost my house and had to move in with a relative. These are the things that tragedy is made of. I would trade a rainy wedding day in a second for the hand of cards I've been dealt.  You just have to let it go, and be grateful for the positives in your life.

What a happy and sad story at the same time. I was rooting for you when you were able to buy that BMW and managed to overcome the hurdles in your life. Raising 5 children alone is a very daunting thought in the first place but to be able to thrive on top of it? I really respect that! But about your daughter, I am so sorry that she is having to deal with this tragedy. I am wishing you my best and hoping that your daughter comes into remission very soon. It seems so unfair when this happens to children. If you could, would you please tell us what her prognosis is? If you don't want to talk about that I completely understand. I'm just hoping that it is good. My husband lost a son in a car accident so I know how it feels to have to deal with heartbreak and your children. Again, I'm hoping and wishing the very best for you and your daughter and hope that she gets well very soon. Take care of yourself.

Sincerely,

Jewels