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Topic : 05/21 Grandpa Returns: The Aftermath

Number of Replies: 488
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, May 16, 2008, 02:23:10 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
In a dramatic two-day series, Dr. Phil investigated allegations of child sexual abuse with a grandfather, his daughter and his grandson. Now, the family is back. Sherie-Lynn faces her father, Al, for the first time since his polygraph test indicated deception. She says she feels a weight has been lifted since the show, but she still wants him to admit that he molested her son. And, Sherie-Lynn’s mom, Elaine, says she believes her daughter and the polygraph, so why does she continue to live with Al? Plus, the horror and heartbreak within this family has taken its toll on Sherie-Lynn and Todd’s marriage. Are they headed for divorce court? Can this family in turmoil ever find peace and closure? Tell us what you think.

Find out what happened on the show.



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May 17, 2008, 2:26 pm CDT

Grandpa needs kept away from all children

      I was so saddened when I saw this show about the Grandfather who had molested his daughter as a child, more times than he will admit, and has now moved on to his Grandson.  I'm glad the show aired, people need to be aware that these things do definitely happen.  No matter how things appear on the outside, noone really knows what goes on behind closed doors except the ones behind the closed doors and God!!  I don't understand why this Grandfather will not own up and admit to his wrongdoing, it's out in the open and everyone believes he is guilty.  I am proud of his daughter for coming forward with this story, I know it had to be extremely difficult for her.  I don't understand why her father molested her or why it appears he is molesting her son, her father needs to go to prison and not be allowed around any children anymore in any way, shape or fashion.  I don't understand how her mother can stay with her father especially when she says that she believes her daughter.  That Grandfather has scarred his daughter for life and has scarred his Grandson as well.  Any sexual assault scars a person and I know from experience how being sexually assaulted can effect your life.  I can't imagine how much worse it is when it is a family member who is the one who is responsible for the sexual assault.  I am looking forward to the show, I will be glad to get all the facts and hopefully some healing will come for this family!!

 
May 17, 2008, 2:32 pm CDT

he is sick also needs help

i know what it is like to be  molested by family cause me n my brother n sister were molested by our real dad also i was by my uncles,plus a foster dad,then that is not counting by  mom's b/f's .from the age of 5-17.so he needs to be thrown in jail then throw away the key.also have counsling when he is in.but i can see why ya haven't pressed charges cause ya scared that it will cause a problem w/family.also w/ya mom still having him live w/her still she could be scared also of the outcome .then he may have threated her in someway if she would kick him out or have charges be brought up.then to she could be protecting him in some way. that is why she hasn't done anything w/him.i know i wouldn't protected him in way. cause ppl like that need help plus have charges on them.he may have too been a vitcim too when he was young or later in life somewhere.but that gives him no reason to turn to anyone weather it is family or other ppl.so ya did the right thing to have a lie-detecter done to see if he will admit,cause nowdays alot of ppl do this kind of stuff all the time weather it is family or non-family,but that gives them no accuse to turn to other ppl.cause they need something done w/theses kinds of ppl ,cause it is like 10 out of 100 are being molested in every state on the hour.plus sheri-lynn,n todd plz stay together cause the lord will help ya if ya believe in him.ask for his' help in this turmoil ya facing cause if ya believe him all things are possible,also he will always there for ya in a time like this so put it in his' hands cause no job is to big or to small for him to handle.so the best of luck in a this time.a concerned  vitcim at one time but still taking care of this w/one day at a time.
 
May 17, 2008, 3:09 pm CDT

No time for this Gram-pa

 This grand-pa doesn't and won't get an hour of my time. Sorry Dr. Phil, once is enough of this nut.
 
May 17, 2008, 3:12 pm CDT

Stop Blaming Sheri-Lyn

A lot of posts on here are blaming Sheri-Lyn, which is short-sighted.  She is being treated as if she is normal and healthy, she's not.  She is dealing with a sickness that has destroyed her life, and maybe her marriage as well. 

 

I hate hearing that she put her son in jeopardy.  The unresoved family situation put her son in jeopardy, her in-denial mother put her son in jeopardy, and of course, Grandpa, who is a sociopath, put her son in jeopardy.  People don't understand how abuse of the nature that Sheri-Lyn is dealing with affects your judgement.  Practically no one on here gives her any credit for contacting the show to find out if the abuse actually occurred.  Sheri-Lyn needed that verification, to have someone say, yes Sheri-Lyn you weren't imagining that your pervert father molested you.  Her pain and grief are so heartrending, and a lot of people seem to think that she's just indulging her emotions.  They have no clue what this sort of thing does to a person's integrity and dignity. 

 

The buck stops with Grandpa and Grandma.  They are the two people who created the situation that a child had no control over.  And another thing I want to say is that Sheri-Lyn is not ever going to get an apology from her father, because he is a sociopath.  If her recovery is contingent on getting an apology from this sick, demented individual ,then it is going to falter.  Sheri-Lyn needs to accept that he is a damaged man beyond repair, and that she can rebuild her life, and the life of her son, without his apology.  If he does admit to everything, then it will be a rare event.   If she accepts people's jugement of her as an irresponsible parent (which she is not, because the woman has been suffering from a sickness), then that will impede her road to recovery. 

 

I wish there were more informed voices posting on here, more thoughtfulness of the situation, instead of ranting and raving.  Sure, primal emotions are going to get stirred up; but try to move beyond that, and educate yourselves as to what moestation is, and its effects on the individual.  And stop judging a woman, who had the courage to go on national tv, in order to seek a resolution to her dilemna.  If she thought for an instance that Dr. Phil was going to judge her, she never would have brought it to the attention of millions.  She is one of the bravest souls I've ever encountered, and all she needs to do, in my view, is recognize that her father's transgressions are the result of his sociopathy, accept it, and move on, away from him, and her mother.  The boil has been punctured, let it drain and heal.  God bless to all on here who have been wounded in any way that causes them to rage.  Rage is necessary, but understanding and forgiveness are too.

 
May 17, 2008, 3:15 pm CDT

Give Sherri-Lynn a break!

Quote From: missyred

Sherri-Lynn didn't only let Parker spend one night, he stayed there several nights while she was doing who knows what.  That was never discussed.  All of them should be charged with child abuse.  And Sherri-Lynn can quit with the hysterics.  What a drama queen.   I hope Dr. Phil has the guts to have Parker removed from the entire family.
I don't think that Dr. Phil would attack the mother for leaving the child because she was obviously still really messed up from her own abuse she had never dealt with or been treated for. No matter how many years go on by, people like her who have been molested as a child will have these kinds of problems, & it doesn't go away easily, plus of course, people like her make bad mistakes & decisions like that, & she's definitely NOT a drama queen. She's already been through enough problems & she has already made a mistake of leaving her child with her parents because she wants to try to forget all of this & move on from it. So give her a break. Both her & Parker are the victims throughout all of this. I'm anxious to see what happens next.
 
May 17, 2008, 3:29 pm CDT

05/21 Grandpa Returns: The Aftermath

Quote From: chatelaine

A lot of posts on here are blaming Sheri-Lyn, which is short-sighted.  She is being treated as if she is normal and healthy, she's not.  She is dealing with a sickness that has destroyed her life, and maybe her marriage as well. 

 

I hate hearing that she put her son in jeopardy.  The unresoved family situation put her son in jeopardy, her in-denial mother put her son in jeopardy, and of course, Grandpa, who is a sociopath, put her son in jeopardy.  People don't understand how abuse of the nature that Sheri-Lyn is dealing with affects your judgement.  Practically no one on here gives her any credit for contacting the show to find out if the abuse actually occurred.  Sheri-Lyn needed that verification, to have someone say, yes Sheri-Lyn you weren't imagining that your pervert father molested you.  Her pain and grief are so heartrending, and a lot of people seem to think that she's just indulging her emotions.  They have no clue what this sort of thing does to a person's integrity and dignity. 

 

The buck stops with Grandpa and Grandma.  They are the two people who created the situation that a child had no control over.  And another thing I want to say is that Sheri-Lyn is not ever going to get an apology from her father, because he is a sociopath.  If her recovery is contingent on getting an apology from this sick, demented individual ,then it is going to falter.  Sheri-Lyn needs to accept that he is a damaged man beyond repair, and that she can rebuild her life, and the life of her son, without his apology.  If he does admit to everything, then it will be a rare event.   If she accepts people's jugement of her as an irresponsible parent (which she is not, because the woman has been suffering from a sickness), then that will impede her road to recovery. 

 

I wish there were more informed voices posting on here, more thoughtfulness of the situation, instead of ranting and raving.  Sure, primal emotions are going to get stirred up; but try to move beyond that, and educate yourselves as to what moestation is, and its effects on the individual.  And stop judging a woman, who had the courage to go on national tv, in order to seek a resolution to her dilemna.  If she thought for an instance that Dr. Phil was going to judge her, she never would have brought it to the attention of millions.  She is one of the bravest souls I've ever encountered, and all she needs to do, in my view, is recognize that her father's transgressions are the result of his sociopathy, accept it, and move on, away from him, and her mother.  The boil has been punctured, let it drain and heal.  God bless to all on here who have been wounded in any way that causes them to rage.  Rage is necessary, but understanding and forgiveness are too.

Amen! I was outraged last time because of many negative posts about her, because they sure haven't walked in her shoes. You're just a few of the people who has a lot of sense about this situation. Thank you!
 
May 17, 2008, 3:38 pm CDT

PLAIN SICK AND DISTURBING

It is very sick that this had to happen. My heart goes out to the little boy involved. I don't understand why a child has to EVER go through this.

I do not blame the mother so much. My heart goes out to her, now if she is letting the grandson around the grandfather now then YES it's her fault as well. Come on though how could the Grandmother not know?

I believe she turned her head the other way and completely ignored or denied it. She is SICK herself. I pray the man admits to his faults and he gets put away for good and MAYBE the child involved can get some help himself in dealing with such a disturbing matter.


As far as the divorce, how sad. What this child needs is his parents to remain STRONG, INVOLVED AND TOGETHER! not apart or it could become worse. Also the mother ( of the child ) needs her husband.


 
 
May 17, 2008, 3:40 pm CDT

Reply to this

Quote From: manofgoods

I don't think that Dr. Phil would attack the mother for leaving the child because she was obviously still really messed up from her own abuse she had never dealt with or been treated for. No matter how many years go on by, people like her who have been molested as a child will have these kinds of problems, & it doesn't go away easily, plus of course, people like her make bad mistakes & decisions like that, & she's definitely NOT a drama queen. She's already been through enough problems & she has already made a mistake of leaving her child with her parents because she wants to try to forget all of this & move on from it. So give her a break. Both her & Parker are the victims throughout all of this. I'm anxious to see what happens next.
You know what now that I think back on the program the mother did seem awfuly dramatic. I never noticed her shed a REAL tear. Or was that just me??

So maybe your right, maybe they should all go to jail & possibly explains why the hubby wants to leave.

 
May 17, 2008, 5:18 pm CDT

very sick

 I feel so sad for the child and the mother.If you have never been in a abusive situation you will never understand how the mother must feel.She will never forget no matter how old she is.She will vividly have dreams and nightmares about her father who was supposed to love her  and protect her. I personally know how she feels.The father needs to be in jail but it will be easy for him he leaves his victims behind
their lives destroyed.
 
May 17, 2008, 5:21 pm CDT

Grandpa Returns!!!

GRANDPA RETURNS!!!

Dear Dr. Phil:

I’m fifty-five years old and I live with a mental illness called “Borderline Personality Disorder” and will have to live with this diagnosis for the rest of my life -because there‘s no know cure!!

I’m a survivor of Childhood Rape between the ages of five and seven, by my father’s friend who used to come and stay with my family for a month at a time!!! Because I was so young, all I ever wanted from this man was his friendship. I definitely didn’t want the sexual abuse that followed. I think the reason I’m reacting so hard to this very sick story, is that all of us kids were made to refer to him as GRANDPA!!! I do realize however that the same isn’t true in this case because very tragically, this is this young man’s GRANDFATHER!!! What really anger’s me about this case, is the total lack or respect this mother has for her daughter. People need to listen to their children when they tell them that this activity is going on, because at a child’s young age -how would they know anything about sex if it wasn’t really going on??? When I tried between the ages of five and seven to tell my mother that I was being raped, she didn’t listen to me because she said; “you know he’s like that and your naughty for going around him”!

I have found a truly God sent therapist, who was always kind, caring, and who never raised her voice at me even though sometimes I frustrated her so!! Now that I’m older and have spent many long hard years working through my abuse from this man, I realized that this wasn’t my Grandpa, because my real Grandpa wouldn’t have done this to me!!!

Now I’m no doctor but I do have an Associate’s Degree in General Studies which was obtained in 1976. I mention this because 1, I’m proud of it, and 2,because I hope that someday I can work with mentally ill adults. I further mention this because I’ve done public speaking, and I learned that an effective speech comes from rehearse.

As with any topic I speak on, I do some rehearse into the topic first, which is exactly what I’ve done here. Before responding to this show which deeply infuriates me, I logged onto www.mayoclinic.com, so I could have a better understanding of what I’m writing about.

What Is a Borderline Personality Disorder? The world renown specialists from Mayo Clinic say that; “Borderline personality disorder is often a devastating mental condition, both for the people who have it and for thaose around them.

Perhaps shaped by harmful childhood experiences or brain dysfunctions, people diagnosed with borderline personality disorder live in a world of inner and outer turmoil. They have difficulty regulating their emotions and are often in a state of upheaval. They have distorted images of themselves, often feeling worthless and fundamentally bad or damaged. And while they yearn for loving relationships, people with borderline personality disorder typically find that their anger, impulsivity, stormy attachments and frequent mood swings push others away.

 

 

Possible causes include:

Genetics. Some studies of twins and families suggest that personality disorders may be inherited.

Environmental factors. Many people with borderline personality disorder have a history of childhood abuse, neglect and separation from caregivers or loved ones.

Brain abnormalities. Some research shows changes in certain areas of the brain involved in emotion regulation, impulsivity and aggression. In addition, certain brain chemicals that help regulate mood, such as serotonin, may not function properly.

Most likely, a combination of these issues results in borderline personality disorder.

These so called men and I do call them so called men, are so sick and selfish that they don’t realize the harmful effects that childhood rape can cause. At the age of fifty-five I still have nightmares, and while this part isn’t a proven fact yet -I do believe that you can die from having a nightmare! I’ve woken up in a panic and so disoriented that my heart feels like it’s goanna jump out of my chest at any moment! My last heart attack which the doctors called mild, happened the same day right after I had woken up from having a nightmare!!! Sometimes when I awake out of these nightmares I find myself just sobbing because I’m so upset over the dream I just had, and that’s when I usually call the crisis line so they can help me reorient to my surroundings. These times are usually after I’ve dreamt of being gang raped by several men.

Also while I was doing my rehearse into writing this article, I looked up child abuse on that same Mayo Clinic Website. The first mental illnesses that it brought up were BPD and Schizophrenia!!! This article also lead me to an article on child abuse of which I’ll now copy and paste directly into this response.

Can physical or sexual abuse in childhood cause borderline personality disorder?

Answer

“Traumatic events in childhood — such as physical or sexual abuse — increase the risk of borderline personality disorder and other personality disorders. But the exact cause of borderline personality disorder isn't known. Most likely, it's caused by a combination of heredity and environmental factors.

Borderline personality disorder is a serious emotional disturbance that's characterized by unsatisfactory and unstable personal relationships, intense anger, impulsive actions, feelings of emptiness, and real or imagined fears of abandonment.

 

It may be that emotional trauma at a time when the brain isn't fully developed alters something in the brain that decreases the ability to effectively deal with subsequent stressful situations. Childhood abuse can also be associated with other mental illnesses including depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety disorders and substance abuse disorders”. Either this so called man is so selfish and self-centered that he just don’t care what impact this is having on his family members, or he’s so mentally sick that he just can’t comprehend just how hurtful he’s being to his family or others that surround him!!! I sincerely hope that the church whose holding that church camp he’s so excited about going to, doesn’t hire him to work with all those young children, because that would be like taking a small child into a candy store and telling them that they could have anything they wanted! That would only be enabling his in proper behaviors, and the God that I serve doesn’t allow that!

I next in my rehearse to find a description of what a Narcissistic personality disorder is, Mayo Clinic defines this as Narcissistic personality disorder and is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. They believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism. The signs and symptoms that I feel best describe this man are:

Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include:

Believing that you're better than others

Exaggerating your achievements or talents

Expecting constant praise and admiration

Believing that you're special

Failing to recognize other people's emotions and feelings

Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans

Trouble keeping healthy relationships

Setting unrealistic goals

Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional

While I realize that these aren’t all the signs and symptoms, these symptoms are the best ones that exactly fit what this man truly is. It is from my rehearse into this case that while I’m not a professional, my hypotheses of this man’s disorder should be that of a Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and that this man needs treatment before he can inflect more pain and suffering onto others!

 

If my perpetrator were still alive I’ve envisioned, taking him out into the dry desert on a hot and sunny day, staking him right over a red aunt hill, and pouring sugar all over his body -so that when he started sweating the sugar would attract these red aunts or fire aunts as their more commonly know as, and let these aunts bite him all over his body. I feel that this would be his just reward, and he would have to endure some of the pain I’ve had to go through in my life!!!

My nephew told my family one day after a holiday meal, that he was guarding an inmate who had been convicted of child molestation, and while this inmate stood up to go to the bathroom, his cell mate reached up and cut it off for him!!! I was totally elated when I heard this and thought to myself, well he’ll never rape another person again in his life!!!

I’m an advocate for the mentally ill and it is because of my rehearse that I fully feel that this man truly has a Narcissistic Personality Disorder, that I might be able to forgive him for all of his wrongs -but I’d never forget because he doesn’t understand, because if he didn’t I’d want to come up on stage and cut his off too, only without anesthetic so I could listen to all the pain he would have to endure, and then I would feel fully satisfied!!!

 

 

 

 
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