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Topic : 05/26 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 2

Number of Replies: 145
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Created on : Friday, May 23, 2008, 07:35:18 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil continues his work with four families who say their kids are out of control. They moved out of their madhouse and into The Dr. Phil House to learn how to end the chaos and constant battles, and create a peaceful, loving and happy home. The parents and kids role-play with puppets, but when two kids misbehave, will their exercise become an exercise in futility? After Noah and his mom have another fight, Dr. Phil sits down with them privately to broker peace. Will anger and resentment give way to compassion and forgiveness? Next, all the kids participate in an experiment called Temptation Table – a table is covered with candy, cookies, cell phones and toys. Can all the kids be trusted around Dr. Phil’s Temptation Table? You won’t believe what happens when their parents leave the room! Then, Dr. Phil shows the parents home camera footage of poor parenting situations in their home. Will the parents stop what they’re doing and become a calm, united front for their kids, providing consistent, predictable consequences to bad behavior? One mom’s question has Dr. Phil wondering if he’s wasting his time. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.



Discuss your views on discipline here.

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June 3, 2008, 7:41 am CDT

Bless your heart

Quote From: baronrae

I agree with you, I think she has her own issues..

 

 Yoshi, we all have our past to live down and live with. We have a tendency to draw from them in our opinions and ideas. You seem to be a "victim" your self. Maybe you were abused and nobody listened. However, every kid that says this is not always telling the truth.

 

I have a 5 year old son that acts just like Noah. He was told no, he was spanked, put in time-out, had things taken away, NOTHING WORKS!

I completely understand Noahs mom and how she is behaving. My 20 year old daughter was a perfect (close as you can get) child. I hardly ever spanked her, she just wasn't bad. My son has been "hell-on-wheels" since the womb! It all started with Colic and never stopped.

I have found myself saying and doing things I never would have done with my daughter. The more I try to get control of him the worse he gets. He has slapped me, spit on me, stripped naked in the kitchen and told me he was going to pee on me.  I have spanked him 5-6 times before 8:00 am.

He is ADHD and I discovered that the medicine (Adderral) was making him agressive and defiant. However, I have lived thru 2 years of hell first.

I took him to Psychiatrists, Counselors, Doctors and got really into debt. Finally it occured to me that he did not act like this before the medicine. So I asked the shrink if that (medicine) could be the problem and she muttered, "well, maybe". Guess what, it was!!!  My son was taken off the medicine and now he is just a normal brat, still hyper and misbehavin, but not the monster he became..

I had a rifle in the garage and I used to tell myself that, if the Dr. said there was nothing that would fix it, I would just come home, pull into the garage and blow my head off. I just knew I could not live like this forever, someone had to tell me it would get better.

I did send my son to his Dads house for a while, because I was soooo beaten down from years and years of this, I could no longer behave. I was really scared of what I could or would do.

I do think this Mom IS different away from the cameras, I can guarantee it.

BUT.... Noah is a manipulative, lying, disrespectful brat. If it was me that he slapped, I probably would have slapped him right back, without even thinking.

It is very easy to judge, I just hope you never have to find out what its like, first hand.

I'm really sorry for what you have been through. I can't even imagine.

 

It isn't always safe to assume that just because a child misbehaves it is bad parenting. We need to recognize that each child is unique and comes with his/her own personality. I have two wonderfully behaved children. I parent to the best of my ability, but the truth is they are just two very easy going kids.

 

I think parenting is VERY important, but some kids will turn out great despite us, and some may turn out not so great despite us.

 
June 3, 2008, 6:58 pm CDT

First, get it right

Quote From: tyler1

I'm sorry the *question* was, "What abuser stops abusing their victim, once their victim submits"? 

That is NOT what I said, or what I meant. I refuse to be drawn into a debate over a half truth, It makes me understand what happens in the media.
 
June 3, 2008, 7:03 pm CDT

Kudos

Quote From: baronrae

I agree with you, I think she has her own issues..

 

 Yoshi, we all have our past to live down and live with. We have a tendency to draw from them in our opinions and ideas. You seem to be a "victim" your self. Maybe you were abused and nobody listened. However, every kid that says this is not always telling the truth.

 

I have a 5 year old son that acts just like Noah. He was told no, he was spanked, put in time-out, had things taken away, NOTHING WORKS!

I completely understand Noahs mom and how she is behaving. My 20 year old daughter was a perfect (close as you can get) child. I hardly ever spanked her, she just wasn't bad. My son has been "hell-on-wheels" since the womb! It all started with Colic and never stopped.

I have found myself saying and doing things I never would have done with my daughter. The more I try to get control of him the worse he gets. He has slapped me, spit on me, stripped naked in the kitchen and told me he was going to pee on me.  I have spanked him 5-6 times before 8:00 am.

He is ADHD and I discovered that the medicine (Adderral) was making him agressive and defiant. However, I have lived thru 2 years of hell first.

I took him to Psychiatrists, Counselors, Doctors and got really into debt. Finally it occured to me that he did not act like this before the medicine. So I asked the shrink if that (medicine) could be the problem and she muttered, "well, maybe". Guess what, it was!!!  My son was taken off the medicine and now he is just a normal brat, still hyper and misbehavin, but not the monster he became..

I had a rifle in the garage and I used to tell myself that, if the Dr. said there was nothing that would fix it, I would just come home, pull into the garage and blow my head off. I just knew I could not live like this forever, someone had to tell me it would get better.

I did send my son to his Dads house for a while, because I was soooo beaten down from years and years of this, I could no longer behave. I was really scared of what I could or would do.

I do think this Mom IS different away from the cameras, I can guarantee it.

BUT.... Noah is a manipulative, lying, disrespectful brat. If it was me that he slapped, I probably would have slapped him right back, without even thinking.

It is very easy to judge, I just hope you never have to find out what its like, first hand.

Very well stated. I am glad you were able to find a soultion with your son, I agree completly.
 
June 3, 2008, 7:16 pm CDT

I am so sorry

Quote From: yoshiyoshi

Noah, a boy crying out for help from his abusive mother. He's ignored, his mother is told it's because she isn't controlliing him enough. Dr. Phil, do you belive that because Noah is a boy, he should just learn to get over it? Would you have delt with this situation the same way if a father was behaving this way towards his daughter? Has it ever occured to you that from the beginning, Noah's mother was manipulating you? That she's become a professional at acting like the victim, while beingn the victimizer.

 

Most people can see a child who is already damaged. Where do you think Noah learned how to be so manipulative? Noah is being sent the message, time and time again, he is unwanted because he was born the wrong gender. If he were a girl he'd be heard, if he were a girl he wouldn't be abused by his mother. If he were only the daughter she wanted.

 

This may sound extreme, but I wouldn't be surprised as Noah grows older, and things don't change. He becomes a transvestite, or wants to get a sex change. Everytime he turns around he's being told, "You deserve to be punished, because you're not female. You don't have a right to speak up, because your male. Men are supposed to just deal with it. You have no right to speak up to your mother, because she's female, and therfore better than you."

 

If this isn't textbook on how to create a Norman Bates, I don't know what is. You're so concerned Noah doesn't have respect for women, that he's going to abuse women. He knows his place, he has learned that men in this world do not have a right to exsist as they are. He has learned that only women are sympathized with, not men.

 

You have wasted your time today Dr. Phil. You had an opportunity to save Noah from his abusive mother, and instead you sat there and told him point blank, "Who do you think you are? How dare you suggest your mother is abusing you. Women don't do that, you are lying." You reinforced that she is better than him, that his dead sister was better than he is, even that the little girl in the other family deserves to be heard. He doesn't, because he was born a boy.

There is so much pain in you comment. I am not sure if you even realize the amount, I am sorry for Whatever,or whoever caused you live with such draining emotions.
 
June 4, 2008, 3:03 pm CDT

05/26 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp, Part 2

Quote From: meowqueen1953

There is so much pain in you comment. I am not sure if you even realize the amount, I am sorry for Whatever,or whoever caused you live with such draining emotions.
Thank you. I had depression throughout high school, I think that's alot of where the pain comes from. I also was treated rather negatively by the school teachers, and I see alot of the behaviour I incurred from them, in Noah's mother.
 
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