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Topic : 05/20 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp

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Created on : Friday, May 16, 2008, 02:20:59 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Have you got a whiny, crying, tantrum-throwing, feet-stomping, door-slamming, spoiled or entitled child? When you ask your child to clean up his or her room does World War III break out? Have you ever thought, Who is running this house, me or my 9-year-old? Four families who say their kids are out of control move out of their madhouse and into The Dr. Phil House. This is no summer camp … it’s Brat Camp! Skylin and Robert are newlyweds with a blended family of five kids. Robert’s two boys, Andrew, 12, and Micah, 8, constantly torment their new sister, Kaitlyn, 8, which causes yelling, crying, screaming and chaos. Helen and Tony recently divorced, but one thing they agree on is that their 9-year-old son, Ethan, lies, steals, cheats and bullies other kids. Lisa says her teen daughter, Haley, is spoiled and unappreciative. Wendy is a single mom who lost her daughter two years ago to brain cancer, and now her 10-year-old son, Noah’s, behavior has spiraled out of control. Are you in a constant battle with your child? It’s time to step up, take back control and create a happy, healthy and peaceful family. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.


Discuss your views on discipline here.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

 
pinkwhite
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May 22, 2008, 12:27 pm PDT

Ethan reminds me my Husband behaviour

 

My husband act as same as Ethan when I want to talk with him.I make me very angry and I never can finished what I want to say it .

My husband is 36 and he is a Bully. I have been reading a lot about The serial Bully behavour and it scares me bacause this behavours is very confussing.

he always said that his parents did not support him when he was kid that only was her sister but i stil don't know if it is true. He has a lot of angry and resentments but he is not clear telling me what happened when he was child.

I have been reading that they learn this behavour very early.

He abuse his parents, her sister and me. Sometimes I don't know what to do.
 
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chuck2
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May 22, 2008, 12:41 pm PDT

05/20 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp

Quote From: getrealtime

Shame on her for carring a picture of her daughter who died around her neck!!!! What kind of mother would do that!!!!!!!!!!! I guess you missed the post that Noahs Dad is very involved in his life and has been trying to work with him too??????It can't be that Noah has been babied sence the other child died????and his actions are from getting what he wants!!!! he just can't be a brat like other kids ???

  lol..........................................................................

 Really.You think that woman babies him. I don't think so.

 As far as the necklace goes, yes she should have one for her daughter.Sory that the comment came off so harsh. My fault. I just think she needs to see her son in a way that she may have seen her daughter.

She seems so cold to him.Even in her responses that she post.It just seems like she would rather come out a winner of the argument than to get real help for her son.
 
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kenuffff
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May 22, 2008, 12:44 pm PDT

please tell these fools wendy

Quote From: coolscan

I wrote a much longer post and I don't where it landed, so here is an abbreviated one.

 

Wanted to respond to the idea of my turning the music up on the airplane. That is not even close to what happened. As anyone who has ever sat next to someone who had earphones in and was playing music knows, you can hear some residual noise. That is what Noah was experiencing. It was his attempt to converse with me as as if we were two adults that had him demanding that I turn the music down. Had I, there is no doubt that next it would have been some other ill fated attempt at another complaint. I refused, as I refused to allow him to run the show. My refusal at being intimidated by Noah is what caused him to go off.

 

To think I would goad any child, much less my child is a crazy thought. What I saw was and is a boy who thinks he is a man, an equal in this relationship. Luckily, we are working on this with daily results.

 

Wendy

could you address the constant foolish comment that noah has aspergers syndrome. im sure he has been tested at school at the very lest, and for all the "experts" on here you do realize autism is noticed in the first 30 months of development. noah is 11 years old!!. you don't abuse your son, don't let anyone tell you different, noah was lying trying to reverse the situation onto you. if he was really abused i highly doubt he'de seek you out for fights. glad to hear he is doing better though , and don't feel bad there are tons of children like him out there, lots of children seem to develop anti-social problems now
 
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kenuffff
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May 22, 2008, 12:48 pm PDT

hahahaha OKKKK..

Quote From: a23skido

The absolute RAGE in Wendy's eyes, her body language, etc. this tells the entire story!
Any psychologist worth their weight will see this.
Noah spent his life in the shadow.
Olivia was WONDERFUL.
However, through Noah's entire life, Olivia was critically ill, then sadly passed away.
Wendy has every right to grieve. Absolutely.
But Noah is suffering.
And I don't think that the numerous memorials to Olivia everywhere this child looks, are healthy for Noah.
The family car has been turned into a drivable moving shrine to Olivia.
The entire back windshield is a photo of Olivia with her date of birth and date of death.
Wendy wears the necklace.
No matter where Noah turns, there is a constant reminder.
Angels, photos, her urn. It is right in his face 24/7.
At some point Noah's feelings need to be acknowledged.
Noah never knew his place in the family.
And Noah is just as important in this world as Livvy was.
He is a wonderful kid. A beautiful little boy, so smart but oh, so hurt.
Wendy has so much rage.
Maybe Keith needs to take Noah for awhile, I don't know.
All I do know is that Noah needs to be heard, understood and LOVED for NOAH.
Noah needs to know that he is loved just as much as Livvy was/is loved.
Attention needs to be turned towards Noah now.
Everyone thought the world of Livvy, that will not change.
But let's start saving Noah.


what are your creditionials to make this analysis, the 20 minutes you saw him on tv, makes you more qualified than lets see, dr phil his entire staff which he has stated in the past involves a panel of decades of experience in therapy/pyschological. so obviously you know more than all these experts, CPS, noah's school etc etc . you're ridiculous. stop judging a woman when you have abosultely NO experiste in any field, if you feel he should live with keith as you put it why don't you call CPS on her ?
 
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lmbookerossie
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May 22, 2008, 12:49 pm PDT

05/20 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp

Quote From: peaceful63

Spanking is not discipline, it is punishment. Discipline is a very special kind of love. It takes a loving parent to take the time to instill discipline. It is so much easier to spank a child than to take the time to discipline, isn't it? A good old fashioned butt whipping? You sound like a very angry parent to me. I feel sorry for your son. a good old fashioned butt whipping is abuse. It seems that parents today just don't want to be bothered with being responsible. Parents today also have  much difficulty with delayed gratification & model that for their children. So, when kids display the same behavior as the parents, they get spanked. Go figure!!!!!!!!!!
There is a big difference between spanking and abusing.  And by the way, I don't have children.  But when I do have them, I'm sure they won't hit me, because they would know better.  Children need discipline (spare the rod, you spoil the child--that's what my Bible says).  And since I am a firm believer in what the Bible says, my child will be taught in the ways of the Lord.  You are entitled to your viewpoint and I'm entitled to mine.  But to hurl insults at me, is wrong.  I pray that you will see things in a different light.  I never said to abuse.  Some people don't know how to give spankings without leaving marks and whelts.  I'm not talking about that kind of spanking.  But what that child did, how can you defend that kind of behavior?!  That is absurd.
 
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chuck2
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May 22, 2008, 12:52 pm PDT

05/20 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp

Quote From: a23skido

The absolute RAGE in Wendy's eyes, her body language, etc. this tells the entire story!
Any psychologist worth their weight will see this.
Noah spent his life in the shadow.
Olivia was WONDERFUL.
However, through Noah's entire life, Olivia was critically ill, then sadly passed away.
Wendy has every right to grieve. Absolutely.
But Noah is suffering.
And I don't think that the numerous memorials to Olivia everywhere this child looks, are healthy for Noah.
The family car has been turned into a drivable moving shrine to Olivia.
The entire back windshield is a photo of Olivia with her date of birth and date of death.
Wendy wears the necklace.
No matter where Noah turns, there is a constant reminder.
Angels, photos, her urn. It is right in his face 24/7.
At some point Noah's feelings need to be acknowledged.
Noah never knew his place in the family.
And Noah is just as important in this world as Livvy was.
He is a wonderful kid. A beautiful little boy, so smart but oh, so hurt.
Wendy has so much rage.
Maybe Keith needs to take Noah for awhile, I don't know.
All I do know is that Noah needs to be heard, understood and LOVED for NOAH.
Noah needs to know that he is loved just as much as Livvy was/is loved.
Attention needs to be turned towards Noah now.
Everyone thought the world of Livvy, that will not change.
But let's start saving Noah.


I thought there had to be more to this!

Hang in there Noah!!

 
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kenuffff
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May 22, 2008, 12:54 pm PDT

whats your expertise?

Quote From: georgiebender

You're getting all caught up in semantics: (something my own abusive parent does): well, I did A, but I didn't do it the way you remember it, but I didn't do B.  That's all irrelevant detail and doesn't even matter.
  The fact is that your face and the malice it contained for your son spoke for itself.  I could never look at my kids that way, even if I tried, because I have nothing but love in my heart for them.  Your son will be and has already been permanently scarred by the very real resentment that you have projected on to him because of your own issues.  If you can't understand why people think you hate your son, go back and watch the tape.  Loving parents simply don't respond to their children that way, I know, I speak as a parent.  You just don't get it, and you probably never will.  It's irrelevant to try to explain normal human emotions to you since you don't get it, but I am typing more for the benefit of, first of all, people who wrote in to say that they too were abused and identify with Noah-I feel for you and wanted to validate you. 

Second, for those parents who wrote in to say that they would have slapped Noah silly, etc., I want to let you know that your behavior is not going to be overlooked or considered "acceptable".  Whenever we try to look the other way when people hurt children we all end up paying the price somehow.  I saw a mother talking viciously to her daughter the other day and my husband and I felt sick and powerless, but I wish I had said something, because the more society enables people like this to feel they're within the norm the more problem children we're going to have to deal with.  We all pay the consequences.  Kids aren't born angry, or poorly behaved. 
whats your expertise to make these judgements about abuse, because you were abused everyone else is too right ? maybe that makes you feel empowered to point fingers at others instead of facing your own problems. do you work with children on a daily basis i doubt it. i see children everyday in my job his age, and first off there are plenty of children "born that way" do you think every aspect of a person's personality is enviromental and solely based off interactions with their parent? there are plenty of children with anti-social behaviors in schools all across the country , just as bad as worse as noah. a persoanlity disorder yes you can be born with it, your brain has chemical balances , jeffery dahmer came from a good family. every angry child has an abusive parent is that your theory? well there must be a lot of abuse going on. parents have a right to hit their children, esp if they sit across from you and slap you directly in the face, people were spanked for centuries and seemed to turn out just fine, the "greatest generation" of americans ie wwII etc who built our country were spanked, i suppose you think they were abused too? these theories on child pyschology didn't even exist 50 years ago so how can you explain most of society turning out normal?
 
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kenuffff
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May 22, 2008, 12:55 pm PDT

also

Quote From: georgiebender

You're getting all caught up in semantics: (something my own abusive parent does): well, I did A, but I didn't do it the way you remember it, but I didn't do B.  That's all irrelevant detail and doesn't even matter.
  The fact is that your face and the malice it contained for your son spoke for itself.  I could never look at my kids that way, even if I tried, because I have nothing but love in my heart for them.  Your son will be and has already been permanently scarred by the very real resentment that you have projected on to him because of your own issues.  If you can't understand why people think you hate your son, go back and watch the tape.  Loving parents simply don't respond to their children that way, I know, I speak as a parent.  You just don't get it, and you probably never will.  It's irrelevant to try to explain normal human emotions to you since you don't get it, but I am typing more for the benefit of, first of all, people who wrote in to say that they too were abused and identify with Noah-I feel for you and wanted to validate you. 

Second, for those parents who wrote in to say that they would have slapped Noah silly, etc., I want to let you know that your behavior is not going to be overlooked or considered "acceptable".  Whenever we try to look the other way when people hurt children we all end up paying the price somehow.  I saw a mother talking viciously to her daughter the other day and my husband and I felt sick and powerless, but I wish I had said something, because the more society enables people like this to feel they're within the norm the more problem children we're going to have to deal with.  We all pay the consequences.  Kids aren't born angry, or poorly behaved. 
butt out of other people's business, a woman was yelling at her child that her business , you should feel powerless because its none of your business. thats a good way to get "adult abuse" by assaulting a person's parenting skills in public. grow up
 
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getrealtime
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May 22, 2008, 2:24 pm PDT

05/20 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp

Quote From: chuck2

 Really.You think that woman babies him. I don't think so.

 As far as the necklace goes, yes she should have one for her daughter.Sory that the comment came off so harsh. My fault. I just think she needs to see her son in a way that she may have seen her daughter.

She seems so cold to him.Even in her responses that she post.It just seems like she would rather come out a winner of the argument than to get real help for her son.

according to a friend that post they mother and father give him the world!!!! She can't see her son and daughter in the same way, one is gone forever and one she give the world too and spoiled him it sounds like, This family has a death  of a child and sister, and if they where not messed up little wouldn't they be Steppford people( God I hope you know the movie or it means nothing???) or you could say robots!!! I don't even want to think what its like to lose a child!!!! so if thats what she has to keep her daughter close then who are we to judge her need??? She will never get over her loss of her daughter she will just learn to live life without her, and sounds to me she and Noah have started to live life despite the fact that they are missing one.

 

she wants to come out the winner of the argument then get help for her son? isn't that what she was doing on the show??? isn't that what she has stated in other posts, they are getting help and its getting better???

 
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chaser113

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May 22, 2008, 2:39 pm PDT

YES TO DISCIPLINE

Quote From: tkthompson

I have to agree with you!  Parents are so scared now to displine their children.  I have 4 young boys and my 2 oldest have been spanked and when the 2 youngest are old enough they will be as well if needed.  It is not abuse it is discpline that EVERY child needs!

Just my opinion!

 I couldn't agree more.  I was raised in the 50s and my parents instilled the fear of God in me from the beginning.  I had respect for them.  I have no kids of my own, so I can't speak from experience, but I see kids all the time that are so snotty and out of control it's unbelieveable.  It's too bad people don't have to get a license to have a child, where they have to read a book and pass a test.  At least the people on this show had the strength to ask for help.  The kids don't come with a manual either.
 
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